Love Hurts

A/N: Sorry for the long wait for this chapter, I was in a place where, although the views are pretty spectacular, the internet connection was the complete opposite. Thanks again to Virgil… I mean BillAtWork, whose assistance has been greatly appreciated, and completely necessary. Sorry again and I hope you enjoy.

The courtyard was perfect; the twinkle lights Chuck had commandeered from Ellie's Christmas box and had draped carefully around the courtyard flora glinted serenely off of the water, cascading down the fountain whilst adding its own mesmerising symphony to still evening air.

Beside the fountain, Chuck had set up a small table, intimate, with a candle and a rose in the centre, the table wear set impeccably in front of the two opposite chairs. Another classic from the one and only Roan Montgomery.

Wearing beige dress slacks and a blue button down shirt - his ever faithful Chuck Taylors completing the ensemble - Chuck surveyed his efforts, rearranging the multitude of pillar candles surrounding the edge of the fountain, in an effort to make sure nothing was out of place for when Sarah arrived.

'Ten minutes to go… This has got to be perfect', Chuck told himself, as he walked back into the kitchen to check on his world famous pepperoni chicken, 'nothing can go wrong.'

Sarah nibbled the nails on her right hand, one hand on the wheel, as she crawled down the streets of LA in her beloved Porsche, heading towards Echo Park, towards Chuck. She puffed out her cheeks, placing her hand, now with considerably shorter nails, back on the steering wheel.

'Why am I so nervous?' Sarah berated herself.

She'd been on hundreds of dates, most as a cover or part of a CIA operation and in much more dangerous situations than this, but there are many different kinds of danger. Sarah Walker was a good friend of the mortal; put your life on the line sort of danger. Dangers to the heart… Well, that was a different matter completely.

Turning left at the intersection, Chuck's apartment building slid into view, the Mediterranean style complex a perfect replica of the one she'd kept in her locked away in her mind's eye.

Pulling up opposite the entrance to the complex, the engine still running, Sarah gathered herself for the evening to come.

'It would be so easy to just leave. Go, never look back', Sarah thought, admonishment filling her body as soon as the thought was aired.

She'd tried that before, and the truth was, she had looked back. It was as if she was Lot's wife, watching as Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed by fire and brimstone, after explicit instruction not to. She knew she shouldn't, but she couldn't help herself, even if it led to her own destruction.

Plus, she'd promised herself she would give this date her all, for Chuck.

Checking her hair and make-up in the rear view mirror for one last time, Sarah shut off the engine, and disembarked from the safety of her car.

'Well…' Sarah thought, taking in a deep breath whilst gently closing the door of her Porsche behind her.

'Here goes nothing…'

Hearing a car door close just outside the courtyard through the open window, Chuck froze. This was it, show time.

Brushing down the front of slacks whilst clumsily running a sweaty, shaking hand through his hair to tame the animals, Chuck marched to the door, flinging it open to see his angel gliding, as if on water, towards the courtyard entrance.

She was stunning. If he died, and went to heaven, he was sure it would look exactly like this, and if he didn't start breathing soon, it wouldn't be long until he found out.

Her golden hair flowing around her shoulders only accentuated her angelic aura with her silky blue, figure fitted dress, simple yet elegant, echoing those smouldering eyes Chuck had always found mesmerising.

Spluttering the air back into his lungs, Chuck let a smile creep onto his face. This was real, and she was here. He'd had his doubts, but he'd quashed them quickly. She was Sarah Walker, she'd protected, putting her life on the line for the better part of two years and she'd never let him… down…

Shaking the mood killing thoughts from his head, Chuck gently closed the door of the apartment behind him, his eyes never leaving Sarah's approaching form as he put one foot in front of the other to meet her halfway across the courtyard.

Standing beside the fountain, the location of many of their relationship's defining moments; Chuck got a sense of déjà vu, but soon shrugged it off to let out a shaky breath.

"Sarah…" Chuck breathed, his voice no more than a whisper, "I'm glad you could make it…"

The distance between them was painful. Not as close as he would have liked, yet not far enough apart to be purely platonic – to be easy. The sudden wave of tension between them crashed over the once serene atmosphere like a storm surge in gale force winds.

'What do I do', Chuck asked himself, panic rising from the pit of his stomach, 'do I give her a peck on the cheek? Or is that too forward? Do I simply show her to the table? Or is that too distant?' The conundrum Chuck was facing becoming more and more important, and panicking per second.

'A hug', Chuck decided, 'suitably friendly, without being too forward.'

Gradually leaning forwards to capture her in a gentle, if slightly awkward embrace, Sarah's smooth hair caressing his cheek, Chuck felt a tingle in his chest he'd not felt for a long time. It felt like coming home.

"Me too", Sarah replied just as softly, her jaw moving gently over Chuck's shoulder; the awkwardness of the situation evaporating into the ether as rapidly as it had formed.

They stood, revelling in each other's touch, for what felt like mere seconds or eternity all at the same time. Breathing in the familiar grapefruit scent of her hair, one Chuck had long ago associated with Sarah; he was drawn from his musings by an incessant beeping.

'The chicken', Chuck deduced, 'it must be the chicken.'

Reluctantly breaking the embrace, and immediately feeling cold for it, Chuck showed Sarah to a seat at his perfectly laid table, tucking the chair in gently beneath her as she sat.

"That would be dinner", Chuck explained as he made his way backward to the apartment, and the dinner.

"Made by none other than yours truly." Chuck smirked as he turned the door knob, "It's my world famous Pepperoni Chicken, guaranteed to astound. You'll love it."

As Chuck disappeared behind the door, leaving Sarah sitting in the candlelight, he never heard her murmur:

"I already do, Chuck… I already do…"

Sarah was pleasantly surprised by Chuck's apparent prowess in the kitchen. She was tempted to ask whether he'd had any guidance from a certain sister of his, but decided against it. Besides, she didn't really know how Ellie felt about her after she'd upped and left, and if Ellie did have anything to do with the dinner, it would probably have been a bit more taxing to prepare than Pepperoni Chicken – but definitely less Chuck. The chicken was succulent, whilst the steamed vegetables Chuck had prepared as a side were perfectly al dente, and just the way Sarah liked it.

She hadn't felt so secure for a long time. Yes, everybody seemed to go back to Morocco as the point in her life when things started to slip, but to be honest, there was a specific place and time that Sarah could look back on and clearly identify as the defining moment, the point at which she knew beyond a doubt that she had lost something. It was not the place she'd expected, and had come entirely out of the blue, but it came nonetheless.

'I suppose all those evenings spending Friday nights at dinner with Chuck, Ellie and Devon… and of course Morgan gave me a sense of place, of purpose, of being part of a family…' Sarah thought, letting her mind wander back to a place it hadn't been since the early months after her departure from L.A.

Sarah sat, her seat facing all points of egress from the small, familiar Italian restaurant just west of London's Charing Cross station. It was one of her favourite haunts during her visits to the English capital. She'd ordered the seafood linguine, the capers adding a perfectly salty seasoning to the dish that Sarah thought was ideally reminiscent homage to the original home of the dishes main attraction.

In the distance, the lights of Canary Wharf twinkled upon the serene waters of the Thames estuary, the water bobbing lightly as the tide withdrew.

But as beautiful as the scenery was, and how good the food was, Sarah was still alone. A table for two, seating just one. And at that moment, Sarah felt the uninvited and unfamiliar pain in her chest of loss. It was something that she had never truly experienced before, not when her dad got taken in by the feds, not when she thought Bryce was dead.

Suddenly her gourmet meal seemed less than appetising. The flavours that were once so sweet and delectable on her palate becoming bitter and burnt. Because nothing could erase the taste of her failure, of what her body was telling her it needed. Nothing, of course, except perhaps the cooking of a certain super nerd's awesome sister.

Sarah was swiftly brought from her reverie by the sound of breaking glass from the seat opposite her. There sat Chuck, a sheepish look on his face, holding a wine glass in shaky, pale hands, which sported a newly acquired mouth shaped rim.

"Oh my God!" Sarah exclaimed, her immediate reaction to reach over to Chuck to make sure he was OK only thwarted by the large pillar candle that separated the dining couple. "Chuck? Chuck are you Okay? Oh my God!"

"NmMm Okay", Chuck mumbled whilst extricating a frighteningly large chunk of what was wine glass from his now empty mouth, his cheeks resembling more and more a fire truck by the second.

"Just a little embarrassed", Chuck chuckled placing the offending piece of glass on the napkin beside his plate. "Bet you've never had anyone swallow glass for you on a date before…"

Sarah had to laugh. He'd done it again. All the tension, the panic, that was, just a second ago, weighing on her shoulders as if the world was upon them, had simply vanished. Just one quip and Chuck had made everything alright again.

'Damn it', Sarah thought, 'I'm getting in too deep already.'

"So…" Chuck began tentatively, moving the topic of conversation swiftly past his culinary faux pas, "what do you think of the chicken?"

Sarah sat, cold and alone at a table that only minutes before felt vibrant and full of life. She supposed that was all Chuck's doing, and that she was simply sitting, basking in the atmosphere, the pointless – because silence was never awkward with him -, yet entertaining conversation, an inferior 'made-in-China' replica of the woman she once was.

Sarah shook her head. She was sure as hell not going to let this train of thought continue down its inevitable dark and twisted path. She knew all too well where that led, and it wasn't pretty.

Pulling herself from her chair, Sarah paused to take in the spectacle that was the courtyard. She had previously been too intent upon Chuck, his words, the way he ate, the way he seemed to see so deep into her soul with every look it scared her. But now that he was gone, Sarah let herself be awed at the scale, and the perfection Chuck had prepared especially for her. The way he had draped the twinkle lights just so over the wildlife, the way in which the flicker of the candles echoed on the fountain's waters adding their subtle perfume into the intoxicating air, the gardenias skilfully hidden, yet obviously placed throughout the courtyard.

Sarah found her feet pulling her towards the door that she had been through many times, under many guises – spy, guardian, girlfriend, burglar… It was almost like she was drawn to it, inexplicably, yet with surprising strength and her mind was powerless to halt the rhythmic stepping of her feet, or heart.

Before she realised it, her possessed legs had carried her to the kitchen, the muscles in Chuck's back working strangely erotically to Sarah's eye as he dried the plates from dinner.

It was obvious that he was oblivious to his company; his small, delicate humming as he set the now dry plate on the kitchen worktop was testament to that. Keeping her element of surprise, Sarah silently sidled up behind Chuck, her wet lips mere centimetres from his ear.

'This is what he wants', Sarah told herself, 'after all that I've done to him, this is the least that he deserves.'

'Besides, it can't hurt that this is what I want too. Can it..?'

Releasing a warm breath into Chuck's ear, causing him to tense and straighten at the sensation, Sarah deliberately slowly, with a hint of lust peppering her voice whispered,

"That was the best meal I've had in two years, Chuck", her voice lingering over that final syllable, her hands finding their way down into the back pockets of Chuck's slacks.

"I… uh…", Chuck stammered, extricating Sarah's hands from his slacks by turning, only to be faced with hooded black orbs in place of the usual sapphire.

"Well… the pepperoni…"

Suddenly, her lips were upon his, pressed together with such fervour that Chuck wasn't sure he hadn't broken a tooth, her teeth nipping sensually at his lips when her tongue was denied the entrance it so desperately craved. All the while, Sarah's fingers dextrously worked the buttons of his shirt open, whilst Chuck, a statue, was still attempting to process this swift turn of events.

"Wait.", Chuck managed, only just pulling away from the kiss, his lips tingling pleasantly after Sarah's ministrations.

"Sarah, what are you doing?"

Her fingers were still desperately trying to undo the shirt that was now half open, her eyes intent on her task.

"If you have to ask", Sarah said, her voice mimicking the lust in her eyes whilst her hands moved underneath his now open shirt and ghosted their way around his back.

"I must be doing it wrong." Sarah finished, her words punctuated with wet, sensual kisses to his chest and neck that caused Chuck's eyes to flutter.

"Besides, I just realised something of extreme import", Sarah added, her hands wandering all over his chest, his back, his stomach, but never leaving his skin.

"Oh", Chuck replied breathlessly, his hands coming to rest on Sarah's hips almost instinctively.

"Mmhmm", Sarah murmured through a kiss.

"This is our third first date. And everyone knows what happens on a third date", Sarah almost moaned, her lips once again ever so delicately tracing Chuck's ear.

"Yeah?", Chuck replied, his hands gently rubbing Sarah's sides autonomously, his self-control rapidly fading into the sunset.

"Wait.", Chuck repeated, more forcefully this time, causing Sarah to momentarily release Chuck from her tantalising enchantment.

"Come on, Sarah. Do you really want to do it like this?", Chuck gestured to their position in the kitchen, Chuck's legs digging firmly into the kitchen worktop, whilst Sarah appeared to be using Chuck's body as a walking aid.

"A quickie standing in the middle of the kitchen would hardly do our first time justice…"

"I was only going to start in the kitchen", Sarah replied innocently, her desire, seasoned with mischief, barely disguised behind her obsidian eyes.

"Then I was thinking the bedroom… then the couch… and the bath…"

"Screw a quickie", Sarah chuckled at her choice of words, "I was planning to stay the whole night."

Chuck gulped. The bigger, less gentlemanly part of him was telling him to go for it, take her right there where she stood. It's what she wants, it argued, directing his eyes into hers before lowering them to her slightly parted lips.

'Don't do it', a small voice was urging him, barely audible over the shouts of hormones.

'It may be what you want now, but is it what you need? What about later?'

"Yeah.", Chuck began hesitantly, "but what about a lifetime?", Chuck finished and began buttoning up his shirt.

'If the better side of me won out', Chuck asked himself, a feeling of guilt and emptiness overcoming him, 'then why does it feel so bad?'

Sarah slumped her head. That had stung. Lifetimes were something that she had never calculated in. In fact, she had purposely avoided doing that very thing, being the daughter of a conman, then a spy, didn't really afford you the luxury of thinking much beyond the next day or week, let alone a whole lifetime.

Perhaps the sting was so strong, so potent, because Chuck had hit the nail right on the head. Or maybe it was just the fact that it was Chuck who had spelt it out for her. Nethertheless, he was right. She was acting out of sorrow, for the pain she had caused him and for the two years in which she had practically given up on life and in the end, going about things in the way she was, would only end up with them both on the skinny end of a bad bet.

And there were definitely things worse than contemplating spending a lifetime with Chuck Bartowski.

'In fact', She thought, a moment of excitement coursing through her veins, 'I don't think there'd be much better.'

"Come on", Chuck said, his voice seemingly full of the security and resolve that Sarah felt she was so desperately lacking.

"I've got something extra-special planned. We've got plenty of time."

Chuck was pleased. In fact, he was more than pleased – over the moon would probably best describe his mood at this particular moment, despite all that had, or rather, hadn't occurred earlier. He'd had his reservations about this part of the date, but he'd wanted to show Sarah that he was still the same guy that she had agreed to go on a second first date with all those years ago, when they thought the intersect was soon going to become a distant memory.

Oh how wrong they were.

But Sarah seemed to be enjoying herself. Okay, she wasn't the greatest player of Guitar Shredder he'd ever seen, Lazlo blew everyone out of the water in that respect, but she wasn't half bad.

'Heh', Chuck laughed internally, remembering the tense events that day below the pier. 'He almost literally blew everyone out of the water.'

Here she was, his super spy guardian angel, mushing the buttons on the guitar controller, tongue poking ever so slightly out from between her soft, voluptuous lips whilst her foot attempted to keep time with her strumming.

A shriek of joy, followed swiftly by an Ellie-esque bear hug from the usually reserved blonde enigma, caused a grin so big that he thought his jaw would break, to spread instantly across Chuck's face. He was relieved that his wild card plan to take Sarah to the arcade had paid off – with interest – but in all honesty, he was more relieved to see her having fun and letting her hair down per se. From the things he'd overheard, he wasn't sure she'd ever let him see that side of her again.

He was definitely glad she did.

"Oh my God!", Sarah exclaimed, a look of pure joy evident on her features as she pulled away from Chuck. "I never realised that a video game could be so entertaining, or challenging for that matter!"

Chuck's breath hitched in his throat. Sarah's hands were currently rubbing themselves up and down the side of his chest, completely absentmindedly, he was sure, but nonetheless got the juices flowing.

"Well", Chuck gulped, his voice slightly higher than he would have liked it.

"I have tried to tell you like a million times, but naeoiu…" Chuck drawled, ducking away from the arm of one Sarah Walker, rapidly approaching on an intercept course to swat his right arm, causing Chuck to laugh heartily.

"Catch me if you can, slowpoke!", Chuck jibed, his voice filled with laughter as he sped off up the pier and away from Sarah's seeking arms.

"Oh, you're on, mister!", Sarah shouted in retort, her sapphire eyes twinkling mischievously in the evening light, as she took off after her fleeing quarry as a lioness would a lamb.

As Chuck felt his lungs start to burn, after which was by anybody's judgement a pathetic distance, he searched his memories for a time when he felt this happy, this care free. Yeah, there were his game nights with Morgan, but that was different, less potent, more ordinary. He had to go all the way back to…

"Oof", Chuck grunted, the last of the remaining air being punched out of his lungs by an unknown force as his face began rapidly closing in on the wooden pier.

'Damn it', was the last thought to enter Chuck's mind before his face planted itself firmly into the floor of the pier.

"Shit, shit", a familiar, heavenly voice directly above him repeated profusely. "Chuck, are you okay? Shit."

"Aaargh", was all that Chuck could initially manage, a sudden throbbing in his nose robbing him of words.

"NmMm Okay", he mumbled, a feeling of déjà vu overcoming him.

Slowly planting his feet underneath him, both hands providing support on either side of his body, Chuck straightened, freeing his hands to rub his now sore nose.

"What the frak was that?", Chuck exclaimed as he turned to Sarah, her face a strange shade of crimson, features distorting into worry.

"Shit", Sarah repeated for what seemed to be the hundredth time, serving a dual purpose of distraction. Her palm reaching out to cup his cheek, Sarah's soft hand manipulated Chuck's head back and forth, garnering her with a better view of his now elephant like nose.

"Wha? What is it?" Chuck panicked, the feeling of Sarah's hand placed so gently on his face being momentarily overwhelmed by his fear of the possibility of blood, or broken bones, or both.

"Chuck, your nose…", Sarah replied, her voice quiet as a mouse, holding in a giggle.

"I don't think it's broken, but… It certainly is… Uhh.. Swollen…"

Using a mirror on the side of an old, badly refurbished Tron arcade game to inspect his nose, Chuck screeched.

"Aaah! I look like a nerdy American version of Gerard Depardieu!"

Hearing Sarah chuckle at his statement, Chuck continued to inspect his growing nose in the mirror, turning his head from side to side, much in the fashion Sarah had earlier. Except this felt much colder, and much more painful. Turning his head to the left, Chuck's eyes met the reflection of a small ice-cream bar just up the pier.

'Jackpot', Chuck thought, the pain in his nose subsiding a little as he gently grabbed Sarah's smooth empty hand and made a beeline for the ice cream shack.

Sarah was happy. Happier than she had been in a long time, but then again, that wasn't that hard. Being with Chuck was like the last two years had been erased, it was almost dream like. The same went for

Walking down the beach with a rapidly decreasing pot of rocky road ice cream that Chuck had ordered for her without a second glance, in her hand, Sarah knew that once before in her life, this would have been perfect. The setting, the place, the man… But now? The same question she had been asking herself since Casey's visit earlier began to seemingly burn itself into the back of her retina.

'Do I deserve this? Who am I to inflict myself, damaged and broken, the person who left him once and broke him, upon him?

'Fuck what I deserve.' Sarah chastised silently, the sweetness of the rocky road suddenly turning bitter on her tongue. Stabbing her tiny spoon violently into the remaining ice cream, Sarah continued, 'Chuck definitely deserves better.'

A chill, not too different from the one Sarah abruptly felt coursing through her heart, ran through the now darkened night air, the moon and stars providing the only glimmer of light in a sea of ever expanding darkness, which Sarah would later attribute as the cause of her shivering.

Chuck, catching sight of Sarah's naked, goose pimpled arms hugged tight to her chest, quickly shrugged off his Buy More jacket, placing it gently over her shoulders without a moment's hesitation.

"Thank you Chuck", Sarah said, her voice soft and filled with gratitude.

Chuck just nodded, removed the pot of ice-cream from his nose and looked upon her with a smile before turning his face to his feet. Sarah obviously wasn't the only one with something on her mind. She just prayed that whatever Chuck was mulling over wasn't what she suspected it to be.

After what, to Sarah's mind, felt like an eternity of walking in silence, albeit comfortable, Sarah felt a warmth encompass her hand, felt long, gentle fingers intertwine themselves with hers, causing Sarah to release a breath that she hadn't realised she'd been holding.

Gesturing at a spot in the undisturbed sand, Chuck began to sit, knees in front of his body, whilst keeping his hand firmly within Sarah's. Sarah copied his actions, copying his position limb for limb, and stared into the vast ocean that made its way, never ending into the distance.

"I love you Sarah", Chuck stated, as if an undisputed fact.

Sarah whipped her head to face Chuck. Much like her conversation with Casey earlier, that wasn't what she'd expected to hear.

"And I'm in this for the long haul." Chuck continued, this obviously what he had been pondering on their moonlit walk.

"I don't want to drag you into something that you're not comfortable with, and that's why I have to tell you the truth."

Sarah didn't like the sound of this. She knew basically every line in the book of how to let someone down easy, heck, she'd even put a few in there herself, but that didn't make it any easier.

"I love you Sarah", Chuck repeated with the same resolve and determination as before, "I guess what I'm saying is, I want to wait until the time is right. Y'know, I suppose I'm holding out for love…"

BUT I DO LOVE YOU CHUCK, Sarah wanted to scream at the top of her lungs as her hand tightened its grip on his, apparently afraid that Chuck would simply disappear. But some invisible force stopped the words in her throat as soon as they were being formed.

And what did he mean by waiting until the right time? There was never a right time, especially with the life that she led; they only happened in films and television shows, never in real life. The thought made Sarah want to scream in frustration.

Confirming that he could indeed read her thoughts, Chuck smiled. "I don't need you to say it now, heck I don't want you to say it now, but someday, when you are ready, Sarah. I'll be here. I've waited two years… Okay, so for some of that I was perhaps a little bit angry at you, but it didn't take me long to realise what I really wanted..." Chuck paused in his speech to make a vital correction.

"What I needed. But if two years is what you needed to figure things out, I guess the anger, the hurt…" Chuck paused suddenly, realising the hole he had begun to dig himself into.

"Anyway… I guess it was worth it. Besides, I already know…"

Sarah's head shot up in surprise, her eyes wide as saucers, staring unblinking into the crashing waves. For a person whose career depended on deception and deceit, she obviously hadn't been doing that good of a job. She wanted to say something, anything, to deny everything Chuck had laid bare, but once again words evaded her, the Joker to her Batman. Besides, denying what Chuck had said wouldn't lead to deceiving anyone, it seemed, but herself.

Realising that Sarah wasn't going to say anything anytime soon, Chuck sighed.

"I know that you're probably hurting right now. I get it, I've been there. But y'know what?" Chuck said, his voice becoming more cheerful as the sentence progressed.

"That also means that I know the best thing to do about it. You'll see. Don't think of this as the end of a night, but the beginning of a day, in all its sun filled glory. Tomorrow's a new dawn, a new day. It's going to be okay… I promise."

"Just do me one thing", Chuck continued in a soothing voice, nudging Sarah with his shoulder as the sun began to peek over the sitting couple's shoulders, revealing the hidden diamonds shimmering gently on the quietly lapping sea for the first time.

"Trust me, Sarah…"

A/N 2: The irony of Jim Capaldi's Love Hurts shuffling onto my iPod while I wrote this chapter was not lost on me. Unfortunately it had the less than helpful effect of making me think about Jeffster… It's also where I got the chapter name from!

Anywho, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, Morocco will be revealed soon!

Any feedback is greatly appreciated, and don't forget to make sure you have a good day :)