Author's Notes:
This is a long chapter (10'000 words) for two reasons: a) I didn't want to break the transition from one head quarters to the next in two parts and b) it's a way to make up for the potential long wait until I can update with chapter 53.
I am sorry if this chapter is occasionally silly, but what can you expect if you treat the "Zombie arc" (without zombies)? There is absolutely no realistic explanation for most of the things Komui and his Science Division come up with! But I had fun writing kid!Kanda ;3
With these two "warnings" all I have left to say is: I hope you'll enjoy it!
Disclaimer: D. Gray-Man belongs to Katsura Hoshino
Kapitel 52: Transitions
In the days following the massacre within the Black Order's headquarter, the once lively tower had fallen into silence. Only after Ellen had recovered enough to try to inquire about the damage, did she really become aware how hard the enemy had struck them.
"Half of the Science Division has fallen," Kanda told her quietly, walking beside her. Ellen looked at him with a pained expression and stopped walking. "Are you alright?" Ellen nodded and tapped her crutches against the floor with a smile.
"It's a bit difficult to walk with them, but it's better than lying in bed or having to use a wheel-chair," she answered. Ellen had been forced to keep in bed for the bigger part of a week, the matron wouldn't allow her to move because she had broken one of her legs and about a dozen other injuries were reason enough not to let her leave the infirmary. Kanda, even though he had healed, had been forced to stay as well, but the Matron at least allowed him to visit Ellen during the day. It rarely got boring thanks to that, because either she'd spend time with Kanda, the other female patients in her room or with Link. But she was really glad to see something different than the walls of the infirmary for a change. "However, hearing that the losses are this great does shock me… I have talked to some other women and all told me of friends or comrades that died… No wonder it is so silent… It seems as if the order has been abandoned…" After speaking Ellen sighed deeply and continued walking. She had calmed down over the days, but she still couldn't help but being melancholic whenever she thought about all the people that she hadn't managed to save.
"The service is about to start," Link, who was walking some meters ahead, reminded them. Ellen nodded and they walked up to the chapel of the order. Now, on the Sunday after the massacre had taken place, the order had arranged a service for the fallen members of the Black Order. Ellen, despite not being too keen on attending this funeral or any funeral in general, had managed to convince the matron to allow her to leave the infirmary for the occasion. They arrived in time to meet River in front of the doors, ready to close them.
"Ah, hello you three," River greeted with a thin smile. Ellen noticed with worry that he looked quite tired, but under these circumstances this was not all too surprising. "You're already up and about again, Ellen?"
"I wanted to attend and mourn with the others," Ellen confessed, "the matron understood and let me go. It is just a broken leg. I am fine." River smiled slightly, then the bells started ringing and River ushered the three inside to close the doors.
"Ellen…," he said when she and her two male companions sat down rather at the back of the chapel. She looked up at him questioningly and he touched her head, gently ruffling her hair. "I am sorry… You did a lot for us… And this should have been a party to celebrate your and Kanda's marriage… But it's a funeral mass instead…" Ellen widened her eyes, then she lowered her head blushing but with tears already forming in her eyes.
"It is fine… Please, you should all take your time to mourn this loss," she whispered, and then she looked up at him again, with an encouraging smile on her lips. "There will be time enough to celebrate happier things," she said and River nodded, then he patted her shoulder and walked to the front where he took a seat with Komui and the other scientists. Ellen watched the service in silence, letting her gaze wander through the dimmed church. There were cracks here as well and some of the beautiful windows were broken. Ellen had not seen all the coffins lined up in the other hall and the bodies – those that remained – had already been burnt to ashes. All that was left now was to wish their souls well and to mourn their loss. Ellen was crying silently while studying the ceiling, the voice of the priest had faded to a background murmur. She had sat here before, shaded by the darkness of a nearby column. Kanda had been beside her then, holding her as she cried. This time she reached out to him, holding him. He had different ways to mourn. Ellen knew that losing the people he had known for many years was hard for him as well, but he didn't cry. His bitter silence was enough though and Ellen cried for both of them, while Link sat next to them, watching the service without a word.
-
The time still passed slowly while everybody recovered from wounds and shock.
"I wonder when we'll move… It's been one and a half weeks," Ellen said, sitting in bed and sewing because there wasn't much else to do – Linali had been discharged last evening, as most of the other patients as well. She sighed and studied her work – she was just mending a hole in one of Kanda's shirts because she was a bored with doing nothing. "We haven't even received word yet to start preparing for the move."
"These things need more time in order to be organized properly," Link answered, not looking up from his book. "Focus on recovering."
"I have recovered already," Ellen insisted and kicked the blankets away to lift her leg demonstratively, "I still have a few bruises but I am fine." Link frowned when he saw her trousers slip back a bit to display her shin.
"This is for the matron to decide, I am no doctor," Link merely replied and Ellen sighed, picking at a loose thread, "if you are bored, then how about filling out some more forms?"
"Nice try, Mr. Link, but I am not in the mood to play that game," Ellen told him cheekily and Link snorted.
"What game?" wondered Kanda, as he came into the room. Ellen's face lit up instantly and she put her sewing aside.
"Good morning, Kanda!" she greeted and he nodded at her. "Have you heard anything about the move yet?"
"I heard that Komui's been busy with researching the change of Linali's Innocence. But Rabi said that the various departments are starting to make preparations for the move."
"So a new place for the headquarters has been found?" Ellen asked and Kanda shrugged, "oh, I wonder where it will be…!"
"You'll find out soon enough," Kanda replied indifferently, "I already started packing our stuff." The white haired girl looked at him in wonder, but then she sighed.
"We just got a new room and now we have to move again… It's a pity… It was so nice…"
"We'll get a new room in the new headquarters eventually," Kanda replied and looked at Link, "preferably one that is not connected to another room." Link ignored that remark and continued to read in silence.
"Do not be mean, Kanda. It is his duty to keep an eye on me…," Ellen tried to calm him but Kanda was not thrilled to have his wife take Link's side. But he was not in the mood to argue about such things, so he let it pass. "Are you discharged from the hospital yet?"
"Tch. That old witch kept me way longer than necessary, even though there's not one scratch left on me. All I ever do is sleep, eat and read. It's getting on my nerves!" he complained and walked over to Ellen's bed. She had to laugh at that and studied him.
"Well if it continues for longer you might gain weight!" she joked, pinching his sides, "right there! See?" Kanda groaned and pulled her hand away.
"You're the right one to talk…," he replied and Ellen shrugged nonchalantly. Kanda sat down on the bed and studied his wife; her hair was tousled (thanks to her haircut even combing didn't help much) and she wore loose trousers and a simple shirt. Added to that she wasn't really acting graceful at the moment, the way she sat cross-legged on the bed, looking bored. Certainly that's not the way Ellen Walker, or Bermont as he had been called before, would have wanted to be seen like mere months ago. Maybe it was the influence of being a woman in such a domain that made her loosen up her rigid ladylike manners. She was still very polite most of the time, but when Link pretended not to be watching and they were alone, she allowed herself to behave differently. Kanda was not entirely sure if he should approve of it or not. Having his wife more cheerful and less restrained was certainly a good thing but he would approve of seeing her move around in skirts more often. He actually missed that sight of seeing her walk around full with grace. Kanda betted that this grace was still there, but at the moment Ellen didn't bother to show it properly. Not even Link's presence urged her to fall back into very polite manners. Ellen looked up at him with a quizzical glance.
"Is something the matter?"
"You should get a proper hair cut," Kanda said and Ellen reached up, trying to flatten her rebellious hair.
"Why does that matter? It probably gets chopped off again anyway!" Ellen argued, eying Kanda's long hair with a little hint of envy. Kanda had to snort at that.
"Then what about the way you dress? You're not even wearing a nightgown anymore. What's this here supposed to be?" Kanda asked tugging at a trouser leg.
"It is more practical," Ellen replied, a stubborn pout making its way to her lips, "it is not like you to care!"
"Never mind why I care. You now chose being practical over beauty when you have the leisure to wear something else?" Ellen pulled her mouth into a put off frown.
"Do you mean to say that I am not beautiful like this?" Kanda groaned, it probably was a mistake to address this topic, having nothing to do seemed to have left Ellen with a rather aggressive mood. "No, really. This was a real question." Kanda rolled his eyes, but then he had an idea.
"How about we fight it out?" he suggested and Ellen raised an eyebrow at him.
"What?"
"Let's have a duel. If you win then I won't complain anymore. But if I win you'll get to do what I say."
"Might I remind you that Ellen is not allowed out of the infirmary yet?" Link spoke up but neither Ellen nor Kanda paid him any attention.
"Very well, Mister Kanda, but if you lose then you will not only stop complaining but will do what I say as well. That seems to me a fair deal." Link sighed in annoyance when it was agreed upon to have a sword match and the two of them left the infirmary, taking advantage of the fact that the matron was currently out of the room.
-
Their match had attracted some spectators who apparently had managed to sneak out of their infirmary beds as well. Ellen didn't really take notice of them though as Kanda demanded her whole attention. They fought using wooden practise swords seeing how Kanda still didn't have his Innocence back and it would have been unfair if Ellen attacked with her Innocence. Unfair and utterly pointless as the sword would probably just slash through him anyway. Actually the entire point of the match was irrelevant to her; she also thought that dressing in skirts would be a nice change again, but there was some rebellious streak in her that just wanted to do things differently, to not care how she looked, to not comply with what her head told her would be nice and proper. Ellen just blamed the state she was in for her changing mind, at least that was what the Matron constantly told her. Using her pregnancy as an excuse for everything seemed pretty undesirable for Ellen though because most of the time she just refused to think about herself as a pregnant woman, even though it was at times hard to forget. But Kanda seemed to be of a similar mind-set than she was. He had once called that thing inside of her (and a thing it still was in Ellen's mind) a kid, but other than the few occasions when he wanted to give her some self-confidence he avoided speaking about her pregnancy. It was there, but it was secondary.
"I cannot go on…!" Ellen panted letting herself fall on the floor, looking up at Kanda. He had broken her sword and grinned down at her victoriously. "You are really an able fighter with the sword. I cannot possible compete with you yet."
"Of course you can't! You still make too many unnecessary movements," he told her, pointing the sword at her head. "Now… How about you tie some ribbons into that bird's nest of yours?"
"Oh, just wait a moment please, Mr. Kanda," she called and the corners of her lips moved up suspiciously, "who said that I gave up?" With this she pushed herself away from the floor and grabbed his outstretched arm with her legs, slamming him to the floor. Kanda could only utter a sound of surprised protest, then his back made contact with the sand floor of the training hall. "Hah!" Ellen exclaimed in glee, clapping her hands.
"What are you, a monkey?! Fight properly!" Kanda complained, sitting up again when she let go of his arm.
"How rude! I was already at a disadvantage because you have been a swordfighter for I do not know how many years! Of course I took the liberty of cheating a bit, it is legitimate!" she replied with a cheeky grin, "how about we call it a draw?"
"That was no draw. That was a dirty trick! Didn't you say you were at the end of your power?"
"Oh, did I?" Ellen laughed and helped Kanda to get up on his feet.
"You two are hilarious, really," Rabi commented with amusement when the two walked up to the end of the training hall. Not only Rabi, but also the old Bookman, Mari, Chao Zhi and Johnny had witnessed their fight. Ellen had to blush at realizing how many people had been able to witness that rather ungraceful display.
"My, this is a bit embarrassing," she confessed, tugging her shirt down because it had slipped up a bit during the fight.
"Aw, why are you blushing, Ellen?" Rabi asked and Ellen pouted slightly, folding her arms on the stone wall that surrounded the lowered training ground. "Oh, look at this, isn't she cute?" He tugged at her hair that Kanda had rightly termed a bird's nest.
"Rabi…!" Ellen complained, hiding her face in her arms.
"Why did you fight in the first place?" Mari wanted to know, "certainly it was no marital quarrel?"
"Don't be stupid," Kanda said, folding his arms in front of his chest.
"Maybe they fought over how to name their first-born," Rabi said but Kanda just hit his leg quite mercilessly. "Ow!"
"It was just teasing, actually I agree with Kanda," Ellen said, "he wanted me to wear more dresses and maybe get a decent hair cut." The others didn't comment that, which made Ellen laugh uneasily. Maybe having her hair cut properly really was a good idea?
"About dresses, I am here to take your measurements for the new uniforms. I didn't specifically design a dress for you, but if you want me to change that…"
"Oh no, that is not necessary at the moment…," Ellen told him and Johnny nodded with a smile.
"We'll probably need to change your uniform over the next few months anyway. We'll try our best to provide a uniform suited for your needs," Johnny said, ruffling Ellen's hair. She hid her face with her hands in embarrassment, but somehow, as the others laughed and Kanda just snorted, it felt really nice. She felt quite comfortable with her comrades.
"And what are you people laughing for?" a stern voice spoke up all of a sudden and everybody tenses, knowing that the matron was standing behind them, "who allowed you to leave the infirmary, hmm?"
"We're sorry!" Rabi wailed and the previously injured ones were all ushered away from the training ground.
"You can actually leave the infirmary, Ellen. I guess you are fine, but do not overdo it. NO fighting, do you understand? And come back for check ups," the Matron said, more gently than before and Ellen smiled at her, nodding. "And the others are to immediately go back to their beds! If I see one of you strolling around the order once again, then you'll get into trouble!" No word of complaint was uttered and Ellen waved after them, laughing.
"Ellen," Link said, walking up to the two that had stayed behind. Ellen looked over at him and nodded.
"There you are, Mr. Link. I already wondered where you had gone to," she said and Link handed her something. "What is this?"
"I have just passed the post office to send my report in and I have been asked to deliver a letter to you," he replied and Ellen turned the letter around only to freeze when she saw the seal on it.
"I… It is a letter of my mother…," Ellen said with a gasp, pressing it to her breast, "oh no! In all the commotion I forgot that she was informed! What should I do?" Kanda rolled his eyes and pushed her a bit, so that she would start walking again.
"How about you read it?" Kanda suggested, "let's go to our room". Ellen sighed deeply but she nodded.
-
The room was almost bare; a lot of things had already been packed into boxes and white blankets covered the furniture. Ellen sat down at the writing table, while Kanda went to pack the rest of their belongings.
"The move will probably start soon," Link mused and sat down with his notebook. Ellen nodded absentmindedly and proceeded to open the letter. She pulled the parchment out and unfolded it.
"My daughter
It is with the utmost horror that I received your God-father information on what happened to my daughter while she was out of my protection. I must say that I cannot entirely mask how disappointed I am in you, Ellen. It pains me greatly that you did not learn to make better decisions for yourself. I know that a girl in love will commit great acts of foolishness, but I thought that my daughter would be able to withstand this.
You are perfectly aware that the weight of our family rests partly on your frail shoulders, becoming a disciple of the Black Order did not mean that you were freed from the responsibilities to your family name. I was willing to look past your decision to call yourself Ellen Walker, but I cannot and will not look on passively as you cast the honoured name of your father away from you.
I do not know the identity of the man who you decided to marry, but I cannot think about him without hard feelings seizing my heart; what kind of man must he be that he allows a young girl like you to come to shame. And shame it is, Ellen. Even if you now find yourself with a child, I would have expected you to seek my help in this matter, instead of foolishly listening to that shady Marian Cross. Your God-father was right to inform me and I cannot conceal that I am hurt that you did not do the same before him.
Other than that I wanted to inform you that I was very surprised to receive a distressed note from the honourable minister Camelot that you had refused the hand of his brother. I understand now why you did that, however, I was quite shocked when he, when we met for tea to discuss, showed me your letter. What peculiar emotion must have possessed the pen that wrote these lines? I do not know, but you left me in a very disagreeable situation.
We need to talk, Ellen, but Marian dissuaded me from coming to see you. Maybe that was for the best, because I too needed to calm down first and think about this with a clear head.
But please, at least have the decency to inform me of your current name and your health - that you owe to your poor mother.
With love,
Your mother, Charlene Bermont
P.S. For decency's sake, please give my regards to your husband"
Ellen was biting her lips very nervously while she read her mother's lines. It was not as bad as she had guessed (at least she was not disowned) but her mother's disappointment was very evident and Ellen couldn't help but feeling that she was deserving of every reproach her mother made.
"What does she say?" Kanda wanted to know when he saw that she had stopped reading. Ellen handed him the letter wordlessly and Kanda quickly read through it.
"Well…," he started, not finding the right words to comment on how Mrs Bermont talked about him. "What will you reply?"
"I do not know for sure… I think that there are no words to properly apologize…," Ellen admitted, "I know that what I did was wrong considering my upbringing, but it cannot be undone…" She sighed, "to tell the truth I'm just very happy that she did not abandon me…" Kanda remained silent, but after a while he nodded.
"Your mother probably is a good woman…," he said and Ellen looked up at him with a faint, thankful smile.
"She is…" While Kanda fell into thoughtful silence and Ellen tried to formulate a reply in her head, there was a knock on the door and Linali came inside.
"You're here after all! The decision where and when we'll move has been made. Come, let's go to hear it!" Ellen looked at her in surprise, but she nodded and they all went to Komui's office.
-
In Ellen's opinion, Komui seemed quite solemn when he greeted them and his office was in a very chaotic state, with papers and boxes everywhere.
"I called you here to organize the move. The other departments are currently receiving instructions on how things will be done," he started to explain. Ellen nodded, sitting down on the sofa between Kanda and Linali. Not many other people were present, because a lot of the exorcists were still under the watchful eye of the matron. "We have managed to secure a new building to host the Black Order. But I called you here, Ellen, because I need your help."
"Oh? How can I be of service?" Ellen wondered and Komui smiled at her, thankful that she was ready to cooperate.
"We need to employ the ark. If we use it then the entire move will be easier. We will travel to the new location with you and you will erect a gate there. Are you willing to do that for us?" Ellen smiled, even though she felt uneasy thinking about using the ark again, but she nodded. "Very well! We will pack things and depart the day after tomorrow around noon. I would be very happy if all could help once their personal belongings have been taken care of," Komui said.
"Of course," Ellen agreed and one look around Komui's office made clear how long it would probably take to pack all of these things in less than two days. Without further ado they were allowed to go, Linali following them.
"He didn't give us any information about the exact location," Linali said, "I am really curious where it is!"
"Me too!" Ellen replied, „maybe it is far away if we need to set up gates?" He friend shrugged.
"Do you need help packing?" she wondered but Kanda shook his head.
"I'm already done. Help Rabi, he's still stuck in the infirmary," he said and Linali had to laugh.
"Poor Rabi! Fine! I'll see you later then, we're bound to clean up the chaos in the science division!" Ellen sighed at the thought, but nodded and waved as Linali left.
"Are you already all set, Mr. Link?"
"I haven't brought many belongings with me," he informed Ellen and they entered Kanda and Ellen's bedroom.
"Oi, beansprout," Kanda called and when she turned to him she found him pull out her suitcase from underneath the bed. "I found that while cleaning…" Ellen walked over to him and widened her eyes when he opened the suitcase. "What is this doing here?" Stowed away in her suitcase and wrapped in a cloth, was that ominous Innocence that Ellen had collected some months ago. She almost felt sick when she thought about it and was more than happy that Linali had not come with them to see it again. Kanda pulled the dagger out, inspecting it once again. "It's Innocence, isn't it?"
"Yes… Better put it away… Please," Ellen begged. Kanda and Link looked at her with a frown, but Kanda wrapped it up again.
"Let's go down to Hebraska," Kanda suggested and it was agreed upon, even though Ellen was reluctant to go.
"Why is that Innocence in your possession?" Link wondered as they were taking the elevator down.
"On our way to China we stumbled upon a village plagued by the Innocence and its conformer…," Ellen started to explain.
"What? A conformer you say?" Link wondered and Ellen nodded.
"That's the story about Filip and his Innocence, right? I've heard Rabi mention it in passing," Kanda said and Ellen affirmed it.
"It devoured children," Ellen whispered, and Kanda looked at her, "it was then when I realized that I really had that stain which the Innocence so feverishly tried to erase on me as well… I do not like to think about it…" Neither Kanda nor Link asked about it and Ellen was very glad when the Innocence was finally delivered to Hebraska. She recalled her weakness and the temptation Filip's Innocence had been with horror and disgust. If Kanda knew what kind of coward she really was, then he'd probably reward her with a scornful glare. Ellen didn't want that, it should best remain her secret.
"It will rest within me until a different wielder appears for it," she announced and Ellen nodded thankfully.
"Will you move as well, Hebraska?" Ellen wondered. It was hard to imagine how they could transfer someone as huge as Hebraska who appeared to be bound to this underground place, to a different spot.
"I will move as well… With your help I heard," she said gently and Ellen looked at her in wonder. "The scientists will move me with the Ark," Hebraska explained.
"Oh, I see…," Ellen mumbled, "well, I hope that the new home has an agreeable place for you as well."
"Yes… even though this tower will forever be my real home. This is where I have spent over 100 years. If we abandon it, I have the feeling to abandon a part of my self as well," Hebraska confessed.
"I am sorry, Hebraska," Ellen said but Hebraska's mouth formed a tiny smile.
"Do not be…" Ellen nodded and tried smiling, but it probably wasn't very convincing. Hebraska didn't comment that though. "You should prepare for the move. We will not remain here for much longer…"
"Yes, we will no longer disturb you, Hebraska. Until later," Ellen said and waved at her, then they left and entered the elevator once again. Ellen couldn't help thinking how lonely Hebraska appeared to be, all alone at the very bottom of the tower for decades. Maybe if that war could soon be over, then Hebraska too could let go of her task to guard the Innocence.
-
Transferring all the things that had accumulated over more than hundred years, was indeed a very tedious task. After dinner Ellen and the other exorcists were asked to help cleaning the many rooms of the science division. Ellen was busily running from one room to the other, trying to bring some sort of structure into the chaotic process – nobody really knew what they were doing as Komui's order had only been "clean up, stuff things into boxes".
"I'm sorry Ellen for that chaos," River said apologetically as he handed her a mug of hot tea to revitalize her. It was near midnight and Ellen was getting tired (herself still being unaccustomed to put things into order or tidy up) so she accepted the tea gratefully. "If only that stupid Komui would take care of his own chaos…!" Ellen laughed even though there were affirmative grunts and shouts to be heard from the rest of their team.
"I guess the chaos might be the least problem we have," she said, "there are just that many rooms to take care of…"
"Well, we're not on our own, right? There are a lot of helping hands," River said, patting Ellen's head. She smiled at him and drunk her tea.
"Exactly, Mr. Wenham," she exclaimed and got up again, "so we need to continue working!" River laughed.
"Stop it already with that polite way of addressing me," he said and Ellen blushed, but nodded, "we're all some kind of family, right? You should feel at ease around us."
"I do… Thank you," Ellen said cheerfully, then she joined the others again to work some more.
-
It was past midnight when Ellen took the liberty of sitting down shortly to take a break. She was really tired and no amount of tea, cookies or coffee could keep her from closing her eyes shortly. Link, who had not been particularly helpful as of now and had no intention of changing it, noticed how not even some crashing noises and shouts from the other room disturbed her. She was leaning with her head against a tower of books that she was supposed to put in a box. But by leaning against it, the tower moved slightly and in the end it toppled over, including all the random stuff that had been put on top of it. With a loud crash Ellen dropped to the floor with her make-shift pillow.
"Ah! Ellen! Watch out, that stuff-," River called when he saw what was happening, but it was too late. Ellen shrieked when she was so brutally woken from her slumber and the first thing she saw around her was a cloud of some colourful smoke. The contents of a bottle that had been placed on top of the books had spilt and Ellen could feel the liquid on her head. But soon after that there was a strange tickling sensation and Ellen grabbed her head in shock, only to feel long white hair between her fingers.
"What? What is that?!" she shouted in surprise, jumping up from the floor.
"Not again…," River groaned, picking the bottle from the floor, "that is one of these inventions… A hair growing tonic." Ellen looked at River in disbelief, but then she was grabbing and pulling at her hair – that now fell over her shoulders to the middle of her back – still very much surprised. But she couldn't even retort a baffled reply, because there was new shouting to be heard. Ellen looked up in surprise, letting go of her hair.
"What? Are these children's voices?" Ellen wondered and with Link following her she walked to the other side of the room.
"You bunch of idiots! What's the point in inventing such things?!"
"Ah! Linali don't look, I'm losing my clothes here!" With great confusion Ellen saw Linali enter the room with two children, one of them looking incredibly sour while the other was just at a loss of words.
"Who…?" Ellen started but then the children turned to her and she widened her eyes. There in front of her were Rabi and Kanda, but both had somehow turned into children and where now trying to hold on to their much too loose clothes. Kanda paled instantly when he saw his wife looking at him.
"Oh… Ellen! What happened to your hair?" Linali wondered, shortly distracted from the two boys.
"I spilt some… some hair growing potion on me by accident… But…," Ellen explained but then she trailed off, still staring at the two previously adult men.
"The science division apparently invented all sorts of strange things… The two of them got hit by a potion as well…" Linali offered as an explanation but Ellen had a hard time believing that such things could even be invented – turning young men into mere boys seemed to be magic and not something a science division should be able to do.
"Who the heck invents such things!" Rabi protested, while Kanda stared at the floor, unable to say anything. Ellen continued eying them, but in the end she started laughing heartily, which caused Kanda to look at her in bewilderment.
"You are so cute!!" Ellen said, then she kneeled down, looking at Rabi and at Kanda.
"You think so as well?" Linali said and smiled brightly, "I didn't dare to make that remark, but they really are incredibly sweet!"
"What?! Nonsense!" Kanda shouted, but with the voice of a child it didn't sound threatening at all and Linali continued giggling. "D… Don't stare at me like that, beansprout!" Kanda hissed, putting his hands against Ellen's face, shoving her away. Just then he noticed her long hair and stopped, his protest forgotten.
"Kanda, Rabi, I'm so sorry about that!" River apologized, "we tried to hide the potions, but apparently-"
"If you didn't invent them then there would be no need to hide them!" Rabi argued and River laughed uneasily.
"Well, the effect should wear off over time, just endure it for the moment," he told them and Rabi sighed deeply. "It's already two in the morning," River said after checking his watch, "how about you all go to bed now?"
"Is that really alright?" Ellen wondered, tugging Kanda's shirt back up when it slipped over his small shoulders. River nodded and waved at them, before he retreated to continue working.
"What should we do about their clothes?" Miranda, who despite her clumsiness had not been affected by any of the strange inventions yet, wondered.
"How about we get them some clothes from Bookman? They might just fit," Mari answered and as Bookman didn't mind, it was decided upon.
"Tch. When I get to Komui I'll kill him," Kanda hissed, but Ellen just grabbed him and lifted him up. "H… Hey!" he protested as Ellen put him on her hip, smiling at him with a wide grin that gave Kanda a bad feeling.
"Link, grab Rabi! We should get ready for bed!" she announced and Rabi widened his eyes. Link frowned at the boy and Rabi mimicked the look, but in the end Rabi gave in and let himself be carried, while Kanda still opposed Ellen's tight grip on him.
"It seems that Ellen is enjoying herself…," Linali commented and had to laugh.
-
Ellen did indeed enjoy herself a great deal. When she was a bit younger (actually, until she had been forced to leave home with Marian Cross) she had spent a lot of her time with the various dolls that she had been given – dressing them, combing their hair. She always thought that if she had to chance to ever meet one, she would be incredibly fond of children. Alas Ellen was the youngest member of the Bermont-Walker family, there were no younger siblings or cousins to play with. But now she had two victims at her disposal. Rabi had soon given up protesting and was now being washed and dressed by Ellen. Kanda on the other hand was sourly sitting on a chair, waiting for Link to come with spare clothes.
"You seem to like playing mother, Ellen," Rabi commented to which Ellen laughed.
"Oh no… I am just helping you," she insisted.
"We don't need help," Kanda commented, looking anywhere but at Ellen, "it's not as if Komui's idiocy has robbed us of our mental capacities." Ellen looked at him with a pout, then she pulled Rabi's clothes over his head, which made the boy shriek.
"Ellen! How forceful you are!" he said, "your husband's watching!" Ellen pinched his cheek to make him shut up. Kanda actually was very much put-off by that display and was glad when Link came and handed Rabi his clothes.
"He is able to dress himself, there is no need to help him," Link insisted and Rabi hurried to pull the clothes over his head.
"I used to be dressed as well when I was still younger," Ellen replied.
"Maybe that was the case, but you are of a noble family with maids to do that for you. These are actually two grown up men. Do not get over-excited," he said coolly, pretty much unaffected by the insane things going on. Ellen blushed slightly, but she nodded and turned back to Rabi.
"Fine then, you can go to bed," she dismissed the red-head and Rabi quickly left the bed-room.
"I will also take my leave," Link excused himself and went to his own room, leaving Kanda and Ellen to themselves.
"Well then," Ellen said and turned towards Kanda, the spare clothes in her arms.
"I will not let myself by dressed by you," Kanda said and Ellen looked at him with a frown. The boy sighed deeply, looking away with a disgruntled expression. "Don't you get it, beansprout? For you it might be fun, but what if I don't turn back?"
"You will-," Ellen started to argue, but Kanda just turned his blue eyes towards her with a sceptical expression.
"This is no trifling matter. Not hair that grew and can be cut again. I'm a child!" Kanda's distress seemed to cool down Ellen's enthusiasm a bit and she smiled gently.
"What are you worrying about, Kanda? Even though you are a child at the moment, you will not be so forever…" She walked over to him, kneeling down in front of him to look him in the eyes, taking his little hands into hers. Kanda blushed (Ellen noticed that his face revealed a lot more expressions than usually) and looked at the floor.
"If I keep like this… Just imagine what would happen, what if my child's born before I turn back?" Ellen laughed, "that's no laughing matter, idiot!"
"Kanda… Have some faith. That won't be happening," she assured him, squeezing his hands, "and even if it did… That's nothing I wouldn't be able to put up with." Her kind smile calmed Kanda and he nodded. Ellen let go of his hands to pet his hair.
"You're a pretty child… I would be lucky if I had a son looking like you do now. He would be a most charming boy," she said and Kanda frowned at her, uneasy despite the praise.
"I hope he doesn't look entirely like I do, I have no need for a doppelganger…," he confessed and Ellen laughed, standing up again.
"Well, neither do I," she said and patted Kanda's head again, "let's get dressed for bed." Kanda complied but would still not allow her to dress him with the argument that he was not a doll. Ellen grudgingly let him have his way and finally turned towards a mirror, checking her hair. On one hand she was delighted to finally have her long hair back, but on the other hand the shadow floating behind made her unable to really enjoy her reflection. She sighed and proceeded to tie her hair into two plaits.
"The long hair really becomes you," Kanda said. Ellen smiled at him and got into bed as soon as she wore her nightgown.
"Thank you… Maybe I should not cut it?"
"Don't cut it," Kanda said instantly and Ellen laughed, then she pushed Kanda down gently, drawing the blanket up to his chin.
"Well, you better sleep now. Maybe the potion will have lost its effect by tomorrow and all your worries were in vain," she said and put a light kiss on his head, but Kanda was still uneasy. Here he was, trapped in the body of a child, lying next to his wife. And she wasn't even really disturbed by the change he had undergone. No, it even seemed like good fun to her now that she had a little boy to dress, to wash, to feed, to pamper. But he had no intention whatsoever to slip into the role of her child, when he wanted nothing more than to finally be acknowledged as her husband…
-
When morning came, Kanda was very much disappointed. After a first moment of shock, he realized that nothing of the awful idiotic Science Division induced state of his body had changed. Of course he was irritable and Ellen's cheerful smile couldn't even change that.
"Do not sulk," she told him, putting his clothes on the bed. Apparently she had woken up before him and was already dressed. This time though she didn't wear her suit, but white stockings, a long, black skirt and a white blouse. Her hair was pulled out of her face, but fell open over her shoulders. She was gorgeous looking, Kanda mused. "Come on, sleepy-head. We have to continue moving," she reminded him. Kanda snorted, but got out of bed and dressed. He did not allow Ellen to straighten his clothes, he did not allow her to brush his hair and he did not allow her to take his hand. She was put off by his constant refusal, but she was reasonable enough to not complain.
"Good morning, Mr. Link," Ellen greeted when Link came out of his room. He greeted in return and looked at Kanda.
"No change yet, I see," he said, but didn't comment it further.
For Rabi nothing had changed either and he complained about the science division when they were all having breakfast.
"We cannot change that now… It will definitely wear off," Linali assured the two boys and Rabi sighed deeply. "But I wouldn't mind seeing these cute two boys for a bit longer!" Rabi was unsure whether to be happy to be called cute or annoyed and Kanda just glared at her. Ellen was still of the same opinion as Linali and most of the people could only smile at them. To be patronized, looked down upon and made fun of, was something Rabi could deal with but for Kanda it was far worse. On top of that his own wife seemed perfectly happy that her husband was now a child.
"Ellen, take care of your little husband, he's been carrying around boxes all on his own," scientists would tell the girl with a twinkle in their eyes and Ellen would then rush to Kanda, take the box out of his hands and carry it for him.
"Carry boxes with Rabi, it is too heavy for you" she told him with good intention that were badly received by Kanda. Ellen had no problems carrying things around, her Innocence arm was really strong and she could carry two or three boxes balanced on one hand if she wanted to. Kanda on the other hand was stuck with carrying around books, folders and light boxes with Rabi.
"This is getting a bit tedious," Rabi had to admit when they had been forced to take a break, listlessly munching cookies and drinking juice. "We're really treated like children…"
"Usually the beansprout gets as red as a tomato when people mention our marriage – she doesn't even care now," Kanda added to that, "a child cannot possibly be considered a threat."
"Do you consider yourself to be a threat?" Rabi wondered, studying the boy next to him with a frown. Kanda blew out air through his nose, a discontent grin on his lips.
"She doesn't want others to think that we are intimate in any sort even though it must be obvious to anyone." Rabi sighed deeply and gulped down his juice before he answered:
"There's a difference between what happens behind your closed doors and what is visible to the public. Ellen does not want to appear as an improper girl to anybody within the order – never mind the charges against her, never mind how she is forced to fight as an exorcist. What people think of her is important." Kanda frowned. Of course he knew, he'd realized that pretty early on. She had reacted very strongly when she felt that Link assumed that they would be intimate even though they weren't really doing anything. Was she feeling intimidated by Kanda? Especially by his sexuality, even though he usually kept that in check? Did she think that now, trapped in this body, his desire for her no longer existed? That nobody would think of her as a sexually active woman because her husband happened to be a child now?
"Don't brood too much, Yu," Rabi told him, "just address anything that stands between you openly. You're married and there are some things that she has yet to face. Force her to grow up a bit – she is able to make the right decisions." Kanda thought about that, but of course he agreed with Rabi. Most of the time he wasn't really sure what kind of reasoning caused her to act the way she did. The only thing he could do was talk and hope she'd speak up.
-
Later that day a new nuisance presented itself to Kanda; Bak Chan appeared in the Black Order. He had been forced into helping but of course he was ready to bear this if it meant he could see his beloved Linali again. That was no problem for Kanda, but what did annoy him was that Bak happened to spot him before he got to Linali.
"K… Kanda Yu? What happened to you?!" he shrieked, almost dropping the stuff he was carrying around.
"As if I knew! Ask that idiotic Komui!" Kanda replied and continued putting trinkets out of Komui's desk into a small box. Bak seemed confused at first, but he soon recovered.
"Never mind that! Now that I am here I might as well present this to you," he said and handed Kanda a book. Kanda looked up with a dubious glare, but Bak didn't flinch to see a boy darting him ugly looks. Kanda took the offered present wordlessly, but upon closer inspection his face flushed red. "Seeing as your wife is pregnant, I thought it to be prudent to hand you a book on pregnancy. Study it well, Kanda!" The boy wanted to slam it right back into Bak's smug face, only that Bak's grin soon slipped. Kanda frowned when Bak leaned a bit closer, knowing that something undesirable was now coming.
"I won't lecture you, you probably have heard enough of that already. But have you told Ellen about yourself?" As a reply Kanda glared down at the book and Bak sighed deeply, "so she doesn't know… Kanda, I know it is difficult to speak about it, but you must tell her eventually. If –"
"Shut up," Kanda hissed and Bak sighed yet again, but he nodded with a pained smile.
"Fine. You still have time left, but don't let it run out without making good use of it," he advised and Kanda still glared down at the book, refusing to give Bak an answer. "Read the book! Just because you're a man doesn't mean that you can be ignorant about pregnancy!" Kanda's growled in annoyance, but as soon as Bak was gone to deliver a bouquet of flowers to Linali, he slipped off into a quiet corner and opened the book.
With the book on his lap was also how Ellen found him some time later.
"Rabi was looking for you," Ellen said, but Kanda didn't reply, "have you seen that Mr. Chan is here? It was a very pleasant surprise!" When Kanda just replied with a "hmm" Ellen stemmed her hands into her hips, looking at him.
"What are you reading that is so much more interesting than what I am telling you?"
"I am listening, idiot," he said and shut the book, looking up with a frown. "Why was Rabi looking for me?"
"Because apparently a certain boy has ditched his work and Rabi could not carry the boxes on his own, but it is fine now. We are finished for today." Kanda was rather annoyed to be called a boy, but he didn't want to argue about it in the presence of the other scientists.
"You're finished cleaning?"
"The most important documents and items have been made ready to be dispatched," Link informed them, "tomorrow Ellen will set up the gate and the things will be installed in the new headquarters. Meanwhile the order will be further emptied."
"It will probably take some more weeks until the old order is completely empty," Ellen said and sighed, "it really is a pity that we have to abandon it… To imagine that the tower will be here… empty…"
"The Vatican will probably find use for it later on," Kanda said and Ellen nodded, even though the thought didn't really comfort her.
"Anyway, we are having dinner now, will you come?" Ellen wondered and Kanda nodded, "by the way. What is that book you are carrying around?" Kanda blushed slightly, but hid it by lowering his face and growling.
"That's none of your business!" Ellen looked at him disapprovingly and Kanda noticed with a mixture of wonder and also discomfort how much her expression reminded him of his mother.
-
When back in their room Kanda sat on the bed, reading, while Ellen tried her best to formulate a reply to her mother's letter. But after two hours of fruitless writing she gave up, joining Kanda on the bed.
"Care to tell me what this book is about now?" she asked, wrapping her arms around his waist and putting her chin on his head.
"A gift from Bak," Kanda replied flatly, but Ellen didn't have to guess the book's topic for long because a quick glance over the page made it quite obvious.
"You are reading about pregnancy? Why?"
"Why? Because apparently you're pregnant. Don't tell me it's not my business to know what's happening to your body," he replied with some irritation. Ellen frowned, but then she started combing his hair with her fingers. "Stop that," he hissed.
"Do not be cross all of the time," Ellen said, laughing lightly, "but your pout looks quite adorable," she confessed and put a kiss to his cheek. Kanda shut the book and turned around.
"Stop treating me like a child!" he complained, then he grabbed her face to place a kiss on her lips. Ellen started back quite suddenly, putting her hands to her lips.
"Kanda! What-" Kanda snorted, interrupting her.
"I'm your husband!" he shouted, putting his hands to her upper arms, glaring at her. Ellen was taken aback, looking at the boy in wonder. "I'm not your child!"
"I… I know. Of course I know that," Ellen tried to calm him, an uneasy smile on her lips that soon faltered under Kanda's intense glare.
"But you treat me like one and you seem to be far more comfortable around me now!" Kanda accused her and Ellen looked at him in surprise.
"What?" Kanda let got of her arms. "Maybe I went a bit overboard, that is true. But why should I…?"
"You never protested when people called me your husband. You used to get very nervous. You got nervous just now as I kissed you."
"You surprised me!" Ellen argued, "and would you rather have me shouting at people not to think of us as a married couple?" Kanda shook his head. "Then what exactly is the problem?"
"You seem to be uneasy when I'm normal. I connected this to the fact that now you don't have worry about people thinking that we sleep together," he told her openly and Ellen was quite surprised to hear that.
"Well… It does make me slightly uneasy, that is true," Ellen said, recovered from the surprise, "I am nervous every night, wondering if you make demands, wondering about your desire… It's not as much as I am afraid of Mr. Link or anybody else hearing or knowing… I am just tense… And right now…"
"Right now I can't do anything to you…," Kanda mumbled. Ellen hesitated, but after a while she grabbed Kanda's arms and pulled him into a gentle hug. "Hey! I told you not to-"
"I am not trying to treat you like a child… You appeared sad, I wanted to comfort you," she told him and Kanda, who had been tense, relaxed a bit.
"I am not sad," he told her and she laughed gently.
"No? That's good," she replied, still embracing him. She sighed silently, but then she tightened the embrace, "It is true that I am very comfortable with you right now, but I wouldn't want this to keep on for much longer. I am sorry if I hurt you with my behaviour," she apologized.
"If the potion loses its effect you will be uneasy again," Kanda said, still letting himself be held.
"And is that such a bad thing? I am nervous because being intimate with you is still something new for me. Aren't you nervous?" Kanda frowned, looking up at her, but didn't give her an answer. Ellen laughed, patting the back of his head in amusement. "We should talk about this more when we are in private and you are back to your normal body," she said and wanted to let him go after Kanda had nodded, but he held on to her skirt.
"There's no need to stop," he said, hiding his blush by pressing his face against her chest.
"What…? Okay," she replied in surprise, putting her arms around him. Kanda closed his eyes, leaning against her. Her arms were nice, like a warm protective shield and her chest was soft to lean against. He really missed this, but she didn't need to know. What he didn't know was that Ellen too was thinking about how nice it would be to be embraced by her mother again.
-
The potion's effect actually only lasted 24 hours, so not too long after midnight the spell was broken. Ellen was glad to wake up to find Kanda sitting near the window in all of his usual glory. When he noticed her looking at him, he blushed and looked away.
"Good morning," he said and Ellen smiled at him, sitting up in bed.
"My little husband is all grown up," she joked with fake sadness and Kanda gave a start, turning around with an annoyed glare. "Don't be cross," she said and smiled, blushing slightly. "You are back to normal…" He looked at her, but then he lowered his head, frowning. In the end he got up and walked over to the bed, leaning down to her.
"I am…," he whispered, putting his hands on her shoulders, "and?" He pressed his lips against her cheek.
"I am fine with it. I decided," she said and raised her eyes, looking at him almost shyly. Then she grinned, her cheeks red, "When I pass these gates, I will leave behind the me that could not be true to you. I was doing you injustice." Kanda studied her quietly, listening to her words. "I… I am still afraid to let go entirely, I still need a little time and answers from mother. But between you and me, I want to be your wife." Kanda, unable to speak, nodded, then she reached up and kissed him.
"Thank you," was the only thing that Kanda could tell her.
-
Like scheduled Ellen boarded the train bound to their new home's destination at around noon. She was dressed in her new uniform – she had requested trousers and was glad for it because Linali (who accompanied her) wore a very short skirt.
"You can of course exchange the trousers with a skirt as well," Johnny had told her, but Ellen didn't plan to do that in the near future.
"Where exactly is this train bound?" Ellen asked Komui, who was sitting opposite her.
"A place near London. We should get there within an hour, then we'll have to take a coach," Komui replied, still being quite vague about it. "Well, with the Ark we don't need to worry about travelling."
"You didn't cut your hair after all," Linali said after a while and Ellen looked at her. "I thought you might do so…"
"Actually it is nice having it long again," Ellen said, drawing her hand though the open hair. "And Kanda did not want me to cut it either." Linali laughed.
"Something good between you must have happened, you seem so cheerful!" Ellen looked at her in wonder. "It's obvious!" The white haired girl blushed slightly.
"Things are good between us at the moment," she said and Linali smiled.
"You need to tell me more about it! How is life as a married woman? How is it to share a room with your husband?" Ellen blushed at these questions and wanted to stutter an answer, but Komui spoke up before she could:
"Linali! What are you thinking about?! Why would you want to know that?? My darling Linali will not be married to barbaric men! I won't allow it!"
"Brother!" Linali shouted but Komui pointed at Ellen and she blinked at him.
"Don't go putting strange ideas in her head, Ellen! Men cannot be trusted! I will not allow my darling Linali to be tainted!" Linali rewarded her brother's worry by kicking him out of the compartment, but Ellen was still blushing when Linali sat down again.
"What's the matter, Ellen?" Linali wondered when she saw Ellen's downcast look.
"I have a feeling that your brother sees me as a bad role model… I do not want him to think that I would have a bad influence on you… Because I… you know" Linali sighed and put her hands on Ellen's shoulder.
"Don't listen to my brother! He's an idiot! He cannot possibly think that I will never fall in love!" she said, then she blushed a bit and hushed her voice, "so I want to know about certain things."
"It is a bit embarrassing Linali," Ellen said and Linali had to laugh, but she nodded.
"It's fine! I'm just curious, but we don't need to talk about it right now! But if you need a female listener then I'll be there!" Ellen nodded eagerly.
"Thank you Linali."
-
A coach came to pick them up at the train station.
"Ellen," Link called, as she was just standing on the platform of the small train station, looking over the landscape. She nodded though and got into the carriage. "Why are you fretting?"
"I am not fretting," Ellen replied and Link merely opened his notebook. "Uhm… Mr. Li… When will we arrive?"
"I would say it still takes us about one hour. If you are tired, you can take a little nap," he told her and Ellen nodded. But she actually couldn't calm down enough to sleep. She looked out of the window, at the slowly passing landscape. It was quite familiar to her.
Ellen's anxiousness only grew as they were nearing their destination and once they passed through a gate and entered into the vast premise of what would be their new home, Ellen had paled and was balling her hands into fists, unable to say anything. In the distance she could see a towers and the black flag of the Black Order, so out of place to Ellen's eye, was to be seen over the tree tops. Ellen nearly stumbled out of the carriage, when the door was opened and Link looked at her with a raised eyebrow, but didn't say anything. Ellen couldn't speak either, because before her stood the awe inspiring gothic building of Bermont Castle.
To be continued
Notes:
See you next time in the new Black Order headquarters! :D