A/N I know it's sad, but I promise a happy ending, a very happy ending that will make up for all the pain I'm putting you through. :)

March 19, 2013, Aria got her acceptance letter into Columbia. Piling it on top of her other acceptance letters, including one from Hollis and another from UCLA, she sighed and pulled out a book from the drawer by her desk. Ezra had given it to her Valentine's Day. As promised, it was a regular book from Rosewood's bookstore downtown. Aria reread the title page before she turned to the first chapter. Winesburg, Ohio it read. She looked at the inscription on the book. For When you leave Rosewood…Ezra had written.

She sighed and read the first sentence. Ezra had been almost like his old self lately. There had been no extravagant gifts, no more trips to New York. Other than the fact that he had been dutifully working on his book, she would almost expect to see him is the hallways of Rosewood High. It was where he belonged. She was starting to remember the old Ezra, and even in the wake of this new one she believed that he was still the man she loved. He would cherish her forever, she knew that. But he seemed preoccupied with something else now. Suddenly, she turned back to the inscription page. He was preoccupied about her leaving.

Aria looked to where the letter from Columbia sat on her desk. Was he afraid that she would leave and come back someone other than the girl next door? She had already lived away from him, when she had gone to Iceland, and she had come back in love with him. Why then was he so worried? Abruptly angry she threw the book across the room. Why was he making her wait. She loved him. She would never love anyone else. She would never want to be with anyone else. He wasn't her teacher anymore, and she wasn't his student. She wasn't twelve and he wasn't twenty-two. Hadn't he healed by now? Couldn't he let go of the past and hold onto the future, hold on to her? She meant what she wrote all that time ago, the Springers had taught her that life is too short not to go after what you wanted.

Grabbing her journal from the bedside table, she began to write. After she had scrawled the first few sentences, her anger had quickly abated. Her hurried strokes began calmer and more peaceful. Her thoughts began to settle as she stopped thinking about the what-ifs of her life.

"You okay?" a voice asked suddenly.

Startled Aria looked up from her bed, "Yeah, I'm fine, Mike," she answered easily.

Her brother noticed she wasn't smiling. "Are you sure? I thought I heard you throw something?" he asked pointedly.

"I did," she supplied, refusing to explain. Mike glanced at the book that lay in a corner of her room.

Walking a few steps into his sister's bedroom, he looked at her carefully before answering, "If this is about Ezra, then maybe you should talk to him about it."

"I don't want to talk to him," said Aria shortly.

"He has his reasons you know," Mike said quietly before heading back to his room.

"I know," whispered Aria.

March 19, 2013

When I went up to New York in November, Ezra talked about his apartment about me redecorating it. Was he just teasing me? Does he not want to come with me? He's more than just my English teacher. He's more than just my neighbor! Doesn't he know that by now? If he doesn't then Mom was right when she told me that all boys are dumb. Granted, I was seven when she said that, but if it was true then, isn't it true now? I know he means best, I know. I just can't help thinking about the what-if questions. What if this hadn't happened? What if this had happened?

Mike just left. I feel better, I think, to get that out there. I miss the Ezra who used to cuddle with me on the couch and the Ezra who bought us take out and told me about his life. I feel so closed off from him right now. This new Ezra is involved in a book he won't even let me read and he's almost done with it. Does this new Ezra expect me to leave without him? Of course, I know the old Ezra did. But I'm not leaving without him. I can't leave without him. He means too much to me. It would be like trying to breath under water.

Maybe I just have tell myself to have patience. I thought that when I turned eighteen, we could be together. Maybe he's waiting for graduation? Or another life event that I'm not aware of? I guess I need to be content with my friends and my family, and that includes Ezra the way he is now. Like Mom says, he's family.

Ezra Fitz looked up to the podium temporarily placed on the Rosewood High gym, right under the basketball hoop. It was June 6, 2013. Graduation day. He saw Emily, Spencer, and Hanna smiling and shining with happiness. He also saw Noel Khan, giving him a dirty look as he sat in the bleachers. Ezra didn't care anymore. He was only there for Aria. She looked beautiful in her black cap and gown, her beautiful brown hair straightened and left hanging freely. She was smiling.

Ella shuffled in the seat next to him, and he saw that she was reaching for her camera. Frowning momentarily, he thought about his own high school graduation and how his own father neglected to be there. Pushing that thought into the back of his head, he looked to where Byron and Mike sat on the other side of Ella. This is what a family is meant to look like.

He half-listened as Spencer gave her valedictorian speech. It was quite good. She talked about life's sudden changes and unexpected happenings. He noticed that Mr. Hastings looked especially uncomfortable as Spencer directed her gaze towards him. As Spencer finished talking about moving on and moving forward, he watched as the graduating seniors lined up near the stage and walked across it to receive their diplomas. Because Aria's last name was Montgomery, she was toward the middle of the line. Even when he thought about that exact moment years later, it would still fill him with an indescribable feeling. Like Aria once wrote, there are some things that couldn't be described with words.

Ezra took pictures with Aria, and some of the other students who had had him as their English teacher asked him for pictures too. But that night, Aria spent it celebrating with her friends. He was left alone in his house, left to write his book in the solitude of his own life. He felt a pang of pain as he thought about her questioning eyes as she looked at him. How she had tried, unsuccessfully, to kiss him in public. He moved so that her lips caught his cheek.

Sitting alone in his own bedroom, he took out his journal from where it had been laying on his nightstand and began to pour his thoughts and feelings on the page.

June 6, 2013

Aria was in this room once. She had the compassion to think about the people who lived here before I did. She thought about the consequences of the affect she had on me. She seems to think about almost everyone and everything but herself. I wonder if I think too much or if I am not thoughtful enough.

I once told her we had to wait. I once told her that our time would be together would be when we no longer had to ask the question of whether or not we should or could be together. The way she looked at me today, her eyes questioning—it was not time. She doesn't know how desperately I wish it to be, how my body aches for her touch. But pushing her into something she isn't ready for is something I don't want to do. The last birthday letter I read from my mother was for my twenty-fifth birthday. She talked about love and marriage, about finding the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. My mother talked about what it meant to cherish someone with your whole being.

I don't know if my mother thought I would be married by my twenty-fifth birthday. I don't know if she thought that I would be going through some of the same struggles my father went through. I love Aria, and I will wait until I know what we want will be blessed by her parents and by society as a whole. It is cruel to sentence someone to live a life that is scorned by others.

I hope she understands how precious she is to me. She doesn't like that I spoil her. She actually gave me a lecture when I made sure she and her friends had a ride for prom. I understand that material things are not a substitute for relationships with other human beings. What she doesn't understand is that I couldn't go with her that night, I can't be her teacher anymore either. So what am I? Neither boyfriend nor teacher? It's all I can give her. That and loving her from afar.

As Ezra finished up his journal entry, the longest he had written in weeks, he felt his phone buzz in his pocket.

"Hello?" he answered tiredly.

"Hey, man," replied Hardy. "Are we going out tonight? It's Friday."

Ezra groaned quietly before saying, "Not tonight. I don't think I'm up for it."

"You okay?" asked Hardy, concerned.

"I'm fine," answered Ezra. "I've been thinking about my mom."

"Oh," said Hardy. He was silent for a moment. "Are you sure you should be alone right now? You've been shut up in your house for days."

"Yeah," replied Ezra. "I think I'm going to call it an early night."

"Next Friday?" asked Hardy hopefully.

"Yeah, I'll see you next Friday," said Ezra. "Good night."

"Good night, man," responded Hardy before hanging up the phone.

True to his word, Ezra almost immediately went to bed for the night. Half-asleep hours later, he heard the screeching of car tires and the slam of shut doors. He thought he could make out Aria's voice as she said good-bye to her friends, although he may have been dreaming. It was good, he thought, for her to be out with her friends, to have fun.