Author's Note: I'm a little bit sad. I feel like now that the sexual tension between them has been released, you guys just aren't as interested in the story anymore. Then again, this could just be my foul mood talking, because it's about 3:30am, and I'm taking a break from work to edit. Blegh.

Chapter 84

There's a strange sensation, as though a tunnel has just opened up in my mind. I close my eyes and focus on this new tunnel, and it sucks me in. Everything is black for about three seconds.

When I open my eyes, I see that I'm standing in a different position than I was before. My mouth opens, and a male voice comes out.

"Whoa."

I see… myself… standing across from me, eyes closed.

Then Blaise's voice echoes in my—or is it his?—head.

Do you hear my thoughts? Bloody hell, this feels weird.

Oh, it does feel weird. Yes, I hear you, I reply.

Wonder what'll happen if you try to control me, he thinks.

I'm not going to try that.

"Blaise? Hermione? Are you two all right?" Harry asks.

I try to speak, but I hear my intended words in Blaise's voice.

"We're fine."

Looks like you just did it, Hermione.

Why does he sound so smug, even in his thoughts?

Is it really that easy? I ask.

You sound afraid.

Because I'm worried!

I'm terrified of the initial rush that I got when I realized that I could control him.

"Hermione, you'll have to get out of his head if you want to control your own body," Draco says.

I… don't know how to get out, I tell Blaise. It's true—I don't know where the tunnel is anymore.

"She thinks she's stuck," Blaise says aloud.

Harry looks worried, but Draco just laughs. I guess that means this can't be too serious.

Shut up, Blaise. Help me out of here.

How am I supposed to help you out of my own head? You're the one who created the tunnel, not me.

"Focus, Hermione," Draco says, facing me—Blaise. "The tunnel is right where you left it."

I don't know where I left it, I admit to Blaise.

Blaise chuckles aloud, and Harry asks, "Is that you laughing, or is it Hermione?"

"It's me," Blaise replies.

Temporarily giving up on finding the way out, I start flipping through his memories. I feel Blaise instinctively putting up his walls in an attempt to hide from me, but it's clear that the boundaries include me with the rest of his thoughts.

Fuck, it's like she's part of my mind, I hear him think.

I told you that this was a bad idea, I project.

I flip through various memories of the past few years, surprised at the increasing amount of time he spent staring at me when I wasn't looking.

Do you mind? Blaise asks. He sounds angry.

I said we shouldn't do this, and you insisted that it'd be fine, I tell him. Now that I'm stuck here, I might as well find out all the secrets you've been keeping from me.

"If she needs a little help, Blaise, give her a push," Draco suggests.

"I can't force her out without severing the connection," Blaise replies.

I pause. You want to keep this connection? I ask him.

It's going to keep me safe a short while longer. I'll take it.

Then I come across the scene that played out between us in Draco's kitchen, and I can feel his uneasiness setting in from all sides.

Fuck, Hermione. Don't. You're not going to like this, he thinks frantically.

But the scene is already playing back, and I'm not going to stop it.

She's thinking about it. Damn. I was too serious. I shouldn't have lost control like that. It just… I couldn't stand how easily she dismissed it as a joke. But that's my own fault. I've built our relationship based on these jokes, because I never thought I could feel so serious about her.

Damn it.

I glance over at her. Yeah, she's still thinking about it.

Maybe I should try to fix this. Maybe I should… get everything back to normal. Fucking normal. I hate normal.

I chuckle, and she looks over at me, surprised.

"Go on, don't let me interrupt you," I tell her.

She's confused. "What do you mean?"

"You were clearly deep in thought," I say, grinning. "I didn't mean to interrupt you."

She rolls her eyes. "Shut up, Blaise."

I pass her the roots that I just finished crushing, and then I hop up onto the counter. "Honestly, Hermione. What's on your mind? I'm very curious."

Yeah right, I'm curious. I know exactly what's on her mind. She's worried that what she saw was real. That I might have real feelings for her.

She points her wand at the cauldron, and a fire blazes to life beneath it.

"Nothing," she lies.

I shake my head, still watching her. I've never had trouble reading her—I understood her from the beginning. I don't know what it was about her that drew me in. I couldn't stop watching her, learning her.

"Blaise, I'm being honest with you," she continues to lie. "There's nothing on my mind. Why are you so curious?"

"Mm, no reason," I reply with a shrug. "Don't screw up the potion again. I won't take the blame this time."

"No one told you to take the blame last time," she shoots back.

"Yeah, but it sort of was my fault, for distracting you."

"Then stop distracting me," she says.

"Can't do that."

"Why not?"

"I think I'd die of boredom."

"Such a drama queen, you are," she quips.

I slide off the counter. "Yes, I know," I say.

I shift around to stand behind her and lean forward to look over her shoulder at the potion. Fuck, I shouldn't be doing this. I should back away. I'm stepping too close to that boundary.

"Can't you just watch from the side?" she asks.

She's clearly not comfortable. And for some reason, I can't resist prodding a little more at her.

"Sorry, love," I say, grinning. "Can't do that either."

"Don't call me that, Blaise."

She really is worried.

"What, love? Don't call you what?" I ask, adopting an innocent tone.

She jabs me in ribs before continuing to stir the potion.

I shouldn't do this, but I just want so badly for her to know…

I gently rest my hands on her hips, and she stiffens slightly. I slowly slide them around to her front and take another small step forward, holding her to me.

"Blaise… what are you doing?"

"Shh…"

Her voice sounds strong, but I know she's concerned and afraid. She knows that I would never hurt her, but she's worried about my feelings. Sometimes I wish she wasn't so noble. Then it'd be easier to be selfish with her.

She starts stepping back in an attempt to make me back away from her, and I bite back the impulse to spin her around and kiss her.

"Hey, hey, hey—don't stop stirring," I say. "We don't want to ruin another batch, do we?"

"Blaise, let go of me," she says.

Fuck it. I'm not going to keep up this stupid charade.

"I really like you, Hermione," I say, lowering my voice to a whisper.

She stiffens again, but her arm continues to stir mechanically.

"Did you know that?" I ask. "You're different from any other girl I've known. I really, really like you."

"Did you tell this to all the girls you slept with, to get them into bed?" she responds.

Ouch.

"Were they all special? Were they all beautiful and unique snowflakes?" she finishes.

"That hurts, Hermione," I say. That… that can't be her real opinion of me.

"Sorry."

I can tell she means it, so I accept. I inhale the scent of her hair and shut my eyes to enjoy it. Then I let my head drop down to her neck, planting a kiss above her rapidly pulsing carotid artery.

"Blaise, get off me," she says.

Shouldn't have done that. Fuck.

I take a step back, away from her.

It's cold.

"I'm not joking this time, Hermione," I say in a soft voice. "I know you already know how Draco feels about you, and it's about time I came clean, too."

She continues working on the potion, not responding, and for the first time in these three years, I honestly don't know what's on her mind.

"I just… thought you should know," I say.

Unable to continue looking at her, knowing that she doesn't reciprocate these feelings, I turn away and head for the exit.

"You don't have to give me an answer. As long as you know that I'm here for you, it's enough."

I'm so sorry, Hermione. I shouldn't have done it. But I'm selfish. I love you, and I wish I could say it out loud. But I've already said too much. I know it.

Oh, god. Blaise…

It's not like that anymore, he thinks.

But there's instantly an echo in the back of his mind that says, Yeah right, it's not.

Try not to lie to me, Blaise, I project. I hear the truth anyway.

Harry is waving a hand in front of my—Blaise's—face, but I ignore him.

"Give them some more time," Draco tells him. "It takes a while to get used to."

Fine, then, Blaise replies to me. Complete honesty. You won't have to hear any truths echoing back at you. But you can't let this sway your decisions. I love you.

Blaise, stop.

No. No more lies, no more half-truths. I will not try to break up the relationship between you and Draco. I won't deny that I want to. But he's my best mate. And I know you well enough to realize that you really do have feelings for him, that you'll be happy with him. And that's enough for me.

I don't know what to say—think. The only thing that comes to mind is an apology. I'm sorry, Blaise.

We can't let this get in the way, he thinks. It's going to be life or death out there. I have to know that you'll be able to help me.

Of course I will.

You can't be distracted.

It's hard not to be distracted. You just said—

I love you. I know.

I hold back the impulse to sigh, realizing that if I do, it'll be Blaise who sighs. This is such a strange type of magic.

I'll be able to do it, I think. You can trust me.

Good.

"Hermione, are you still stuck?" Draco asks.

He taps Blaise's cheek, and Blaise smacks his hand out of the way.

"Hey."

Draco grins. "What, Blaise? Won't even let me touch your cheek?"

"Better look out, Hermione," Blaise says aloud. "I might just steal Draco and keep him to myself."

I laugh, forcing Blaise to laugh. But as soon as I realize what's happening, I stop abruptly. I really don't like how easy it is to accidentally control his actions.

"They're clearly not used to it yet. At least, Hermione isn't," Draco says.

Well, that means I can improve. It's a comforting thought. But how long would I have to be in here in order to perfect a skill like this? Maybe I'd rather not…

"Blaise, Hermione, I hate to rush you, but—" Harry begins.

"I'm trying, Harry," I snap in Blaise's voice.

Harry glances at Draco. "That sounded like Hermione."

Draco only grins in response. Apparently this is amusing to him. Ugh, what an arse.

I close my—Blaise's—eyes, trying to focus.

"Relax," Draco advises. "It'll be easier to find the opening."

I take a few slow, deep breaths, calming myself down. The tunnel slowly becomes apparent to me. Wow… that was so easy. It's a wonder I couldn't figure it out before.

Why didn't Draco give me that hint at the beginning?

Blaise, before I leave, I need to ask a favor from you, I project.

Anything.

I mentally wince at the readiness of his response. I still can't wrap my mind around his confession of love. Love. To hear that word from a Slytherin as emotionally guarded as Blaise…

I need you to talk to Draco for me. He went to Russia… and I think something bad happened to him there. He won't tell me what it is. Could you—

His thoughts cut me off. There's a large chance that he won't tell me either. Between the two of us, there's a lot of guesswork involved. I'll keep it in mind, though. Thanks for letting me know about Russia.

I don't really respond to that thought, and when I concentrate on the tunnel, I find myself getting pulled back into my own body.

Then I open my eyes and see Blaise standing across from me.

"Welcome back," Draco says.

"How was it?" Harry asks. "Will it work?"

I nod. "We can try. But Blaise… this is really dangerous."

"We're in a war with the Darkest wizard of all time. Everything is really dangerous," he says.

Good point.

"We should go, then," Harry says. "Malfoy, you'll tell Blaise when to come, right?"

Draco looks over at me. "Just give me the signal."

I nod and place a hand over my chest, above the locket.

"Bye, Draco."

He takes a step toward me and leans down to kiss me.

"Bye, Hermione," he murmurs against my lips.

Oh, I never want to leave.

Then I hear the pop of Harry's Disapparition, and I draw my wand with a sigh, backing away from Draco. I meet Blaise's eyes and catch a tiny bit of pain before he hides it away with a grin.

"See you on the other side," he says.

I nod and get another look at Draco before Disapparating.

Author's Note: Oh yeah, so I was going to mention this here. You don't have to read this author's note; it's completely irrelevant to fan fictions and Dramione. I probably just lost half my readers right there :P

Anyway, I started an account at over the summer and started posting some of my old stories on there (and when I say old, I mean they were written in high school… eek!). But I'm starting a new story now, and it'll hopefully be much better, haha ;)

I decided that I wouldn't try to get more readers by asking the readers of my fan fictions, but the lack of traffic is really discouraging, so I've been reduced to asking for readers. You guys have absolutely no obligation to go to the site, and I won't let the lack of readers on fictionpress affect my postings of Turncoat. I just wanted to let you guys know that I'm trying my hand again at original stories. Check it out, if you're interested! I'd really appreciate it.

This is the link to my profile (delete the spaces around the colon): fictionpress . com/u/787859/elizaye

I personally like my third completed story, To Die For, better than the other two, but I only just started posting it. The Master Plan is sort of bad, and I've stopped posting it for the time being. I think I'll put the whole thing up eventually, but ehhh…