Noon- Quantico Medical Center
"How exactly did you finish your paperwork, again?" Reid asked as he followed JJ through the hallway to Hotch's room.
"Why are you so surprised, Spence?"
"Well, I usually always finish first-" JJ laughed and felt her cell phone vibrate in her pocket. She pulled out and saw that she had received a text from Camen.
Pick up coffee for B team before lunch hour ends, JJ read from her text. She gripped her phone tight causing Reid to ask, " What's wrong?"
"Camen wants me to do coffee runs. I might-I don't know- I'm just so mad. Come on, let's go see Hotch quick before Camen has me doing something else." JJ turned the corner and stepped into Hotch's room, finding the ex Unit Chief watching the news.
"Hotch?" JJ asked curiously.
"I woke up….and for the first time since January…..I found myself curious about…..I can't believe it's March 8."
"They never told you what the day was?"
"No- I guess, I didn't want to know either." He turned the TV off and looked over to both JJ and Reid. "I need to talk to you both."
The two agents exchanged a nervous look before Reid sat down on a chair and asked, "About what?"
"The problems between the team. I need to know- I don't want to be the cause of the team falling apart."
"The team isn't falling apart," Reid said. JJ put a hand on the bed rail and said, " You aren't causing the problems, it's-"
"Morgan?" I didn't expect him to tear the team apart….Hotch thought.
"Here's what's going on: I am upset with Morgan..because I wanted everyone to sit down and talk to you- I didn't want you to get fired and I definitely didn't want to have you dragged home, kicking and screaming. No offense, Hotch, but you're stubborn and were an authority figure at the time- we had to find a way to tread softly on the issue."
"At first, " Reid added, " I only saw it as you going home- I didn't expect everything to turn out like this. I'm sorry, Hotch."
"You have nothing to be sorry for, Spencer," Hotch answered, "Is it just Morgan?"
"Emily is mad at me," Reid blurted out, "Rossi was too, but I think we're ok now. I don't know why-"
"You take things differently than most people do, Reid. I think that sometimes goes against her personality. "
"I guess…" Reid trailed off. JJ felt her cell phone vibrate in her pocket again, causing her to growl in annoyance. Hotch coughed and slowly forced himself up into a sitting position. JJ pulled out her phone and muttered a curse under her breath.
"Camen again?" Reid asked quietly at JJ's angry look. Hotch watched them carefully, trying to pick up the body languages regarding their attitude towards Camen. I haven't met the man, but it doesn't sound like the team is having a good time with him…
Suddenly out of nowhere, Hotch blacked out- for what seemed like a second, he found himself back in the bedroom where he had found Haley's body. Foyet was leaning over Haley's body, admiring his work. "Look what you did, Aaron," Foyet said before Hotch opened his eyes again and saw JJ, Reid, and two nurses staring at him nervously.
"I'm alright. I'm alright," he muttered. JJ let out a sigh of relief and gasped, " Hotch, don't ever scare me like that again."
One of the nurses said calmly, "It's probably due to low blood sugar-we're going to get him eating." JJ felt her cell phone vibrate again and nearly threw it towards the wall, but Reid grabbed the phone from her hand before she could. "I think we should head back before JJ loses her mind. Are you sure that he'll be ok?" he asked the nurses.
"Yes, he will. Don't worry."
Hotch asked before JJ and Reid turned to leave, "What is so important that he keeps texting you?"
"The B squad wants me to pick up coffee before they go on their 30 minutes longer than ours lunch break. I don't even know if Rossi, Emily, and …Morgan will get off for a lunch break at all today. I don't even know if Penelope has a lunch break and he blatantly took your office. He put your stuff in a box and left it by the stairs. I'm still pissed at Morgan, but I kind of wished that Rossi hadn't stopped Morgan from nearly punching Camen in the face."
"He sounds horrible," Hotch said quietly. JJ smiled and thought, He's getting involved and is concerned. This is good- no, this is excellent.
"He kicked me out of my office," JJ added.
Hotch turned his head towards her. " On what grounds?"
"I don't know- on not being his favorite?"
"That's ridiculous. "
Hotch, what do you want us to do with your stuff?" Reid asked. It was the question the team had been debating asking Hotch all morning. Reid watched Hotch stare at him while thinking, Please don't say I don't care or I don't want them. Please.
"Can you put them in my apartment?"Both agents smiled back at him; both found it nearly impossible to hide their excitement.
Buzz. JJ's eyes widened at her cell phone vibrated again. She pulled it out and handed the cell phone to Reid, "You check it."
He peered at the screen and said, "No worries; Emily just sent us a text saying 'I hate you for finishing on time for lunch.'"
"Ok- Hotch, we'd better go and grab them lunch. We'll be back after work…if he doesn't keep us too late," JJ said. Hotch nodded and told her, "Good luck."
"Thanks, we'll need it."
4:15pm
Look at what you did, Aaron.
They're all dead because of you.
You don't deserve to live.
"Aaron?" Hotch nearly jumped up at the sound of his name. He found Allison standing at the doorway with her hands on a wheelchair. "Do you want some one-on-one time with me?"
Anything to get rid of the voices. "Ok, yes of course."
Five minutes later, Allison pushed Hotch into the hospital planetarium, available to children patients and visitors.
"Alright, Aaron. What's bugging you?"
"It sounds odd, I know, but I guess I'm tired of being sick."
"That's normal and excellent." They passed a table where a child that looked like Jack was coloring. Hotch sighed and continued, "I want to hold my son and…I'm tired of blackouts like the one I had today, I'm tired of lying around all day, I'm tired of feeling so sick, and I'm," his voice began to shaky, "I'm tired of all of this."
Allison pushed the wheelchair to a bench and sat down. "Let's start out with one issue at a time. First up-the team. How are they?"
"People are struggling and there are still strained relationships."
"Ok- let's look at that nightmare of yours- the team is found dead and you blame yourself for their deaths. As a profiler, what does a dream like that tell you?"
He hesitated before answering, "I feel guilt for the problems between the team."
"Aaron, you are not responsible. Unless you told them to hate each other, you are in the clear."
Hotch looked to the ceiling where a trail of stars led to a playground. " I think I'm beginning to understand that. The younger ones are like my children and Dave is like a brother; I guess I want to protect everyone from everything including pain."
"Good- I also…..yelled at them so they should be getting over this thing soon." Allison put a hand on Hotch's chin and muttered, "You need a haircut and a shave."
"You're mean," he joked, causing Allison to grin in response.
8:30pm
Hotch stared at Prentiss in wonder as the profiler scarfed down a sandwich. "I take it you didn't get to eat for lunch?"
"No,..I don't know how much more of him I can take," Rossi said as he nearly inhaled a small bowl of pasta.
"Did anyone of you talk to Strauss about Camen?" Hotch asked after nibbling on a piece of a roll.
"I did, but she claims that we need a new leader from the outside with fresh ideas," Rossi said in a mocking voice. Morgan smiled, "Rossi, you are really unfriendly when you're exhausted, you know."
"I usually have it under control, thank you very much."
" I say we do a coup against him," Garcia joked. JJ, who was sitting next to her, said, "We'd lose our jobs, Penn."
"Yeah, but we'd get satisfaction against taking down sir- pain- in- the- ass."
"Were you all always this crazy?" Allison asked while rocking her sleeping son slowly from side-to side.
"Not always, just as of late," Prentiss said with a mouthful of food. She swallowed and looked up to see Ames and Miles standing at the door. "Whoa, hey guys…..I thought psychiatrists and doctors didn't do late night house calls."
Miles turned to Ames, " I think that you should do the talking."
Ames cleared his throat and said, " Aaron, in our last conversation- your dream about the team concerned me. However, after talking with Allison and even what I've heard of your progress since you were first admitted- you ate a little yesterday, today, and even right now, you showed concern for the people that you love; this morning, you even watched a little TV."
"Nice, Aaron," Rossi said, " What did you watch?"
"A little bit of the news…..I've missed a lot with being in here."
"Even with what you just said- my point is, Aaron, the nightmares regarding the team, Foyet and the guilt about Ms. Hotchner is still a concern, but….I don't see anything in you that mirrors a suicidal patient anymore. "
"What are you saying?"
"I'm moving you off of level 4 status and onto level 3 status today. You'll be discharged tomorrow morning. You'll be allowed to leave the room with permission, you can participate in the activities that we have, and you can have your own clothes and a few items here within reason"
-One step closer to Jack. " I don't know what to say- thank you."
"You earned it. A nurse will be here to discharge you once Miss Brooks drops off your son at daycare in the morning."
Allison asked, "How do you feel, Aaron?" as Hotch closed his eyes and let out a sigh of relief.
No more restraints, no more being a prisoner in a room with only walls. Hotch reopened his eyes and said, " I feel…ok. I'm…ok." The eldest agent then caught a glimpse of something he hadn't seen in Hotch in three months: a spark of life.