Author's Notes:

This chapter is mostly the aftermath of the battle. Even though it sometimes was difficult to write (especially Kanda… again) I'm still happy with how it turned out.

The same again: italics means French still applies here! Though I continue being inconsistent about it…!

Disclaimer: D. Gray-Man belongs to Katsura Hoshino

Kapitel 66: Blurring the boundaries

Ash and smoke and oily blood. Ellen hated battlefields after the battle had been fought out. Her fingers were numb from her strong grip on her sword and from the pain that pulsated through her, like waves spreading from a slash over the right side of her chest. She hated the feeling after a battle like this, knowing that it was over for now, but having to pick up all that which had been destroyed in the process. Kanda was sitting in front of her, elbows on his knees, head hung. Ellen didn't know whether he was just angry or if he was actually… crying. Everything was silent but for Ellen's breathing, uneven, laboured.

"Yu…," she started after a while, her throat hurting from screaming and the smoke and tears she had not yet dared to cry. He didn't say anything and she lifted her hand to her cheek, covering the bruise where he had hit her. It was the second time he had done so… She still remembered it well. "I'm really sorry… I knew you'd be angry, but I had no choice…" Kanda stirred and he lifted his head just slightly. He wiped the back of his hand over his eyes before he looked up to her, wearing an angry, reproachful expression. She was taken aback by it, but didn't dare to speak up.

"We need to get out of here. You're all hurt," he said coldly and picked himself up from the floor. Ellen followed his movement with her eyes. Hurt… Yes… He too was hurt. She had hurt him.

"Yu…"

"Shut up. I don't want to hear anything right now," he said, bending down to grab her arm and lift her up. When she stood on shaky legs, blood soaking her white stockings, he picked her up. She put her arms around Kanda's neck and let herself be carried over to where Mari was.

"Are you alright?" he asked and Ellen could see him holding his left hand with his right.

"Yes, but what about you? Your… fingers?" Mari laughed silently, shaking his head.

"It's okay. I still have another eight," he told her and Ellen took a sharp breath, widening her eyes. "What about Timothy and Link?" Mari asked, preferring to avert her attention. They walked over the orphanage, where Link was waiting.

"Timothy is alright. He's down with the others," he said, looking rather injured himself, but nothing all too grave. "We need to get out of this barrier. We need medical equipment." Nobody argued with that. Kanda set Ellen down on the stairs in the entry hall and went to turn the door knob. Nothing happened, it was locked and not even violence could get it to open.

"No chance. It's properly sealed. As long as the seal's not broken from the outside we're not going anywhere," he said, still calm. Ellen put her hand on the railing and started standing up. "YOU!" Kanda shouted and she widened her eyes, looking at him. "SIT. DOWN." Both Mari and Link blinked at Kanda in confusion. "Mari," Kanda started, voice sharp, but calm again, pointing at a door further along the corridor that had not been torn down, "They have first aid equipment. Get Link to wrap you up. Then take the first aid kit down into the basement where the others are. See if you can do anything to help." Mari nodded at once, walking past the stairs and into the room. Link frowned at Kanda, then at Ellen. But the girl was sitting on the stairs, head lowered, without saying anything. The inspector sighed, then he went after Mari.

Kanda put Mugen on the floor and leant against the door. Neither Ellen nor Kanda were saying anything. The only sound were muffled voices coming from Link and Mari talking behind the closed door and the crying of the kids downstairs.

"Here," Link said, putting some bandages and other things into Kanda's hands, "maybe you need it." Kanda glared at him, then Link went after Mari, going downstairs to the children. When they were both gone Kanda looked at the things in his hands, then he raised his eyes to Ellen. "Oi." She looked up and saw Kanda walking up to her.

"It can wait until we're back in the infirmary," Ellen told him silently.

"You're bleeding all over the carpet," Kanda informed her and Ellen sighed.

"Yu… Please…," she said.

"Ellen." Kanda stopped her, looking down at her with narrowed eyes. After holding her gaze for a few minutes he averted his eyes, sighing deeply. He swept his hair out of his face, then he walked up to her and sat down next to her, putting the bandages away. She leant against him instantly, pressing her forehead against his shoulder. "Have you become so powerful that you think you have to fight your battles all alone?" Ellen lifted her head, looking at him through her tousled bangs, blood making them stick together. Kanda sighed, shaking his head. "You absolutely have to rely on your comrades in battle."

"But you don't," Ellen dared to say, grabbing the fabric of his trousers. It was loose around his thigh and she could feel his muscles tense underneath her touch. "You always want to fight your battles alone."

"There's a huge difference between you other exorcists and me," Kanda said and Ellen screwed up her face. "If you're fighting in a team, then rely on the strengths of others. That's how you win battles. By team work. I never attempted to kill the Level four all on my own, I knew I could not do it without taking great damage myself."

"But I could…! I had the chance to-" Kanda stopped her by putting his hand on her shoulder, looking at her. His face was not calm anymore, far from calm actually.

"I know! You saw a chance, you thought like a very experienced exorcists, not fearing any damage to your body if it means to complete your mission. However," Kanda's grasp on her shoulder intensified and Ellen winced slightly. "How stupid must you be to pierce yourself with your sword?" he hissed and Ellen pressed her lips together.

"It doesn't harm humans…!" she argued, repeating what she had said to the Akuma before, but she shut her mouth before she finished the sentence. Because it had failed. The sword had failed her, yet again. And it had been so painful, so shocking, so… so terrifying.

"But you're on your way to become a Noah, for God's sake! Ellen! And even more importantly, you have a baby inside of you! How could you possibly decide to risk to damage him as well?" Ellen remained silent, not able to say anything. No apology, she felt, would be able to appease her husband right now. It was her fault, she had risked too much. Kanda narrowed his eyes and let go of her shoulder. "Tch!"

"A… Are you okay…?" a timid voice asked and Ellen looked up; Timothy was standing next to the stairs, hands on the wooden poles making up the railing. He looked through them with a worried expression. "Why… Why are you crying?" Ellen opened her mouth in surprise and lifted her hands to her cheeks.

"Oh… am I crying?" she whispered, wiping the tears away, then she forced a smile on her lips while Kanda was silent. He had his head rested against the wall, staring up at the ceiling. "There," Ellen said, tears gone from her cheeks, "everything's fine now." Nothing was fine at all. Timothy hesitated but walked around the staircase and came to stand in front of the two. He fidgeted around a bit, grabbing the hem of his shirt.

"Timothy…? What is the matter?" Ellen wondered and he looked up at her, biting his lips shyly.

"Is that true…? Are you going to have a bébé?" Ellen looked at him in surprise and saw his eyes travelling to her stomach. Kanda lifted his head, looking at the boy. "When… I was inside your body… I could feel something move around. It was really scary," he continued. Ellen looked at Kanda, but he had already averted his eyes again, palms folded together, the fingers pressed against his forehead. She wanted to reach out to him, to comfort him, but she couldn't. There was something stopping her; fear? Guilt?

"Y… Yes… That was the baby," she said uncertainly and clenched her fists. It wasn't moving now. She felt nothing at all.

"C… Can I feel?" Ellen looked down at him, into his shy but also excited face and couldn't help nodding. She held out her hand and he grabbed it, letting himself be pulled up the steps and he sat down between Kanda and Ellen. Ellen opened her jacket, revealing the white undershirt she wore tucked into her low-cut skirt. Kanda couldn't bear looking, couldn't bear seeing the by now familiar curve of her stomach. Timothy raised his hand and let it hover over her stomach, then he placed it there, feeling. He was silent for a long time, a concentrated pout on his lips.

"I don't feel anything…," he said with a tone of confusion. Kanda got up from the stairs abruptly, jumping down the stairs and slamming his fist against the door. The sound of his fingers cracking made the other two flinch. He put his head against the door, Ellen could see his fingers clenching into fists, the blood dropping from the healing wound on his knuckles.

"Yu…," Ellen started, biting her lips, but felt Timothy bend over her, resting his cheek against her stomach. He embraced her, listening to her breathing with his eyes closed. For some reason it felt very comforting for Ellen and she fought against new tears. After a few silent moments Timothy opened his eyes, smiling.

"Ah, there it is. It's tickling my cheek." Ellen widened her eyes and Kanda turned around again, staring at the two. Timothy giggled. "I think it's saying hello!" Kanda walked back to them with hurried steps and pulled Timothy away by the collar, putting him back down on the stairs next to Ellen. He put his hand on Ellen's stomach. His face was very dark, waiting, but then both of them felt it; a light kick. A relieved sighed passed Kanda's lips, then he reached up to cup Ellen's cheek into his palm, looking at her. There were tears trickling down her face and she continued chewing her lip.

"It's still alive," Ellen whispered and Kanda nodded.

"Yes…" Timothy watched Kanda put a kiss on Ellen's forehead and hugging her with wonder.

"Huh… Me too," he decided and embraced Ellen as well.

"Get your hands off her!" Kanda growled, but he was far too relieved to be really angry.

"No!" Ellen laughed, hugging both of them. She was glad, so glad!

"Thank you…!"

-o-

After some time Link, Mari and the young girl – Emilia – came back into the corridor.

"There are no all too dangerous injuries," Link started, giving the door a thoughtful look, "but we need to get out of this barrier soon…"

"I already tried breaking through it with Innocence," Kanda said angrily, rapping his knuckles against the window, "it's absolutely no use…" He darted a look to his wife. She was still sitting on the stairs, but now had her head in her hands. She was exhausted and in pain, like all the others were. They had to get out.

"Sooner or later my father will come here. Maybe he can open the door from the outside… We should just wait a bit longer," Emilia suggested weakly, holding her left shoulder. Timothy got up from the stairs, making Ellen raise her eyes as well.

"You should be downstairs! Lying down like the others! You got shot!" he shouted, but Emilia merely pouted, darting Kanda a shy look. It was apparent that she'd rather stay up here, where he was.

"If you're hurt, then you'll better go lie down," Kanda told her and she bit her lips, but she remained where she was. Kanda rolled his eyes, "then sit down over there!" He pointed to the stairs were Ellen was sitting. Emilia nodded and sat down next to Ellen.

"Aaah. He's rude, but so elegant," she said with a flustered face and Ellen couldn't help frowning at that.

"He's actually quite nice," she whispered and Emilia turned her head towards Ellen with a surprised expression. Suddenly the white haired girl blushed. She should not have said anything. Emilia grinned at her.

"I see, that's even better," she said dreamily. Ellen looked at her with a slightly disgruntled expression.

"You're making a funny face, Emilia," Timothy remarked and the girl glared at the young boy. At least the dreamy expression had left her face. Ellen was not in enough pain to not care about another woman swooning over her husband. She should not care, really, but… Ah, it still made her feel tense.

Suddenly there was a noise at the door, the knob turned and it opened. A warm sunray shone into the entrance and inspector Galmar stared at the beaten up people sitting around.

"What the hell is going on here?" he asked incredulously.

"How the hell did he get inside?" Kanda said at almost the same time and Emilia got up from the stairs.

"Papa?" The man directed his eyes toward the girl and instantly grew pale seeing all the blood on his daughter.

"Emilia!" He turned his eyes towards Kanda, glaring at him.

"Into what nonsense have you dragged my daughter?" Kanda rolled his eyes and looked out of the door where he could see nothing out of the ordinary. Apparently the barrier had been broken. But how?

"Hey Kanda! Are you alright?" He saw River Wenham coming up the stairs, scratching his head apologetically. "Sorry, it took a while to remove the seals, but we managed." Kanda nodded at him.

"There are injured people. A lot of children too," he said. River called to the other people that he had apparently gotten out of prison, Kanda could see Jiji waving at him from outside.

"The exorcists can leave the building. We'll check on the civilians," River said and Kanda nodded. He walked over to the stairs. He first helped Emilia up, which both Galmar and Ellen observed with mixed feelings.

"Oh, thank you," Emilia said, with a shy smile on her face. Kanda just snorted and Galmar put his jacket over her shoulders, fussing over her.

"Come, let's get you out," Kanda said, picking Ellen up from the stairs and carrying her outside. "There's too much Akuma gas around."

"I have parasitic Innocence, I can manage," Ellen said, but she still took a deep breath of warm air when they were outside. Kanda didn't seem to want to put her down again, so he just continued holding her.

"You do, but I doubt our son does," Kanda replied and Ellen's expression became tense again. "We don't know how he'll be affected."

"O… Of course, you are right." Ellen spotted Galmar coming out of the door and his expression was rather dark.

"Inspector… Are you alright?" she wondered and Kanda sat her back down on her feet. She squeezed her eyes together shortly because the bullet wounds in her legs were hurting, but then she steadied herself. Galmar eyed both of them – especially Kanda – suspiciously.

"Nothing is alright here! This is crazy!" he hissed and Ellen couldn't help smiling at this.

"We know… But that is how it is…," she told him and he sighed gravely. The man let himself fall down on the stairs, shaking his head.

"This is my fault… I should have been more careful. Only because we wanted to arrest him did Timothy's father make him swallow the jewel…! Can't you just look the other way this time? Don't take him with you, please!" Ellen could see Timothy standing in the door, looking at Galmar with a surprised expression, then a smile formed on his lips.

"I know that this is painful for you, but a human cannot protect him against Akuma that will surely come for him again… It is safer for all of you if he comes with us," Ellen told him gently. Galmar let his head hang, sighing deeply.

"Don't you have to arrest me anyway, Galmar?" Timothy asked and the inspector looked up.

"It's still Mister Galmar for you!" he said, but then he groaned, "how could I arrest you?" The boy grinned, then he walked down the steps to where Ellen was, smiling up at her.

"Well then everything's decided! The director is old and the kids are all too small. It's boring! I can't possibly resist the temptation!" he said and everyone looked at him, "I, Timothy Hearst, 9 years old, will become an exorcist!" Ellen looked at him uncertainly, but then she nodded.

"That is the best thing to do. You are already very mature," she complimented, patting his head. Timothy grinned, his face a bit flustered.

"Okay, guys! Let's open up a portal of the Ark!" River announced, coming out of the building, "we need to get everyone into the Order's hospital to treat them." He walked up to Ellen, putting his hand on her shoulder. "Are you up to it? You look a bit green in the face…"

"Oh… Oh no, it's nothing! I'll do it right away!" she said, smiling uneasily. Kanda looked at her out of the corner of the eyes.

"Uhm… Excuse me, Mister…" Kanda turned to his side, seeing Emilia standing before him.

"Kanda." Emilia smiled her dreamy smile again and Ellen almost opened up a gate to a pub in some backwater place in England.

"Yes, Mister Kanda. Does Timothy really need to stay at this place?" Kanda nodded and Emilia sighed deeply. "But he's just a kid." Kanda merely looked at her, if he felt any sort of remorse for Timothy then he didn't show it.

"Kid or not. That doesn't make a difference. If he's old enough to use his Innocence, he's old enough to be an exorcist," he told her and Emilia bit her lips. "He will be taken care of. Don't worry."

"Ellen? Ellen are you still in there?" River asked, waving his hand in front of Ellen's face and Ellen blinked up at the scientist. "You really need to rest, you seem to space out all of the time!" Ellen laughed, but her face reverted back to a frown when he had gone through the gate. She was not spacing out, she was merely distracted.

"What is the place we're going to like?" Timothy asked, playing with Timcampy while watching the children go through the portal. "This is just like magic…!" Ellen took her eyes off the gate to look at the boy. "Is it nice? Black Order doesn't sound very nice."

"Oh, it is nice! It's in a big, big castle!" Timothy widened his eyes. "And you'll get your own room and there's as much food as you can eat!" The boy giggled and hugged Ellen's waist.

"That sounds exciting!"

"Yes…" Ellen said quietly, "exciting…" When everyone was through the gate, Kanda walked up to his wife.

"We're set. Let's go home," he told her and Ellen sighed. Kanda tilted his head to the side, looking her in the face. "What's the matter?"

"This mission was awful… I-" Kanda put his hand around her shoulder, pulling her with him into the gate.

"Let's talk about that once the matron has made sure that everything's alright with you. You'd better get some rest." Ellen sighed, but nodded. Yes… She needed rest.

-o-

The matron was all but happy when they came back from a seemingly harmless mission with a bunch of feverish civilians and with far too heavy injuries.

"You're really impossible! You exorcists! Why don't you care about your bodies?" she shouted, her forehead wrinkled in worry and anger. Kanda helped Ellen sit down on the bed, keeping his hand on her shoulder to steady her. She just winced at his touch and he drew his hand back in surprise. The matron raised her eyebrow at once and pushed Kanda away, unbuttoning Ellen's top.

"What kind of injuries did she sustain?" the matron asked, not taking her eyes off Ellen.

"Akuma bullets to the right side of her body, mostly shoulder and legs," Kanda said and Ellen was surprised that he had had the time to actually pay attention to these things. "Various cut wounds, but they are probably less severe than the bullet wounds. Also…," when he stopped the matron looked up at him. Kanda raised his hand to his face, rubbing the corner of his eye and down his cheek. The matron observed this with alarm.

"I stabbed myself with the Innocence sword," Ellen spoke up quietly when Kanda wouldn't continue. The matron looked back down to the girl, her expression surprised. "I…" She lowered her eyes. The matron didn't say anything, but took off her jacked, but when she wanted to take off the blood stained undershirt as well, Ellen resisted, lifting her hand to put it on the Matron's wrist. "No. Please…"

"Ellen. I have to check that…" Ellen bit her lip, then she looked up at Kanda. He held her gaze for a moment. She saw him tense up – probably resisting her silent plea – but then he sighed and turned around.

"I'll be outside. Call me back in when you need me." He left the infirmary without another word, quietly shutting the door. The matron didn't move for a moment, still looking at the closed door, then she slowly turned back to Ellen.

"What was that about…?" she wondered and Ellen just took off her top. The old woman drew in a sharp breath; over the right side of her upper body a long, unsightly scar had formed. "Oh God…!"

"It's because of the Innocence… I… I didn't…," Ellen stopped, putting her hands over her face in frustration and shame. The matron leaned down, embracing the girl, stroking her hair.

"You foolish, poor girl!" Ellen returned the embrace, glad for the bit of comfort she received from the hug. The matron let go of her again, brushing stray hair out of Ellen's pale and sweaty face. "Don't worry… We'll treat you as good as we can. You just focus on recovering, alright?" Ellen nodded, wiping away her tears. The matron smiled as reassuringly as she could manage. When the old woman had turned away for a moment to direct orders to the other nurses, Ellen clenched her hands, a sharp pain went through her body, staring from the scar.

"Ellen? Are you alright?" the matron asked and Ellen looked up at her. Everything was blurry. Was the matron saying something? Ah, it didn't matter… She just wanted to go to sleep.

-o-

"Hm." Ellen woke with a start. She looked around; she was in her room, but she wasn't alone. Hadn't she just heard someone utter a sound? She looked into the direction of the table and widened her eyes. The 14th was sitting there, watching her with an interested expression. Ellen couldn't find her voice to say anything, so the 14th wiped her wavy hair out of her face and grinned at her.

"You're quite the gambler, aren't you?"

"Why are you here?" Ellen finally managed to ask, but the Noah only turned her head to the side slightly, looking at her with a smile.

"I'm always here, you know. And because of your little stunt there's almost nothing between you and me anymore. We are about to become one person." Ellen shook her head.

"No!"

"You're a silly girl, aren't you? You can't say no now," the 14th told her, twirling a lock around her finger. "I told you about your options; either you accept me or I'll take you over and you'll be gone. I think you are quite aware of what you should choose, considering that you still want to live, don't you?" Ellen remained silent, glaring at the woman in front of her. "Oh!" she exclaimed, lifting her hands, "don't look at me like that." She got up from her chair, Ellen noticing with alarm that she wore the exorcist uniform, but other than Ellen she was definitely not pregnant… The 14th seemed bemused at Ellen's incredulous look and walked to the bed, sitting on in. Ellen wanted to draw back, but she couldn't move at all. "Your body will start reacting against your awakening. It won't be easy, so you'd better be prepared for it. You can't run away anymore, Ellen. I've been there, I've been you. Soon, you'll be me." Ellen widened her eyes. What was she talking about? The Noah reached out her hand and cupped Ellen's cheek. "You are still afraid, but I'm here. I will help you." Her touch was warm and she smiled. Ellen felt as if she were looking into a mirror and this scared her almost to death.

-o-

"Ellen?" Ellen slowly opened her eyes. There was a warm hand against her cheek and after she had blinked a few times she could see Kanda looking down at her with a worried expression. "Are you conscious?" He patted her cheek lightly and Ellen properly opened her eyes.

"Hnn…? Kanda?" He leant down and placed a kiss on her forehead.

"You had a high fever. But I think it's better now," he said, lips still on her warm skin. When he drew back Ellen tried sitting up. Kanda helped her, keeping his hands on her back. She looked around. She was in her room, but the Noah was gone. There was only Kanda. "What's the matter?" Kanda asked when she was holding her forehead.

"I've been dreaming of the 14th…" Kanda looked at her, then he snorted.

"Yes… I'm not surprised. You actually woke her up with your…," he stopped and shrugged. Ellen lifted her head, looking at him in surprise.

"I… I did? What did I do? What did I say?" she asked frantically and grabbed Kanda's hands.

"I understand that you're worried… But you did nothing. It's alright. You just said…" Kanda frowned.

"What?"

"Good morning," he repeated and Ellen blinked up at him.

"Good morning? What is that supposed to mean?" Kanda shook his head and Ellen sighed deeply. "I... I think it will happen soon…" Ellen grabbed her upper arms staring at the blanket in front of her without actually seeing anything. "I… I'm so afraid!" Kanda put his arms around her, kissing her.

"We will get you through this, Ellen… You're not on your own," he told her and a quiet sob escaped Ellen's lips, but she reached out, putting her hands on Kanda's chest.

"Yu…," she started, but she didn't say anything else. There was silence for a long time, where Ellen just took comfort in Kanda's embrace and the even rising and falling of his chest. "Did the matron say anything…? About the child I mean…?" she dared to ask after a while and felt Kanda go rigid once again. He let go of her, but still kept her hands in his.

"Everything seems to be fine. She could not make out anything suspicious… I think we don't need to worry. She firmly believes that he'll be healthy when he's born in two months." Ellen could see Kanda wrinkle his nose at that and she couldn't help smiling.

"It's hard to imagine, isn't it? That in two months we'll be parents…" Kanda sighed, shaking his head.

"I'm so… tense," he told her, lowering his head. He let go of one of her hands and placed them on Ellen's stomach. She flinched in surprise, but didn't oppose the touch. "When I… when you stabbed yourself I went almost mad with worry." She looked up at him, but he kept his eyes on the slight movement on his hand over her belly. "You were taken over by the Noah then. And for a short moment I thought I'd lost you… And then… Then I was afraid that maybe the baby had taken damage as well. I…"

"Yu," Ellen whispered and pulled him near when she saw the pained expression on his face. He didn't resist at all, resting his head on her shoulder, letting her draw her fingers through his hair. "I'm so sorry… I was also afraid of having killed our child…," she told him silently, "but what made me hate myself most was to see how afraid and sad you were. It was as… as if you just couldn't bear it."

"I don't think I would have gotten over that easily," Kanda told her, his voice slightly muffled. "I don't even know the kid yet, it's not even alive yet, but still… I didn't want it to be gone…" Ellen squeezed her eyes shut.

"But…," Ellen dug her fingers into the fabric of Kanda's shirt, then she let go of him. "But!" Her voice broke and Kanda raised his head to look at her. Ellen was crying but tried to hide her tears behind her hands. "I couldn't bear the fact that you would not look at me anymore! I was afraid that you hated me because I did this!" Kanda looked at her in surprise, then he clenched his teeth. He grabbed her shoulders, Ellen wincing at the pain his strong grip caused her right shoulder, but Kanda merely pushed her down, glaring into her face.

"Yes! Yes you were stupid! I don't know what I would have done if your actions would have caused our child to die!" he shouted and Ellen's sobs intensified. Kanda pried her hands away from her face. "Look at me, beansprout!" he hissed and Ellen dared to open her eyes. Kanda's face was very close to hers. "But I was far more afraid of what would happen to you! You are still and will always be the most important person in my entire life! I could never hate you! I'd rather hate myself for not being able to protect you!" He bent down and roughly kissed her on the lips, effectively stopping another sob from passing her lips. She widened her eyes, but was more than willing to return his kiss. Desperate even for a sign that she had not lost his affection. When he drew away he groaned and let himself drop down on the bed next to her, arms linked behind his head. His expression was rather grim. Ellen wiped the tears from her face, trying to stop hiccupping. "Ellen. I'm your husband."

"Y… Yes?" the girl managed to say between hiccups.

"And the husband takes care of his wife, he provides for her, he shelters her," he went on and Ellen merely nodded, not entirely sure what he was on about. Kanda turned his head to the side, looking at her with a grave expression, but the arms linked behind his head made him appear almost casual. "I don't want you to fight like this anymore. I don't care what Central has to say about this. You no longer belong on the battle field, at least not now and not in the next few months. I will not allow you to go out there and endanger yourself any more than this!"

"But…" Ellen raised herself up, looking down at her husband with a surprised expression. "You can't decide that! We are exorcists, we don't choose our missions!"

"I'm your husband," Kanda firmly stated, "I can decide what you don't do!" Ellen looked at him incredulously.

"But-"

"No buts. Absolutely no buts!" he called, pushing himself up on his elbows. Ellen frowned, but she didn't contradict him. "I know you will have to go back eventually, I know that everyone has great hopes for you. I know you're strong and I know you're able. But," he looked up at her with his eyebrows drawn down. "when the time comes, I want you to use me as your shield." Ellen widened her eyes, unable to retort anything. "I will heal, no matter what happens."

"But you're not immortal!" Ellen shouted, shaking her head. "I will not use you as my shield!" Kanda sat up and grabbed her wrist. The girl winced, but didn't draw back.

"But if you sustain a mortal injury then you're dead! If I protect you then I might not see our child grow up, yes, but at least then you won't wake up again in my body!" Ellen widened her eyes, staring at his completely serious face.

"You… You wouldn't possibly bring me back, would you…?" she dared to ask with a cold feeling spreading in her stomach and his frown intensified. "Kanda!" She put her hands on his leg. "You are not that stupid! You wouldn't do that!"

"Wouldn't I?" he asked with a bitter smile on his lips. "Maybe I'll be rash too in a grief-stricken moment," he told her and Ellen glared at him despite the worry his confession caused.

"I won't die. I won't let you do such a foolish thing!" Ellen proclaimed and Kanda's smile became warmer. "I'll never die! You won't get rid of me again, stupid Kanda!"

"I'll trust in this promise, don't break it!" he warned and Ellen flung her arms around him, embracing him tightly.

"I won't," she whispered, kissing the corner of his mouth, "I want to stay by your side." He touched his forehead against her. "Oh, why do we always have to end up arguing about things like this when we try to speak about serious matters?" she said with a deep sigh. Kanda kissed her lips.

"I love you, Ellen," he told her and Ellen's heart clenched upon hearing this.

"I…," she started and Kanda pulled back enough to be able to look into her face. She was blushing. "I… I love you too… Yu," she told him and he smiled at her, a genuine smile. A warm and relieved smile that touched her very core. She pulled her lips up into a shy smile as well. But then she gasped and Kanda widened his eyes at once. She held her left shoulder, digging her fingers into the fabric of her blouse.

"Ellen! Hey!" Kanda called, sitting up with her, holding her.

"I… I'll be fine!" she hissed through her teeth, but Kanda saw the pained expression on her face, saw how she was trembling.

"We need to get you to the infirmary!" Kanda shouted when Ellen lowered her head, almost curling in on herself, breathing loudly. She let go of her shoulder and put her hand on Kanda's. It was hot and heavy on his shoulder.

"No…," she said breathlessly, then she raised her head. Kanda froze when he saw the smile on her pale face, noticing how her hair now fell over her shoulders in waves. "I will be fine."

"You…" She sat up straight, the nails of her Innocence hand digging into the flesh of Kanda's shoulder. He didn't flinch, but glared into her face.

"How nice to see you again, Kanda brat!"

To be continued

Notes:

I was very concerned about writing Kanda's emotions regarding Ellen's actions. He appears to be more affected than Ellen.

I was glad to be able to use Timothy to ease the tension and I'm sure I'll bring him in again to mediate a bit between the two!

But it's really strange; whenever I write the two of them starting on a serious topic the situation kind of gets out of hand and I end the conversation at a different point from where I started. *lol*

And the Noah returns! ;3 Next chapter will have Kanda and the 14th interacting as well as some secrets being revealed!