Author's Notes:
This is a rather short chapter in comparison to the last, but I thought you might rather want a short chapter than no chapter at all. I thought I wouldn't post anything until after my BA exam, but I needed a break *lol*. Two more weeks and I have more time for fanfiction again :3
Disclaimer: D. Gray-Man belongs to Katsura Hoshino
Kapitel 53: A Spark of Independence
The sun was sending its rays over the many rooftops, the wind was blowing gently, keeping the black flag with the order's cross moving on top of the highest tower and Ellen stood shivering in the shadow the huge castle threw on the wide open space before the main entry.
"H… How…?" Ellen whispered, staring up at the wooden gate that was slowly opening to let the visitors inside the old building. Link put his hand on Ellen's back and gently shoved her a little, forcing her to stumble up the stone stairs leading to the entry. Linali was awed, looking around as they entered the big hall behind the gates. It was brightly lit by two huge chandeliers hanging form the high ceiling, the white marble floor war polished to perfection and the high, arched windows let in the day-light from the outsides. The door was shut almost noiselessly and the little group was ushered up the wide stone stairs and into a salon, as splendid to behold as the entry hall.
"Welcome," a voice spoke up as soon the door was shut and Ellen tensed. Her eyes had been fixed on a portrait that was hanging on the wall opposing the entry showing one of her venerable ancestors solemnly gazing at the visitors, but now she slowly let her eyes travel down to the woman standing at the window. Her auburn hair was tied up neatly and she wore an imposing dark brown gown with golden embroidery and a polite but cold, judging expression. She was just like Ellen knew her, but the girl was too shocked to even continue looking at Charlene Bermont, her beloved mother.
"Mylady Bermont, it is an honour to have you receive us here," Komui said and went to her, shaking her extended hand.
"I hope you had an agreeable journey," she said politely and Komui nodded, "well then, you have received the plans of this castle. You know which rooms are at your disposal." Komui nodded.
"Yes, thank you for providing this location," he said, gladly taking the keys from Lady Bermont, "I have brought some helping hands with me to set us up. May I introduce you? My sister Linali, Ellen and inspector Link." Lady Bermont looked past him, studying Linali, Link and Ellen with a frown. Apparently she found no mistake with Link, but her eyes remained stuck to Linali's short skirt for a moment, before she studied Ellen's trousers.
"Young girls, Mister Li, should not be employed as helping hands in tasks like these. Your order should be more respectful towards the fair sex," she commented coolly and Komui laughed uneasily.
"Well, we need Ellen Walker to put up the connection with the old headquarters, there was no way around it…," he explained and Lady Bermont huffed, looking at Ellen, who stared at her shoes.
"At least try your best to protect them then," she said and Komui nodded. He turned to Ellen to find her staring at him with wide eyes. He looked at her in wonder, confused by her answer demanding glare.
"Ah! I forgot to introduce you! This is Lady Charlene Bermont, the wife of the late Earl Bermont, who has generously allowed us to use this castle and their property as our new home. She supports our institution with funds, so we are really grateful to her for her constant help." Now Ellen had to stare at her mother, who only acknowledged her with an emotionless look.
"Should you not be on your way now?" Lady Bermont wondered and Komui nodded eagerly, "if you are done, I want to have a short talk to Miss Walker. I will wait for her in my study," with this she dismissed the others and sat down at a desk, studying a letter.
"Y… Yes… I will make sure that she goes to seek you out," Komui replied with slight confusion, then he closed the doors of the salon, sighing deeply. "She is a strict lady, but I think we will be fine, she doesn't plan on staying here… But what she could want from you?"
"Oh… I wonder?" Ellen replied, trying to smile, but it was obvious that she was very uneasy, but Link was the only one who understood why.
-
Setting up the gates was not a difficult task, but it was painful for Ellen to walk through the rooms she knew so well, but she was here as a stranger; not Ellen Bermont, but an exorcist. She almost hated Komui for opening doors to private rooms, exposing their secrets to everyone.
"It's really an old castle, look at all these portraits and furniture! I wonder if there's a princess, and secret passages and a dungeon!" Linali whispered when they were walking through a gallery. Ellen refrained from indulging her curiosity with information.
"This land has been given to the family in the 15th century. The castle is an edifice dating back to that time, however there were numerous additions to the castle made as it was passed on. Each generation has erected new buildings, adding to the grandeur of the castle. We have been allowed to use parts of the castle and of the manor house of more recent date," Link offered as explanation and Linali looked at him in awe.
"I cannot wait to see more of it!" she said, eagerly advancing while Ellen just trailed behind listlessly. This was her castle! Why would her mother give it up? Why would she allow outsiders to penetrate into something this personal and venerable? They were nobility! The black order's people didn't have the right to claim these halls and rooms! But she couldn't say anything and bitterly kept quiet.
"Well, that was the last gate," Komui said, patting Ellen on the head, "you did very well! Thank you Ellen, now things can proceed smoothly!" She tried to smile but felt very downcast. "What's the matter Ellen? You can't be homesick already!" Komui joked. Ellen looked down to the floor. How could she possibly be homesick in this absurd situation?!
"Lady Bermont has asked to meet you," Link reminded Ellen and she nodded, glad that she didn't have to give an answer to Komui's question.
"Right! Now where was her office…?" Komui wondered, looking at the plan of the castle, but Ellen just turned around, walking away.
"I know where it is," she said gloomily and left Komui and Linali looking at her in wonder.
"I don't understand this!" Ellen whispered tensely as she and Link were making their way to Lady Bermont's study.
"You will be able to ask her now. But as far as I heard General Cross arranged for this," Link replied but Ellen shook her head.
"I still don't understand!" Instead of being nervous, Ellen didn't lose a moment to knock at her mother's door and entered promptly when she was called in.
"There you are," Lady Bermont said, without looking up from the letters she was reading. "Mr. Link, might I ask you to wait outside while we discuss?"
"It is my duty to watch over her," Link promptly replied and Lady Bermont looked up at him with a disapproving frown.
"I am well aware of that, but I request you to leave the room. While I am still here there is absolutely no need for anybody to watch over this girl." As Link showed signs of protest, she glared at him with piercing eyes, "I am the owner of this castle and therefore expect people to follow my orders. If you cannot agree with this then you are free to complain to Malcolm Leverrier about it, but you will leave this room while I talk to her." Link hesitated, but then he nodded, bowed and left the room. Lady Bermont watched him leave, then she looked at Ellen. "Now, kindly shut the door, child." Ellen obeyed wordlessly. The exorcist had hope that the inevitable confrontation with her mother could have taken play in different circumstances. She would have liked to prepare, to face her as Ellen Bermont, like her mother knew her. But here she was; an exorcist, awkwardly standing in front of her mother's desk. Fear and shame weren't the only emotions that tormented Ellen at the moment. The shadow of suspicion, doubt and mistrust were pressing upon her heart and she could not make them go away. Why was she here? Why did she support the Black Order? Why was the castle their new home? Why did she know a Noah's lullaby? However, the questions and accusations died on her lips as her mother got up from her chair.
"Well? It has been five months, do you not want to at least greet your mother properly?" Charlene walked around the massive table.
"I… It is an unexpected pleasure, mother," Ellen replied stiffly, making a courtesy. Charlene looked at her disapprovingly.
"What mockery…," she said lowly, studying Ellen from head to toe with hard eyes, but then she pointed to an armchair. "Take a seat." Blushing, Ellen nodded with a tense "yes mother", sitting down opposite her mother after the lady had assumed her seat. "How you are changed, Ellen," she started, folding her hands in her lap, "your attire aside, you used to be lively, but now you seem cold."
"Cold, mother?" Ellen wondered and Charlene looked up at her.
"The way you look at me you seem to be shocked into a stupor," she accused and Ellen hung her head. "I will come right to the point," her mother continued without losing any time and the girl nodded. "You are a married woman now." Ellen tensed, but she nodded once again, "and you did contract this marriage without your family's consent."
"Yes, mother, I cannot deny it," Ellen replied and looked at her mother when she heard her sighing deeply. She was touching her forehead with her fingers. "I know that the shame I have brought you-"
"You fool! That is not it!" the woman cried in agitation and Ellen widened her eyes in surprise. "Young girls can be overcome by emotions and despite the teaching of their parents make foolish mistakes. It was my fault to let you leave your home without properly guarding you. I wanted to keep you from it, from that temptation. I wanted to introduce you into society, I wanted to engage you to a respectable man, but not this early...! It's far too early to have you married!" She looked at her child with a pained expression. Ellen kept her silence, but she was touched by her mother's pain. "Are you really pregnant?" Ellen blushed again, but she nodded and Lady Bermont covered her eyes with her palm. "Oh, my foolish child… my poor child…!" Ellen got up from her chair and Lady Bermont opened her arms to embrace her.
"Mama…," Ellen whispered, "I am so sorry". Charlene breathed in deeply, letting go of her daughter but pulling her down on the sofa beside her.
"That you were intimate with a man to this extend… You were taught to make better judgement Ellen… But I could have overlooked it, we could have kept it a well guarded secret. Even your pregnancy could have been dealt with."
"How…?" Ellen wondered silently.
"I could have adopted and raised it as my own or we could have given it to your father's sister. You know that your aunt does not have children of her own." Ellen had reckoned that this option existed and she might have accepted the offer, however… "We could have solved the problem, Ellen. We could have solved any problem if you had just confided in me!"
"I did not know how to break the news to you and my marriage was decided upon too fast to really make up my mind," Ellen justified herself and her mother shook her head with an angry expression.
"I know. But the fact that you did not tell me in time forfeited all your chances of a secure marriage for you. I would commend you on the fact that you married the child's father, but considering who you are, Ellen, I cannot but reprimand you for it!" Ellen pressed her lips together, feeling uneasy. Charlene got up from the chair, walking to her desk. "Lord Mikk would have been a good match for you. He expressed honest interest in you, Ellen." Ellen couldn't help snorting at that and Charlene raised an eyebrow at the indecent behaviour.
"I doubt that he had an honest interest. His intentions could not have been honest," she replied, but seeing her mother's perplexed expression, she added: "he did not know me when he proposed."
"Did your husband know you when you decided to celebrate an early wedding night?" Ellen blushed at that and didn't say anything else anymore. "I thought so."
"But Kanda is honest and virtuous, his love for me is true," Ellen argued after a while, but her mother snorted.
"Well, I am glad that Mr. Kanda loves you, but that does not change the fact that you, Ellen Bermont, have done an unacceptable thing in marrying someone without footing in the high circles we move in."
"He proved to be of a far more noble disposition than I did! And if it is money and a title that he's lacking then our family has enough to-"
"Ellen, check your tongue," Lady Bermont interrupted her loudly, "I very well understand that what you say is true for you, it might have been true for me too, but not in these circumstances. You were born into this family and there are not only luxuries to this life, you know that. Face the facts Ellen – this marriage cannot stay this way."
"What?" Ellen asked in surprise, "you cannot dissolve it!"
"As much averse that I am to working with him, I have already asked your uncle to look into the matter. This marriage cannot be legal and I am sure that you know that." Ellen was speechless, but for the first time since she could recall, she started to get angry with her mother. This was getting out of hand too fast for Ellen to moderate her temper and growing frustration.
"And if you make me an unmarried woman again, how do you plan to sell me then?" Ellen asked in agitation and Charlene narrowed her eyes, "what Lord with honest intentions will take me then? I am not beautiful, I am not virtuous and I have a child. Do you, the head of this noble family, intent to lie to these men?" Charlene was rather taken aback at hearing her usually obedient daughter talking to her like this and for a short moment she felt pride well up in her, but she cast it aside for a more appropriate moment.
"We will see," Charlene replied, assuming a cold expression again, "meanwhile you should prepare to take off these trousers and change back into your dresses. It is high time to take you back." Ellen frowned and got up from the sofa.
"You may have called me back to the halls of Bermont castle, but I am not here as your daughter. I am an exorcist and as such will I stay here," she said, then she bowed shortly, "now I must be on my way, I have made Mr. Link wait long enough. Good evening, mother." With this she turned around and pulled the door open, almost startling Link when she forcefully closed it again.
"You-"
"Do not speak to me now!" Ellen hissed and hurried along the corridor. Link seemed surprised, but he silently followed her. She only came to a halt some moments later after running up a staircase into a deserted corridor. Link stopped as well, but then Ellen turned around and threw herself into Link's arms, crying. The young man was shocked, but he returned the hug hesitantly.
"What happened? Did she react badly?" Ellen shook her head, but continued sobbing. Link sighed, patting her head.
"It was the first time I spoke back to her like that," she said after a while and took the handkerchief Link offered her.
"Now you are afraid of the consequences?"
"No, I am not. She is not cruel, what made me cry is that I finally dared to clearly state that I have been changed by becoming an exorcist. I can't go back. I won't go back! But this is like letting go of my mother's hand."
"That what it is like to be growing up, we all have to take that plunge," Link told her. Ellen wiped her eyes and laughed a bit.
"The cold water just shocked me a bit, but it's fine." Here she sighed and handed Link back the handkerchief. "And I was a bit too agitated again, I forgot to ask her about other things…"
"There is enough time to do that later on. It is tea time now, let us have some dessert," Link advised and Ellen was not averse to drown her little sorrows in a sea of sugar.
-
Link left her for a short moment while the two were sitting on the stairs of the entry hall, eating cake that they had gotten from the chef.
"It has been a long time since I've been all alone," Ellen mused, looking up at the glittering chandeliers, a fork in her mouth. She sighed deeply and put the plate down, feeling listless. It was an unsettling sensation to sit in this hall as a mere stranger. She was no real stranger, but she had decided to be one for the sake of the Black Order. Alone, she was left to ponder some fond childhood memories that were connected to their property, but her mind always wandered back to the conversation with her mother. Had she been too rash, too disrespectful? Of course she still agreed with her mother that the proper conduct for a lady of her standing was to marry someone that was "worthy", but that this only equals to a worth in money and status was disheartening, now that she already made the decision to not reduce Kanda to this kind of worth. She knew that this was how their world worked, but even their world couldn't undo things. How was she to deny the ring on her finger and the baby in her womb? Surely no husband, no matter how keen they were on possessing such a nice trophy as a Bermont daughter (which her mother keenly translated as having honest intentions), would agree to marry a girl that blemished. She had been naïve before and got her proper reward for it even though she had been lucky enough to have Kanda. She should not try to challenge that luck again.
"Ellen," Link called as he came back into the entry hall and Ellen stood up, "come with me." The girl looked at him in wonder, but followed into the reception hall were she was surprised to find many people, among them Rabi, Bookman and her uncle.
"Yo, Ellen! Nice place, isn't it?"
"Rabi! What are you doing here? Weren't you meant to come tomorrow?" she wondered.
"We have business here," Bookman replied and then Leverrier walked up to her.
"Uncle…"
"Thank you for your hard work, Ellen. You must have been surprised," he said with a smile and Ellen frowned.
"Indeed, what is the meaning of this?" Ellen demanded and Leverrier raised his hand to appease her.
"You will know in a minute, come with me now," he said and started walking. Ellen hesitated, but Link urged her to go and she followed with an uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach.
-
Leverrier led her into a room where she was asked to change out of her uniform.
"Why this?" Ellen wondered out lout, looking at the simple white dress lying on the table before her. Strangely dressed guards were standing at the door, but Ellen couldn't even tell if they were watching her because they wore masks. She changed silently and handed one of the guards her uniform, then the door was opened to reveal her uncle.
"I do not understand," Ellen said but he just shook his head and asked her to hold out her arms to the other guard. She did after a moment of hesitation and was surprised when the guard put papers with scribbles on them around her Innocence arm. They felt very heavy and she nearly stumbled when she tried to counter the heaviness of her arm. A few more charms served to tie her hands together and Ellen was starting to worry.
"It won't harm you, Ellen," Leverrier said to appease her.
"You plan on questioning me, do you," Ellen stated, "I am not to come with you as an exorcist, but a potential traitor." It was hard for her to keep bitterness and indignation out of her voice. Her uncle seemed to regret having to resort to this, but he still nodded gravely. "Why now? Before, the fact that I was your niece spared me this indignation."
"Because you will receive answers and there is no way to tell how you will react to them," he replied, "it pains me, Ellen, to have to do that to you, but it's better that way, for everyone involved and you especially." Ellen lowered her head, the impending doom making her feet heavier than the chains on her arms did. The doors of a room were opened to her and in the dim light she could see Rabi leaning against a wall, studying her quietly. Ellen pressed her lips together nervously, but then she realized that her uncle had not followed and the doors shut after her and her guards. The early evening sky was darkened by clouds and the first drops of rain started to hit the high windows.
"General Cross…," Ellen spoke up as she perceived the man standing at the window, his back turned towards her. As nobody spoke up, she breathed in deeply, clenched her hands into fists and tried to calm herself before asking the important questions. "My family is somehow connected to the 14th and the Earl's side, am I correct?" Cross turned around slightly, studying the young woman standing at the other end of the room in a simply white silk dress and her white hair openly falling over her pale shoulders. She seemed like a spirit, even though it was her that was haunted by this family's curse.
"Yes." And Ellen braced herself to finally learn the truth.
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To be continued
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Notes:
:D