Okay, so, after this chapter I shall begin writing the second half of the NaruHina past and then two more chapters and I will put the NaruIno past. After that it will be a bunch of sickening sweet moments between Naruto and Sakura, until the NaruTema past... and just for the hell of it I shall add a bunch of chapters all about Team 3 which will not only show the relationship between Naruto and his students but also his relationship with Anko, like I said they're not together or anything... she just loves to tease the guy... and is one of three obstacles one must pass to be with him.
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto
"Hold still you son of a bitch!" Sakura growled.
"No freakin' way!" Naruto laughed, "I'm not taking a chakra fist to the face."
They had been playing this game of cat and mouse for close up to three hours now. Keiko and Hitomi sat near by idly enjoying their lunch as they watched their sensei and new teammate dance around eachother... Well, Keiko was watching, Hitomi was trying to find a way to get them together after all "Nothing is more beautiful than LOVE!" cue cheesy music and weird hearts. Naruto flipped over one of her punches and stuck his tongue out at her before patting her on the rear. She blushed, squeaked then jumped as far away from him as possible.
"What the hell?!" she yelled at him.
"What?" he asked feigning innocence, "I didn't do nothin'."
"You groped my ass you perv!" she blushed.
"Oh, is that what that was? It's so big I thought I was tapping your back," he smirked.
"I am going to fucking murder you!" she steamed.
Sakura charged at him again; this time both her fists and feet were flaring with chakra. Expertly Naruto bobbed and weaved his way through her assault before placing one of his legs behind her and tripping her. Not missing a beat Sakura quickly did a sweeping leg kick that grounded Naruto. She stood up and brought her fist down again only to have Naruto roll away and jump towards a tree. He shook his head and let out a long sigh as he watched the still fuming Kunoichi.
"Sheesh, I thought one's temper would fizzle out with age. But I guess even your temper can stand the test of time ne- Sakura-oba," he smirked.
An eerily calm expression came upon her face as her eyebrow twitched, "I... am going to shove your head so far up your fucking ass you'll have to wear yourself as a HAT!"
She jumped after him and as he dodged all of her strikes they left a trail of destruction deeper into the forest. Leaving Keiko and Hitomi with confused faces.
"See, you're wasting your time Hitomi," Keiko said.
"Nu-uh! They just need to have sex," Hitomi said, matter of factly.
"Wha-what?!" Keiko asked, shocked at her sister's words.
"Yes, the sexual tension between those two is so thick you could cut it with a knife," she said with the same air of knowing.
"So, what? You're suddenly the all knowing mistress of sexual situations?" Keiko asked.
"Well duh! I thought it was obvious? You're the one with all the brains about fighting and stuff. Then I got the important parts about social situations and being able to tell when two people- like Naruto-sensei and Sakura-san- need to get some," she smiled.
"... You are so weird," Keiko sighed.
Hitomi giggled and continued eating her lunch. Suddenly the sound of their dear sensei's voice hit their ears.
"Uncle! Uncle uncle uncle!" he cried.
"No way! When I'm through with you, you're gonna be eating all of your meals with a straw!" Sakura yelled after him.
Another high pitched shriek from Naruto as he scrambled out of the trees towards his students.
"Keiko! Hitomi help me- Ahhh!" his bid for help was cut short as a length of ninja wire wrapped around his ankles.
Sakura dragged him to her and quickly hogtied him. With a sinister smile she began popping her knuckles.
"Please don't kill me!" he begged.
"Yes, please don't kill him," Kakashi, who just appeared, agreed.
"Oh, Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto asked as he easily got out of the wire.
As he stood up he quickly froze... if Kakashi was here then that means... He quickly turned to the right and caught a dango stick... she was near. Naruto gulped and quickly scrambled behind Keiko and Hitomi.
"Nu-uh Naruto-sensei!" they both said and scrambled behind him.
Not wasting anytime he ran behind Sakura and lifted her in the air by her arms.
"Oh great and powerful Anko-sama. I offer you this humble and, mostly virgin, sacrifice." he chanted.
A blur in the trees caught Sakura's attention completely cancelling out the irritaion at being called "mostly virgin". The blur hit the ground before completely vanishing.
"Where'd she go?!" a frightened Keiko asked.
"I don't know!" an equally frightened Hitomi replied.
No one, except for Kakashi, noticed the woman slowly slinking her way towards Naruto.
"Hi there, Naruto-kun," she whispered.
Naruto shrieked and dropped Sakura as he tried to run away; Anko using the surprise she had caught his ankle and started dragging him away. Kakashi turned towards the three confused Chunin.
"Tsunade-sama is sending myself, Anko, Gai and- obviously- Naruto on a mission."
They nodded and watched as Naruto gave up on struggling and simply let Anko drag him away. They looked back towards Kakashi hoping for more information.
"We should be back in a day or two," he said.
Again they nodded and watched as Kakashi took off to catch up with his fellow Jounin.
"I have no idea how this happened," Naruto mumbled.
Somewhere between getting dragged away from his team and meeting up with Gai he been placed on his feet with Anko riding on his back.
"Why do you let her do this?" Kakashi asked.
"I dunno... just easier to let her than to fight it," he sighed.
"You realize, of course, that you're only encouraging her actions, Naruto-kun?" Gai threw in.
"Yes I know," again Naruto sighed.
Gai and Kakashi shared a look of confusion before shrugging and continuing their path to the Hokage. Once there Anko made a whining noise as she dropped from Naruto which made him smirk. Giving two knocks to the door and entering before given the okay to; the team of four stood in front of the Hokage.
"Good, you're all here," she began, "we've been getting odd reports from the northeast, near the border of Kusa. Farmers, merchants, even a few of our own ninja patrols have gone missing... I want you four to go and put a stop to it. I don't care if it's a group of over zealous bandits or missing nin, deal with it."
The four Jounin nodded and quickly exited the Hokage's office before sprinting out of the village. It wasn't until they were far enough out of the village to go back did Naruto realize that he only had one of his Hiraishin kunai. Doubtful that he would need more, but it was always nice to be well prepared.
"So, how's the new team working out for you, Naruto?" Kakashi asked.
"Pretty good, lately I've been giving Keiko and Hitomi harder training while getting under Sakura's skin every chance I get!" he smiled, "In fact just today I was-
"Ahh! Fuckin' hell!" Anko yelled and dropped to the nearest branch.
"Anko!" all three males said as the jumped towards her.
She was kneeling on the branch as her right hand clenched the juncture of her left shoulder and neck. Naruto kneeled down next to her while slowly and gently removing her hand before moving her coat out of the way. A slight tug on the mesh bodysuit she wore showed that the skin where her curse mark used to be twitched and convulsed angrily.
"Of all the times, huh?" she chuckled.
"Oh just shut up and hold still," Naruto ordered.
Producing a scroll from one of the pouches of his flak jacket he quickly unsealed some ink and a brush. Writing down the proper seals around her shoulder he placed the tools back into the scroll before closing it back into his jacket. Two hand signs later he activated the hastily drawn seal to suppress the dark energy that still lingered in Anko's body.
"There, that won't fix it like I usually do but it will hold together for a few hours. That should be long enough to deal with this, or at the very least scout the area. Then once we're back in Konoha or have set up camp I'll do a proper sealing," Naruto said.
She nodded and stood up on shaky legs, she almost fell but luckily Naruto was there to catch her. Allowing her to lean on him until she got her bearings again he fished out his Hiraishin and placed it in her hand.
"Just in case," he said when she gave him a questioning look.
She nodded and the team began jumping towards their destination again, albeit a bit slower with Anko's fatigue.
"And, stick close to me," he said as he slowed down to match Anko's pace.
"You got it, Uzumaki-kun," she smirked.
"Will you two get a room?" Kakashi said.
Naruto made a growling noise but kept his mouth shut, even when Anko playfully remarked that it wasn't a bad idea. Silence washed over them as they made their way ever closer to their destination; remnants of the previous people who came here before started popping up. An upturned wagon here, some shredded clothes there and a few corpses everywhere. One body was still moving so they jumped down towards it in hopes of getting some information. Kakashi was the first to reach the figure and turned it over to reveal a young woman barely past twenty. Her hair was matted to her face with blood, the various rips and tears in her clothes left little to the imagination.
"What happened to you?" Kakashi asked.
"...ap...," the woman rasped.
Naruto took a step forward and leaned down close to her. "What?"
"A trap," she rasped again.
Just then a kunai with an explosive tag found its mark in the woman's chest. Kakashi and Gai instantly jumped away as Naruto took hold of Anko before following them. A moment later the woman was blown apart and causing a fair amount of dirt to be kicked up. As the dust cleared two people in red cloaks stood where the woman used to be.
"Good job idiot!" one of them, clearly a female, yelled. "He won't pay us if Naruto is blown to bits!"
"Would you relax?" the other one said, "Didn't you see them scamper off? Please they're probably ghk!-
The man, no question with how deep the voice was, was cut off as a shuriken found its way into his neck. The woman barely had time to look up before a kunai lodged its way into her eye. They both dropped dead two seconds apart,
the Jounin team jumped down to inspect the bodies.
"Wait... those cloaks and headbands... Naruto! These two they-
"I know... I know Kakashi-sensei," Naruto sighed, "they're part of a group called The Bloodmist. They're after me."
"Why?" Anko asked, "Is it because of the Kyu- Er, sorry. I mean Kurama?"
"... There will be more... there are always more," Naruto sighed.
They all quickly jumped back as the area was peppered with kunai and shuriken. As Naruto landed he just stopped a series of handsigns, stopping with the Tiger sign he shot a large fireball in the direction the projectiles came from. A couple charred bodies fell from the trees dead, an astonishing twenty more came into view no worse for wear. All of them wore red cloaks, Naruto noticed, not a higher up among them.
"There he is!" one of them shouted, "The man of the hour!"
"Just you wait blondie!" another cheered, clearly female. "Before we turn you over to Leader-sama we're gonna have a good time together!"
Anko's brow twitched and her eyes morphed into perfect white circles, "You lay one slimy finger on my Uzumaki-kun and I'll skin you alive!"
"Alright boys- Ahem!-... and girls, lets get to work!" the one in front ordered.
The gathered shinobi all moved as one before splintering off. Kakashi and Gai were surrounded by five of them, not that it really mattered, while Naruto and Anko had to fend off the rest. He knew that even in her slightly weakened state Anko could take care of herself but still, Naruto made sure to keep an eye on her as he fought. Kakashi and Gai ran into a bit of trouble with their opponents, nothing they couldn't easily adapt to, they were just stronger than they were expecting. A few well placed kunai and excellently timed jutsu had dwindled the original twenty to a mere five, the strongest five.
Once again the enemy splintered, two of them going after Naruto while the other three took on the other Jounin. The two fighting Naruto took notice when his eyes would snap over to Anko before refocusing on them. A discreet nod between them was all that was needed for one of them to jump away. Relieved that he only had to fight one person instead of two while watching Anko, Naruto barely took notice of the man that jumped away. Naruto attempted a roundhouse kick only to have his opponent duck and jump away. During the turn of his kick Naruto was able to see Anko easily fending off her enemy while Gai and Kakashi double teamed another.
Naruto caught his attacker's arm stopping the kunai that was speeding towards his back. A swift twist to break the bone before using the man's own kunai to kill him, Naruto looked up to see Anko finish off her enemy while Gai and Kakashi put in the final touches to theirs. All seemed good until the man who had jumped off earlier appeared behind Anko and threw a number of kunai with explosive tags.
'Shit! No time to warn her!' Naruto thought.
He quickly activated the seal on his kunai and teleported right behind her. It would be too much of a hassle to fumble through her coat so he did the only thing he could think of... he kicked her away. As she turned in mid air she prepared a lovely verbal assault for being handled so roughly. When her eyes were able to see where she was not five seconds ago her breath caught in her throat. Naruto just barely threw his arms up in time to protect his body from the weapons, most of the kunai landed in the bark near him while a few pierced his flesh. A moment later all the tags went off engulfing Naruto in a deformed orb of fire and smoke before he was launched out and slammed hard against the tree.
Anko quickly jumped over to the downed Jounin as Kakashi and Gai subdued the last attacker. As Kakashi roughly threw the man over his shoulder Gai carefully placed Naruto on his back before they started back towards the village.
"Can't you go any faster?!" Anko yelled.
"What?" Gai asked.
"Don't you 'what' me you freak! I know you can do the whole Gates or whatever so kick it into gear!"
"Such un-youthful language..." Gai muttered but did as he was told-ordered.
His skin turned red and he took off in a flash leaving Anko and Kakashi to continue at their own pace.
Well there ya have it... boring. And if any of you have read my old story Bonds or have seen the movie Baseketball, you should know where the wear yourself a hat line came from.
-Raidori