Leonardo felt himself zoning out a little as minutes turned into an hour, and one hour turned into two. No one moved from the living area, not until Nate stirred on the second floor. Mike was swift to rise, but Rebecca was even faster to wave him back down.
"I'll grab Nate and bring him downstairs," she told him.
Mike sank back into a chair as if gravity itself were against him. Leonardo could only bring himself to gaze at his youngest brother for a few moments. Raphael was easier to watch. The red-masked turtle had an outwardly stoic expression, and Leonardo knew that he was only trying to put on a strong front for everyone else.
The same thing I'm trying to do, Leo thought ruefully.
He was drawn to the stairs as Rebecca descended with the blanket-wrapped baby turtle. The two-month-old was fussing shrilly, as if he'd been crying for a while.
"Mommy's so sorry, baby," Becky murmured soothingly, as she carried Nate toward the kitchen.
Mike got up to follow her, and Leonardo rose to stretch his legs too.
"Goin' somewhere, Fearless?" Raphael asked with a slight edge.
Leonardo recognized the glint in his brother's eyes, and shook his head. We'd all love to know who did this to Don. It would be even better if we could catch them. But it has to be daylight now, and that's not the ideal time for us to start hunting down more clues as to what happened.
Leonardo had another rush of regret that threatened to overwhelm him. He could have died on the surface all by himself, and I wouldn't have been any the wiser. We have to change the way we do things. This was too close of a call.
"Leo?" Raphael gave him a quizzical look. "What are you doing?"
The blue-masked turtle was suddenly aware that he'd never answered his brother's question. "I'm not going anywhere," he replied. "I just needed a break from sitting."
"You're probably going to want to sit for a little longer," Luke called from the doorway of the Lab.
Leonardo released a sharp breath as he turned. "Can you wait a second for Mike and Becky, Doc? I think they were only getting Nate a bottle."
Luke nodded, folding his arms across his chest in a gesture that almost indicated he was cold. Leonardo studied the man closely, attempting to get a read on his state of mind. Luke's expression was stone-hard so that Leo couldn't decipher anything, except that the man didn't want him to know what he was thinking.
Leonardo found himself wondering what Marcus and Caleb were doing in the Lab, while the rest of the room waited for Michelangelo and Becky to return. Leo looked away from an emotionless Luke, choosing to focus on the kitchen door instead. Mike was holding Nate when he came out, and looked surprised to find the room in silence with Luke standing by.
"Uh…Beck, c'mon in here. I think we're holding things up."
The pair quickly found their seats, and Leonardo fixed his attention on Luke once more. For an instant, he thought he saw the man falter. It was nothing more than a small shudder that coursed through Luke's frame, but it struck a loud chord of fear inside Leonardo.
"Talk to us, Doc," Leo requested.
The doctor surveyed the room wordlessly, and Leonardo noticed the way he hesitated longer on Jenna. The raven-haired woman was seated close to Victoria, and her mother already had an arm around her. The room became an incredibly uncomfortable place in the span of time that it took Luke to speak.
"I'm sorry to keep all of you in suspense," he said quietly. "I know it isn't easy to wait, but this part isn't easy either. If all of you will let me get through this without interruption, I'll answer your questions to the best of my ability at the end.
"Donatello suffered a depressed skull fracture, which in turn led to a dangerous rise in intracranial pressure and a herniation of the brain. What that basically means in English is that his brain started to shift because of the pressure, and um…This is where it gets hard. All that pressure inside his skull built up on his brain stem, causing one of those worst case scenarios that we always try to avoid.
"The procedure that we performed on Donny is considered kind of radical, but it was absolutely necessary in his case, due to the danger of the blood supply being completely cut off to his brain. We did a decompressive craniectomy, which involved removing a portion of his skull called the bone flap. It allows the brain more room to swell safely without causing further internal damage. We've preserved the bone flap so that we can replace it once his intracranial pressure is under control."
"Then it's not under control yet," Leo said, forgetting the need to wait to ask questions.
"No," Luke said simply. "It could be hours, or even days before his ICP is normal. Preventing damage to the brain stem is absolutely key. You could think of it as the brain's relay station with the body. The brain stem is in charge of vital control centers, ranging from respiratory and cardiovascular functions, to the operation of all our involuntary muscles.
"We already know that his brain stem has been affected, but I can't tell you how severely it's been damaged. It's very hard to predict the nature of this type of injury in the first week because of swelling and bruising. We won't know the true extent of how badly he was hurt until the swelling comes down. Then we'll be able to see any residual abnormalities."
"So what's going on right now?" Jenna asked. "Can I see him?"
"Yes, Jen, I just need a couple more minutes with you first." Luke steadied his voice with difficulty. "He's in critical condition, and Marc, Caleb and I will be alternating with him around the clock. Donatello is on full life support, and we aren't receiving any reactivity from his end."
"Reactivity?" Becky repeated. "What does that mean? Is he in a coma?"
Luke nodded shakily, and Leonardo picked up the subtle signal of the man weakening.
"It's still a waiting game then?" Raphael asked. "Nothing to do but sit back until he starts getting better?"
Luke took a very deep breath. "We're not sure. He might get better over the next couple of days, or he could deteriorate further. Some contusions of the brain continue spreading once they've started."
"You think he could get worse?" Mike asked flatly.
"It's a possibility," Luke said the most quietly yet.
Jenna slowly got to her feet. "Doc, how much do you know that you're not telling us?"
"Jenna, it's not that sim—" he started.
"I don't need anyone to lead me on or sugar coat things, Luke. I need the facts, so I can be prepared either way." Jenna's voice broke up as she finished, but she fought for control. "You've got to reach deep inside yourself and pretend I'm some other faceless patient so you can give me real answers."
Luke looked around the room bleakly one more time before his gaze became unfocused. "I can't pretend you're a stranger, Jen. I can't act like it's not ripping my heart out to be forced to say what needs to be said."
The tremor that had been barely visible became much more pronounced, and it looked like the doctor was going to be physically ill. Leonardo hesitated from rising no longer, urging Luke into the chair he'd been using. He backed away from Luke to give the man air to breathe.
"You have to tell us what you know, Doc," Leo said. "We're all adults here, and no one wants to be coddled. You shouldn't be forced to bear the weight of this silently either. We need the whole truth."
"The truth?" Luke's voice was strained. "The truth is his outlook is poor at this point. His ICP rose too high, and we still haven't been able to lower it. He might not wake up at all. If the damage was too severe, he could suffer brain death. Even though the machines could keep him artificially alive, he wouldn't actually be there. The truth is that even if he does wake up, he may have suffered irreversible brain damage that could change him forever. And that's everything I know right now, as if all of you really wanted to hear it."
Tears escaped Luke with the admission, and Leo sensed he was trying to hold back the floodtide.
"I'm sorry, everyone," Luke continued. "I wish I could do better. I wish I could tell you something, anything for certain. But I can't. The only thing that I can assure you of is that we're doing everything we possibly can, and we're going to keep doing it."
No one said anything immediately. Leonardo stood rigidly with his legs locked in place, warring with his own emotions. His first mission was to control his reaction to prevent compounding an already delicate situation. He had to take several breaths before he could approach Luke.
"Doc, you can't do anything more than your best. No one expects the impossible from you. You can't look at this as your failure."
Luke gripped his forehead as he focused on the floor. "As close as we've been, so many times…I never wanted to believe we'd be here."
"Doc," Leo said more strongly. "You're not failing us."
Luke climbed to his feet. "I'm sorry. I just need a minute, I'm…"
Katherine jumped up, and quietly slipped her hand through his. "It's all right, Luke. C'mon."
There was little fight left in the hollow man as Katherine pulled him toward the kitchen. "I shouldn't leave him," he protested weakly.
"Come," Kat repeated, refusing to let go of his arm.
Leonardo tore himself away from the scene to look at Jenna. The woman was quiet, though tears were hovering at the surface. "Jen, he said you could see Donny. I'll go with you. You don't have to face this alone."
"Leonardo, let me." Victoria's voice was as soothing as a beautiful song to the ear.
The blue-masked turtle stood aside for the two women, but couldn't help watching as they entered the Lab. He had to force himself to turn his attention back on everyone else. "There are a lot of things we could do right now," he said slowly. "But there's one thing we can't do yet. Donny's not lost. He could have died before we reached him, but he didn't. He could have passed away before the docs operated to help control the pressure, but he's still here. All hope isn't lost. Grieve if you need to, but all hope isn't lost."
Leonardo paused for a long moment. "If you need to separate yourselves, I understand. But not for long, okay? We need each other too much. That's the glue that will keep us from falling apart, no matter what happens. I know that no one feels like resting, but it's going to be a necessity. The docs sticking with Donny around the clock means they're going to need support too, and we have to give it to them. The temptation might be to retreat, but we can't do that." Leonardo fixed his red-masked brother with a pointed look. "We won't make it unless we do it together."
April sat up straighter on the couch. "There will be plenty of time to grieve later if we have to. I think it's better to try and stay as positive as we can, as long as we have the option."
"She's right," Calley added her voice tentatively. "We can't act like it's over. Donny's in the best hands he could be…and at the end of the day, the decision doesn't rest with us." Leo noticed his wife give Rebecca a meaningful glance.
Becky nodded as she hooked an arm through Mike's. "Even if we can't put trust in what the docs may or may not be able to do, medically speaking, that doesn't mean Don is without hope. Just the opposite. Jim Laffoon said that if you've been reduced to God being your only hope, you're in a good place."
Rebecca looked around at the circle of faces. "In one sense, hope can't even truly be realized for what it is until everything seems hopeless. That's when it becomes the strength that we have to hold on to."
Leonardo nodded. "Let's not forget that, or become completely discouraged. This isn't over."