Snow Storm part 2

The sky was getting lighter, and the wood in the fireplace was almost gone. Jane opened her eyes, and saw that Johnny was already awake and looking at her. "Have you been awake long?"

He tilted his head slightly. "A little while. Just enjoyin' the view."

She smiled. "I don't want to get up."

"Then don't. We can stay here as long as you like." She propped herself up a bit on her elbows. "You look like you're thinkin', Jane."

She nodded. "But I think I'll wait to tell you until after we've gotten ready for the day and had something to eat."

"I don't know if I like the sound of that," he said, scratching his neck.

"It's not serious. Just something I think I should talk to you about, and now seems like a good time."

He stretched. "Well, guess we'd better start the day, then."

After they climbed out of the tent, Johnny took off the blankets from a window and the door. He started to laugh and shake his head. "I don't believe it!" The snow was up against the door to his chest, and the window was covered to about six inches from the top. He hit his forehead with the flat of his hand and grimaced. "Ohhh, the shovelling!" He paused. "And I gotta find the stupid shovels first!" he growled.

Jane turned around from putting fresh logs on the fire. She placed the kettle on the metal plate in front where it would heat, and stood up. She came over to where he was standing, and put her arms around his waist. "I'm an expert shoveller, you know."

He looked at her with some surprise. "I didn't know that."

"Been here many times before, remember?"

"Right. Ever been like this before?"

"Not this bad, but we've had some pretty dramatic snow falls." She peered out the door. "Still, I think this must be a record!"

"I hope so!"

Johnny made them scrambled eggs in a frying pan after manoeuvring some of the wood in the fireplace. Jane commented, "I don't know what it is, but these are about the best eggs I've ever tasted! What did you do?"

He grinned at her and touched his nose with his finger. "Secret, passed down through generations."

"You didn't do anything, did you?"

"Nope. Just regular eggs. Must be the company."

She giggled and cleaned her plate. "Must be..."

When they were ready, all bundled up for the outside, Johnny pulled open the door, and shook his head incredulously at the wall of snow that greeted them. "I don't believe it, even though I see it."

"Oh, how I wish I had a camera!" exclaimed Jane, "This is amazing!" Johnny asked for the frying pan, so he could start throwing the snow away from the top and get to the shovels located somewhere on the porch. He knew where they should be; it was just a question of digging them out. Jane grabbed an ancient baking sheet for cookies and started pushing the snow away from the doorway like Johnny was doing.

He stopped her after a minute. "Whoa there, Jane. We're just going to let all the cold air into the cabin if we do it like this. C'mon, let's close the door." Sure enough, the short time they had had the door open already made a difference in the temperature inside the cabin. "Hows 'bout we nail some blankets around the door from the ceiling, like another tent. That way we can get in and out and still get snow away from the door." Jane nodded, and soon they had a 'vestibule' area set up. "There's only room for one, honey. I'll go for now."

Jane put her hand on his cheek. "Love you, you know." He smiled and shooed her out of the new tent. He called out when he found the shovels and put the second one inside the cabin.

After about an hour, he gave a whoop of success. "I found the porch!" he called.

Jane peeked her head in the makeshift tent entrance. "Look at that! Who'd have thought it would be such a great sight!"

Johnny grinned. "Yeah!"

"Do you want to take a break? After all, that snow is not going away without your help."

He sighed. "Yeah, you're right. Okay, I'll come in, but I'm not cold, that's for sure." He stretched his stiff muscles and only protested mildly when Jane disappeared into the tent to continue the shovelling. After 10 minutes rest he came out to join her. She was already flushed and tendrils of red hair curled like a halo around her face. He grabbed the other shovel, and started in again on the mountain of snow.

After another hour, the steps down from the porch were cleared as well as an area about the same size at the bottom, but the snow banks were almost as high as the low end roof of the cabin. They stood at the bottom of the steps and looked up. The sky was bright blue, and there was no wind at all in their little clearing. "Using my great tracking ability, I feel the Land Rover is through there." He poked his arm straight into the bank beside him, leaving a long hole at shoulder height. "Should only take about a week to find it." They both smiled, but then sighed. He hugged Jane close to him. "Ah, Jane. Not the getaway I imagined." He kissed her forehead. "Back to it?"

She shook her head. "Let's go inside, get something to eat, and listen to the news, so we can find out what's going on in the world."

The little radio didn't have the greatest reception, but they were able to hear the weather report; no surprise, their area had been hit with a record snow fall, and the only way to get around was by snowmobile, skis or snowshoes. All the roads were closed. Fortunately, the forecast said that the storm was over. Now the monumental task of clearing up was starting. Jane lay down on her belly on the mattress in the tent, and looked pensively at the fire. Johnny sat cross-legged beside her. "Hey, sweetheart, what's up?"

She shrugged. "Just thinking about something."

"That thing you wanted to talk about?" She nodded, but didn't say anything. "Okay, well, you know where I am when you want to tell me."

She touched his arm gently. "I know." She smiled and changed the subject. "Too bad we don't have some marshmallows and chocolate – we could have made S'mores!" She pointed to the fireplace.

"You know what we used to make over fires at Powwows when I was a kid? Ever hear of bannock on a stick?"

'Nope, but if you tell me the ingredients, maybe we can try it." She jumped up, and together they started opening cupboards. The 'kitchen' was stocked with essentials, and they found some flour, baking powder and oil. Soon Johnny was showing Jane how to mix the ingredients with her fingers while adding water until they were all the right consistency for the dough. He then took a palm-sized piece and wrapped it around a stick they had for poking the fire. When it was a nice golden brown all over, he took it out of the fire and offered it to Jane. She peeled off a piece and blew on it before putting it in her mouth. "This is delicious! And so easy!" Johnny stuffed the rest of the bannock into his mouth and grinned at her. He wrapped more dough around the stick and put it back into the fire.

While it was cooking Jane said, "Speaking of Powwows…"

He looked at her quizzically. "Okay…."

"Well, it's just kind of related to what I wanted to talk to you about."

"Huh…well you sure got my interest now."

"Remember when we went to the reservation to say hi after the wedding? We stayed at your aunt's place?"

"Yeah…" She looked a little nervous. He continued, "Did something happen? I don't remember anything."

"Probably because it's your home. Let's just say, I was never so aware of being different before, even when I lived in France."

"What are you talking about?"

"That supper your aunt threw for us in her backyard – and half the town came – well…"

"Jane, just tell me, please." She didn't want to look him in the face, so she kept her head low, and tore tiny pieces of bannock from the stick, rolling them in her fingers. "Jane," he said with more authority, "I want you to tell me what happened at that supper."

She looked up at him tentatively. "There were some people there who were not very happy that you married a white woman."

"What?"

She nodded. "Some of the women refused to shake my hand while we were being introduced, and a couple of men wouldn't even look at me; it was as if I was, I don't know…" She looked at his face and could see the confusion on it, as he was trying to make sense what she was telling him. "Johnny, I just felt you should know. I was not welcome there. I'm just too 'pale face.' I don't think they would ever say anything to you…"

He nodded his head slowly. "You know, ever since I started working for the fire department in LA there have been some…not hard feelings, but just a…I don't know what you'd call it...it's like I sold out or something, by going to the city…I guess I didn't realize how deep it goes for some of them when someone marries outside."

Jane looked worried. "It's part of who you are. I don't want to be the reason for you not to be welcome in your home. I just don't know what I can do about it. I can't change my skin…"

Johnny gathered her into his arms. "I don't want you to. I like your freckles; they're cute." She scrunched her nose at him. "Jane, ours isn't the first mixed marriage that's ever gone through there, especially in my family. It won't be the last either." He sat down in the armchair, and pulled her onto his lap. "You know, I honestly never considered it to be an issue when dating someone – what color they were or what religion or whatever. It's never entered my head to even think like that."

"That's something that I love about you – there's not a prejudiced bone in your body."

"My parents weren't like that. Too bad I can't say that for the rest of my relatives."

"Not everyone, Johnny – it was only a few people. Your aunt obviously loves you, and you can do no wrong in her eyes."

"Wasn't always like that," he grinned.

"Oh, I'm sure you gave them all plenty of heart attacks growing up."

"Well, I didn't really like school, or it didn't like me – I just wanted to be outside, doing things…"

Jane grinned back at him. "I can see it. What I can't see, is you in a classroom."

"Nope. Neither did most of my teachers."

She gave a laugh, but then became serious. "About the visit…"

"Don't worry, Jane. Don't let it bother you how they acted – no matter where you go you're going to find people like that. Just be yourself." He kissed her again.

"Thanks, Johnny. I feel better for telling you. And I wouldn't give you up even if the whole reservation came against me. I don't think I could."

He helped her stand up and got up himself. "You won't have to. I know what I want, and I have it all right here."

She smiled up into his face. "In a snowed-in cabin without electricity?"

"Yep." He was silent for a moment, and then asked, "Why are you bringing this up now? It's been quite awhile since that trip." They sat down again beside each other, this time on the mattress in front of the fire.

"We didn't really have time, did we? I mean, right after our honeymoon we started back to work, and then we found out I was pregnant…" her voice trailed off.

Johnny sighed and looked into the fire. Jane felt like the ghost of their little boy was in the room with them. She knew exactly how old he would be…she always did. It was like he was still nearby, but in some shadowy realm, growing up in real time. Sometimes she almost felt that if only she knew the key, she could unlock the door that separated them and he would be waiting for her.

Johnny looked over at her, just as she blinked back a tear. "Jane…"

"I'm okay, really, Johnny. I just miss him so much, you know? Isn't it strange how you can miss someone so intensely that you never really knew? But I did know him – I was the only one who did. We spent every minute of every day together…" her voice cracked a little with emotion. John rubbed her back while she looked through the dancing flames, remembering and imagining. She decided to share her thoughts with Johnny. "It's like I can almost see him, you know? He's right there…" She sighed deeply. "Sometimes I dream that I'm holding him, and he smiles at me…"

"I know," he replied.

"Do you really?" she asked in wonder.

"Yeah. I see him too, in my mind. Sometimes I dream about him. But not often."

Jane echoed his last words, "Not often…You know what else, Johnny?" she continued, "I'm terrified of having another child, even though I want one so much. I can't bear the thought of losing someone else, and yet, if I don't try, if I can't hold our baby…" The pain inside her welled up and over, and she grabbed her knees and held on to them as tight as she could. Johnny had no words to comfort her, because her pain was his as well, so they just sat together without speaking. After a few minutes, Jane recovered enough to smile at him tremulously. "So, back to the snow?"

His smile was gentle and accepting. "I was just waiting for you to ask."