Cas sighed and tried to look out the window. After a few hundred more miles on the road, they were almost there. All those people, the music, it was exciting.
He had to remind himself to stop constantly glancing at Dean, even with as handsome as he was.
He thought back to the incident at the diner, the feeling he felt when Dean's fingers brushed his. It was everything he hoped for and more.
Cas glanced behind him. Gabriel and Sam were asleep, leaning on each other. Cas smiled wistfully to himself. Why couldn't he and Dean be that close?
He listened to Janis Joplin sing on the radio. "Come on, come on, take another little piece of my heart now, baby," she wailed.
How appropriate. Go ahead, Dean, take another piece of my heart, in fact, it's yours, he thought.
He leaned back in his seat, eyes squeezed shut, praying for sleep.
"Cas, man, you okay?" asked Dean, startling Castiel. He sat up, hoping Dean didn't see him flinch.
"Yeah, man, I'm okay. Just thinking." Which wasn't far from the truth.
"You've been quiet. Anything in particular you want to talk about?" asked Dean, careful not to wake the others.
Yes, yes, Oh God, Dean. There's so much I want to tell you, but I can't. I just can't, he thought.
Castiel audibly exhaled. He couldn't lay this kind of shit on Dean, not when the others were around.
"I'm okay. I'm going to try to sleep," said Cas, hoping Dean couldn't hear the waver in his voice.
"Okay, that sounds like a good idea, we don't have much further to go. Get some rest," said Dean turning his attention back to the road.
Cas leaned back in his seat once again, shutting his eyes. He told himself to think of pleasant things, to listen to the music on the radio.
Soon he drifted off. He dreamt of Dean. They were lovers, a theme of any other dream he had about Dean, but this one was different.
They were sitting near a lake, one that he had never seen before. A campfire crackled and popped behind them. Castiel lay on the ground near Dean with his head in his lap. He looked up at his dream lover, freckled face smiling and emerald eyes shining.
"Hey there, handsome," dream Dean said. He brushed long dark locks out of Cas's eyes. Cas enjoyed just "being" there with Dean, as if he really knew he was dreaming. A summer sunset dappled light across the water in front of them.
"You mean more to me than anything, Cas," Dean said, gently stroking his face. Cas inhaled at the phantom touch. "I love you, Cas," said Dean, all happiness and smiles.
"I love you too, Dean," said Cas.
"What was that, Cas?" Cas heard a voice ask. He felt someone nudging him awake. He opened his eyes to Dean, staring at him incredulously, almost unable to keep his eyes on the road.
Oh no, oh shit, he thought.
Dean had heard him.