Author's Notes:
I started this chapter soon after uploading the last one… Then I let it rest for a bit, nearly finished and hit a writer's block… It's been sitting around for over a week without being completed… I'm sorry about that...
Lot of talking and some exploring inside of this chapter! :D
Disclaimer: D. Gray-Man belongs to Katsura Hoshino
Kapitel 55: Exploring the Castle
The sound of the wind shaking the window panes at irregular intervals and the rain were the only things Ellen could hear. Kanda still had his arms wrapped around her, his cheek resting on her head. Ellen's head was framed by his black hair and she could peek through the strands, but the only thing she could see was the shadowy shape slowly moving within the window's reflection. The shadow had moved from the background into the foreground, making it hard for Ellen to even spot her own reflection in the glass. She tightened her fists, grabbing the uniform on Kanda's back. He shifted slightly when he felt it and lifted his head off hers.
"What?" He asked and Ellen silently exhaled and breathed in again, shaking her head.
"What will it be like to turn into a Noah?" she asked, letting go of Kanda. He drew back and looked at her when she sat up straight again, averting her eyes from the window. Kanda looked at her with a confused expression.
"I-" There was swift knocking at Ellen's door and a moment later Link entered.
"Excuse my interruption, but with your permission I will enter again," he said. Kanda glared at him.
"You are not needed here," he hissed, but Ellen lifted her hand, beckoning Link in.
"Kanda, this is my room," she told him and Kanda snorted, "please come in." Link nodded and closed the door, then he walked towards them, taking a seat in an armchair opposite Ellen and Kanda. Kanda was apparently sour that they were disturbed by the inspector, so he stubbornly refused to speak up again.
"Disregarding the fact that I still do not believe that becoming a Noah will be my fate, I cannot imagine what will happen now," Ellen said, still addressing Kanda. He folded his arms in front of his chest, looking at her from the corners of his eyes. "It just adds another worry to the pile of anxieties… After all, before I could calm myself by telling that if in doubt I just need to act as an exorcist. I would not have to worry about us, Kanda, I would not have to worry about mother, I would not have to worry about Mana… I could just focus on my task as a soldier. But now I was called back to a place where simply being an exorcist is quite difficult…"
"Why? This castle might belong to your family, but you are not back into the society you used to belong to. Once your mother leaves it will just be our headquarters," Kanda told her, but Ellen frowned.
"And am I to ignore my wardrobe filled with my old dresses, my toys, the rooms I have fond memories of used by strangers? It is true that headquarters became a home for me, but home did not need to become headquarters," she told him, "I cannot just forget that I was supposed to be the heir of this family when walking though the century old castle. You cannot possibly think that this is to be achieved by me." Kanda did not retort anything and Ellen sighed.
"I think this is something you need to cope with," Link told her, "your mother will not simply disappear out of your life. Even though you became an exorcist and it is usual for exorcists to be completely severed from their family, your mother will not allow you to liberate yourself from it."
"I do not want to liberate me from it. I enjoyed my life and I think it is awful that one has to give up one's family and friends," Ellen replied with a pained expression. "No… Of course I will come to cope with it over time… I will show her how I redefined myself as an exorcist and hope that my determination will earn my mother's approval…" Ellen lowered her head, looking at her folded hands. "However… When I become a Noah… how will I be able to feel at home here? There is no place for a potential traitor among the exorcists," Ellen whispered and she clenched her hands, "will not everyone look at me with suspicion? Will I not be an undesired pest inside my own house? What if I… what if I fall and become a danger to you all?"
"Fall?" Kanda wondered in surprise, looking at his wife.
„You mean like Suman Dark I assume," Link said and Ellen tensed, but nodded. "I doubt this will happen. As long as you do not betray your Innocence you will be fine. If you allow the Noah's power to awaken with the determination to use it for our side, then the Innocence must accept that resolve and accommodate the new power source."
"Is that your great plan?" Kanda suddenly asked with disdain, glaring at Link. "Just on that assumption you want to force her to become a Noah?! There is no guarantee that her Innocence will accept the process! Just one wrong action, one wrong thought can get her into the state of a Fallen One!" While Ellen was quite surprised to see Kanda react in such a way, Link remained perfectly calm.
"We have reasons enough to believe that the Innocence would have backfired against her long before, if the Innocence rejected the memories. The memories were inside of her since she revived Mana Walker, the only difference is that she is now aware what it is," Link told him. "She just needs to be in control…"
„And what if it backfires now? She is a parasite type after all! The strain on her body is already great!" Ellen lifted her hands, trying to get Kanda to calm down.
"Kanda… Kanda don't get this worked up. This was not Link's decision to make," she told him and Kanda snorted in irritation.
"You can't be fine with it!"
"Of course I am not fine with it," Ellen told him, shaking her head, "and I think my fear is justified."
"If you stay within the order, there is nothing for you to worry about. You will not be considered a traitor and the Vatican will provide support," Link swiftly replied.
"Tch, nonsense," Kanda muttered, but Link ignored him.
"Therefore, you can go on as before. Concentrate on your duty as an exorcist and things will fall into place on their own account." Ellen lifted her hand to her forehead, rubbing it.
"I try to…," she said, "but I cannot be as confident as you are…"
"What will happen if she cannot control the Noah?" Kanda asked after a while and Ellen looked at him with worry.
"That will not-"
"What will happen?" Kanda repeated, interrupting the inspector. Link appeared to be disgruntled, but he did not refrain from answering:
"That would be unfortunate. But if Ellen strays from her path and cannot be called back again, then there is nothing to protect her from being labelled a traitor. And if the Innocence will not punish disobedience, then the exorcists – you – will." A shiver ran down Ellen's spine and she first looked at Kanda, who studied her silently, and then she averted her eyes. Kanda snorted.
"That will not happen," he said and Link nodded.
"Yes, that was what I was telling you," he said. In the ensuing silence Ellen tried hard no to think about what would happen if she was indeed too weak to go against whatever shadow tried to take over her body, but it was really difficult to do. Kanda's assurance that at least he would stay by her side, sounded more like an additional danger now – either for him if he would keep his promise and stay with her or for her if he did in fact put his duty as an exorcist above his feelings for her.
"I… I hate this," Ellen whispered after a while, making both men turn their heads in her direction. Ellen pressed her lips together. "Why does this have to happen? This is just so wrong…!" She got up from her seat. „Excuse me, but I need to go out for a bit, dwelling on this subject makes me sick." Kanda got up and followed her and Link, as Ellen was walking out of the room, had to get up as well.
"Where do you want to go?" Kanda asked Ellen and she thought about it.
"It's still raining…," she started but stopped when she saw Linali, with a piece of paper in her hands, turn into their corridor. "Oh, Linali!" The girl looked up and a relieved smile appeared on her face.
"I found you!" she said and walked up to her friends, "this castle is really big, I even needed directions!" Linali folded the paper and put it away, smiling at Ellen.
"And? Why did you want to see me?" Ellen wondered and Linali nodded her head towards Link.
"I actually have been asked to call Mister Link to Leverrier, he is waiting in the manor," she explained and Link lifted an eyebrow. "I was told that I would find you in Ellen's apartments."
"And my watch duty?" Link asked suspiciously.
„It apparently won't take long…," Linali told him. Link was not entirely convinced, but if Leverrier ordered him to come, then it was more important than keeping watch. He nodded shortly, then he left the little group.
"Well… You've been in your room the entire time! Don't you get nervous after a while?" Linali wondered and Ellen sighed deeply, nodding. "By the way, hello Kanda." The young man acknowledged her with a nod, but didn't say anything.
"Of course I do. That is why I asked to go out a bit and I did not really feel like waiting for his permission…" Linali groaned, shaking her head.
"What is going through their heads?! They cannot just lock up an exorcist!"
"We cannot help it… I need to make the best of the situation…," Ellen told her with a smile.
"Hmm…," Linali mumbled unhappily, but then she clapped her hands, "I know! How about we explore the castle? What I have seen of it so far is really splendid! I wonder if there are ghosts!"
"Ghosts!" Ellen shrieked with her cheeks drained of colour „No! There are no ghosts!" Linali laughed and Ellen shivered, shaking her head at the thought.
"Well? How about we go exploring?" Kanda looked at Ellen to see if she felt uneasy about it, but she was smiling.
"Linali… There is something I need to tell you first," she said and Linali looked at her in wonder. "I know this castle pretty well. Admittedly, not all of it, but quite a deal."
"How?" Linali asked in surprise, "have you been here before?"
"Yes… Do you remember Lady Bermont?" Ellen asked and Linali nodded, „she is my mother." The Chinese girl was silent for a while, but then she widened her eyes.
"Your mother?" she repeated and Ellen nodded, "this is… this is your castle?! Are you a princess?" Ellen had to laugh at that and shook her head.
"No! By no means, no!" she replied, taking Linali by the arm, guiding her through the corridor, Kanda following silently.
"But your family owns a castle!" Linali argued, but then she thought of something else and stopped, holding on to Ellen. "But this means… The Black Order invades your home…! Oh Ellen! This is not right! Why didn't my brother do something against it?" Ellen sighed.
"It is fine… If it is my mother's will to allow the order to make the castle their headquarters, then I have to accept this…" Linali looked at her with a troubled expression but Ellen smiled at her.
"Did you not want a tour?"
"But Ellen… It is yours…," Linali protested.
"We only used it from time to time. And are you not my best friend? You certainly are allowed to see. And maybe I feel up to boasting a bit about it, not ever little girl used to have a castle as her playground. What do you say?" Linali hesitated, but she was really curious, so she gave in after a while.
"Fine… But it still makes me a bit uneasy…," Linali confessed and they walked on. "Did you know about it, Kanda?"
"Not until earlier today… The beansprout likes to keep her secrets," he replied and Linali had to laugh at that, while Ellen looked indignantly at him.
"Oh and you don't?" she asked, earning herself a blank expression and more of Linali's giggles. "I did not mean any harm though Linali," Ellen continued, turning to her friend. Linali smiled warmly and nodded.
"Of course not. You never do, Ellen… But if Lady Bermont is your mother… Doesn't that mean that you should be Ellen Bermont as well?"
"Yes," Ellen said and Kanda snorted, "well, I used to be Ellen Bermont," she corrected herself. "General Cross considered it safer for her and me if I take on the name of my uncle, Mana Walker. Well, Walker is my mother's maiden name, so I guess it was fine using it as an exorcist…" The tour through the castle was mostly spent with Ellen talking about the decoration, explaining the use of the rooms and occasionally making remarks about people on portraits. Linali found it immensely fascinating and even Kanda paid a considerable amount of attention.
"Are you going to learn the family tree by heart now, Kanda?" Linali wondered jokingly as they were in a study where a parchment with a family tree exposed in a cabinet had caught Kanda's attention.
"Don't be stupid," Kanda replied with an annoyed snort, "Your family line isn't dying out," he commented after a while and Ellen walked up to him. "You have many relatives."
"Of course it is not dying out, but my father was the head of the family and he passed all of his possessions on to my mother or me. Therefore it is important for me to marry well and to have children to ascertain that our bloodline and the possession is passed on. Of course, it could have been passed on to a cousin or uncle of mine, but my mother does not want that," Ellen explained and Kanda made a grimace at the parchment as if it had offended him.
"There is no need to worry about offspring now, is there?" Linali asked innocently, but with a smile on her face which caused Ellen to first pale, then blush.
"I… I guess so…," she replied embarrassedly and Kanda snorted.
"We must do better than your parents though," Kanda commented and Ellen pinched his upper arm. "Stop that!"
"You stop saying stupid things!" Linali laughed and shook her head.
"I wonder if any of these ancestors of yours is haunting this castle!"
"No! Linali!!" Ellen put her hands over her ears and shook her head, "I spent years and years trying to sleep alone because I was afraid of ghosts!"
"Tch, this really is a pointless fear," Kanda commented, "let's go on." Ellen agreed and was pulled out of the room by the eager Linali.
"The imagination of a child surrounded by portraits of dead family members is rather vivid," the white haired girl informed Kanda but he just rolled his eyes.
-
Bit by bit they went through a big part of the castle until they arrived at a dead end on the third floor.
"From here one sees the new manor quite well," Linali commented, looking out of the window. The three story manor house was connected to the castle by an arcade going though a beautiful flower garden.
"Most of the important things are in the new manor house because it has modern luxuries and is therefore more convenient…," Ellen explained. "When only mother and I visited the castle we usually stayed in the manor."
"While I was looking for your room I saw a lot of workers about, I think they are making adaptations so that the various divisions can work properly," Linali said, "do you think your mother does not mind?"
"I do not know… She does not like strangers meddling with her things, but apparently there seems to be a benefit in allowing the changes to happen. And it's not as if this castle is static – it is constantly changed with every passing generation."
"I'm sure the ghosts don't like it," Linali remarked and Ellen pouted. "Oh, come on Ellen. There's no need to be afraid! You've got Kanda now, you don't need to sleep on your own!"
"We don't share a room," Kanda said and Linali looked at him in surprise.
"Why?" Ellen shrugged.
"But I am not alone, Mister Link keeps me company," Ellen said and Kanda frowned in obvious displeasure. "But you could sleep in my room, my bed is big enough," Ellen suggested and Linali nodded.
"If I get lonely I'll sneak into your bed," Linali said and Ellen smiled, "and if there's some space left, maybe we'll allow Kanda in as well, what do you think?"
"Oh I don't know yet. Should we?" Ellen asked thoughtfully, then the girls laughed. Kanda's mood wasn't really ameliorated by the giggling though.
"What are we doing here? It's a dead-end," he demanded to know.
"Ah, yes," Ellen said and stopped laughing. She put her hand on the tapestry hanging on the wall and pulled it to the side, revealing a white door.
"A hidden door!" Linali exclaimed with glee.
"There are lots of doors behind the tapestries, but this one is locked. Mother says the rooms behind it were supposed to be renovated, but because my father died it was never completed… I've never been inside and I haven't been able to obtain the key yet." Linali clapped her hands together.
"A door that was not opened for more than ten years! How exciting! Do you think your mother will ever give you the key to it?" Linali wondered and Ellen let the tapestry fall back into place.
"I do not know. Maybe it is connected with painful memories of my father? I do not want to harass her with these rooms even though I am curious. If you look up to the rooms you can only see white curtains in all of the windows," Ellen told her.
"Have you ever tried getting in?" Linali wondered and they walked back to the stairs to descend.
"I have, yes. I searched for a way through hidden doors but I have not found any leading there yet. And, but don't tell my mother this, I have tried climbing up to the window once, but the windows were locked."
"You climbed up to the third story?!" Linali asked in surprise and Ellen nodded.
"It's no big surprise coming from the idiot who climbed up to the Black Order," Kanda said with a snort and Ellen blushed.
"Don't be mean!" the girl complained.
"And what did you see?" Linali asked, ignoring Kanda's comment, and Ellen put her fingers to her chin, trying to remember.
"Nothing much actually. A completely white room, all furniture was covered by white blankets. But there was a golden box standing on the mantelpiece of the fireplace. I couldn't look for long because Mana discovered me."
"You do quite dangerous things, Ellen," Linali said and laughed, Ellen couldn't help smiling as well. "What do you think was in that box?"
"Probably nothing at all. Mother keeps all the important documents with her…," Ellen told her and they arrived at the ground floor. "How about we get something to eat now?"
"Ah, yes! Wasn't the dining hall this way?" Linali wondered and pointed in one direction. Ellen nodded and they went to the new dining hall. When they arrived Ellen found that the hall had been adapted so that people could order their food at the other end of the hall.
"It is a bit inconvenient with this make-shift solution, because the entry of the kitchen is not directly linked to the dining hall," Jerry – who had left the kitchen to see how things worked – commented, "but I'm sure we will find a better solution." They ordered something to eat and sat down next to a window, where the curtains had been drawn to the side to let in some light.
"Ah, there is Rabi!" Linali spoke up when they were leaving again and waved at him. Ellen saw how Rabi hesitated, but then came to the, a grin firmly in place.
"Yo! Also here for a bite to eat?"
"We already had something. We are actually on our way to continue our tour through the castle," Linali explained, "how about you join us?"
"Ah, I'd love to but I have to pass," Rabi replied with an uneasy laugh, "I'll see you guys later!" With this he rushed off to the other end of the hall, leaving Linali quite confused.
"I wonder what his problem is," the girl said, "why would he pass up on an opportunity to explore the castle? With a guide even!"
"Let him be," Kanda said with a dismissive snort, and turned around to leave, "let's go to the basement." Ellen followed, but she was a bit low spirited because she couldn't help assuming that Rabi's reluctance was due to the fact that he had been present during Cross and her talk.
"He knows that I am bound to become a Noah… Does he doubt me…?" Ellen wondered to herself, but was called out of her thoughts when Linali pulled open one of the doors leading to the basement.
"Ah, sorry you guys, but you can't go down now!" Somebody called them and they saw River and Komui walking up to them. "We are currently trying to install electricity so that we are able to work properly. There are too many workers running around, you would only get in the way," River told them.
"Oh, well… Another time then, Ellen? How about we go see the gardens now? It stopped raining after all," Linali suggested, but Komui interrupted them with a cough.
"Linali… I need you to come with me now," he said and Linali looked up at him. "I'm sorry to interrupt your fun." His eyes met Ellen's for a second, but he averted his look quickly. The two scientists left and Linali looked torn for a moment, but after a while she excused herself.
"We will meet at dinner!" she said, then she hurried after Komui and River. When they were gone Ellen sighed deeply.
"Let's go back up…," she said unhappily.
"What was that about?" Kanda asked in a low voice and they walked back to the stairway.
"I have a feeling it is the same as with Rabi… Apparently they do not really know how to react to the fact that I seem to be turning into… well, you know what," Ellen whispered and Kanda frowned.
"They aren't that stupid. Why would they doubt you?"
"Why would Rabi avoid me? And why would Komui suddenly call Linali back?" Ellen countered and Kanda didn't know how to reply to that. "I… do not want to believe that they doubt me either… It is an awkward situation though…" They arrived at the top of the stairs and Ellen looked at Kanda.
"Where is your room?" she wondered and Kanda pointed to the left, "Should we-"
"Ellen?" Ellen stopped and turned around and saw her mother in the hall at the foot of the stairs, walking a few steps upwards. "I was looking for you." Ellen froze immediately and almost took a step behind Kanda, but there was no point in hiding behind what she wanted to be hidden. "Why were you not in your room?"
"I… I was giving my friends a tour through the castle… It is supposed to be their home now as well…," Ellen told her and Charlene Bermont arrived at the top of the stairs, silently studying the two young exorcists. Apparently she was pleased to find Ellen wearing a dress and had no problem with Kanda either, at least her face wore a calm expression.
"I see. And how do you like the castle, sir?" Charlene asked, addressing herself to Kanda. The young man was well aware of who he was talking to and was therefore a bit shy to reply just in case he said anything stupid to his mother-in-law.
"It is very impressive and in a remarkable condition for a castle this old," he replied and Charlene nodded.
"What did you want of me?" Ellen asked, trying to cut any conversation between the two short, but she knew that this was a pointless endeavour. Charlene, who had been intently studying Kanda, turned her eyes away from him to look at her daughter.
"There is a certain issue we need to discuss."
"Well… I agree. There is something I need to ask you as well…," Ellen replied and Charlene raised an eyebrow, but she nodded.
"Do you? Well, then how about you come to the manor with me?" she invited the girl and then she turned to Kanda. "Will you find your way back on your own?"
"Oh, he…," Ellen started, looking at Kanda with an uneasy smile.
"I am on my way to the gardens, so I'll accompany you a bit," Kanda said and Ellen's mother, despite being both surprised and a bit unwilling to have an exorcist near the manor, nodded. Ellen wanted to groan, because she could almost not stand the tension, but she kept quiet and followed her mother to the door.
"You kept everybody within the order in the dark about your heritage?" Charlene asked when they walked under the arcade. She chose not to comment that Kanda followed them.
"It was not really my decision… But there are some people that know, Kanda does, for example," Ellen said silently and looked over her shoulder. Charlene followed the direction of her eyes.
"So this is Yu Kanda then?" Kanda, not being the one talked to, kept his silence.
"Yes… He is…" Charlene turned around again and they arrived at the manor house. It was a building made out of white stones with wide, symmetrically arranged windows on all three floors. Most of the shutters were closed and it did not seem like it was inhabited. But it did have the same atmosphere of abundance and luxury that the castle had; already the entrance hall had a white marble floor and a marble stair leading up. All the walls were lined with pictures and golden lamps. Surprisingly, Charlene did not say anything when Kanda entered as well, even though Ellen thought it was a bit daring of him to do so. She shot him a troubled look, but he ignored her silent protest.
"Tea is already prepared," Ellen's mother said, walking into her office, leaving the doors open for the other two to come in. She sat down in a red armchair, looking like an imposing queen, even while pouring tea into cups. "There is no longer a need to reveal your noble name anymore, now is there?" Charlene asked after a while, a faint smile on her lips, but when she raised her eyes to look at the two young people standing in the door, her face was rather stern. Ellen froze immediately and clenched her hands into fists. Charlene looked at Kanda and he was uncertain if he should say anything to her.
"Actually, this manor was supposed to be off-limits for the exorcists," she started and Kanda opened his mouth to say something, but Charlene cut him off. "It is really flattering that you liked the castle, Mister Kanda," she continued and stood up again, glaring at him and Ellen. "But I fear that the days of its splendour have come to an end." Kanda looked over at Ellen; the girl covered her face with her hands, feeling her heart beat frantically, but there was no way out now. "Take a seat. Both of you."
To be continued.
Notes:
Finally, the long overdue confrontation… In the next chapter ;3