A/N: Hey guys! Thanks for all of your awesome reviews again! I'm really glad that last chapter went over so well with you guys!
Now, before you guys start reading this long chapter, I want to let you guys know that the awesome Magami Yuuri has drawn another fantabulous fanart for this story! It isn't on her deviantart account at the moment but you can see the awesome rough draft on her photobucket account. The link is in my profile, so please stop by and look at it. It's awesomely cute because it's another Little Yamamoto and Gokudera picture, both of which will sadly not be appearing again in this story. =( So go and check them out guys!
The only warnings I can think of is Gokudera's potty mouth, like usual. Despite that, and major amounts of drama in this chapter, I hope you guys enjoy it!
Part 8
It had been about an hour after he had left the hotel's restaurant—a little after 11:00 pm— when a pink puff of smoke covered Yamamoto's vision. He had been resting against the wall outside of the banquet hall doors and was taken by surprise when it happened. One minute he was staring at the ornate decorations on the opposite wall of the hallway and the next, he was flying through a pink psychedelic tunnel, his sight soon becoming consumed by darkness upon re-entry into his time. Having just undergone drastic fluctuations in light in under the span of a minute, it was no surprise that Yamamoto felt completely dazed as he sat in the darkened room while he rubbed his aching head with his free hand (the other still holding Gokudera Kazumi's letter) as he tried to readjust to his new surroundings. The raven-haired baseball player was so out of it, he barely felt the soft fabric of the blankets and futon beneath him or the presence of another person sitting next to him in the dark.
Thankfully, the room wasn't completely dark since there was a little night-light plugged into the wall on the opposite side of the room. This helped Yamamoto's eyes readjust more quickly as he heard the shuffling of fabric from nearby. Turning his head almost blindly in the direction of the noise, the taller teen was able to hear a groggy groan as a shadowy mass of spikey hair was outlined within the darkness, the smaller figure appearing out of a mesh of blankets higher off the ground.
"Mmm…what the…?" The groggy voice of another teen questioned as he rubbed his chocolate-brown eyes. The smaller teen sat up in his bed as he also readjusted to the darkness in the room. A moment later, the spikey-haired teen looked towards where he had set up the night-light and saw two tall figures sitting on the futon below and a little bit away from his bed. Not expecting this, the smaller teen on the bed jumped in fright, a noise of surprise escaping his mouth as his tired brain tried to figure out what was going on.
Upon hearing the other boy's exclamation, Yamamoto finally recognized who the voice belonged to. "Tsuna?" The taller teen questioned in surprise, his brain finally figuring out where he was.
"Y-Yamamoto?" Tsuna shouted back with just as much surprise as his taller friend, quickly noting that the other's voice sounded much older in comparison to what he had been hearing all day. That could only mean one thing.
His friends were finally back!
"T-Thank goodness you're all right!" The brown-haired teen let out with a relieved sigh, his tensed up body finally relaxing upon his bed before he realized that he couldn't see his friends too well. "Ah! Just a minute, I'll turn on the light!"
Yamamoto closed his eyes for a moment when he heard his smaller friend shuffle off of his bed and through the darkness of his bedroom until he found the light switch. In the next second, a flash of light illuminated the raven-haired teen's eyelids, indicating that the lights had been turned back on.
As Tsuna readjusted to the light as well, the smaller teen opened his eyes to see his friends sitting on his spare futon, Gokudera covering his eyes with one of his hands while Yamamoto tightly held his eyelids closed. "Ah! I'm glad Gokudera-kun's back too!" Tsuna sighed in relief again. Even though he had seen a second dark figure sitting in the room, he hadn't heard the other boy speak so he hadn't exactly been sure if he had imagined that the other boy was there or not.
Hearing that the silver-haired boy was in the room with them too, Yamamoto opened his eyes again and quickly shifted around to hide the letter behind his back. He didn't need Gokudera seeing it and questioning it too soon or else his present would be ruined. It was also here that Yamamoto noticed that he was sitting on a futon with the other boy as well.
Tsuna was quick to notice the look of confusion cross his taller friend's face as he made his way back to sit on his bed. He had also noticed Yamamoto shifting to hide something behind his back and that Gokudera still hadn't talked or responded in anyway. Frowning a bit in worry as he made himself comfortable again on his bed, Tsuna decided that he needed to explain why his friends were sitting where they were. "Um, I'm sorry but I had your younger selves share a bed for the night. I wasn't sure when you guys would be back and we didn't have anywhere else to put you guys…"
"Haha, its ok Tsuna." Yamamoto interrupted with a dismissive wave of his hands (the letter was laying behind him now). He wasn't going to tell the smaller boy that Gokudera and him were used to sharing the same bed since he knew that wouldn't go over very well with everyone in the room. "It couldn't be helped. Gokudera and I should actually thank you for taking care of our younger selves! I hope we weren't too troublesome, haha!"
"Heh…" Tsuna let out an uncomfortable chuckle, not sure on how to respond to the taller teen's statement. The younger versions of his friends hadn't been too difficult to take care of but they had still caused a lot of unnecessary trouble and drama. Deciding that changing the subject was best at the moment, Tsuna curiously asked. "So…where did you guys end up anyway? Were you still in Namimori?"
Yamamoto laughed good-naturedly at that as he rubbed the back of his head. "I was in Tokyo actually. Believe me, I was surprised too, haha!"
After Tsuna gaped at him in shock for a moment, he asked the all-important question of why Yamamoto had been in Tokyo of all places. The baseball player then went into a short detailed explanation of how his father went to Tokyo for college class reunions sometimes and that he had brought his younger self along. Yamamoto completely skipped over his encounter with the beautiful Gokudera Kazumi; if he mentioned her, he would ruin the surprise he had for Gokudera.
As Yamamoto's tale ended, an awkward silence filled the room as the raven-haired boy and Tsuna waited patiently for Gokudera to respond to Tsuna's question as well. As the silence continued to ensue, the sky and rain guardians' eyes flashed with worry as they glanced towards their silent friend, wondering why he hadn't said anything yet.
Since Yamamoto was sitting closer to him, he got a better view of his silver-haired lover. The usually fiery bomber was sitting in a slouched position, his head hanging low with his silvery bangs covering his eyes. Yamamoto was also quick to note how Gokudera's hands were clenched into fists, one of his arms held up by a raised knee while the other was held at his side and beside his other leg that was laying straight out in from him.
More worry overcame the raven-haired teen as he witnessed his lover's lamenting form. Not caring that he was intruding on the other boy's personal space, Yamamoto scooted closer until he was able to bend his head in just the right way to meet Gokudera's eyes. It was here that the taller teen's hazel orbs widened in shock, noticing the obvious swollen red rims under the silver-haired teen's eyes. "G-Gokudera?" Yamamoto gasped in surprise at the sight, more worry overcoming him as he stared at his forlorn lover.
It was obvious that Gokudera had been crying.
Upon hearing his boyfriend's questioning voice, Gokudera quickly shifted his head away in the opposite direction from Yamamoto, biting his lip and clenching his fists together harder as he heard the voice of the person he had come to care too much for. He wasn't ready to face his taller counterpart yet, not when he was still emotional about the decision he had made only an hour prior.
Still, he had been rude to the Tenth long enough by not answering his question and that was inexcusable. Gathering his strength, Gokudera finally let out in a hoarse voice, "I…I was at my father's mansion the whole time."
There was a tense silence as this new set of information was processed. Suddenly, the silver-haired bomber's previous silence made all the more sense.
"Oh…" Tsuna muttered unsurely, completely at a loss on what to say to his ailing friend. Obviously being re-introduced to the mansion and seeing his father again hadn't been a good experience for Gokudera. "I'm sorry about that, Gokudera-kun."
As Gokudera quietly mentioned that Tsuna shouldn't apologize for what he couldn't help, Yamamoto remained silent as he shifted back towards where his letter lay, completely hiding the papers from view again. The taller teen's hazel eyes darkened as a foreboding feeling overcame him. Gokudera had been stuck in the mansion he hated for most of the day and had more than likely seen his father again. It was obvious that the experience wasn't a happy one and it was more than likely that being stuck in the place he hated most with the haunting memories of his mother probably his only source of company, that the whole experience must have been grueling and torturous for his beloved Italian. Christmas Eve was tomorrow. Was it such a good idea to give Gokudera the memento of his mother with such a fresh and horrible experience on his mind? The ring was from Gokudera's father after all and, not to mention, he had been able to meet Gokudera's mother, the one person he was sure that Gokudera would have given anything in order to meet again.
What was he supposed to do now? Would his present only rub Gokudera the wrong way? Was it wrong to give it to him?
Before Yamamoto could think on it more, an overwhelming pain erupted in his head. Letting out an agonized shout, the taller teen grasped his spikey hair between his fingers as another wave of pain overcame him. Suddenly, flashes of memories that he swore he had never seen or experienced starting rushing through his mind. He saw a smaller boy before him, probably only two-years-old, with shiny silver hair. He remembered that same boy punching him in the cheek, then shaking his hand in a token of friendship. He remembered reading a big book with the other boy and playing tag with him, closely followed by falling asleep on the silver-haired boy's shoulder. The final rush of memories consisted of feeding the silver-haired boy with a pair of chopsticks, taking a bath with him—wait, was he sucking on the other boy's ear?—and then cuddling up with the familiar looking boy as they fell asleep in a futon together.
…What in the world?
While Yamamoto was trying to figure out what was going on, Gokudera was experiencing the same pain as he dug his fingers into his scalp, the same memories flashing through the Italian's mind at the same time.
"Yamamoto! Gokudera-kun! Are you alright?" Tsuna exclaimed in horror as he watched his friends shakily let go of their heads, the pain from the forced memories finally receding. "What just happened?"
There was a moment of silence before Yamamoto shakily peered up into Tsuna's worried irises. "I…I'm not sure…" The taller teen mumbled out unsteadily, trying to recollect what he had just experienced. "I…can't remember everything that I saw but I'm sure I saw a little boy with silver hair. Could it be that…" The raven-haired athlete swallowed heavily as his brain came up with the only solution. "Were those the memories of what our younger selves went through today?"
"It's possible." A nasally voice answered from above, the words spoken with slight intrigue. "It's only natural that your memories would be altered by experiencing something that you hadn't experienced previously in your past."
Yamamoto and Tsuna glanced in the direction of the voice to see Reborn was awake (or had he been awake the whole time?) and sitting up in his hammock, the spikey-haired baby donning pale pink pajamas, complete with stocking cap.
The sun arcoboleno's eyes twinkled with interest as he spoke again. "So, can you remember exactly what the memories entailed, Yamamoto?"
The baseball player's eyes squinted in concentration as he racked his brain for the memories again but no matter what he did he couldn't recall what he saw just moments ago. "Sorry, Little Guy," Yamamoto uttered in disappointment, almost ashamed of himself for not remembering something that had happened not too long ago. "I'm coming up blank. All that I can see is a blurry image of a child, and the only thing that sticks out about him is his silver hair. I can't remember exactly what he looks like, what we did, or even his name. It's all really fuzzy."
Reborn didn't seem to be surprised by Yamamoto's answer. "Well, that shouldn't be too surprising. They are memories from a long time ago and you were barely two at the time. It's natural for children to not remember that far back unless those memories had a very big impact on them. I'm actually kind of surprised that you could retain the vague memory of Gokudera."
Yamamoto was silent for a moment as he processed his thoughts again. He didn't like the idea of forgetting about Gokudera. "Actually, now that you mention it, when I look back on my childhood I always felt like someone else was missing but I couldn't think of who it was." Wondering if Gokudera had experienced the same as him, Yamamoto glanced over in the direction of his silver-haired friend to ask but his words got caught in his throat at the sight of the Italian bomber.
Gokudera was on his knees now with his hands grasping the carpet between his fingers in an iron-like grip, his hold so tight that his knuckles were turning white. Yet again, the older teen's head was bowed and his hair was obstructing his face from view but it wasn't too hard to see from Gokudera's stiff body language that he was agonizing over something.
Unluckily for Gokudera, Yamamoto had made a huge impact on him in his younger age so the silver-haired teen could remember more than his taller counterpart. Even though he had the same vague outline of a toddler—but this one with spikey black hair— like Yamamoto had for him and he couldn't remember the name of the boy that he had befriended, it was that key factor that made him remember; befriended. Yamamoto had been his first friend and one of the only truly kind people he had ever met that early in his life and even though he had grown to forget who that boy was, he still remembered that he had made a friend at some point. That thought had caused him to feel even lonelier as he grew older in his childhood. He could distinctly remember the other kids of the mansion making fun of him because he had mentioned the mysterious boy, claiming that he had come up with an imaginary friend. It didn't matter though, because Gokudera believed that he had made a friend and that very thought was what got him through most of his days. On those days, he would promise himself that he would meet the mysterious boy with the funny laugh again.
That same boy was now in the room with him and Gokudera could only feel the clenching pain in his chest as he realized that because of these newfound memories, he felt himself drawn even closer to Yamamoto. Suddenly, the other teen meant so much to him, even more than he had before. He had been his first friend; he had been the first person who had tried to get to know him, who had wanted to get to know him. He had been the one to change his perspective towards others in the future and he had been the first person he had ever let in completely.
There was no doubt in Gokudera's mind about what he felt for Yamamoto Takeshi. It was a feeling beyond friendship, beyond infatuation and adoration, beyond anything he had ever felt before. Gokudera knew that he had come to realize his love for Yamamoto a couple years ago but now, it was even more than that; this was a feeling that he couldn't adequately describe. It was love of the highest caliber, a feeling so strong that the four letters that he used to describe it didn't do it justice. 'Love' wasn't the right word to use but it was the closest thing he could come up with that described the emotion that had just consumed him.
And it was the most excruciating thing he had ever felt in his—entire—life.
This couldn't be happening to him. Not after he had finally, finally, convinced himself to break things off with Yamamoto. Not after he had promised himself that it would be less painful for them in the long run by giving each other up! This…this wasn't happening…this couldn't happen!
Gokudera repressed the choking sob that came from his throat as he felt his eyes begin to water again. Hadn't he cried enough already? How was it that he had more tears to spare! Not wanting anyone to see the pathetic state he was in, Gokudera quickly stood up and faced the opposite direction of the people in the room. He could hear the startled exclamations from Tsuna and Yamamoto as he abruptly stood but he paid them no heed as he quickly made his way towards the door. He had to get out of there!
"I'm sorry Tenth, I have to go!" Gokudera let out in an almost hysterical rush as he hurriedly walked towards the exit of the room. He could feel the tears in his eyes begin to leak down his cheeks as he heard Yamamoto call out for him to wait. The Italian teen ignored him though until he heard the same request from his boss.
"Gokudera-kun, please wait!" Tsuna pleaded, his big, brown eyes round with worry. "It's the middle of the night! I don't know why you want to leave but it's really cold outside, so please… at least stay and rest until morning."
The silver-haired teen stopped dead in the middle of the bedroom doorway, unable to deny his boss's pleading request despite how distraught he felt. Apparently he wasn't the only one feeling that way because Gokudera heard Yamamoto call out to him again, the taller boy's voice rough with worry and hurt as he asked him what was wrong.
Gokudera couldn't answer that even if he wanted to. Everything was wrong.
Unable to be in the room any longer, the silver-haired teen ignored his boyfriend's question and quickly mumbled out that he would be sleeping on the couch before he departed towards the stairs, leaving a concerned Reborn and Tsuna and a distraught Yamamoto in his wake; the three occupants in the room too shocked by their friend's behavior to chase after him.
Gokudera practically fell down the stairs in his mad rush to get as far away from Yamamoto as possible, the silver-haired teen blinded by his tears and the darkness that pervaded the hallway. He slipped on the last step though, the only thing preventing him from falling was his surprisingly quick reflex to grab the stair railing as he felt himself trip. It was here, frozen in shock from his almost fall at the bottom, his hand clenching the stair railing for dear life, that Gokudera broke down for the second time that day.
As the usually feisty teen slid boneless to the floor, he curled up and buried his face into his knees, his arms hugging his legs in a death-like grip as he choked and sobbed out his frustration while trying to be as quiet as he could. The last thing he needed was for anyone to find him in this pathetic state.
Why? Why did he have to love Yamamoto? Gokudera had finally found the resolve to let him go, to save both of them from the future torment he knew that was in store for them and now he cared for the baseball idiot even more than he did before! He didn't want this! He didn't want to feel for Yamamoto anymore! He didn't want to love; not Yamamoto, and certainly, never again!
That was the only conceivable reason in Gokudera's mind as to why he was letting himself shamefully cry at the bottom of his boss's stairway. He didn't want to feel anything anymore, not love, not pain, and he didn't want to remember how it felt to be held in Yamamoto's arms or how happy he felt with the other. If crying was the only way to get rid of those feelings, then so be it.
Gokudera didn't know how long he had drowned out his sorrows but when he had no more tears to shed and his throat felt dryer than sandpaper and just as rough, the only thing the silver-haired teen could feel was total and complete exhaustion. Truthfully, Gokudera just wanted to forget the whole day had ever happened.
With sleep the only thing on his mind now, the worn-out bomber slowly stood up on shaking legs and dug around in his pockets for a bit, his trembling hand producing a lighter from his short search. His hands were shaking so much from his previous episode that it took a couple tries and warbled curses in order to produce a flickering flame from the lighter. Once this task was complete, Gokudera slowly trudged his way down the pitch black hallway until he came to the entryway closet. As he slid open the door, the flame from the lighter illuminated the contents of the closet, most of the contents being racks of coats but the top portion of the closet held blankets and pillows for guests that were sleeping over. Carefully so as not to tip anything over or set anything on fire, Gokudera grabbed a pillow and a blanket and awkwardly maneuvered them under his free arm after closing the closet door behind him. From there, the exhausted teen made his way into the living room where he carefully set up his makeshift bed on the couch.
The same couch that Yamamoto and him had slept on when they were little.
Gokudera froze at the thought, completely surprised that he had remembered the long lost memory even though he couldn't remember it earlier in Tsuna's room.
This is when Gokudera remembered that he usually retained things better than Yamamoto anyway and that he practically had a photographic memory.
Well, that was just fucking great!
The frustration that bubbled up inside Gokudera quickly dissipated like the flame from his lighter as he quickly flipped the lid back over the little device. He was too tired to think on the subject of anything Yamamoto related any longer. As Gokudera quickly stuffed his lighter back into his pocket and shuffled around in the darkness while he made himself comfortable on the couch, all he could think about was the comforting nothingness of the sleep that awaited him (he could dream that he wouldn't dream, right?).
As soon as he covered himself with the blanket and his head hit the pillow, Gokudera got his wish. The complete exhaustion he felt from the day the reason for his dreamless sleep.
It was around three in the morning when a flashlight illuminated the stairwell, a tall and tired body slowly ambling their way down the steps. If Yamamoto was completely honest with himself, he knew that he was dead tired and that he should be sleeping but the memory he had of a very upset Gokudera running out of Tsuna's room had been haunting him, so he couldn't get to sleep even if he tried. He had tossed and turned on the futon until, three hours later, he deemed that if he wanted to get any sleep that night, he had to see Gokudera.
So that was why he was clumsily navigating the darkened corridors of Tsuna's house at three in the morning on Christmas Eve. He was tired, frustrated, and horribly worried about Gokudera and he was going to see him even if the silver-haired teen started a tantrum about it and woke up the rest of the household!
With tired determination, Yamamoto finally arrived at his destination. He gently placed the flashlight onto the coffee table before the couch so that the light would illuminate the surrounding area without going directly into Gokudera's face (Yamamoto really didn't want to wake him if he could help it). It was here, kneeling on the ground next to the silvery head of his lover that Yamamoto could see that the red rims below the smaller teen's eyes were still swollen and stained from tears. Just what had upset Gokudera this much to make him cry, even in his sleep?
Yamamoto's brow furrowed in concern as a tanned, calloused, hand gently came up to stroke the unconscious teen's cheek, the movement slow and light so as not to wake the sleeping beauty before him.
"Just what are you running away from, Gokudera?" The taller teen unconsciously whispered aloud as he leaned over his sleeping lover, his free hand coming up to grip the edge of the couch cushion tightly in frustration. Why did Gokudera have to keep his fears and insecurities locked so tightly within himself? Why couldn't he share them with him? Did Gokudera really not trust him?
Yamamoto felt his breath hitch at that thought. He hated the idea that after everything they had been through together that Gokudera still couldn't trust him and that he still couldn't completely open himself to him. The raven-haired teen wanted, more than anything, for things to go back to the way they were when they had started going out. Gokudera and him had been so happy together and Yamamoto was certain he had never seen the feisty Italian smile so much before, even though those smiles were usually small and secretive and Gokudera tried to hide them from him. Yamamoto could only hope that the present from Gokudera's mother wouldn't upset the feisty Italian even more than what he was now.
He could only hope that the present would fix the mess that had become his and Gokudera's relationship and convince his lover to finally open up and talk to him.
As his face took on another look of determination, Yamamoto was about to get up and leave but a sound stopped him in his tracks. It had been faint and almost unnoticeable but he had heard it nonetheless.
He was certain that Gokudera had just whimpered out his name.
The hand that was gently stroking Gokudera's face froze as Yamamoto tensed up in slight fear and anticipation, wondering if he had awoken his sleeping lover but, after a few tense minutes, Gokudera hadn't moved an inch and didn't speak again. Relaxing at the thought that he wouldn't have to deal with a more than likely cranky Gokudera this early in the morning, Yamamoto resumed his previous actions of lavishing the sleeping teen's face with gentle affection, a tender smile finding its way onto the athletes face. Knowing that he should stop his actions soon if he really didn't want to wake Gokudera but finding it hard to resist the opportunity, Yamamoto stooped down and pressed his lips to the sleeping bombers. The kiss was as soft and gentle as the hand held to the Italian's cheek and lasted just as long as the raven-haired teen's breath would allow.
As their lips slowly parted, Yamamoto hovered a couple inches away from the other before gently nuzzling his face into the mop of silvery hair before him, inhaling the characteristic sweet and smoky scent of Gokudera that he had come to love (despite his aversion to the smell of cigarette smoke). It had been so long since he had been so close to his beloved bomber, so long since he had touched him like this that Yamamoto stayed in that position longer than his exhaustion addled brain thought necessary. It was probably due to that very exhaustion that Yamamoto whispered into Gokudera's ear, "Please, Gokudera." The rain guardian pleaded in a tender, whispering, voice. "Please be here tomorrow when I wake up. Don't run away from your problems anymore. Talk to me and explain why you are so upset and why you lied to me about…about the misunderstanding. Please. I want to fix this."
After another moment of just memorizing the feeling of his lover against him, Yamamoto stood up and grabbed the flashlight off of the coffee table. As he made his way out of the living room, he spared one more longing glance towards the couch where his lover lay, the moonlight from the glass door to the backyard partially illuminating the darkened room and giving him a better view.
With a heavy and tired sigh, Yamamoto turned around and made his way back up the stairs to his awaiting futon. He could only hope that Gokudera was there to meet him in the morning.
As the ever hopeful teen made himself comfortable back in his futon, the sleeping figure on the living room couch didn't stir; the boy too far gone in sleep to know that Yamamoto had even been there.
Rays of sunshine were beaming through the windows of the Sawada residence before another person stirred within the household. Or two people, in this case. Nana was on her way down to the kitchen to make up a hearty breakfast for all of the house's occupants with Bianchi trailing behind her, the magenta haired woman on a mission to start cleaning the house early for the Christmas Eve party that night.
As the two women parted ways in the main hallway, Bianchi opened a nearby broom closet and took out a feather duster before heading towards the living room. The older Italian woman had been in the room for a couple minutes and was in the process of dusting the T.V. set before she noticed there was another occupant in the room with her. The magenta-haired woman froze upon seeing the bundled up blanket on the couch, her jade-green eyes taking in the face of her sleeping younger brother who had obviously come back from his time-traveling trip in the middle of the night.
Relieved that her little brother still seemed to be in one piece even though she knew that he had ended up back at the mansion in Italy (where else would her two-year-old brother be? He was barely allowed to leave the house even after he had turned five!), Bianchi set the feather duster on the coffee table and approached the slumbering bomber. Reaching her destination, the tall woman stooped down and ran her fingers through her brother's beautiful silver hair, her hand checking the younger boy's forehead for any indication of fever while she was at it. Knowing how her brother reacted around just the mention of their father, she wouldn't have been surprised if the fiery teen had worked himself into a frenzy and got himself sick as a result of meeting their father again, face to face, just the day before.
Sooner than what Bianchi would have expected, the silver-haired teen stirred, giving out a tired grumble as he felt the added heat on his forehead. Peeling his eyes open, Gokudera was met with a burst of sunshine from the sliding glass door on the other side of the room and the darker green eyes of his sister. There was a moment of pause as the two half-siblings stared at each other until Gokudera's sleep addled brain finally realized that he was, in fact, looking at his sister and said sister was not wearing protective eye gear.
"S-Sis! Gaugh!" Were the first words to leave the storm guardian's mouth before he curled up in pain and promptly passed out again from the sight of his sister's face. Bianchi's eyebrow twitched in annoyance at her brother's usual but still insulting habit before she left the living room to retrieve her goggles and a bucket of cold water.
It seemed her baby brother was sick after all.
Another hour within the house passed before Gokudera opened his eyes again. A pitiful moan escaped his lips as he clutched at his stomach in pain, a wave of nausea hitting him again upon his reentry into the waking world. Confusion crossed the Italian bomber's face as he felt a warm cloth against his forehead, the half-conscious teen trying to remember what had happened to him in order for the wet cloth to be there. Upon feeling the cloth being removed from his forehead, Gokudera turned his head to see a goggles wearing Bianchi dipping the cloth in a bucket of water and ringing it back out.
"I see that you're awake again, Hayato." Bianchi stated in slight irritation, still a little miffed that her brother would and would probably always faint at the sight of her.
Gokudera was about to answer back in his still groggy and nauseous state but choked on his words upon seeing his sister get up and start scrubbing the wooden floor boards a short distance away with the very wash cloth that had been on his face only moments prior. The silver-haired teen was struck speechless for a moment before he exclaimed, "What are you doing?"
Bianchi just peered back over her shoulder at her stupefied brother, giving him her best nonchalant expression. "Hayato had to go and faint on me again right when I was in the middle of cleaning. I promised Maman that I would help give her an early start on the cleaning for the party tonight, so I've been multitasking by cooling down your fever and scrubbing the floor with this wash cloth."
There was another short and stifling silence as the siblings stared at each other again, Bianchi's nonplussed expression never wavering as her brother gawked at her like she had just grown an extra head.
"Th-Th-That's unhealthy!" Gokudera screamed incredulously as he sat up on the couch in a flurry of motion, completely forgetting about his upset stomach.
Bianchi continued to eye her brother with a dismissive glare and went back to her job of scrubbing the floor like she found no fault in her actions. Gokudera didn't feel an ounce of surprise towards his sister's attitude though. Knowing her, she probably felt irritated with him and had done it on purpose despite knowing that she could have easily gotten another wash cloth to do her task.
As Gokudera sat on the couch and glared furious daggers into his sister's back, another woman entered the living room, a look of curiosity on her face.
"Oh Gokudera-kun! When did you get here?" Nana questioned in surprise as she approached the couch. "I could have sworn you weren't staying over when I went to bed last night. Did you come to retrieve your cousin?"
Before the silver-haired teen could question his boss's mother on what she was talking about, Bianchi stood back up and gave Nana a reassuring glance. "His and Yamamoto's Aunts came to pick them up last night and Hayato and Yamamoto came around that time as well. Tsuna offered to let his friends stay over since the bedding for the kids was already laid out."
As the brown-haired woman made an 'oh' sound in understanding, Gokudera finally realized what the women of the household were talking about. All of a sudden, a rush of memories and feelings from the previous day resurfaced in the silver-haired teen's mind, leaving the smaller teen feeling breathless in their wake.
Ignoring his still queasy stomach, Gokudera stood up abruptly and startled Nana and Bianchi out of their current conversation towards the household cleaning. Without glancing towards the older women and with his bangs masking his eyes from view, Gokudera mumbled out a courteous thank you to his boss's mother for letting him intrude upon her house so late at night and for allowing him to stay there. After asking her to give his thanks to the Tenth when he woke up, the agitated bomber promptly headed towards the doorway and out into the hallway where he had left his shoes and coat yesterday morning before he was hit by the bazooka.
As the teen was shuffling on his shoes in haste to get out of the house as fast as possible, he noticed Yamamoto's tennis shoes lying next to his. For a brief moment Gokudera wondered how Yamamoto traveled around Tokyo yesterday while only wearing socks to protect his feet. Had his feet felt uncomfortable being exposed to the chilly winter weather?
The feisty Italian made a strangled noise in his throat upon realizing what he was thinking about and finished tying his shoes at lightning speed. He had to get out of the house. He had to get away from Yamamoto before his resolve fully crumbled or else all of his plans and the last month's heartache would be all for nothing.
The storm guardian had just put on his coat and his fingers were on the handle of the door when a cold voice stopped him in his tracks.
"How was Father's mansion, Hayato?"
Gokudera stiffened at his sister's voice. He had been too caught up in his own frantic thoughts to have heard her approach him.
Everything was silent for a moment as the two siblings stood their ground, Bianchi glaring at her brother's back this time around while Gokudera fidgeted by the doorway, the silver-haired teen pondering if he should just leave or answer his sister's question. Since he was feeling emotional and completely off at the moment, Gokudera decided to say something else instead, something that his sister would have actually liked to hear. "I finally read the letters." The smoking bomber spoke up quietly as he glared at the door in front of him. Hopefully his words would be enough to let Bianchi leave him alone so that he could be at peace for a little bit.
The anger and irritation on Bianchi's face quickly gave way to surprise upon hearing her brother's words. Before she could respond, Gokudera quickly spoke up again, unconsciously answering the question she was about to ask. "Just so you know, I still hate the bastard and I probably always will." Gokudera spat out scathingly as the recent memories of his father resurfaced once again. "I just don't blame him for my mother's death anymore."
There was another pause as Bianchi's eyes narrowed at her brother's back; she was trying to read the aura Gokudera was giving off. As another minute passed by and Gokudera finally had enough and opened the front door to leave, Bianchi knowingly called out, "Don't do anything you will regret, Hayato."
Gokudera paused on the front step to Tsuna's house, his face contorting in complete confusion as his body shuddered out of reaction to his sister's ominous voice. What the hell did she know? Feeling his anger towards everything in general bubble up inside him again, Gokudera turned around and screamed at his sister to 'piss off' before promptly slamming the front door in her face, the infuriated teen only feeling the slightest bit of regret because he had just manhandled the door to his boss's house. After sending a mental apology to his boss, Gokudera hastily made his way off of the premises to find the solitude he needed in order to think things through before the party that night.
It was here, after hearing Gokudera's scream and the front door slam, that Tsuna and Yamamoto made their way down the stairs, rubbing sleepily at their eyes from their abrupt wake-up call. As the two teen's paused on the stairs and Tsuna groggily asked what was going on, Bianchi turned towards them and sent a silent pitying look towards Yamamoto before heading towards the living room again.
Yamamoto could only blink sleepily in surprise at the older woman's look, an all familiar feeling of worry twisting in his gut in response. Something told him that Gokudera had already left the house.
No matter what he did Yamamoto could not get in contact with Gokudera for the rest of the day. The young athlete knew his ornery lover wouldn't probably answer his cell phone or a knock at his apartment door but that didn't stop Yamamoto from trying those options anyway. When those tasks proved fruitless and the younger teen had searched the area for Gokudera at his usual haunts like a nearby park or the convenient store down the street, Yamamoto decided to put his task of talking with Gokudera off until the Christmas Eve party.
At least, he hoped that Gokudera would show up at the party.
Shaking his doubts away by reassuring himself that Gokudera not showing up to a party that Tsuna and his family were hosting would be seen as disrespectful to the storm guardian's eyes (that, and Gokudera had their joint gift for Tsuna), Yamamoto traveled back home in order to prepare his gift in slightly less-worrying spirits. Upon his reentry to his house and a friendly greeting towards his dad who was serving some customers before he would close down the shop for Christmas tomorrow, the raven-haired teen made his way up to his room to start working on wrapping his gifts.
Finding an envelope for Kazumi's letter hadn't been too difficult and neither had finding a small box for the ring. Even finding the Christmas wrapping paper and gift box tissue his dad used for their presents hadn't been too difficult to find but wrapping up the small box was another story entirely. Yamamoto didn't know how many sheets of wrapping paper he went through in just trying to make the gift box look just as perfect as the present held within it but by the time that the Christmas Eve party was about the start, the taller boy felt lost on what to do. His father was busy with customers still and he wasn't that good at wrapping presents as well, so what option did that leave him?
The dark-haired teen almost gave up in defeat and accepted his crappy-looking wrapped up gift but, thankfully, Haru stopped by on her way to Tsuna's house and asked if he wanted to walk with her (she was going to be meeting up with the Sasagawa's as well). The mischievous brown-haired girl saw Yamamoto's predicament and gladly (and rather quickly, much to Yamamoto's astonishment) helped him in wrapping up his present.
Even though he was extremely thankful for Haru's help (the present looked amazing and perfectly wrapped), the taller teen couldn't help but think that maybe letting her help had been a bad idea because, as the two of them walked towards Tsuna's, Haru teased him about his small gift. She was quick to assume that such a small box could only contain some sort of jewelry and teased him about giving it to someone special at the party that night. Yamamoto could only laugh uncomfortably as the springy girl gave him knowing looks that he didn't know how to interpret and tried to dismiss her assumptions by talking about the massive present she was carrying with her. Sadly, Haru never got the chance to really talk about her gift since they met up with Kyoko and Ryohei around that time. From there, it was a very short walk to Tsuna's house and by the time they got there, most of the other party guests had arrived.
Except for Gokudera.
Yamamoto tried his best not to show his concern by hanging around and talking with his other friends that he hadn't talked to in a while but, by the time the party actually started and Nana had brought out Christmas Eve dinner for everyone to enjoy, Yamamoto was an internal nervous wreck. Where was Gokudera? It was here, when everyone sat down at the long table that was used for their Christmas meeting a month back, that Yamamoto noticed him. The silver-haired teen was sitting by Tsuna like he usually would (Yamamoto had decided to sit further down the table next to Ryohei and Basil) and when the raven-haired teen asked Basil about when Gokudera had arrived, the other rain flame user responded that Gokudera had actually been the first to arrive and had been helping Nana in the kitchen with dinner.
Yamamoto couldn't restrain the weird vibe that he felt upon hearing Gokudera actually working in the kitchen. It was a well-known fact to Tsuna and him that Gokudera didn't do too well in kitchens because of how he associated them with his sister Bianchi. That and the silver-haired teen only knew how to prepare instant made things, so just thinking of Gokudera helping out with dinner produced a very weird mental image in the baseball players brain and sent him very strong warning signals.
It was obvious that Gokudera was trying to avoid him.
Why else would the feisty Italian subject himself to working in an environment he was completely uncomfortable with? To Yamamoto, Gokudera had to be pretty desperate in order to work in the kitchen with the rest of the girls (he did find girls completely annoying after all).
The raven-haired teen's eyes narrowed in hurt as he glanced towards Gokudera near the head of the table. The Italian's jade-green eyes met with his for a split second before the silver-haired teen quickly turned his head away and started up a conversation with Tsuna, pointedly ignoring the growing hurt accumulating in his boyfriend's stare. Yamamoto was so distraught by Gokudera's behavior that he barely tasted Nana's delicious cooking as everyone settled down to eat, which only made him feel worse because he knew all of the preparation and time that had went into the Christmas dinner.
Yamamoto also barely remembered most of the Secret Santa exchange that had occurred after everyone had finished eating, since he was too preoccupied with his worried thoughts. He barely remembered the hand woven head band I-Pin had made for him to use when he made sushi at the restaurant. He had given the Chinese girl a distracted thank you and he knew his smile hadn't quite reached his eyes but I-Pin seemed pleased all the same, so he didn't feel too bad afterwards.
Besides his received gift, there were only a few other exchanges that stuck out to him. One of them was Bianchi's gift to Haru. The brown-haired girl had opened the gift given to her and immediately slammed down the box cover the gift had come in, her face erupting in scarlet embarrassment. Yamamoto would later find out from Reborn (a week after the party) that Bianchi's gift had been a 'boy's love' novel.
In a week's time, Yamamoto would finally realize all of those strange looks Haru gave him when he was around Gokudera.
Yamamoto also remembered Reborn's gift being interesting too. The little baby's gift hadn't even been wrapped; it had been a picture with a small decorative Christmas bow taped to the corner of it. That picture had been handed to Mukuro and judging by the predatory look the picture had produced from him and the provocative side-ways glance he directed towards Tsuna (the spikey-haired mafia boss looked scared out of his mind by the illusionist's stare), Yamamoto could only guess what sort of secretive picture Reborn had taken.
He guessed Mukuro got his Christmas wish, if only in a different form then what the illusionist was expecting. Poor, Tsuna.
As bad as he felt for his best friend, Yamamoto almost forgot about the incident with Mukuro when he found out what was in the big present Haru was carrying earlier. The still slightly embarrassed girl had presented her gift to Basil who had opened the massive present and dragged out a feudal samurai cosplay outfit. Basil, who loved learning about the culture of Japan, was ecstatic at the gift and had promptly tried it on, wearing the very well made (Haru's skills had definitely improved) outfit for the rest of the night.
Yamamoto had been internally fan-boying about the samurai costume (he wanted to try it on even though it was obviously made specifically for Basil) when he noticed it was Gokudera's turn to present his gift. Yamamoto watched his boyfriend like a hawk as the silver-haired teen handed his gift over to Ryohei, the Italian's eyes never glancing in Yamamoto's direction. Despite how angry Yamamoto felt at Gokudera purposely running away from his problems again (and also for ignoring him), the raven-haired teen's attention quickly went to Ryohei who had opened his present. As the boxer lifted the box lid off his hastily opened gift, there was a weird springing noise as something popped out of the open box and punched Ryohei square in the chin, the startled boxer shouting out in surprise as he felt the strong jab connect with his lower jaw.
Everyone in the room went silent as they glanced at the box that the white-haired boxer held in his hands, a black boxing glove with flames and a skull near the end swaying back and forth above the box on a spring. The appearance of the present reminded everyone of a jack-in-the-box.
Surprisingly, Ryohei loved the violent present he received and tried to load the glove back into the box again for another round but Gokudera had stopped him, stating that he had made it so that the spring could only be used once and that was for punching Ryohei in the face for constantly pissing him off. Despite the very auditory disappointment Ryohei displayed, Gokudera helped detach the boxing glove from the spring and handed the glove to the white-haired boxer along with the other glove of the pair that he had been hiding under the table.
After trying the gloves on and throwing a few well-practiced jabs in the air, Ryohei's fiery enthusiasm for his gift was back in full swing again as he proclaimed to the heavens of their extremeness; the boxer more than ready to use his new gloves in the ring.
While Ryohei was being his overenthusiastic self, Yamamoto couldn't stop the twinge of jealousy he felt upon realizing how much time and effort Gokudera had actually put in to giving and presenting Ryohei's present (even though it had been for antagonistic purposes). Wasn't he supposed to get a gift from Gokudera too?
Did Gokudera even buy him a present?
The raven-haired teen's depressing thoughts were interrupted by the voice he wanted to hear the most. Hazel eyes quickly turned in the direction of the calling voice to meet with jade-green, Gokudera quickly averting eye contact and explaining that he wanted to give Tsuna their joint gift. Feeling slightly disappointed that Gokudera was only calling out to him out of courtesy, the taller teen got up from his seat as Gokudera went to retrieve their gift from wherever he had stored it. Standing side by side, even though, to Yamamoto, it felt like they were standing miles apart from each other, they both gave Tsuna the gift they had worked hard to get for him.
It was only natural for Tsuna to love his gift and after trying on the orange jacket and showing everyone how well it fit and the '27 Rocks!' emblazoned on the back, the spikey-haired mafia don handed his two best friends gifts of their own. Surprised, Gokudera and Yamamoto reached for the small packages held out in their boss's/friend's hands and opened them simultaneously. Reaching into the box that contained his gift, Yamamoto pulled out a blue clothed sports band with the words 'Left-hand man' sewn into the fabric in white thread.
Touched by the thoughtful gift, Yamamoto turned towards Gokudera to see if he got the same thing and, just like he expected, the silver-haired teen was holding a red wristband with 'Right-hand man' sewn into the fabric in white thread as well. Yamamoto gauged Gokudera's expression and wasn't surprised to see how touched his silver-haired companion was. Gokudera looked like he was holding back tears of happiness and gratitude as he choked out his thanks to Tsuna, the storm guardian looking the happiest he had been in weeks.
The jealousy in the pit of Yamamoto's stomach burned even brighter at the thought.
Despite the agony the taller teen was feeling, he could never hate Tsuna for giving them such a thoughtful gift so he gave him his thanks as well, the smile he wore not reaching his eyes. Detecting that his taller friend was upset about something, Tsuna then prompted that since he was standing up, Yamamoto should give his gift to his Secret Santa. Upon hearing the smaller boy's suggestion, the jealousy Yamamoto felt quickly turned into nervousness as he wondered if he should actually give his gifts away.
Before he could think much on it, he saw Gokudera heading back towards his seat and away from him again, the silver-haired boy completely ignoring him as if he wasn't there. Yamamoto didn't know what came over him in that moment but the next, he was moving forward and his hand was grasping Gokudera's arm and turning the ignorant bomber towards him so that he could look at him directly. The look of shock on Gokudera's face hardly registered to the taller athlete as he proclaimed, "W-Wait, Gokudera! I'm your Secret Santa!"
Yamamoto was startled by the look of fear that overcame Gokudera's features but ignored his conflicted feelings for the moment in order to let go of his lover's arm and go and retrieve his gift from his seat while he still had the courage to do so. By the time Yamamoto returned to where Gokudera was standing, the silver-haired teen was looking anywhere but at him, his bangs barely covering the look of pain marring his features as he clenched his fists at his sides. The look was so agonizing that it took everything in Yamamoto's being to not wrap his arms around his fretful lover and comfort him, knowing that he would be rejected and pushed away anyway (not to mention they were standing in the middle of a crowded room with everyone's eyes on them at the moment).
As that last nerve-wracking thought entered his mind, Yamamoto offered his small, wrapped gift and the envelope that contained Kazumi's letter to Gokudera, a look of desperation finding its way onto the taller teen's face. "Here." Yamamoto offered quietly as he waited for Gokudera to take his gifts. "I…tried really hard to find something perfect for you, so I hope you like them." Yamamoto barely acknowledged the strangled whimper he heard from Gokudera before he added, "When you open your present, please read the letter first. That way, you will probably understand the gift better."
By this point, Gokudera was actually looking at him now; his pale-green eyes alit with confusion and slight wonder. Yamamoto wanted nothing more than to stare into those beautiful eyes for hours on end since they were finally paying attention to him, but another thought popped into the young athlete's mind at the thought of the gift. Quickly turning his attention towards Tsuna again, Yamamoto asked if it was possible that Gokudera could open his gift in private. This only caused more confusion and intrigue among the guests and Gokudera but Tsuna couldn't exactly refuse upon seeing the desperation in Yamamoto's eyes. He knew something was still going on between his two friends and it seemed that Yamamoto was putting his all into the gift he had prepared in order to repair whatever problem the two of them were facing.
Tsuna nodded his assent and stood up from his seat on the floor, offering to show Gokudera to a guest room in order to open his gift. Gokudera just nodded dumbly as he followed Tsuna out of the living room, completely lost on what to feel at the moment as he held Yamamoto's gifts in his hands. He knew Yamamoto would get him a gift but that still didn't stop the hurt he felt, knowing that he was going to break up with Yamamoto after this day and that he hadn't bought a gift for the taller teen because of that fact.
The guilt was beginning to swallow him whole.
As Yamamoto watched his two friends walk out of the living room, he closed his eyes and prayed to whatever deity existed that his gift would fix things between him and Gokudera. Despite how much he wanted to see his lover's reaction to the gift, he felt that since the gift was so intimate and special, Gokudera should have some privacy and time to himself as he reflected on the present and the letter. Yamamoto didn't know what was written in the letter (it was meant for Gokudera after all) but he hoped that Kazumi's words, whatever they were, would reach his ailing lover and heal whatever wounds that were hurting him and causing him to run away.
As Gokudera was led into one of the spare bedrooms upstairs, the silver-haired teen still couldn't shake the dread he felt as he held the present and letter Yamamoto gave him. Tsuna seemed to pick up on his friends worry because he gave the troubled teen an encouraging smile before shutting the bedroom door, leaving Gokudera to himself with the presents at hand.
Feeling so unsure of what to do with himself, Gokudera just stood in the middle of the room, glancing between the present and the letter he held in each hand. If he was completely honest with himself, he was intrigued about what Yamamoto had gotten him and why he thought it was best that he opened his gifts in secret. But on the other hand, it was because of that reason why the silver-haired teen was so nervous about opening the gifts to begin with. He had been preparing himself for this night during the day and he had promised himself that he wouldn't accept any gifts from Yamamoto and that he would ignore him as much as possible so that the taller teen would take the hint that he 'wasn't' interested in him anymore.
The silver-haired teen shuddered as he remembered the look of desperation on Yamamoto's face and the pleading tone in his voice. Just remembering his interaction with his lover a few moments prior was enough for the storm guardian to be overcome with guilt. Because of the smaller teen's guilty conscious, he had accepted Yamamoto's gifts. How was he supposed to turn the other down when his face looked like that?
As Gokudera tried to suppress the anger he felt towards himself for submitting to Yamamoto's wishes once again, the smaller teen did as he was asked and decided to read the letter first. Placing the small gift on the bed, Gokudera carefully peeled open the envelope and retrieved the multi-paged letter. After he unfolded the papers, he started to read, quickly noting that the handwriting was very neat and precise and very feminine in its structure. More curious than ever, the feisty Italian began to actually take in the words on the paper. It took only a few moments of reading for Gokudera's face to turn deathly pale, his hands shaking as he tightly gripped the papers in his hands and his eyes widened in disbelief.
This letter…this letter was from his mother!
The silver-haired teen felt his heart stop at the very thought, almost refusing to believe what he held in his hands. He read the beginning of the letter over again to make sure that he hadn't been fooled but, the 'woman's' handwriting went on to discuss things about his family that Gokudera would only know. This was his mother!
Gokudera could feel a weird mixture of elation and disbelief hit him as he held the letter in his hands. What did the rest of the letter say? As a feeling of excitement overcame him, Gokudera read on, noticing that the letter went on to mention how Yamamoto met up with her in Tokyo and about the conversation they had. The silver-haired teen could feel his breath hitch and his eyes burn with jealousy as he read the affectionate words that were directed towards the black-haired athlete.
This was his mother, right? Why was she talking so affectionately about Yamamoto? Shouldn't she be talking about him, her son? Did she like Yamamoto better?
Trying to suppress the jealous and childish rage that was building within him, Gokudera continued to read the letter, his erratic emotions causing him to fail in taking in the words that he read until he came to a very interesting part in the letter; the mention of a promise ring. Now that he was paying attention again, Gokudera read that the present for him was a promise ring that his mother wanted to give him by request of Yamamoto. Gokudera wasn't really sure on how to take this information but when he got to the part where his mother explained that the promise ring was given to her by his father, nothing seemed to matter anymore.
Gokudera refused to read the rest of the letter.
The Italian boy fisted the half-read letter to his side in white-knuckled rage as he bit his lip to keep himself from screaming out in frustration. Gokudera's raging mind was filled with only a few key thoughts, those very thoughts running rampant through his head. Yamamoto had got to meet his mother. His mother! The one person he would have given everything to see again; to talk with her, to know who she was! And Yamamoto got to do that instead of him? Not only that, his mother seemed be rather taken with the tall baseball idiot and couldn't stop talking about him in the letter, a letter that was supposed to be meant for her son! And then, of all things, Yamamoto wanted to give him this memento from his mother, knowing full well that the ring was from his bastard of a father, the person that he hated most! Did that idiot think that this would be a good present? A ring from his father and a letter from his mother that only talked about Yamamoto?
With enraged tears spilling down his cheeks, Gokudera lost what little control he had left and grabbed the present off the bed. Not caring on how much noise he was making, the furious bomber threw open the door to the guest room and stormed down the stairs. All he wanted was to get out of there, to get as far away from Yamamoto as possible, to be completely rid of that stupid, idiotic, asshole who only served to make his life more difficult and painful.
Gokudera was absolutely sick of it. He wanted nothing to do with Yamamoto, not anymore.
The furious teen had slipped on his shoes and was in the front yard of the Sawada residence by the time someone stopped him. Yamamoto and everyone else in the living room had heard Gokudera running down the stairs but the young baseball player was the only one who got up to check out what was going on. When he had seen Gokudera run out the front door, Yamamoto had given chase after slipping on his shoes and was able to stop the silver-haired teen from going too far. Just what had happened to make Gokudera react this way? Why was he still running away?
"Gokudera, what's wrong?" Yamamoto exclaimed as he held onto his companion's arm with one of his hands, his eyes filled with worry and confusion.
The silver-haired teen's only answer was to turn around in the taller boy's grip and shove the letter and unopened present he held into Yamamoto's chest, affectively making the raven-haired teen let go of him in surprise as he scrambled to hold the gifts before they fell to the ground. Before Yamamoto could question what was going on again, Gokudera was screaming in his face.
"So that's what you were doing in Tokyo? Getting all chummy with my mother while I was stuck in a literal hellhole with my fucking father? I bet you're really proud of yourself, huh? I bet you feel so lucky that you got to know her that you couldn't wait to rub it in my face!"
Yamamoto was taken aback by the sudden hostility directed towards him. As he processed the other teen's words, the raven-haired teen couldn't help but be slightly offended by Gokudera's assumptions. "I would never do that to you. I couldn't help who I met when I was transported to Tokyo, Gokudera." Yamamoto replied evenly, his voice as calming as a soothing rain. It was obvious that Gokudera had been stressing over something for a while now, and judging by the boy's current actions, he had obviously snapped from that stress.
Yamamoto's thoughts were only proven correct as Gokudera refused to see reason. His emotions were so haywire from the constant stress he had been bringing on himself that he could only respond in blind rage, the smaller teen unable to process the words that came out of his own mouth. "Bull-fucking-shit, you couldn't!" The Italian teen screamed in indignation while his jade-green eyes shook with agony. Gokudera knew he was being childish at this point but he didn't really care; he just wanted to get away from Yamamoto.
It was because of the pain he saw in his lover's troubled eyes that Yamamoto knew that he was just lashing out in anger. "Calm down, Gokudera." The taller teen spoke soothingly. "I understand why you would be upset about not getting the chance to meet your mother. Believe me, if we could of switched places, I would have in a heartbeat but it was something completely out of our control."
Gokudera just scoffed and looked away, his fist clenching and un-clenching at his sides like he wanted to punch something. Despite his put-off attitude, Yamamoto could see the slight change in his lover's behavior. Even though Gokudera still seemed violent, he had calmed down somewhat.
"Here, how about you open your present?" Yamamoto offered in his still soothing voice as he held the little wrapped box out for Gokudera to take. "You're mother really wanted you to have it and I…I thought a memento from your mother would be a perfect gift—"
"Perfect my ass, you bastard!" Gokudera rudely interrupted with a shout, his eyes alit with hurt and anger as he glared into Yamamoto's eyes. "You knew where that ring came from! You knew! And you still gave it to me despite that? I could never be happy with a ring from my father, you fucking bastard!"
Yamamoto was shocked into silence for a moment as he received the heated glare from his lover. How had Gokudera known about the ring without opening the present? Had his mother mentioned it in the letter? Assuming that this was the case, Yamamoto wondered if Gokudera had actually read the whole letter or not. He found it hard to believe that Kazumi would have only written about something that she knew her son wouldn't have been too happy to read.
"Gokudera, I…" Yamamoto started unsurely, his hazel eyes filled with slight shame at his boyfriend's accusation. "I knew that there was a possibility that you would be upset by the ring because of your father but…" The raven-haired teen's voice grew more confident as his eyes shone with new determination. "Even though this ring was given to your mother by your father, it shouldn't matter!" Gokudera verbally scoffed at this, but Yamamoto pressed on, desperate to get his point across. "This gift is something from both your mother and me and it symbolizes something that we truly believe in. It's something that we wanted to share with you, Gokudera! That and the letter! Did you even read all of it?"
"What does it matter if I read the entire letter or not?" Gokudera shot back, the anger in his voice never waning despite Yamamoto's persuasive argument. The ring still came from his father so he still wanted nothing to do with it and he felt offended that Yamamoto would just brush that off like it was nothing! That last thought only fueled the silver-haired teen's rage more as he screamed, "I'm not going to read that letter. I'm not going to accept your stupid-fucking gift, and do you know what? I was never going to accept it anyway, no matter what fucking present you gave me! I never wanted to accept a present from you tonight and I didn't even plan on giving you one back!"
Yamamoto hadn't been prepared for those words. It felt as if someone had just run him through with a sword. So Gokudera hadn't bought a gift for him like he had feared. What did that mean for them now? Why hadn't Gokudera planned on accepting a Christmas present from him? Yamamoto had a very ominous feeling as to why Gokudera was acting the way he was, the way he had been acting for months, but the black-haired teen didn't want to believe it. He refused to accept the obvious answer to those questions.
With a heavy and hesitant heart, the raven-haired teen quietly asked, "Why?" despite knowing what the answer would be.
Gokudera ignored the guilt he felt upon seeing how broken the other teen looked, in fact, he was so far gone in his anger that Yamamoto's question only irritated him more because of how stupid it was. Wasn't the answer obvious? "Are you fucking stupid?" The silver-haired teen screamed out in fury, the question only fueling the turmoil he felt within himself. "Wait, don't answer that. That was a redundant question. I didn't think you would have been this dense and that you would have figured it out already! Isn't obvious that I don't want to be with you anymore? Why do you think I let us have that misunderstanding in the first place, idiot? I certainly didn't do it for shits and giggles!"
With every word that left the older teen's mouth, Yamamoto felt as if someone was taking a hammer and slamming it against the hilt of the metaphorical sword driven into his gut. This couldn't be happening. This didn't make any sense! Gokudera and him had been so happy together this past year and, despite the past couple of months where the smaller teen had been growing distant, Gokudera had still acted like he cared for him. So why would he want to break up?
As he witnessed the taller teen's eyes darken in confusion and pain, Gokudera couldn't bear to look at him anymore. Even though he was pissed off like nothing else, he still felt the twinge of guilt that accompanied the knowledge that he was the one hurting the other. Thinking that he said what needed to be said, the silver-haired teen turned to leave Yamamoto and their relationship behind for good but, just as he took a step to leave, he felt two strong hands grab onto his forearms.
"Please," Yamamoto's voice wavered out in agony, causing the silver-haired teen's raging blood to finally run cold. "Don't go. Please. We can talk things out, Gokudera. I don't know why you want to break up with me but if it's something I did, tell me! I'll do anything! We can fix this if you just talk to me and explain, so please don't leave! We can figure things out!"
With anger no longer rushing through his veins, all Gokudera was left with was the agony of his decision and the knowledge that he was going to hurt his companion significantly. "There's nothing to figure out." The storm guardian whispered out hoarsely as he found himself choking on his words. "Our relationship was doomed from the start. We're both men, Yamamoto. This relationship isn't natural and if other mafia families or the people within the Vongola family found out about it, we would only bring shame to the Vongola name and to the Tenth."
Gokudera could feel Yamamoto's hold tighten around his arms and hear how heavy the other's breathing had become, like the taller boy was trying to control himself from screaming or breaking down then and there. The silver-haired teen tried not to think about how he was just inches away from being held completely against the taller teen's chest or how close the other boy's face was as he hovered over his shoulder, his warm breath continuously hitting his ear.
He tried not to think about how this would be the last time he would feel Yamamoto's touch.
Despite feeling like something was squeezing his throat shut, Gokudera went on to finish his explanation. "There is also the complication with family alliances, Yamamoto. Sometimes, the only way for an alliance to succeed is to bind the families through marriage. The only people that the dons of the other families would accept are people within the other boss's inner circle. That means that we guardians would have no choice but to accept marriage proposals from other families."
There was a heavy silence for a moment before Yamamoto replied in a shaky, yet hopeful voice. "N-No one has to know about us, Gokudera. We can still keep this a secret but…maybe we could tell Tsuna? If he knew about us, there's no way he would force us to get married to people we don't even know! I'm positive he wouldn't let that happen even if he didn't know about our relationship!" The taller teen's voice grew more in confidence as he held onto the smaller boy in front of him, despite feeling Gokudera stiffen in his hold. "So please, there's no need to run away from this; we can make this work! Even your mother found out about us somehow and she approved of us Gokudera, she approved…"
The Italian bomber tensed even more in his lover's hold at the mention of his mother. Did she really? Gokudera quickly shook his head to clear his thoughts, his anger returning. Yamamoto was just trying to distract him from the bigger picture. As much as he loved the idea of…of his mother approving of them, that didn't matter anymore. The future was against them! "You know that when it comes down to it," The shorter teen started out gruffly, his voice overcome with irritation again as he repeated himself. "If there is no other choice in making a family alliance but to marry the guardians off, the Tenth would have no choice in the matter despite his own personal feelings. Refusing a marriage proposal could lead to a war between the families. This is reality, Yamamoto, not a fairy tale. Everything doesn't work out the way you want it to just because you want it that way!"
It was here that Gokudera tried to leave, tried to struggle out of Yamamoto's hold, but the taller teen held on desperately, unwilling to let go. "Please wait, Gokudera!" The taller teen begged. "I know that things are going to become more difficult in the future and everything isn't guaranteed but isn't it because of that that we can stay together? You don't know if we will have to be married off and you don't know if people will find out—"
"But we don't know if it won't happen either!" Gokudera yelled in fury, upset that Yamamoto was refusing to understand. "It's better for both of us to separate now in order to save tension and heartache later because there is a high probability that we will be found out and that we will have to accept marriage proposals! Why can't you see that?"
There was a stagnant pause as the silver-haired teen's words sunk in before Yamamoto stiffly replied, "And why can't you see that you don't want things to end between us?"
Gokudera suppressed a shudder at the seriousness in Yamamoto's tone. "Che! Stop putting words in my mouth, Baseball Idiot!" The fed-up storm guardian shouted, still refusing to turn around and meet Yamamoto's eyes. "I don't want to be with you anymore!"
"Yes, you do."
"N-No, I don't!" Gokudera wavered out in an almost pathetic voice, the smaller teen chastising himself for sounding so weak.
Yamamoto frowned at his lover's denial to the obvious, his grip on the others forearms relaxing somewhat. "But…you're crying, Gokudera."
"N-No I-I'm n-not!" The smaller teen barely choked out in denial, despite feeling the tears pooling around his eyes.
"I can see them even from this angle, Gokudera." Yamamoto let out softly as he stole himself to do something that he had been afraid to do for a while now. He gently turned Gokudera around to face him, his companion's eyes widening in shock at his change in position as tears fell freely down his cheeks. Taking his hands away from Gokudera's arms, Yamamoto brought them up to cup his lover's face, his touch comforting as he wiped the other's tears away with his thumbs. Gathering his courage, Yamamoto prepared to say what he had wanted to say to his lover for the longest time now but hadn't because he had feared the other's reaction. He knew Gokudera wouldn't be too happy to hear what he was about to say but there seemed no better time to say it then now.
"I love you, Gokudera."
The silver-haired teen's breath hitched as those words reached his ears, his tears falling faster and his heart clenching painfully in his chest as the words repeated themselves over and over again in his head. The same words that had gone unspoken between them for years, the ones he really wanted to hear but feared of hearing the most.
He couldn't do this. It was too much.
Feeling as if he was ripping his own heart out from his chest, Gokudera tore himself away from Yamamoto's searing touch as his jade-green eyes shook with panic. This couldn't be happening. He couldn't say those words back, not when they were destined to be torn apart. "No…" The silver-haired teen barely spoke out in a whisper as he shook his head disbelievingly, his voice becoming louder with every word that left his mouth. "No! I-I don't—you can't—I…Fuck! Damn it to fucking hell, Yamamoto!"
Yamamoto's eyes clouded in hurt and apprehension again as he witnessed his lover fist his silver hair in agitation, a wild look overtaking his eyes as whatever that had been keeping him in check before finally broke. Desperate to comfort the other, Yamamoto reached out a hesitant hand as he whispered the other teen's name in worry.
Seeing the outstretched hand coming towards him, Gokudera wildly swatted it away. "No! Stay the fuck away from me!" The silver-haired teen screamed in rage and desperation as his whole body shook with despair. Why did Yamamoto have to tell him that now? Why? "I hate you! I despise you! I want nothing to do with you anymore! Go fuck yourself or jump of a cliff or whatever, I don't care! Just get out of my life and leave me alone!"
And with that, Gokudera turned tail and ran like his life depended on it, blinded by his tears and rage as he stumbled his way through the darkened streets. He didn't know his destination and he didn't care, all he knew was that he never wanted to set foot near Yamamoto again if he could help it.
He never wanted to feel this way towards someone else ever again.
Yamamoto could only stare after Gokudera in shock as the silver-haired teen vanished into the night. The last words that Gokudera had spoken to him repeated themselves over and over again in his head, and each time they did, Yamamoto would feel his heart constrict even more painfully than it did the last. He honestly wondered if his heart was just going to burst and leave him there to die in his agony. The dark-haired teen kept telling himself that Gokudera was just angry and upset and being stubborn like he usually was but then he remembered the wild and gut-wrenching look in the other's eyes and knew that he had been serious, despite his anger.
Gokudera was through with him.
The raven-haired teen didn't know how long he stood there staring out into the darkened streets but before he knew it, he heard someone running out to him from the house, calling out his name.
"Yamamoto! Is everything alright? Everyone heard shouting!" Tsuna exclaimed in a rush as he ran up and stopped behind Yamamoto, his big, brown, eyes overcome with fear and worry.
At first, Yamamoto didn't respond as he continued to keep his back turned towards Tsuna. It was hard to find his voice given the situation but when he did, it came out as more of a croak, like his throat was parched and raw. "I-I'm sorry, Tsuna. I…I don't feel too good. I think I'm going to head home. Thank you for your present and for the party."
As Yamamoto finally turned towards Tsuna, he didn't look the smaller teen in the eye as he went and retrieved the letter and present from Gokudera's mother that he had left on the ground when he had ran to stop Gokudera from leaving earlier. As he retrieved the gifts and started walking away, he heard Tsuna call out to him again, asking where Gokudera had gone.
Yamamoto's silence was answer enough as he headed out into the darkened streets of Namimori, his head hung low and his eyes taking in nothing as he walked home in shock. The taller teen had felt despair before but never like this, like his very life was being sucked out of him with every step he took.
It was over. It was all over.
A/N: Ok, first off guys I'm really, really, sorry! You have no idea how badly I was guilt tripping when all of you reviewed about how excited you were to see Gokudera's reaction to the gift! But this whole story has been planned out since the beginning and this is what was supposed to happen. Don't worry though; there are four more chapters to come after this! I just hope that the emotions in this chapter came out right and that it wasn't too overdramatic.
Now, who feels like lifting their spirits with a cute story? *gets objects thrown angrily at her head*
8059 Sims Story: Ok, where we last left off, Yamamoto and Gokudera had just got themselves a baby! While they raised their son, Yamamoto and Gokudera would switch back and forth between taking days off to care for him instead of hiring a nanny to do the job for them. That way, both of them got to spend equal amounts of time with Yoshi! Eventually, after two or three days, Yoshi grew from an infant to a toddler so I could finally see what he looked like! I swear he looked like a mix between Yama and Goku. He had short, stumpy, black hair like Yama and pale skin and green eyes like Goku. Even Yoshi's personality was a mixture between them! He was active and outgoing like Yama, but neat and slightly on the grouchy side like Goku.
And he was so adorable~!
As Yamamoto and Gokudera took turns taking care of him as a toddler, Yamamoto would usually join Yoshi when he played with his tinker toys and blocks without me telling him to do so. Yamamoto also loved to teach Yoshi how to walk and it was through this and the instance above that I noticed that Yoshi was a quick learner both instinctively like his daddy (Yama) and intellectually like his papa (Goku). Goku loved to give Yoshi baths and was also insistent on teaching him how to talk. Gokudera loved having conversations with little Yoshi whenever he got the chance and most of the time, Goku would talk about things he saw in the telescope they had outside XD. When Yama talked to Yoshi, it was usually about anything and everything. My Yamamoto talks like a gabbing school girl XD.
Now this next part was hilarious.
I bought this stuffed teddy bear for Yoshi but he hardly ever played with it. Yamamoto liked to play with it though and would usually grab the bear and try to talk through it to Yoshi to interact with him. Yama looked so silly when he did this, it always cracked me up but that's not the funny part. My sims were all doing good so I let them move around freely for a while except for Gokudera, who I sent out to get the mail and pay the bills. I quickly switched back to see if Yoshi was up to anything and noticed that Yama had grabbed the teddy bear again. Since I was Yoshi I just decided to wait for Yama to approach me but he never did. Curious, I made Yoshi follow his dad out into the front yard where I saw Yamamoto talking through the bear to Gokudera.
I just about died from the laughter. XD
But wait! There's more!
At this point, Gokudera was laughing at Yamamoto for being a complete idiot, albeit an adorable one (I totally agreed!). Then, Yamamoto put the teddy bear down and turned towards Gokudera, meaning that they were going to interact some more. I was totally surprised when I saw Gokudera initiate a heavy make out session with Yamamoto in the front yard with a teddy bear and their son as their only witnesses. I was so shocked that I covered Yoshi's eyes with my hand. XD He didn't need to see that yet (Later on, that little bugger crawled in when they were having sex and tried to get Yamamoto's attention. I guess my hand covering didn't do anything to save Yoshi's innocence XD)
But seriously, who knew that Gokudera could get turned on by Yamamoto being stupid with a teddy bear? XD I seriously want to see someone write about that!
Well, I hope that raised your guys' spirits! Thanks for reading and I hope to update by the middle of the month at the most!