Author's Notes:

The continuation of the last "cliffhanger" like chapter. :3

And as a note, because it came up in some reviews: I just want to say that Ellen is only 15 years old – while real Allen Walker is quite strong and can deal with problems on his own (even though they are of a different nature), Ellen cannot do the same. If she was older and had been allowed to mature then she would not have panicked when faced with an unexpected pregnancy and an early marriage.

Also, being class-conscious was nothing exceptional back in her time; the nobility was of course concerned with losing importance due to the rise of the middle-class. Therefore, Ellen is not just being silly while fretting over her marriage with Kanda.

And another small note to Eclipse Lotus who sent me a review (I have no other way of replying to anonymous reviews that I can think of than doing it in-chapter, even though the review was for chapter two *lol* So maybe this reply will reach you Eclipse Lotus!): Certainly, I know very well that Allen is 15 years old. However, I set the beginning of the story shortly before Ellen's birthday, therefore it was a question whether I should make her 14, so that she could be 15 for the biggest part of the story or let her be 15 turning 16. Apparently I chose the first option.

After a long author's notes, please enjoy the chapter :3

Disclaimer: D. Gray-Man belongs to Katsura Hoshino

Kapitel 41: Surrender

Her fingers still trembling Ellen took the dagger out of her suitcase. She unwrapped it and then she held it in her hands, turning it around, studying it. It was heavy and the metallic blade was shining and cold in her hands. There were no stains on it, no testimony that anything bad had happened. That people had suffered. That innocent, unborn children had died. All of the agony was simply swept away into oblivion.

If only… If only it was gone! Ellen had wished so much for battle to devour the poor unblessed soul that should not have been. She had never once held herself back for the sake of what her body was hiding. Yes, she had refused to accept reality. She had refused to accept it until Bak Chan had confronted her with it. And his reassurance that she was pregnant was like a magic spell, or rather a curse, that had constrained Ellen and suffocated her in worries. If only there was no child! She could just go back to her mother, confess and find a man who would still take her. Ellen knew that there must have been many who would have accepted her despite her flaws. But with the child she had no options! She was dependant on Kanda's love to be real. She did not doubt him, no, his love seemed to be as real as his child that she now carried. But she did not want it. She should never want it…!

Ellen stared at the dagger, reflecting the dark stone ceiling, reflecting her wide terrified eyes when she bent over it, searching for an answer on its stainless blade. This would be able to end her problems.

It was cowardly, of course! She would sacrifice the life of the child for her honour. But this child was the proof that she had been disobedient, this child was the proof that she had loved Kanda despite better judgment. If she erased the proof then she would not need to marry Kanda, she would not need to burden herself and her mother with her wrong decisions and childish foolishness. She should just do it! Ellen put the tip of the dagger against her stomach, her whole body trembling.

"I should…!"

But Ellen couldn't. She let the dagger drop from her sweaty fingers back into her suitcase and closed it, breathing heavily. "I cannot do it…! I am such a pathetic person!" Ellen whispered, her tears falling on her bed, until she wiped them away. Ellen had to accept responsibility for her actions. She had heard it over and over again. And she had been so sure that she could, that she was strong and mature enough. But actually, she did not want to. She was afraid.

-

When Kanda came to bring her something to eat he found Ellen in a calm, but grave mood. She smiled at him but it seemed fake and only there for the sake of politeness. Kanda didn't like it at all. They ate almost in silence, with Ellen making occasional remarks about the food's quality and asking about Kanda's health.

"Are you okay with it?" He asked when they had finished eating and Ellen was drinking her tea.

"What do you mean?" Ellen wondered and Kanda frowned at her.

"Our marriage this evening," he replied and Ellen sighed deeply. "Apparently not. Well, you don't have to worry about me though. I am not doing this out of a feeling of duty or responsibility. I honestly do wish to marry you," Kanda reassured her, but Ellen was not really glad to hear it. Of course, she was more than happy to be loved, but it also made her bitter.

"Please, do not misunderstand me, but I do not think that our marriage is a good idea…," she told him and Kanda looked at her expectantly. Of course, he had thought that this was her opinion, but he would also like to hear her reasoning behind it. "We… we do not really fit…"

"Why do you think this? What about us does not fit?" Kanda wondered and Ellen folded her hands on the table, looking at anything but Kanda.

"You… you know that I was born into a noble family… A woman of my standing should marry a man with certain qualities…" Kanda remained silent, merely listening without commenting yet, "Mother… Mother would not approve of our match. She wants me to marry a man who comes from the same social background than I do. An English man of noble blood, of great learning and understanding, a man with a wide social network, someone mature enough to guide me, someone who can provide for me."

"Right. So you're looking for someone straight out of a novel?" Kanda asked in a slightly irritated tone.

"Don't be silly Kanda! I was not asking for a fairy tale prince! I was realistic; such men do exist!" Kanda snorted in disapproval.

"And you want to marry such a man? Sure, such men do exist, but are you aware that you did not say a man who would love and cherish me? Is that not a requirement?" he wondered and Ellen bit her lips. "No answer." Ellen frantically shook her head.

"Kanda, please… I do have to think about my family's future as well! I am required to marry a good man! I cannot marry you!" With this Kanda could no longer contain his anger and shot up, slamming his palms flat on the table. Ellen gasped and nearly fell over with her chair when she gave a start.

"Do you know what you are saying?!" Kanda shouted, "have you listened to yourself speak?! In what kind of archaic society do you live in?! What kind of thoughts and ideals do you have in your head?!" Ellen just stared up at Kanda, unable to form any words, so he just continued: "You have said that you can't marry me because you need to marry a good man! So am I not a good man, for God's sake?!" Ellen lifted her hands to her cheeks, squeezing her eyes shut and shaking her head, but she still did not speak. Kanda glared at her and tried to calm himself down. Shouting was probably not the best way to go about it. But still, he was so irritated that he couldn't contain his disapproval. "You cannot marry me because I am below you socially! I have understood that you consider me to be inferior to you! So fine, even if I were; why would you rather marry a man for his status and money than for his love?"

"That is not what I said!" Ellen argued, but Kanda glared at her.

"This is exactly what you implied," he hissed. Ellen covered her face with her hands, elbows on the table.

"Do you know what it means for me to marry you? What it means for me to accept your proposal?" Kanda didn't reply and Ellen took her hands away again, still looking at the table's surface, "but you are right… I… have no choice…" she finally said with a defeated sigh. "I have made a mistake that cannot be redeemed… Therefore I must continue walking down the path that I have paved for myself… I have been foolish and thoughtless. I have gone against what my mother taught me. I have not deserved better than to suffer for my foolishness." Ellen raised her head and looked into Kanda's eyes. "I will therefore surrender myself to my fate and await the just judgment for my errors…" Kanda could not reply to that. He looked at her with wide eyes, his face pale. Finally, he drew in a sharp breath.

"I see… Ellen, you tragic heroine, waiting for disgrace and death coming to get you. But you'll suffer through it because there's no other way to redeem…" he said silently, bitterly. Ellen widened her eyes in surprise when she heard his words and stood up, looking at Kanda in confusion. "If that is what you feel…" words failed him and he turned away, walking to the door. Ellen finally moved, realizing what damage she might just have caused by her words. To see him standing there, at the door, ready to leave her. Ready to turn his back on her! Ellen trembled in fear when she thought about him leaving her alone. She darted forwards.

"Kanda!" Ellen called, trying to stop the man from leaving. He did stop and turned back to her, looking at her dubiously. She blushed in shame to see the look in his eyes. "Listen… I… do not really know what to say… But I am feeling quite bad about what I just thoughtlessly said," she explained, mumbling slightly. Kanda studied her, standing there with her head lowered. After a while he sighed deeply which made her raise her head.

"Yes… Yes you really should be," he told her and she looked quite troubled. "I know that you are a woman and you have quite a different way to see things. And I know that you have great worries. But didn't you even stop to think that I too could be hurt?" She looked at him with an uncertain expression, not daring to say anything. Kanda sighed again and touched his fingers to his forehead and then he wiped his hand over his face, rubbing his forehead slightly. "I am aware that being pregnant puts you in great troubles, especially as you aren't married. But honestly, this man you aren't married to – the child's father – is me. Why did you not even try to give this more importance before you go making decisions on your own?"

"Kanda… I…"

"Yes, yes. You are speechless," he mocked bitterly, which made Ellen turn pale. She was feeling very bad, but really, she deserved it this time.

"So, let me guess some of the reasons you hesitate; you can't marry me because your mother doesn't know me, because I am by profession an exorcist – which you are as well -, because I am Japanese, possibly also because, if I remember correctly, you are a protestant and I am a catholic and because I haven't learnt anything decent. You can't marry me because I am not as learned as you, as intelligent as you, as noble as you. And because you think I am too poor and below you on the social ladder. With these things stated bluntly; don't you think that I might be deeply hurt by your way of seeing me, judged by a set of criteria as superficial and emotionless as these?" Kanda wondered and Ellen was biting her lips, trying to keep herself from crying. She had never dared to say these things, but now that he had voiced them Ellen had to admit that she had thought about all of them. She had thought about dozens of reasons why her mother might disapprove of him without even knowing what her mother might truly think of him. These were excuses, all of them. And they were cruel to Kanda, she should have seen that. "Really, Ellen, I thought that you were a romantic person. Does the fact that I love you count nothing at all?" Ellen looked up at him and was quite surprised to see all kind of emotions on Kanda's face.

"No… No I did not mean it like that. I did not want to sound cruel and cold-hearted…," she said, her voice thick with the tears she started to shed – mostly tears of fear and shame.

"Then what did you mean?" Kanda asked but Ellen just shook her head, "why can't you speak? Don't you know?"

"I am scared… I do no longer know what I should do…"

"Then why don't you try to talk to me? Don't you trust me? I know you trust me as an exorcist, why not also as a friend?"

"I think you would not-" Ellen stopped herself before another thoughtless thing would slip past her lips, but Kanda knew exactly what she had meant to say.

"I would not understand?" Kanda asked with a sad sigh, "In all honesty, Ellen. You are short of making me run out of this room crying in frustration." Ellen sniffed wordlessly and Kanda looked at the ceiling to gather his thoughts. Should he just go out? It would spare her the pain of making a decision in or against his favour. He should just give up on her to spare her more anguish. But could he? No, never. So he stayed. "Ellen… Be considerate for a bit. You are expecting my child and I am willing to marry you even if it will be difficult. Why can't you accept my proposal without being forced to?"

"Oh Kanda… It will be too difficult…" Ellen tried to argue, but it didn't convince Kanda in the slightest.

"How? Next to all those things I obviously seem to lack I am an English citizen. I speak the language, I have a profession, I earn money, I can deal with upper class people well enough. I am not a savage just because I am not English nobility."

"I never thought you were… Please, don't be unfair…" Ellen whispered, but it made Kanda frown.

"You are the one being unfair," he told her. He didn't have much more patience for this. Why didn't Ellen see the faults in her way of thinking? Why was the social standing more important than the fact that the two of them would be having a child in the near future? "If you really want to get rid of me, I will leave."

"Kanda… I do not want to lose you…" Ellen said and looked at him with a sad face.

"If you don't want to lose me then you should make a step in my direction…," Kanda suggested.

"I already told you. I will… Look out of the window. It will be evening soon," Ellen whispered and Kanda had to lower his head.

"And… that is all?" He asked and Ellen looked at him in slight confusion. "Do you think that forcing yourself into something you do not want is making a step in my direction?" He wondered bitterly, "The only thing you seem to do is sacrifice yourself by lowering yourself to my level. You give up."

"Kanda…" Ellen said, surprised, despite her own bitterness, to still see him that unhappy about her decision to be his.

"To receive my love seems to be your greatest sacrifice. Why? What would you do if you had the option to choose?"

"If I had the option then I would not make any decisions at all," Ellen told him. The dark haired exorcist looked at her without saying anything for a few moments.

"But now that you have decided to surrender yourself, as you put it, what do you think will happen?" Ellen sighed and folded her hands behind her back, studying her shoes.

"I will become your wife. I will not be able to return to the life I led before. I will not be able to marry a man who can give me what my mother wishes him to give me. I will probably put shame to my family's name because I crossed a boundary. I do not know if that will force me to give up on my family… But…" She said while Kanda's troubled expression only changed to one of poorly concealed pain. "I will do my duty as your wife as soon as I have done my duty as an exorcist…"

"And all because you were unfortunate to get pregnant…," Kanda muttered and Ellen nodded, still not looking at him and seeing what her words did to him. Kanda remained silent for a long while and Ellen didn't say anything else either. After a while Kanda made up his mind:

"There…" he started, forcing himself to form the words, "is a possibility that you do not have to suffer the disgrace of being married to me for long." Ellen raised her head and looked at him in wonder, "my life time is restricted. I only have a certain amount of time left and if I heal faster than normal humans do, then I do this in exchange for this time… Therefore… I might die before this war is entirely over…" Ellen stared at Kanda in shock.

"And you… you think that I would be glad…?" she asked, her voice trembling and she had to keep herself from shaking. "You really think that I am such a cold-hearted person…?!" Ellen put her hands in front of her face, concealing her sobs. Kanda watched her in silence, but after a while, Ellen lowered her hands and walked up to Kanda. She grabbed his hands and squeezed them. "I do not want you to die! I would never, never allow you to die for such a stupid reason!" Ellen hissed, "I do not know how such a terrible thing came to be, but I will not leave you alone! I will support you! I will stay with you and see you through it no matter what happens!" She said, lifting his hands to her face to brush her tear stained cheek against them. Kanda looked at her with a doubtful expression, but he did appreciate her words, even though they still stung.

"So you want to be my eternal companion…," he said and looked into her face, "but you do not want to be my wife…" Ellen looked up at him, then she looked away, his hands still in hers. Kanda studied her, then he sighed. "But I am grateful." She raised her eyes to meet his. "I will keep you as long as I can. And I will do my best…" Ellen merely nodded because she knew that if she would try to speak now she would just start to sob pitifully. She let go of Kanda's hands but he still put his palms against her cheeks. Then he bent down to kiss her head and Ellen grabbed his shirt at first, then she pulled him towards her, embracing him.

"Don't die Kanda!" she cried against his chest. Kanda embraced her, holding her close.

"I won't…"

-

Kanda left after making sure that Ellen had calmed down enough to not do anything unreasonable. Ellen was indeed calmer now, but her head was still filled with guilt and sorrow. She was passively sitting on her bed when somebody knocked on her door. The young woman got up and opened; it was Linali.

"Oh, Linali! Are you healthy enough to leave the infirmary?" Ellen asked in concern and let the Chinese girl come in.

"Yes, the matron allowed me to go. I just came to fetch you for some dinner!" Linali said with a smile, but was then met by silence. Puzzled to not receive a reply she looked at Ellen, who had now turned away. "Ellen? Is something the matter?"

"I… Am not up to eating right now. Maybe later…," she said and Linali looked at her with worry in her eyes.

"Are you sure? Is there anything I can do for you?" Ellen hesitated, but then she turned around. Linali was surprised to find tears in her friend's eyes but a smile on her lips.

"Yes," Ellen breathed because her voice quivered too much to speak loudly, "you could help me dress." Linali looked at her in wonder, but even though she did not know what troubled her friend, her first reaction was to just take a step forward and embrace her. "What is wrong, Linali?" Ellen asked.

"I don't know. I just saw how pained you looked and despite not knowing the reason for it I just suddenly felt so bad that I was urged to embrace you!" Linali said and Ellen smiled at her.

"Thank you…," she answered and Linali looked at her, then she smiled as well.

"You want to dress? What is the occasion?" Linali asked and let go of her and stepped over to Ellen's drawer.

"I will go to see Kanda afterwards," was Ellen's only reply that left Linali to guess what she meant by that. But judging from Linali's reaction – a happy smile – she probably assumed that Ellen wanted to go meet her lover in her best dress possible. Ellen could not share Linali's joy as the young Chinese giggled while going through Ellen's clothes.

"I knew that you and Kanda were close, it was an obvious outcome from the start. But you always denied that you had deeper feelings for him. Did your reunion change anything?"

"I am not sure how to reply, Linali…," Ellen confessed and watched Linali pull out the best dress she could find; a white simple blouse and a black, unadorned skirt. When Ellen saw them she couldn't stop her eyes from forming new tears. No, no that was not what she had expected her wedding gown to look like.

"Ellen? What is wrong?" Linali asked when she heard the silent sobs, letting go of the clothes to pull her friend's hands into hers.

"It is just my petty vanity…," Ellen whispered and wiped her eyes. Linali studied her for a while, then she smiled at her.

"Wait a moment, I guess I have something that you might like!" With this she left Ellen on her own, wondering what Linali was up to. While waiting, fixed to the spot, for some minutes, Ellen sighed and walked over to her table, where Linali had deposited her clothes. She grabbed the fabric of the black skirt and pulled it up, looking at it. Then she looked down on herself; she wore trousers, a simple shirt and a knitted jacket. Not like a lady was supposed to be dressed, not even in careless moments.

"I cannot even see myself anymore… Where has Ellen Bermont gone to, hidden behind the mask of Ellen Walker?" She let the skirt drop from her hands and turned to face the window, where the sun had sunk under the trees, sending some golden red rays through the forest. It was getting evening. "Will I disappear with the after-noon?" Ellen wondered, "what will become of me when I marry?". Of course, nobody could reply to her own anxieties but Ellen's troubled mind and her dream image's mockery echoing in her head: "will your marriage become a prison?". Ellen dropped her gaze and sighed. "Indeed… Will it?"

A knock on her door announced Linali's reappearance.

"Sorry that it took me so long!" she said and Ellen walked up to her with a smile on her lips.

"Do not worry, I did not wait long. What is it that you went to get?" Ellen asked and Linali grinned, then she showed her a white dress that she had kept hidden behind her back.

"Ta-da! I hope you like it!" Ellen looked at Linali's gleaming face in wonder, then she studied the dress she held in front of her. It was long and white with many folds and laces and a bit of golden embroidery here and there. "My brother once gave it to me but I didn't like it at all because I looked ridiculous in it – but I thought it might look great on you. My brother said that he was fine with me handing it to you as long as it's of some use."

"I… Linali…," Ellen said, "can I really have this?"

"Of course! Do you like it?" Linali asked after her friend had taken the dress from her hands to look at it more closely.

"Yes! Yes I love it…!" Ellen said and put it against her face to hide her tears. Linali smiled and put her hands around Ellen.

"Don't cry, Ellen… Once we're all fine again we'll ask Komui to let us get some nice clothes for you. A girl doesn't want to walk around in trousers and shirts all of the time, I understand how you feel…" Ellen lifted her head and smiled. Linali laughed and wiped away the tears on Ellen's face.

"Let's get you dressed!"

"Yes."

-

A finder came to tell Ellen that she was to go to an office just next to the order's chapel, where Ellen probably was to be wed to Kanda. She had not dared to tell Linali about it, nor anybody else, that's why she felt lonely and insecure on the way to the office. It would have been far easier if Linali had been there to give her some courage, or even Rabi, no matter what words he spoke to her. But her shame and insecurity had prevented her from seeking help and she firmly believed that she had to suffer through this on her own. It was thus with a heavy heart that Ellen opened the door to the office, finding it empty except from Kanda, who was sitting in an armchair next to a table. He rose when he saw her and she had time enough to study her future husband. He looked very well groomed; he wore black trousers, polished shoes, a white shirt, a vest and a tie. His hair was neatly pulled back, giving her almost a full view of his handsome face. He didn't say anything to her, but he looked at her and the things she wore.

"You are very pale…," he finally said and Ellen lowered her head. It was true though; with almost no colour but her red scar on her, she looked like a ghost. "You'd better take a seat…"
"I am not ill, Kanda…," Ellen reminded him, but still sat in an armchair opposite Kanda, sighing deeply. "Is General Cross not here yet?"

"No… We're on our own…," Kanda said and snorted, "maybe he wants us to talk once again."

"There is no sense in talking this over. The decisions have already been made and neither of us will go back on them," Ellen replied and Kanda studied her.

"You won't?"

"I will not. I accepted your proposal, Kanda," the girl said with a calm voice, looking over to the door. Kanda didn't say anything, because he had a feeling that there was nothing he could say without upsetting her. "Actually, I wondered…" Ellen started after a while and looked at him, "what do you even think about marriage?" Kanda was a bit surprised to hear her ask, but he had a reply ready for her:

"I never though that I would even marry because I didn't believe that there was a woman who could cope with my way of living. After I got to know you I thought you could… But now I am not so sure anymore…" he told her and Ellen was slightly surprised by that.

"How?" Kanda looked at his hands, but then he raised his eyes to study Ellen.

"Because with your current way of behaviour you seem changed… I knew beforehand that you were concerned with keeping up fronts, but I did not think that it would go this far…" Ellen looked at him and Kanda continued, "I did think that you loved me as well…" He clenched his fists and looked to the floor, not wanting to see the face Ellen made. Ellen however sighed deeply and took his hands.

"I know…" she said and Kanda looked at her in confusion, "I know that I seem to have changed suddenly and dramatically… But this kind of situation forces me to adapt as well. I cannot do as I wish when it gets to such matters… And, Kanda…" Ellen bit her lips, but forced herself to keep looking at the man in front of her, "I do like you. I am very fond of you. It is just… that I should never have developed feelings of love for you in the first place…" Kanda silently watched her, then he snorted silently.

"And now that we marry?"

"Now I shall…," she replied, but Kanda was not entirely happy with that answer. It sounded like another duty of hers, something she must do because it was expected of her. Kanda no longer hoped to understand what Ellen was thinking and feeling even though he wanted to. Ellen let go of Kanda's hands and leant back in her chair, still looking at him.

"There is something else that I must tell you. My master told me to keep it a secret, but you will find out anyway," she said and Kanda raised an eyebrow. "Walker was my mother's maiden name. I am actually called Ellen Bermont…" Kanda looked at her with a frown, but then he nodded. "I apologize for deceiving you." The dark haired exorcist made a dismissive gesture with his hand.

"I don't really care about it. I am simply slightly surprised that you would conceal your name if it means so much to you. Shouldn't you proudly use your name whenever you could? Even I do, despite not being particularity fond of my origins." Ellen looked at him in wonder, but instead of asking what was behind those words she chose to give an answer.

"Well… Of course, but I needed to protect my family. We are well known after all, I did not want the Earl to target them…," Ellen explained but she also recalled that she was targeted anyway – not as an enemy but as a potential ally in the form of Tyki's bride. But she couldn't possibly tell Kanda.

"Hm…" was the only thing Kanda had to say to that and then they fell into silence, waiting for Cross and Tiedoll to come.

-

Some moments later the two did come, accompanied by a man in robes, apparently a priest. Tiedoll did fuss over Ellen for some time, admiring how beautiful she looked in her improvised wedding dress.

"Don't you agree, Yu?" he asked when they all took a seat at the table, Kanda and Ellen on the opposite side as the priest.

"Yes, of course," he muttered and Ellen looked at her hands she had clenched on her knees. Her heart beat fast and she was very nervous, but Kanda wasn't as calm as he usually was either.

"I prepared a document for you two to sign," the priest told them and produced a piece of parchment, "I will keep everything that is about to happen in this room a secret, seeing as the Order and the Vatican might not approve of the circumstances."

"Thank you…" was all that Ellen could mumble in reply.

"You'll have your fairy tale wedding after the war. Just be patient, brat," Cross said with a snort and Ellen just lowered her head, not saying anything. The priest coughed while Tiedoll already started to blow his nose.

"We will overlook the differences in confession and the legal age for marriage not met by them. General Cross and General Tiedoll have volunteered to act as your guardians to make this marriage possible…" The priest coughed yet again when the word marriage made Tiedoll sob into his handkerchief. He turned the parchment around and handed Kanda a pen.

"Yu Kanda and Ellen Bermont. If you two would please sign this document," he said and Kanda took the pen. He signed his name also adding signs which Ellen could not read but guessed to be his name written in Japanese, then he handed Ellen the pen. She hesitated, but put the pen on the line where the priest's finger was pointing at. Ellen shot a look up at Cross, but the man just stared down at her, urging her to sign with a nod of his head. Ellen balled her fists but she wrote down her name. The priest took the parchment and rolled it up.

"Very well. With this you two are now married under the law of the Vatican. Yu and Ellen Kanda, I proclaim you husband and wife." There were no vows or rings exchanged, no cheering by the family, no happy tears, no smiles. Ellen's trembling hand let the pen fall on the wooden table and covered her face with her hands. The priest excused himself, shaking hands with the other men in the room, then he left. Nothing was said until Cross walked over to Ellen and grabbed her upper arm.

"Pull yourself together!" he said, and pulled her on her feet. Ellen couldn't say anything and stumbled after Cross as he pulled her out of the room, still with a firm grip on her arm. "So." He said and let go of her. "You have now escaped your mother's clutches for the moment. She cannot change the fact that you are married now. You might not be that thrilled about it, but it was the best decision for now. Stop crying." Ellen wiped her hands over her face and nodded, not saying anything. "Good. You'll be Ellen Kanda now." At that Ellen widened her eyes and looked at Cross with an expression of worry.

"No! Please – please let me keep my name!" Cross raised an eyebrow and she turned to Kanda, who also looked at her in wonder. "I beg of you, Kanda! Let me continue being Ellen Walker! I cannot be anything else here in the Black Order!" Kanda hesitated, but finally he nodded, even though he did so begrudgingly. Cross nodded, then he left. Tiedoll stayed a bit longer, first wiping the tears from his eyes before speaking to them.

"This is such an important event in the life of two young people. I am sorry that this wedding could not have been conducted in a more adequate manner. But I am sure that we can make up for it at a later date." Kanda didn't say anything and Ellen merely nodded, trying to smile. "Well, with that said I still want to congratulate you two! I am very proud!" He said and embraced both of them – even though Kanda was quite reluctant to be hugged by anybody other than Ellen. "Now that you are married and safe, I am very relieved! Good night you two!"

"Good Night, General Tiedoll," Ellen called after him and he waved, then he left the corridor the two were standing in. And silence returned once again between them.

"Come…," Kanda finally said and took hold of Ellen's hand, leading her to his room. "I do not want to make you stay the night," he said when he saw how uneasy Ellen looked, "I simply want to have the chance to speak to you…" Ellen looked at him, but then she stared crying silently, grabbing the fabric of her dress.

"S… Sorry that I am being such a cry-baby…," she told him, but Kanda just pulled her into his arms.

"I am sorry as well… I never knew that I would cause you to be so unhappy…," he whispered into her hair.

"I should not be…," she said silently, "the man that I married loves me…". Kanda looked at her, then he sighed bitterly.

"Yes… You can at least rely on that…". Ellen nodded and closed her eyes. Kanda bent down and kissed her. The first kiss they shared as husband and wife. It was bitter, as both of them were not entirely happy, but to Kanda, it was still very, very welcome. And he just hoped that he could make her as happy as she made him.

To be continued.

Notes:

What a bitter wedding… I apologize to those who expected a cathedral and flowers and happiness (like Ellen did). This is of course what they deserve, but now's not the time for it…

But the biggest question is: where's the wedding night?? *lol* I'll stop being silly now.

P.S. I read that Yullen Week will be from the 1st of June to the 6th of June. While I am not sure whether I can participate or not (because I would need to finish all the prompts before the beginning of June but I have exams until then) I would still like to take this opportunity to remind you of it! :D

I put the info on my profile page so that I can help to spread the word! ;3