Author's Note: I don't know how well this chapter is gonna go over with you guys… but I guess I'll just have to wait and see. I've considered rewriting it so many times. I actually have a few rewritten versions of it. But I'm keeping to my original plot. Yep.

Chapter 99

I squat down and look closely at the small plants growing at the base of a very thick tree. I haven't crossed the boundary around Hogwarts, but I can tell I'm getting close. The herb that I'm looking for is very rare, used in conjunction with Mandrake roots to create Mandrake Restorative Draughts.

Apparently, one of the Death Eaters in London was able to completely petrify several people. I'm assuming that he had to be one of the most powerful Death Eaters, because I haven't heard of any cause of petrification other than the stare of the basilisk. Of course, that's if you discount Transmogrifian Torture, which is most likely something that Gilderoy Lockhart made up on the spot…

I suppose there's also a Petrifying spell, but it doesn't truly turn the victim into stone—it only immobilizes the victim and turns his or her skin a pale color that looks like stone.

But I shouldn't be thinking about these things—I'm getting distracted.

As I turn my attention back to the small green clumps on the ground, I hear a loud scream, followed by cries for help.

I straighten, trying to remember who's on duty right now. The voice is coming from outside the grounds, and I can't help but suspect that this could be a trap.

But then Hannah Abbott sprints into view, heading for the Hogwarts boundary. Two Death Eaters suddenly pop into existence just outside the boundary, blocking her way, and she backpedals rapidly.

I fire a Stunning Spell at one of them, but he dodges out of the way, and both of them chase after Hannah. Cursing, I cross the boundary, firing hexes in an attempt to get them away from her.

This could be a trap. It's probably a trap. Damn it, I shouldn't have crossed the boundary.

But it's too late at this point, and I can't just let Hannah die.

She manages to hit one of them with an Impediment Jinx, but she's thrown off her feet by a Trip Jinx, and I throw a few hexes at the moving Death Eater. He turns around to face me as his comrade recovers from the Impediment Jinx, and I have to block a nasty Bat Bogey Hex from him. A third Death Eater appears and joins the fight against me.

Hannah gets back to her feet and comes toward me, clearly intending to help me out.

"Go!" I shout at her. "Go back to Hogwarts and get help!"

She pauses mid-step, then veers to her right, sprinting back toward safety. The immobilized Death Eater regains use of his limbs and chases her toward the boundary, and I hope that she can make it through in time.

The two Death Eaters shift so that they're between me and the castle, not allowing me to get between or around them. I backtrack a little, hoping that if we get farther into the woods, I'll be able to trick them into losing their sense of direction. The downside is that I may lose my sense of direction as well. I'll just have to hope that I'm smarter than they are.

The third Death Eater returns, and while I'm disappointed that I'll have three opponents instead of two, this is a good indication that Hannah made it back safely, and that reinforcements will be coming to help me soon.

Then I realize that I'm outside Hogwarts' boundaries and therefore am not impeded by the Anti-Disapparition Jinx. Of course!

I Apparate to the opposite end of the grounds, intending to get back to safety that way. But as soon as I appear, five Death Eaters close in on me. Panicking, I Apparate again to a third location, but there are three Death Eaters waiting there for me.

They must be covering the perimeter very, very well.

As I fend off these three Death Eaters, I consider my options. In all likelihood, any random point that I choose along the boundary of Hogwarts will be guarded by Death Eaters. How many of them are there? Did they also pull in reinforcements from abroad?

I decide to return to my original position—friends from the castle should be getting there soon, if Hannah made it. I Apparate to the place where I'd first encountered the Death Eaters. Instead of three opponents, there are now four, and I have to work hard to keep up with their attacks.

Then a Stinging Jinx grazes my upper arm, and I realize that the enchantments on Draco's charm must be wearing thin—the fight in London has to have worn them down quite a bit.

Damn. Is help coming or not?

Continuing to fire hexes rapidly, I reach up with my left hand and tug on the chain around my neck, pulling out the heart-shaped charm. I wrap my fist around it and send a message for help.

A Killing Curse comes directly at me, and panicking, I Disapparate.

Unsurprisingly, there are three Death Eaters ready and waiting at the new location. I can't help but wonder what the point is. They haven't asked for anything from me, and except for that one Killing Curse earlier, they haven't been aiming to kill. They seem to be content with just preventing me from getting back to safety.

And then it hits me.

What if this trap is for Draco? I imagine Bellatrix would be infuriated that her nephew turned against Voldemort. Surely she'd want to capture him to exact revenge. And if these Death Eaters aren't interested in killing or capturing me, then they must be after someone else, most likely Draco.

I give up on thinking ahead for the moment, focusing instead of defending myself from attacks—if Draco's charm is wearing off, I'll have to be even quicker to make sure I'm not taken out.

Then Draco appears only a few feet from me, Disarming two of the Death Eaters and stepping toward me. Two Stunning Spells come straight at me, and I back up three steps to get out of range. In the same instant, a horde of Death Eaters appears, closing in around us.

Draco sweeps his wand in a long arc, throwing back about a dozen of them. Then he rushes over to me and grabs my hand. He Disapparates, taking me with him. But just as we're leaving, a hand wraps around my upper arm and hangs on.

We appear in a stretch of woods that looks unfamiliar to me. I immediately brush the hand off my arm and spin, firing a Hurling Hex at the person who'd been holding onto me. The Death Eater dodges out of the way, and I see that three more followed us by getting a hold of him just as he caught onto me.

Draco notices the tagalongs and rapidly fires two Killing Curses. As grateful as I am that he was able to pull me out of there, it's a little bit scary to think that he immediately goes for the kill.

We duel with the two remaining Death Eaters, and it quickly becomes clear that these two are much more skilled than the others. I wonder if we're going up against two members of Voldemort's inner circle. I can tell that this isn't Macnair, Crabbe, Goyle, or Dolohov—the first three I recognize by dueling style and physical stature, and Dolohov… I'll always remember his mask.

So who could these two be?

Then the Death Eater who's dueling Draco whips his mask off, and his hood falls back, revealing long, flowing, black hair, and I realize that it's not a "he" at all. This is Bellatrix Lestrange.

A twinge of panic rises in my chest as I see her face, and the Death Eater that I'm up against takes advantage of my distraction—when I look back in his direction, two sets of chains are already coming at me, beginning to wrap around me.

I Vanish them wordlessly, using the skills that I've been working on for the past weeks. My quick reaction seems to surprise him, and I manage to pin him with an Impediment Jinx, followed immediately by a Stunning Spell.

As my opponent falls to the ground, something in my peripheral vision catches my attention, and I turn my head in time to see a stream of maroon light blossoming from the tip of Bellatrix's wand, heading in my direction.

But a dark gold jet of light intersects the attack, melting some of it away, and Draco steps in front of me. I grab onto his arm, trying to pull him out of the way, but it's too late—the stream of light hits him square in the chest, and a cry tears from his lips.

The maroon light dissipates, and Draco slumps backward against me, seemingly unconscious. I keep a firm grip on my wand and use my other arm in an attempt to support him.

As I Disapparate, I see a look of real terror on Bellatrix's face, and I feel like I've just been dunked into ice-cold water. What was that spell?

What has she done to Draco?

I levitate Draco onto his bed and quickly start searching for any marks on him. But his chest looks fine where he was struck by the spell. I try a Reviving Spell on him, and his eyelids flutter.

"Draco? Draco, can you hear me?"

"Yeah," he mutters.

"Do you know what spell your aunt used on you?" I ask.

He opens his mouth to speak but starts coughing instead, and I cast a spell to clear his airway. He turns his head away from me and spits some blood out of his mouth, then turns to face me, his eyes cracked open just a little. He starts lifting a hand, and I take it in both of mine.

"Let go," he says, opening his eyes more fully.

I immediately let go, realizing that he means to do something. Can't he just tell me what he needs?

Then he makes a beckoning motion with his middle and forefinger. For a moment, nothing happens, and I start to doubt that he's powerful enough to do anything. Then five bottles come flying into the room.

"Is there a sequence?" I ask him.

"No. Any order will work," he replies.

"How much of each?"

"Just one swallow."

I prop him up, shifting behind him to support his weight, and he chuckles weakly.

"What's so funny?" I ask him.

"Déjà vu," he replies.

He has another coughing fit, and I wrap my arms tightly around him, trying to hold him still.

"You'll be okay," I say softly.

A figure appears in the doorway, and I look up to see Blaise.

"What happened?" he asks.

"Ambush," I say, reaching around Draco's shoulders and unscrewing the lid of the first bottle.

"Here, let me," Blaise offers.

He moves toward me, but Draco lifts a hand to stop him.

"I'll need a Dreamless Sleep Potion. The cure is going to make me delirious," Draco says.

"Don't you have it in stock?" I ask, lifting the first bottle to his lips.

He opens his mouth, and I pour a little bit of the clear liquid inside. As I screw the cap back on the bottle, Draco shakes his head.

"Go, then," I tell Blaise.

Blaise frowns. "Delirious?"

"Blaise, just go. Hurry," I say.

He nods and exits the room without protest, and I hear him moving toward the kitchen. Placing the first bottle on the nightstand, I pick up a second one and proceed to give Draco a dose of that one.

After finishing with the last potion, I put its container down and slowly shift out from behind Draco, lowering his torso to the mattress and gently putting his head back down on his pillow.

"You'll be okay," I repeat.

He smiles at me. "Delirium will hit in a few minutes or so… but I feel much better already."

"What did that spell do to you?"

"My aunt took Dolohov's signature curse and made a few modifications. She intensified the extent of internal injuries caused by the curse, but added a bit that would allow the victim to become conscious while injured. So that they can be more aware of the pain."

"Right. Dolohov's victims don't wake up until they're on the recovery," I say, reaching over to take his hand. "I'm sorry."

A small frown appears on his face. "Sorry? For what?"

"For leading you into that trap."

A smile replaces the frown. "Hermione, I knew it was a trap as soon as I heard from you. That didn't stop me from coming. Nothing could have stopped me."

My heart swells at his words. I've already known for some time that he would do anything for me, but hearing him say it aloud somehow makes it that much more real.

Then his eyes become slightly unfocused, and I bite my lip.

Is the delirium setting in, then?

I squeeze his hand tightly. "Draco, stay with me," I murmur.

His eyes focus on me with some difficulty. "Hermione? Please don't leave me."

"I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere," I reassure him.

It stings a bit that the first thing he asks is that I don't leave. Does he really think that I would leave him in this state? But then I remind myself that his mind is becoming unstable. Dreamless Sleep Potions don't take too long to make—Blaise should be coming back in very soon.

"Hermione," Draco says in an urgent voice.

I look away from the doorway to see that his eyes, slightly wild, are fixed on me.

"Where… where am I? Where are we?"

"We're at your house," I tell him. "We're safe. No one can get to us here."

"No—no, we can't be. I see chains. There are cages and chains—this is not my house."

"Draco, calm down."

He shakes his head and starts to sit up. I quickly lean over and press his shoulders down. Dolohov's curse causes severe internal bleeding—if Bellatrix's curse is similar, then surely it has the same effect. I can't risk Draco ripping open any wounds that the potions he took may have temporarily fixed.

"We have to go," Draco says urgently. "We have to—we have to get out of here."

"Shh," I say. "Calm down."

He shakes his head again, but I keep a firm grip on his shoulders.

"Blaise, what's taking so long?" I call.

"Coming, coming!"

A moment later, Blaise enters the room with a goblet of purple liquid. The hue is darker than I'm used to, but potions can vary slightly depending on the brewer, and I don't question it.

I get up and take the goblet from Blaise, letting him switch positions with me. He very carefully pulls Draco into a sitting position. Draco protests all the while, saying something about a silver blade and dark red leaves.

We manage to get him to drink the potion, and Blaise gets up to let me sit back down in the chair beside Draco's bed. He's still looking up at the ceiling, but his eyes look much more focused than before, and his breathing has calmed considerably.

"Draco?" I say tentatively.

He turns his face toward me, and I'm surprised by the raw fear in his eyes.

"I'm fucking scared, Hermione," he says. "I'm terrified."

"I'm here, Draco. Don't be scared. Go to sleep, all right?"

His hand gets a hold of mine and grasps it tightly. "You don't understand. I'm terrified," he says.

Isn't the Dreamless Sleep Potion supposed to help him rest? He still seems so awake.

But sometimes potions need a little while to take effect, and knowing Bellatrix, she may have intentionally modified the curse so that the only cure required the victim to become delirious. If that were her intention, she could easily have worked out a way to delay recovery by dulling the effectiveness of potions such as the Dreamless Sleep Potion.

"Why are you scared?" I ask Draco.

Maybe if I keep him talking, he'll stay a bit calmer. I know that talking things out tends to make me feel better, so hopefully it'll do the same for him.

"That girl. She keeps… she keeps coming back."

I frown. "Who?"

"I can't get away from her. There's no escape. No way out."

His eyes are slightly unfocused again, and even though his gaze is pointed toward me, it seems as though he sees right through me.

"Draco, what are you talking about?" I ask. I twist slightly to glance back at Blaise. "Do you know what he's—"

Blaise shakes his head. "Not a clue."

"Draco, who—"

"Do you know what Voldemort said—what he said about me?" Draco interrupts.

I'm almost afraid to ask. "What did he say?"

"He said… said that only a truly Dark wizard can make a Dark Mark as good as mine. Hermione, doesn't that mean—if the Dark Lord himself—I can't—"

"Shh, shh, calm down," I say, swallowing hard.

How long has he been carrying this around? To hear something like that from the Darkest wizard that our world has ever known… it must have been scarring.

"I should die," he says, his unseeing eyes still fixed in my direction. "I… before I go Dark side…"

"Draco, stop it," I say. "Blaise, why isn't he unconscious yet?"

"I might have accidentally tweaked the ingredients a bit," Blaise replies.

I turn to glare at him. "Accidentally?"

"All right, so I did it on purpose. This is the only way you're going to get any form of the truth out of him, Hermione. So why don't you ask him what you want to know so badly? I'm dying to know what the hell happened in Russia, too."

"This is wrong, Blaise. He needs to recover."

"We're never going to be able to help him if we don't know what's wrong with him," Blaise says.

Draco starts muttering something under his breath, and I look down at him.

"Draco?" I say.

"She's here—she's still here—still laughing. She's here."

"No one else is here, Draco. It's just you, me, and Blaise."

"Blaise," Draco says, eyes widening slightly as he latches onto the name. "Blaise, mate. I'm so sorry. I wish I could take it all back. All of it."

"You and me both, mate," Blaise replies.

"I can't sleep at night, Hermione. She won't let me sleep."

I rub my forehead with my free hand, and my eyes well up at the blank look in his eyes.

"Who is she?" I ask.

"She's always here. Waiting for me to let down my guard. Waiting so she can laugh at me."

"Are you scared that you might be a Dark wizard at heart, Draco? Is that what it is?" I ask.

"I am," Draco replies. "If Voldemort himself said it, then I must be."

"No—Draco, you're not," I say.

"You don't know who I am. You don't know what I've done."

"Then tell me," I say softly.

He shakes his head. "I can't… can't tell you. You'll never… never understand."

"Don't you trust me?" I ask, trying to keep my voice steady.

I blink once, and some tears fall. One of them splashes on his forearm, and he jerks. Suddenly his eyes fix on me, and it's as though he really does see me again.

"Are you crying?" he asks.

I sniff and shake my head, trying to blink away the tears. "No. I'm not."

He looks hurt. "You're lying. I'm injured, not blind."

"He shouldn't sound so conscious right now," Blaise says from behind me. I can tell from his tone of voice that he's frowning. "Maybe I did screw something up."

"Could you make another batch, then?" I ask.

"Yeah. Sorry, Hermione. I thought I fixed it so he'd only be conscious for an extra minute or so."

"It's all right, Blaise. Just… don't mess with it this time."

Blaise exits the room, and Draco looks at me seriously.

"Don't cry, Hermione," he says quietly.

"I won't," I reassure him. I reach out with my free hand and run my fingers through his hair. "Draco, try to sleep."

"You don't understand. I don't want to. She's there. She won't let me."

"No one can hurt you, Draco. I'm right here. No one can get to you."

"You're missing the point."

"All right, then. What's the point?"

"I don't want to hurt people anymore. I'm not the one who needs protecting. I'm the one that people need to be protected from."

"No, don't say that."

"It's the truth."

I sigh. "What happened out there, Draco?"

He shakes his head, and a shiver passes through him.

"Draco, please don't keep it from me."

"It's cold," he says.

I kick off my shoes and remove my robe, under which I'm wearing a shirt and jeans. Then I crawl under the covers beside him.

"What are you doing?"

I tentatively scoot up against him and put an arm over his chest. "I'm going to keep you warm," I reply.

His body really does feel cold—the coldness from his chest seems to see into my arm, and I wonder if this is part of the after-effects of Blaise's modified concoction or the spell that Bellatrix used.

"Tell me what's wrong, Draco," I coax gently.

He slowly turns onto his side and pulls me closer to him, arms wrapping possessively around me.

"I've killed a lot of people," he murmurs.

"I knew that already."

"You don't understand."

"Then help me understand."

"It's not your burden to bear."

Instead of continuing to press him, I fall silent, waiting for him to relent. Or for Blaise to get here with the potion… whichever comes first. But if I really have a chance to hear what's bothering him, I'm going to take it. I feel so guilty taking advantage of his state, but it's just so hard to see another way.

Finally, he speaks.

"I felt no remorse."

I bite the question that threatens to come out of my mouth, feeling that keeping silent is best, for now.

"When I looked into her face and saw how she was suffering, when I heard her cries for mercy, I felt no guilt. No anger. No shame. Nothing."

I tighten my arms around him, hoping to offer him some modicum of comfort as I process what he said. He didn't… feel remorse? For torturing someone? It's hard for me to imagine. I've read that some people can become numb to things if they've seen too much of it, like soldiers who have gone to war. Could that be what Draco is going through?

No, I shouldn't be thinking about this right now. He needs to be comforted, reassured that that isn't the truth. He may not be the most compassionate person on the planet, but he is not a monster—of that I'm sure.

"Draco, that wasn't you. You aren't a Dark wizard—don't you think I would know if you were?"

"I was like a machine, Hermione," he continues. "I didn't feel anything. Even now, I can choose not to feel anything. Do you know how easy it would be for me to lose my feelings for you? To just… turn them off?"

I swallow hard as I consider the possibility. "Draco, you wouldn't. Would you?"

"She's always here. Fuck, she's still here. No one else knew what was going to happen, but she had it all figured out."

At least I finally understand who this "she" is—she must have been someone that Draco was forced to torture and kill. And she must have become the representative of everything that happened to him—of everyone he was forced to hurt—in Russia.

Meanwhile, Draco continues to speak. "And she laughed at me, at what my fate would be. I don't want to see her anymore, Hermione. I don't—"

"Shh… stop, Draco. Please stop."

He's quiet for a moment, and we both lie there, unmoving.

"It'd be so easy to just… choose not to feel anymore, Hermione," he says softly. "It'd be so easy to just let go."

I think I finally know what he's trying to say.

"But you'd lose me in the process," I say.

His arms tighten around me, and he's trembling. I must be right. I feel like a layer of ice has just formed around my heart, and no matter how warm I am under these covers, I won't be able to melt it.

I am the reason why he chooses to carry around the trauma left over from whatever hell he experienced in Russia. I am the reason why he doesn't numb himself, even if it would help him feel better. So if he's going to recover, he's going to have to let go of me. Is that why he didn't want to tell me?

"I can't lose you," he whispers. "I can't do it."

I close my eyes and press my forehead into his neck. I feel like crying, but my eyes are dry.

"It's going to be okay, Draco. Everything's going to be okay."

If you can't do it, then I'll do it for you.

Author's Note: Well… I said I'd say it, so… UNO!

PS- Don't kill me… I'll put the next (last! sob…) chapter up soon. And yes, I know there's a lot left to resolve. Endings are rather difficult for me. Quoting Chuck Shurley, endings are "a raging pain in the ass." So I'm going to do what I can.