January 12,2012- Quantico, Virginia
JJ sat on a small couch next to Garcia in the emergency room waiting room at Quantico Medical Center. Next to Garcia was Reid, who was asleep on her shoulder with his strap bag dangling from his hand. Rossi and Morgan had also fallen asleep, but only after major insistence from Strauss and Garcia. Prentiss was sitting in a seat across from her, slowly swirling a tea bag in a cup of hot water. She appeared to be in a deep exhaustive trance.
I cannot believe that this is happening, JJ thought. The scene of finding Hotch seemed to be stuck on a loop in her head as if it was a broken record. It did not make any sense to her- Hotch never mentioned any health issues to anyone on the team. Her mind suddenly wandered to a conversation that she had with Hotch the night before. The rest of the team was heading to a nearby bar after a long flight home from Oregon. JJ had invited Hotch to come, but he denied and spent the night working in his office. Along with isolating himself from the team, he seemed to lack interest in anything at all.
She felt her mind begin to blame herself. If this had anything to do with Haley, he might have…..
"Do you think that this was self induced?"
JJ snapped out of her thoughts and looked at Prentiss, who was staring at the floor as she continued to swirl the tea bag. She repeated her question, "Do you think Hotch might have done this? You know…."
Suicide. Just say it, Em.
JJ swallowed and said, "I don't know. I- I- I- part of me says that he didn't. We all know Hotch; he would never just give up like that. The other part of me says that he did. She walked across the room and next to Prentiss. "As I think about it, he has been really quiet and distant lately. Along with exhaustion, he has been really pale as of late."
"I have noticed that as well. I asked Hotch if he was alright last week, but he snapped at me and told me to leave him alone. Withdrawal, bitterness, and a feeling of lonliness are all the signs of someone who is severely depressed or suicidal….." Both women nervously glanced towards Hotch's room. As if right on cue, Hotch's sister in law Jessica walked out of his room. Her eyes were fixated on the ground as she walked slowly away from the room. "Jessica?" JJ called. She watched Jessica snap out of her gaze and look to the two women.
"The doctors say that Aaron," Jessica stammered as she approached them, "is dehydrated, exhausted, and malnourished. They also found that he is anemic and I believe he has lost at least 10 pounds within the last week. Right now, they are trying to figure out if this was intentional or not and whether to admit him to the psych ward. Either way, he has not been eating or sleeping since Haley's death."
JJ nodded while trying to keep herself from crying. She reached her hand behind her and tapped Morgan on the shoulder. He stirred and glanced up to her in confusion. When he saw Jessica, he shook Rossi to wake him and called out to Reid. While the other two men woke up, a doctor approached the group with a calm expression on his face. Either he has good news about Hotch or is trying to keep a calm expression as he tells us bad news, JJ thought.
The doctor put a hand on Jessica's shoulder and stated, "Ms. Brooks? We have made a decision." He watched all eight of them stare back at him, all hoping for good news. "Mr. Hotchner has just spoken to our psychologist and seemed to pass the assessment with flying colors. He claims that with the high case load you have all dealt within the last month had him burn out. With that claims, it sounds like he had put one hundred percent effort into his work and nothing into anything else."
That sounds just like Hotch, JJ thought. Rossi spoke up, "Doctor, you said "claimed" like you don't believe him." The doctor raised an eyebrow and retorted, "and you do?"
"No, I don't. When we found him his door was locked. It could also be a way for him to get privacy, but his demeanor within the last month tells us otherwise. He is also a profiler and knows human behavior very well. He would know exactly what to say to get out of being admitted to the psych ward. I know Aaron; the world will end before he admits that something is bothering him."
"Then, here is what I recommend what you do. Keep an eye on him as much as possible. If he makes any signs that he is getting worse and I mean anything that makes you worry, call me immediately," the doctor said, " Now if you will excuse me…" He walked over to the nurses' station where he began to look through charts.
Everyone stood where they were, lost in sad emotions until Reid spoke up, "So what exactly are we going to do?"
JJ took a few steps towards Hotch's room and sighed. She watched her boss sleep quietly in the room. Although asleep, Hotch was gripping one of the sheets tightly. It appeared as if he were lost in a nightmare.
"Here's what we are going to do," Rossi stated, which caused JJ to turn around. "We are going to act as normal as possible around Hotch. If we treat him like a child, he is going to get angry and retreat from us even more. We will need to monitor him closely; make sure he eats and sleeps, doesn't overwork himself, and doesn't do anything remotely depressing or suicidal. Don't crowd him, but still stay close."
"Will he still be able to work?" asked Reid. Next to him, Jessica rubbed her arms nervously.
"Yes, because the doctor ruled him to be psychologically fit. Unless he does something that causes a concern, no one can stop him from working," answered Prentiss.
"What about Jack?" Jessica asked, "I don't want him to see his father like this, especially this soon after his mother died. "
"Well, if you stay with Hotch for a little bit, you can monitor Jack around him. I highly doubt that Hotch would do anything depressive or suicidal around his son," Morgan finished. Jessica paused before nodding in agreement. After looking between Hotch and his team, she asked, "I have to go pick up Jack from daycare. Will you guys be staying?"
"Of course. We aren't leaving until he wakes up," chimed Morgan. He sat down on one of the couches next to Garcia and put his head in his hands. Garcia rubbed his shoulders while Rossi, Reid, and Prentiss sat back down in their seats. JJ walked passed Prentiss and approached a window. The cold January air had caused frost to build up onto the windows. She put a finger on the window and slowly drew a star. There was no reason behind the star, but JJ felt that it was appropriate. She then closed her eyes and thought, Please be ok Hotch. We need you to be ok.