I was awoken from my brief slumber by a slap to the face. I jumped a foot when I found that it was Hit-Girl. I almost knocked my hood off.
"Hi." She said cheerfully, evident obnoxious under tone in her voice.
"What the fuck do you want?" I asked, faking an English accent to hide my voice.
"You remember when I said this wasn't your thing?" she asked, tapping on my hood.
"Yeah, I quit." I retorted, bluffing.
"Really? Why are you dressed in a costume then?" she asked.
"In case someone like you barged into my house through my window. How the fuck did you find my house anyway?" I asked.
"Followed you home the other night, so oblivious." She replied.
"In case you haven't noticed, I'm new to this whole superhero bullshit." I muttered.
"You are new, or you were new?" she accused.
"I was new to the whole thing." I corrected myself.
"You know what I think?" she asked, getting off the bed. "You're just too chicken-shit to fight for this city. I need help, I need help from you." She said.
"Find Kick-Ass." I muttered.
"I can't, I have not a fucking clue where he is and that's bad." She said.
"I can't help you. And weren't you the person who told me I couldn't do this?" I asked, she stopped.
"No, I take it back, you aren't chicken shit, you're heartless."
"Leave my house. Now." I replied, pissed.
"What made you put off, last night you were so determined."
"When someone stepped in and did the job more efficiently then I guess I was." I replied, standing up.
"I would have let you take him, but he had a gun and you didn't." she said, shrugging.
"Yeah, well he didn't need to die." I replied.
"Some people need to live, and some need to be wiped off the fucking earth. He was one of the latter, I bet you he would have killed you easy and I don't even know how many times he was going to rape her." Hit-Girl replied.
"Well, I'm done, you don't need my help and it's clear. I don't even have a name." I stated. She turned back to the window and opened it,
"Like I said, heartless." She muttered. she exited my window and I watched her take off down the street. I watched her go and wrestled with myself, I wanted to prove her wrong, but I also didn't want to go out after what happened the night before. I finally kicked my bed and grabbed the wooden dowel I had fashioned into a club-thingy. I opened my window and took off after her. I kept at a safe distance, making sure she didn't see me. She led me to a warehouse,
"Must be a drug bust she wants to carry out." I thought to myself. I watched her enter the building and I ran up to the towering structure. I climbed the ladder leading to the roof, opening one of the skylights. I dropped silently down onto the rafters. I crouched as I watched Hit-Girl kicking the absolute shit out of the guys. I watched closely as she slammed her knuckles deep into the first thugs chin, sending him stumbling back and crashing to the floor. She ducked under a wild haymaker, simultaneously sweeping the assailant out and back flipping. She landed toes first on the guy's chest. I swear I heard his sternum crack from where I was crouched. My eyes were wide, the fact that one girl could cause as much pain as she was, as efficiently as she was, it was just mind boggling (not that I'm sexist or anything).
"Okay honey, enough of this frivolity." One of the guys said.
"Frivolity? Who do you think you are, fucking Geoffrey Chaucer?" she asked. The guy drew a pistol from his suit pocket. That's when I adrenaline kicked into my system. I readied the club as I dropped down to ground level. I drove it point first into his stomach, raising it back and clubbing him in the face. He dropped to the ground, blood leaking steadily from his face. I picked the pistol up off the ground, pointing it to the last guy who had his gun pointed at me. He went to fire and I pulled the trigger, the bullet exited the barrel on the gun and connected powerfully with his chest, knocking him over. A pool of blood surrounded him as I dropped the gun, surprised by my own actions. Hit-Girl walked over to me and touched the top of my hood, starling me.
"You have a little blood on your hood." She whispered.
"I think I have a name." I said, reaching my bedroom.
"Really, what is that?" she asked.
"The Bloody Hood." I retorted. "Because this stain will never come out." I said, chuckling.
"I like it, sounds like The Cape." She replied. I grinned, nodding.
"Thanks for showing up Hood." She said.
"Yeah, well you should thank yourself." I replied.
"See you tomorrow night, eh Hood, or are you still quitting"? She asked.
"It's too late to turn back now, already killed two people." I said, "and my wrist hurts from firing that pistol one handed." I said, chuckling again.
"It was only a nine millimeter you pussy." She said. I laughed, climbing up to my window.
"Well, maybe I am a pussy. Only time will tell I guess." I replied, sliding in my window.
"See you tomorrow Hood." She said.
"The same Hit-Girl, just tomorrow, doesn't wake me up." I said. She chuckled as she took off down the street for the second time tonight.