a/n: Title taken from Taylor Swift's Change.
warnings: contains mentions/descriptions of bulimia. read at your own risk.
"Are you okay?'
Marley Rose walked out of the girl's room and was on her way to English when she was stopped by none other than Ryder Lynn.
Marley tries to make her grimace more of a smile. "Yeah. Of course."
He eyes her skeptically. "What did you have for lunch?'
She makes no effort to hide her annoyance. "You sat next to me."
"Maybe so, but did you keep it down?"
"Yes." She sighs. He's staring at her in disbelief. "It was one time. I won't do it again."
He steps closer to her. "You told me that a month ago. You've been recovering for four months now. I just… don't get it."
She looks him dead in the eye and tells him, "Bulimia's vicious."
-:-
Marley walks into her room later that day after walking home from glee practice. She sinks into her bed, thinking.
She has to come clean. Everyone wants her to get better. Jake does, her mom does…
Ryder does. That should be reason enough for Marley to change her attitude about recovery. Ryder wants her to recover. But somehow it doesn't seem like enough.
-:-
"Mom, I need to talk to you." Marley bites her lip. Is this really what she wants?
"One second, Marls."
Millie Rose walks into the room and takes a seat on the edge of her daughter's bed. Marley pulls her knees up to her chest.
"I'm relapsing."
Marley's sigh echoes her mother's.
"I should have noticed, Marley. I'm so sorry."
"No, Mom. You would have noticed… if I had let you. It's just… I'm purging every day again, and I can't stop, but I can't keep living like this. I'm smarter than this, and I just… I'm such a disappointment. I'm making everything so hard for you and Ryder and everyone, and I just can't do this anymore!" Tears slide down her face as she makes her confession.
"Marley Marie Rose, you are not a disappointment to anyone. You're just struggling right now. It happens to everyone. And you… you're so beautiful, and I'm going to get you all the help you need until you realize that yourself."
"It's so expensive—"
"You shouldn't worry about any of that. I promise you, it's going to be okay."
Marley puts her head on her mother's shoulder. "Thank you so much, Mom. I love you," she sniffles.
After a minute of silence, Millie looks at her daughter. "What's this about Ryder?"
Marley laughs.
-:-
Marley takes one last look in the bathroom mirror before she's interrupted by Ryder.
"You look amazing. You'll be fine. Like you said last week, you were born to play Ariel."
She looks away and walks into the second stall, where she was one year ago.
"Marley…" Ryder walks in before she can close the door. "You can't—" And then he sees her sitting on the toilet's lid. "What are you doing?"
She blinks and kicks the door open before it can slam shut behind him. "Thinking."
"Thinking," he repeats. "About…?"
Marley hesitates. "Last year."
Ryder leans up against the left side of the stall. "We were here then, too." He exhales.
"And I just kept lying to you after that."
"Stop. Stop. I know what you're going to say. You're going to remind me of what else I said that night."
Marley's eyes seem dull when she quotes, "I wasn't… but…'I don't want to kiss a girl who's got puke on her breath.' Obviously that was a bust."
Ryder shakes his head. "You can't change your past. What happened, happened. But you're actually committed to recovering this time, and I could not be happier or prouder than you. I know you remember that I said that, because I remember it, too. I said, 'Either on stage, or later.' And I get it now. That part of your life may be mostly over, but it's not gone. It's later."
He takes her hand and pulls her up, so their faces are an inch apart. "I love you, Marley. A year ago, I liked you. I kissed you then. I don't care what happened in the past. This is now. It's later. And I want to kiss you again tonight."
She goes up on her tip toes to close the gap. Her eyes are sparkling. "I love you, too."
"Come on," he breathes. "The curtain will be up in less than five."
They run.
-:-
When Ariel kisses Ren, Marley hopes everyone can tell they aren't just characters anymore.
"I love you."
"I love you, too."
It's not scripted, but it works. It will always work.
a/n: can you spell C-H-E-E-S-E-Y?
haha, yeah that just happened.
if you are struggling with an eating disorder, pleaase get help. talk to me if you need to. i'm recovering, i know what you're going through. if you have beaten or are recovering, I AM SO PROUD OF YOU.
please do not favorite or without a review.