Author's Notes:
Reading fanfiction (which I rarely do nowadays) got me all fired up despite the semester break blues I seem to suffer from at the moment.
Replying to Akira-chan: I'd also understand if you'd written me a French review (I just got so rusty after years of not using it that I have no confidence in writing/speaking French, or Italian for that matter *lol* but I still undestand it) – thanks a lot! The number of chapters does give me a fright sometimes! Thanks for reading and reviewing! Merci! 3
Replying to Shadow of a Rose: Thank you! Also for giving the story a go even though you usually don't like genderswitch! :3 I've been thinking about getting a beta ever since I started writing in English because there are things I am not sure about… I haven't really looked for one yet though...
Disclaimer: D. Gray-Man belongs to Katsura Hoshino
Kapitel 56: Facing the Dragon
Kanda felt his face heat up slowly even though the temperature in Lady Bermont's study was rather cool. Ellen had dropped onto the couch in front of her mother's armchair almost immediately after the order to take a seat had been issued. Kanda looked at his wife; she no longer covered her face with her hands, but her fingers dug into the sofa's soft fabric, her shoulders stiffly drawn up. Her face was pale and her expression tense. He looked over to Charlene who just raised an eyebrow at him because he had not taken a seat yet. Kanda breathed in through his nose – tense as well but also slightly irritated – and sat down beside his wife, palms flat on his knees, meeting Charlene's stern eyes with as much confidence as he could muster. He was really nervous now, even though his mother-in-law seemed to spread an aura of grave calmness and not obvious hostility.
"So," Charlene started and Ellen bit her lips, looking at her mother, but the woman's eyes were fixed on the young Japanese male next to Ellen, "you are the gentleman who made my daughter forget her common sense." Kanda did not reply to that and Ellen felt the need to speak up.
"Mother… How did you know his name? I-" Charlene made Ellen's voice die down merely by turning her attention from Kanda to Ellen for a short moment.
"I did not know for sure that Yu Kanda is your husband," she now looked at Kanda again, "Ellen wrote a lot about you, always full of praise for you, Mister Kanda." Kanda lowered his head at that, probably the reaction Charlene had expected, because she turned back to Ellen. "And I am no fool Ellen. I can read you well enough, child. And the reactions of you both gave you away…"
"I am sorry…," Ellen mumbled, but Charlene just shook her head.
"There is no point in being sorry," she said, "or regretting. What is done, is done." She lifted her teacup to her mouth, drinking silently. Neither Ellen nor Kanda found it in themselves to say anything, because there was the unspoken threat that even though things have been done, Charlene would still do her best to undo what Ellen and Kanda managed to get themselves into. Charlene put the tea back down and leant back in her chair, observing Kanda's features.
"How old are you, Mister Kanda?"
"18…," he replied and Charlene frowned, apparently slightly disturbed by how young he was.
"And you think yourself able to sustain both wife and child?" Kanda lowered his eyebrows uncertainly, but he nodded. "You do. And how, if I might ask?"
"As long as we are exorcists this is secondary," the young man said and Charlene's expression darkened. Ellen was already fidgeting in her seat, but she could not say anything to help Kanda.
"Secondary? The welfare of wife and child are secondary to you?" the woman asked and Kanda was slightly annoyed at himself for wording things too bluntly, but he just wasn't good at this.
"The order provides a home and food. We lack nothing," Kanda explained but Charlene just snorted silently. It was kind of absurd anyway, Kanda mused, because the home they had and a lot of money the Black Order spent for its exorcists were provided by Charlene Bermont anyway. Of course he didn't have much to sustain Ellen and it made him bitter that he was dependant on the order and in a way on Charlene and whatever fortune Ellen called her own. He was not going to admit that yet though, Charlene probably could guess anyway.
"You have no money from your parents?" Ellen's mother continued to ask, still focused on the question of money.
"No." Charlene sighed when Kanda did not elaborate on this reply.
"Then do you have parents?"
"I do," Kanda told her. "As far as I know they are alive. It is hard to tell though." Charlene crossed her arms over her chest, studying Kanda silently for a while. If she felt sorry for him in any way, she did not show it.
"You are Japanese if I remember correctly from my daughter's letters," Charlene started and Kanda nodded, "but you are blue eyed. How come?" Here Ellen put her hand over Kanda's and shook her head.
"Mother. Don't interrogate him like this," she asked but Charlene frowned at her.
"This young man has become your husband, whether that happened legally or not remains to be discussed, but for now he is my son-in-law. There are things I wish to know," she told her sharply, "do you know, daughter?" Ellen paled and drew back her hand. Kanda looked at her, then he turned his eyes to Charlene.
"I have a bit of European blood in me as well, but I know almost nothing about it. But it is meaningless anyway. No noble name, no secret fortune. I am but an exorcist here - as far as English society is concerned I do not exist."
"Kanda…," Ellen whispered, feeling bad all over again for ever having installed thoughts of inferiority in him – whether it was justified or not didn't even matter. Charlene however snorted, an amused expression on her face.
"At least you are honest in this aspect," she said, but then she got serious again. "Why did you marry my daughter?" Kanda was a bit taken aback by the sudden question, but it was not something he had no answer for.
"For the usual reasons; I love her," Kanda replied boldly and Ellen blushed. Charlene however did not comment that.
"As far as I have come to know it was not her decision to marry so swiftly. Did she not protest?" Charlene wished to know.
"She did."
"And why were you married anyway?" Charlene wondered and Kanda hesitated to answer.
"Because it was necessary," he said. Charlene raised a thin eyebrow and Kanda felt forced to add: "and because I wanted to." A deep, disapproving sigh escaped Charlene and Kanda tensed. "I really do care about your daughter, Lady Bermont. I did not think that marrying me would be some sort of social death sentence for her." The aristocrat looked at Kanda with sharp eyes.
"Young man, caring for a girl one loves does not necessarily include sleeping with her before marriage and then pushing her into a hasty marriage without considering other options. Necessity – if that is what you think it was - bundled with ardent love, does not really mean that it's the right thing to do."
"Mother… Don't be too harsh on him…," Ellen pleaded, "I am fine with the marriage now. I am very fond of Kanda and will also take responsibility for my actions."
"And how do you want to take responsibility? You know that I won't disown or punish you," Charlene said with a huff, shaking her head. "You are aware that you got us into a difficult situation." She looked at Kanda and he returned the look. "Of course I would be very happy for my daughter to have found herself a loving man under normal circumstances. And I really do not doubt your honesty in that aspect, Mister Kanda, even though I think your youth and passion have clouded your right judgment of what is good for Ellen and you. However," she crossed her arms over her chest, looking rather displeased, "As things are, I really cannot approve of this match and I would like you to consider dissolving your marriage."
"That is out of the question," Kanda replied promptly. Charlene looked at Ellen and nodded at her to get her opinion.
"I told you before. I do not want to give up this marriage to marry a man more to your liking, mother… I dislike the very idea of such an act," Ellen said with a frown. Charlene apparently had not expected another reaction to her suggestion and wasn't really angered to hear that.
"I will still have Leverrier looking into the validity of the marriage certificate. If this marriage can be undone then it will be undone," Charlene said, "until then I provide you, Mister Kanda, with a monthly allowance that is deposited in a bank account. For use when the time comes where the care of your future family will no longer be secondary." Kanda frowned in confusion.
"Do you want to buy Ellen back or what?" he asked, rather irritated at the thought.
"Fool! Of course not!" Charlene exclaimed, huffing in indignation and shaking her head. "No. But I cannot stand the idea of my daughter and the castle being in the hands of a destitute youth." Ellen widened her eyes at that, looking at her mother in confusion.
"What did you say now, mother? What has Kanda got to do with the castle?" Charlene snorted, not very pleased at her daughter's ignorance.
"Your father bequeathed this castle to you. He assumed that a son would later receive his title, his position in parliament and the bigger part of the fortune. He wanted you to have a place to retreat to, where you could do whatever you wished, especially in case you chose your own liberty over taking a husband. Now, there is no son and I was left in charge with all the possession he wanted you to have after his death. But now you are married and the castle belongs to your husband as all your possessions do. And in the wrong hands I don't really see a bright future for this castle, or our branch of the family in general." Kanda was speechless for a moment, unsure of what to say. So this castle, this building that was nearly holy ground for Ellen because it was the symbol of her family, was his?
"I don't want it," Kanda said and Charlene glared at him, forcing Kanda to rephrase: "This castle belongs to the Bermont family, Ellen especially. I respect that and do not want to claim it in any way. Her property is her property, not mine."
"That is very noble of you, but-" Charlene was interrupted when Kanda suddenly flinched. He looked down to find out the cause of the sudden pain in his hand. Ellen, who had been very quiet ever since the subject of the castle had been brought up, had grabbed Kanda's hand, the sharp nails digging into Kanda's palm enough to hurt. Charlene also saw her daughter's pale face and the grey eyes staring at her.
"If this castle means so much to you and if you did not want it soiled then why did you allow the Black Order into it?" Ellen asked with a trembling voice. Kanda was surprised to see her trying to contain anger and maybe also some pain, to the point it made her tremble. Charlene was a bit taken by surprise as well, but she recovered pretty easily.
"Because you are an exorcist Ellen. If I cannot take you back that easily I at least want you somewhere more comfortable. Somewhere that will remind you of your real home," she replied and Ellen finally let go of Kanda's hand.
"But you let me go! You let me go with Master Cross despite knowing where you would send me! You did not think about my comfort and responsibility to the family name then, did you? Why do you think you have the right to call me back now?"
"Daughter, what kind of tone are you talking in?" Charlene asked with a disapproving expression on her face.
"A tone of indignation, mother!" Ellen exclaimed loudly, springing to her feet and holding out her left hand, dark red, almost black with a sparkling band of pale gold around one of her fingers. Charlene grimaced, but the initial surprise was fast overcome (and Kanda couldn't help but admire how the woman was able to control and govern her emotions) and she looked at Ellen. "You know what this is, don't yout? You know what Innocence is, you know what the Black Order is! And you still sent me there after years of hiding me!"
"Hiding, Ellen, could not guarantee your safety forever," Charlene said, with a gentle calmness that contrasted with Ellen's agitated temper. "I tried my best not to expose you to anything that could make someone take notice of you." Kanda raised an eyebrow and because Ellen was too troubled to speak, he did:
"Who is that someone you had in mind?" he wondered, also quite curious to know how deeply Ellen's family – or at least mother and uncle – were involved in the workings of their secret war. Charlene lifted her hands.
"The people of the Black Order and whatever it is that you are fighting against," she told him and looked at Ellen, "you must wonder why I know. Well, I do not know everything as – so I have been told – knowledge of these matters could cause me and my family great danger. Mana was connected to this Innocence matter in some way," here Charlene laughed humourlessly, touching the palm of her hand to her forehead. "Innocence. What a misleading name that is for something that snatches loved ones away to toss them to war and death. I did not want to send you to anything unpleasant, but I feared that you were no longer safe at home – from the enemy forces and from yourself if you did not learn to control that Innocence of yours. If you had to go to a battle, then it would be best to train you for it, nothing I tried to do in order to evade such a fate for you was fruitful. The only thing I could do was try to make sure that you lacked nothing and that is why I donated money to the order. It did give me a little sphere of influence in a space I could not have invaded otherwise. And now you're here." Ellen had fallen back on the sofa, her anger evaporated, but a nagging feeling of doubt and betrayal still inside of her.
"Mother… I am not going to stay," Ellen spoke up silently and Charlene looked at her. "Once an exorcist, I cannot back out of it before the battle is over and won."
"Ellen, that is foolish. You are not fit to go to the battle front!"
"How do you know?!" Ellen shouted, making Charlene shut up instantly. "You do not know what I am capable of mother. You can try what you want; try to lock me into the castle, try to dissolve my marriage, try to frighten me with the loss of my property, try to take my child, try to lie to that Lord of yours, try to get me out of the way by pushing me into another thoughtless marriage just to prevent me from harming my reputation." Charlene stared at her daughter with wide eyes. "You might have gained some influence over me as the benefactor of the order, but your money or social status will not allow you to meddle with my affairs as an exorcist. I am no longer Ellen Bermont, mother, I will stay true to the person I worked towards becoming." With this she stood up again, bowed and with a muttered excuse she quickly left the room. Kanda remained sitting, looking at the closed door. A deep sigh from Lady Bermont made him turn his head.
"She has developed a habit of running out of conversations. So much like her father…" There was a little smile on Charlene's lips and it hadn't left them yet when she looked up at Kanda. "Mr Kanda. I will do what I think is right. You are free to disagree with my views on what is right, but I am still her mother and like to think that I can judge better than a young man as yourself can." With this she turned to her tea. "Actually, I still hope for her to reconsider her decision about her almost fiancé. But I am also willing to take risks." Here she looked at Kanda with a challenging expression. "If my plans fail, I envision striking a deal with you."
"What kind of deal, Lady Bermont?" Kanda asked in surprise but Charlene shook her head.
"Only if my plan fails," she reminded him. "You can leave now." Kanda was intrigued but did not ask about it. He got up, wished his mother-in-law a good evening and left the room. He found Ellen leaning against the wall near the stairway, her eyes fixed on his approaching form.
"Was she angry?"
"Because of your shouting?" Kanda asked and Ellen pressed her lips together. Apparently she was not really sure what to think of her behaviour. Too daring? Too cheeky? Just right? Kanda put his hand on top of Ellen's head. "No. I think she was somewhat amused." Ellen looked at him doubtfully and Kanda withdrew his hands, putting them into the pockets of his trousers. "It was not as bad as I expected. Even if she were a dragon, you're pretty good at spitting fire as well." Ellen blushed at that and stepped in front of Kanda, stopping him from going down the stairs.
"What?! That's not funny, Kanda!" Kanda had to laugh nevertheless and manoeuvred his way around the white haired obstacle, descending the stairs. Ellen sighed deeply, following Kanda back outside. Even though the rain had become a mere drizzle there was still a chilly wind blowing and the sky was darkened by thick clouds. Ellen shivered lightly when the cold wind hit her and she hurried along under the arcade to get back into the castle.
"It is already quite late…," Ellen said and put her hand against her stomach, "at least I think it should be time for something to eat." Kanda snorted at her appetite's way of measuring time, but still followed her to the dining hall where they were greeted by a familiar face.
"Tch. There you are again," Kanda snorted when Link caught sight of them, walking towards them in fast strides.
"Where were you?" Link asked in a reproachful tone.
"You were the one that left her," Kanda reminded him and Link looked at him disapprovingly.
"We were called by my mother," Ellen told him, "I am sorry that I could not inform you of it first." Link seemed mildly surprised.
"You were? What for?" Ellen wanted to reply, but Link reconsidered the question and shook his head. "No. Tell me later." The girl nodded – actually she was eager to revise some of the things that had been said by discussing them. But here where everyone could hear her was not the right place to do so.
"What did my uncle want of you?" Ellen asked when they waited for their ordered food.
"Nothing we can discuss here either," Link told her and the girl sighed because they lacked a topic of conversation. Kanda was not really eager to enter a discussion between the two anyway, he still was thinking about the mysterious deal Lady Bermont had hinted at. His mother-in-law didn't seem like a bad person (certainly not a woman he could not deal with if he had to) but she appeared to be rather calculating. If he had concluded in the right manner, then Charlene meant to break up their marriage so Ellen could remarry someone more worthy going by high society standard. Maybe she would want to make him comply by offering him something? If it was true that the castle was now his possession then she might use that in some way? He had no idea how her mind worked and he just could not phantom what she might have planned. But he had a feeling that if her desired union with that Lord failed then Charlene would certainly not let him have much choice when it got to that deal of hers.
"Kanda? Is something the matter?" Ellen wondered and Kanda snapped out of his thoughts. He took the soba that Ellen held out to him. "You looked as if you were in thoughts?"
"Just something your mother said," Kanda said but did not want to elaborate on it. He neither wanted to unnerve Ellen nor to get her hopes up, so he decided to remain silent about it unless Charlene chose to enlighten them.
-
The three youths finished their meal rather quickly and withdrew into Ellen's room.
"There has been no rearrangement of the rooms yet," Link explained why he followed and Kanda snorted in annoyance, but refrained from saying anything.
"Well… Considering that this castle belongs to us, it should not be difficult to rearrange ourselves," Ellen said and Link raised an eyebrow. "Oh, you do not know yet… Because of my marriage this castle now belongs to my husband…" She told this in a calm, casual voice, but Link saw that she was bothered by this fact. He frowned and studied Kanda.
"If I remember correctly, the legal situation here in England allows you to have your own property despite marriage," he said, "but you probably haven't made an agreement when you married…" Ellen shook her head.
"Who cares about that? It's not my castle. It should be obvious that I have no interest in being its owner," Kanda said with an annoyed snort, shaking his head. Ellen smiled at him and turned towards Link.
"But the matter of our rooms aside, what did you need to discuss? Does it have something to do with me?"
"Yes… I was informed about how we continue now that it's official that you will become a Noah." Ellen frowned at hearing that – she still refused to believe that this was a fact. "Most importantly, we need to ascertain that you stay loyal to the order."
"Why ascertain this? I thought it was clear that I have no intention of betraying my home!" Ellen exclaimed in irritation but Link lifted his hands to appease her.
"The orders, Ellen, come from above. How can they be sure that you are not lying? Even if your uncle thought you capable of controlling the Noah inside of you, he cannot contradict the orders." Ellen pressed her lips together. "I am sure you understand."
"How exactly will things go now? Do you plan on just waiting for her to turn into a Noah? And what about the people who know about it?" Kanda wondered and Link nodded.
"This is a justified question. It was first planned to inform everybody of Ellen's state, we did decide against this because it would push Ellen into a very uncomfortable position that might be taken advantage of by the Noah inside of her. But the other exorcists at least have to be told about you." Ellen lowered her head in resignation and sighed.
"I guess they have a right to know about it… But it will not make things any easier," she said and Link looked at her. "You do not want the entire order doubting me, but the exorcists – my comrades – must know that there is a potential danger in their ranks… I really do understand but their doubt hurts me more than the entire order's."
"There will be no reason to doubt… If everything happens the way we want it to, then there will be no danger, only a gain in power," Link told them, but neither Kanda nor Ellen were very confident in this sort of plan. A timid knock on the door interrupted the strained silence though and Ellen gladly got up, answering the door.
"Hello," Linali said with a smile, but she looked left and right into the corridor before continuing, "I sneaked out of my brother's office, so I have to be quiet." Ellen looked at her in wonder.
"Why did you have to leave him in secrecy?" she wanted to know and Linali sighed deeply.
"I don't even know! He said something about danger and not bothering you. Ridiculous!" Ellen didn't say anything to that and Linali looked at her with a sad expression. "Is something the matter?"
"I think I cannot tell you yet," Ellen replied and Linali took Ellen's hands into hers.
"Tell me as soon as you can…," she asked her and Ellen nodded, "now that I am here, how about we walk around a bit more? I am sure Komui will come to find me here!" Ellen had to laugh at that and walked out of the room without asking for permission. Link got up with a deep, slightly annoyed sigh, but Kanda stopped him from following Ellen.
"What?" Link demanded when Kanda glared down at him.
"I think you underestimate what it means to turn into a Noah. I doubt it is something that can be controlled – especially not when Ellen is put under stress by surveillance and the other people's suspicions," he said. Link snorted.
"As it seems that you claim to have superior knowledge than the Vatican does, tell what you think we should do?" he asked mockingly, but Kanda thought it best not to get excessively angry at the moment.
"Don't try confining her, that would be a good start," he said in an irritated tone, "then…" Link looked at him with a stern expression.
„You cannot want that we do to her what they did to you just to make the transformation process safer." Kanda narrowed his eyes, but did not say anything. "We all know that she will definitely transform into a Noah; it's in the memory, not in the blood. Circumstances are different."
"But it is not safe!" Kanda shouted as Link pushed past him, following the two girls.
"Nothing about this war is safe, you should be aware of that," Link told him gruffly, "Inspector Leverrier already considered what you just implied to me, but a delay of the process is not desirable." Kanda glared after Link, but the matter was out of his hands. The only thing he could do was to try and protect Ellen to the best of his abilities and just hope that things did – for once – go according to the Vatican's plans.
To be continued
Notes:
Sorry, Charlene, for referring to you as a dragon ;3
I'm still working towards establishing Ivory Tales' take on Kanda's past... It's so slow paced though that I think Hoshino will long be done with giving us his entire backstory before I ever get to tell what I've planned for him......