One month later-June

"Morning, Daddy!" Hotch heard one morning around six am. He yawned and found his son standing near his bed. Hotch pulled him onto the bed and asked, " What are you doing here, buddy?"

Jessica stepped into the bedroom. "Hey, you're up! I wanted to see if you wanted to drop Jack off at daycamp with me today?"

Hotch froze, a smile crawling on his face. "Seriously?"

"Yeah! I can sign you out now! So are you up for it?"

"Of course!" Hotch pulled the giggling Jack into his arms. "You ready to for me to take you to school, Jack?"

"Yeah! I missed when you dropped me off at school, Daddy!"

Hotch smiled and stood up. Me too.

On the way back from Jack's day camp, Jessica kept an eye on her quiet brother in law. Hotch had spent the past month getting stronger; participating in activities, enjoying his time with his son and the team- she hadn't seen him this quiet in a long time. Once they had dropped off Jack, his demeanor had instantly changed from excitement to quietness.

Deciding to make small talk, she asked," So where's the team?"

"Anchorage, Alaska. They have a LDSK-long distance serial killer- terrorizing the city. They should be back tomorrow," He answered with his finger tracing in circles on the window glass.

Jessica nodded before suddenly pulling the vehicle over to the side of the road and asking, "Aaron, you're worrying me. What's wrong?"

"I'm just thinking."

"Thinking about what?"

Hotch sighed and asked, " Can we….visit Haley's grave today?"

"Yes, of course." I've been waiting months to hear that, she thought. "We'll head there now."

Francis Cemetery - Haley Hotchner's gravesite

"Here it is," Jessica said. She stepped back as Hotch stood directly in front of the grave site. The small gravestone was covered in an array of blue and yellow lilies. With the warm June weather and the gentle breeze, Hotch felt at peace as he stood in front of his ex-wife's grave for the first time in over seven months.

Here goes nothing. He closed his eyes and took a breath before saying," I'm so sorry, Haley. I tried to get there as fast I could, but I failed. I know that you're keeping an eye on Jack and I, so you know what's been going on with me for the last seven months or so.

I gave up on life because I felt like I failed you. I had hoped that the divorce would get you more out of harm's way so that if anything had happened to me, you'd still be able to take care of our son. It hurt because I loved you and I still do. Ever since you died, I felt like it was my fault. I keep replaying that day over in my head- running through every moment to see what I had done wrong. You didn't deserve any of this….there were times that I'd wished that it was you here and me gone…I'd thought that maybe everyone would be happier, but I learned with getting some help that it wouldn't. I'm loved by so many people…you, the team, Jessica, Sean, Jack- so many people that would miss me. "

Hotch placed his hands in his pocket and opened his eyes. Taking in a large breath, he continued, " With therapy, I've learned that I can't dwell on the past anymore. I can't spend my entire life wondering and blaming myself for what Foyet did to you…me….everyone. Our son needs his father back and I need my life back. I know I promised you that I'd spend the rest of my life making this up to you and I will. I'll love our son with all my heart and get up every day and fight those demons. I promise you that…I'll never surrender like I did in January."

Jessica wrapped an arm around his and laid her head on his shoulder. She called out to the gravestone as if Haley were there and said, " Hey sis. It's me. I hope you know that he's trying so hard to get his life back. The other day I saw the smile on him that you told me that you always loved. The little guys is doing good, just like his father. It's been a turbulent seven months, but I feel like our Aaron is back. You would be so proud of him if you were here."

Jessica handed Hotch a white lily. "Do you want to do the honors?"

"Yes, I can." He took the lily and placed it at the bottom of the gravestone near Haley's name.

"How do you feel?" she asked once he stood back up.

"Better. I feel like my conscious is cleared."I feel like a lot is cleared.

Quantico Medical Center- 9:45pm

Hotch stepped into the hospital's break room and found a few team members spread out in a corner of the room. Garcia and Morgan were joking and laughing amongst themselves while JJ was looking over a few case files. Reid was the first one to notice Hotch.

"Hey, I thought you guys weren't coming until tomorrow!" Hotch said while Jessica signed him back in. Hours later then intended, Hotch and Jessica spent the day taking about Haley, Jack, and other simple things in life that the ex-agent had missed being in the psych ward.

"We caught a break early- the guy confessed. Rossi thought it would be good to head straight back and take the weekend off. How are you?"Reid asked.

"I'm alright. I went to Haley's grave today."

The youngest agent smiled. "That's excellent, Hotch. Oh, I realized on the flight today that our last case before the incident in San Francisco was in Ankorage."

Observant….that's really observant of him. "Wow, I hadn't realized that. I guess it's been that long."

"Hey, did you know that the average time spent in -"

"Aaron Hotchner!" Allison exclaimed from the break room entrance. She marched into the room with crossed arms and exclaimed, "I've been looking for you! There's a group that I want you to sit at."

Hotch nonchalantly asked, "What's the group?"

Allison kept her eyes on a painting on the wall near Hotch and said, "It's best if you just go and see for yourself."

"Allison, what's the group?" Hotch repeated, a little more attentive. Although not officially a profiler, Hotch had figured that Allison was a horrible liar. She always looked away when lying or attempting and failing at hiding something from someone.

"Aaron, as part of the patient- doctor confidentiality clause, I extremely advise that you just shut up and come. I know we argue about group therapy...but just come on."

Why is she acting so weird? "Allison..."

"It's for sexual assault victims," she blurted out.

The room suddenly became quiet; Hotch felt his heart drop at her words. She figured it out.

Garcia stood up slowly, her eyes flickering between Allison and Hotch. Placing the files into a empty chair, JJ asked, "Why would she ask-" before thinking, Foyet!

"I'm so sorry- I just…I tried to keep it private- I also kind of figured it out on my own-" Allison stammered, "Aaron, please don't be mad….I think going to this group will help you a lot."

Hotch turned and started walking towards his room, ignoring the calls and pleas from his friends. Once he made it to his room, he sat down slowly on the bed with his mind in shock. A few minutes passed before a very tired and empathetic Morgan stepped into his room.

"Hey, you alright?" Morgan asked. He sat down next to Hotch on the bed when he gave Morgan no response.

"I know that I'm the last person that you want to talk to right now, but…..I think I know what's bugging you. It's been a suspicion on the team for awhile now...did Foyet rape you?"

I don't want to talk with you. Go away! Hotch winced and closed his eyes, half praying that Morgan would get up and leave.

"I think he did and you don't want to talk about it."

Do not profile me! Hotch grimaced when Morgan continued to talk, "Hotch, it's alright. No one thinks any different of you."

No response.

"I can tell you this from experience- it's hard, but it can be dealt with. You'll be happy again."

Still no response.

"I'll leave you alone then, but just think about what I said. Alright?" Morgan stood up and took two steps towards the door when he heard, "Why didn't you come to me instead of going to Strauss back in January?"

Morgan nodded and leaned against the wall. " I thought it was best...to call Strauss."

"You could have come to me about it first- what do you think I was going to say?"

"Hotch, no offense, but you're stubborn."

"So are you."

Morgan chuckled and sighed. " You guys are my family and I didn't want to lose someone that I see to be like a father figure to me. Not again. I wanted you to be out of harm's way at all costs. We all knew that you would shut us down so I thought that I had to go over your head."

"What you did….you betrayed me, Derek. You betrayed all of us."

" I know and I'm so sorry about…everything. I shouldn't have done any of it- it destroyed you and the team. I don't expect you to forgive me. I'm surprised that people on the team are even talking to me."

Hotch turned his attention to Morgan and looked him right in the eye. "I don't trust you, " He said plainly. His expression then softened," but I know that you meant well. Iv'e been so angry, but for my own sake, I'm going to try to let it go. I know you care for all of us deeply."

"Thanks." Morgan placed his hands deep into his pocket, thinking, Finally. Everyone's ok.

A moment of silence passed before Morgan said, "Hotch, there's something that I've been meaning to give to you for awhile now. I don't know why I think now this is a good time." Morgan pulled out the suicide letter that he had found in Hotch's apartment in January. "I didn't read it nor could I give it to the rest of the team or Jessica to read. I just couldn't."

Hotch took the letter, the envelope in the same condition as it was when he had first written it. "Thanks. No one else knows about it. "

" Hmmm."Morgan walked over to the doorway as Hotch suddenly blurted out," Yes."

"What?"

"I was raped by Foyet. All I remember is being stripped and him coming...the answer is yes."

Morgan nodded. "Go to the group therapy, Hotch. It'll help."

The next morning, Hotch slipped on a sweater and sat still on his bed as he waited for 9:30 to approach. He felt surprisingly relaxed at going to the therapy; he had sent so many victims to group therapy that it felt right for him to go.

But he wasn't going as an agent sitting in.

He was going as a victim of sexual assault.

"Aaron?" he heard from the doorway. Allison crept into the room and said, " I'm so sorry that I said that aloud. Are you mad at me?"

"No," he chucked, "I'm glad you said it. I wouldn't have ever talked about it. I guess I'm afraid…of being seen as a failure."

"You have nothing to be afraid of you and you aren't a failure. Group therapy is where people in the same situation as you talk about how they feel, " she sat down next to him, "It's a safe place where no one, like me, will blurt out your secrets."

"You didn't blow my secrets. You accidently gave me a push to talk about it." He looked to the clock and saw that it was 9:20. "It's time to go."

"Ready?" Allison asked as Hotch stood and grabbed his room key. He gave her a small nod and answered, "Yeah, I'm ready."

"Oh, I should tell you that you aren't the only male there. There are seven other guys with recent events like you."

"Thanks, chatterbox."

Allison playfully slapped Hotch's arm. "I am not a chatterbox! I just tell you things that are pertinent."

They turned the corner and stopped in front of a small conference room where Hotch could see a group of 12 individuals sitting around the table. They appeared normal to him- some were patients like he was and others were in street clothes. Allison opened the door and whispered, "Good luck," before turning and heading back towards the main foyer.

Hotch slowly stepped inside and sat down at the closest chair to the door. All the relaxed feelings he had about going to therapy disappeared instantly.

The director of the group stepped into the room and in a loud voice said, "Good morning all. I hope everyone had a great week. Oh -who are you?" The director placed a case of notebooks on the table and looked up to Hotch when he spotted the new face.

Here goes nothing. " I'm Aaron Hotchner. I'm a patient here."

"Oh! Nice to meet you, Aaron. I'm Michael- I run the group here once a week. I'm glad you're here….why don't you tell the rest of the group why you're here and a few things about yourself."

"Well, I used to work with the…..Justice Department," he started to say, deciding to conceal that he used to be an FBI agent, " and I am here because I was sexually assaulted by an dangerous individual I had encountered last year."

"And how are you holding up?"

No super analyzing or critiquing. I'll think I'll be alright here. "I'm doing ok." He smiled and settled into the chair. "I'm beginning to deal with it."

July

"Aaron, how do you feel?" Ames asked Hotch while sitting in Ames'office. They were in the middle of one of Hotch's weekly therapy sessions.

"I'm pretty good."

"I'm happy that you feel that way. I'm glad you gave me the suicide note...I don't think you wanted to truly die that day. You were so brunt and short- it around like it wasn't even written by you."

Hotch could see the opened envelope sitting on the psychiatrist's desk. " I haven't been able to read it and no one else besides Morgan knows that it exists."

"Don't worry about it. One day you'll read it...and maybe you and Jessica or maybe even your friends can look through it. How are the guilty feelings regarding Ms. Hotchner?"

Hotch sat up and smiled. "They're...not bad at all. They really come and go...especially after I went to Haley's gravestone."

"And the team?"

"We'll be alright."

The tip of the pencil touched the psychiatrist's lip. "And you and Agent Morgan?"

"Its...We're at peace and dealing with what had happened. Like the team, we'll be alright."

"And Foyet?"

The hardest part..." Iknow what he did was to destroy me and it had initially worked, but I know that I have to try and move past it it. It'll take some time."

Ames nodded before sitting up and saying, "Alright, come with me, Aaron."

Ames placed the notepad onto his desk and walked out of the office. Hotch stared at where the psychiatrist once sat before running after him in complete confusion. When Hotch caught up, Ames was standing and smiling in front of the main doorway of the break room. Inside were balloons, food, cake, and his family and friends.

"What's this?" Hotch asked, entering the room. Jack ran into his arms and yelled, "Daddy, there is good news." Allison took his hand and smiled, a single tear running down her cheek.

"What's up?".

"Aaron-"

For the briefest second, Hotch flashbacked to eight months ago when he held the knife right over his stomach. His face was stained in tears as he decided that life wasn't worth living for and slammed the knife into his abdomen. Now eight months later, he was healthier, happier, and stronger, surrounded by people who love him and care deeply for him. He felt a tear leave his face as Allison finished,

"Aaron, you're going home."