August 29th, 2017
She was frantically pacing. This single moment could make or break her career. As she stood backstage waiting for her cue, she took in a deep calming breath. Now was not the time to freak out, she could do that later. Now was the time to focus and get the job done.
She stood there, prop in hand taking deep breaths to calm her nerves as Juliette said her familiar cue, the familiar door opened and Elphaba ran out on stage, the familiar spotlight hit her, the familiar sounds of the crowd sounded before her, yet nothing about this moment was familiar.
When Juliette said her cue the door opened for an Elphaba being played by an unknown understudy, the spotlight hit the girl who usually played a Munchkin, the crowd was clapping for a girl no one knew – the crowd was cheering for Rachel Barbra Berry.
Rachel was entirely too sweaty when she woke up that hot and sticky Tuesday morning in August. The past three days had been the worst for heat and humidity that Manhattan had seen in years and of course their window air conditioner in their bedroom had died the night before. For some reason Rachel had terrible luck with air conditioning units.
Her only saving grace was that she had to be to rehearsal early that day to work with some new chorus members that had just recently been hired and the rehearsal space was always cold. She herself was a chorus member and since she was so short was perfect to play a Munchkin. It wasn't one of her dream roles but it was a jumping off point. Once Rachel had performed the daunting task of getting into Actors' Equity she started auditioning for every role she could. The goal was to snag a leading lady part or even a supporting actress gig but Rachel was finding it difficult to get work. Every time she'd audition for someone they would tell her she was too short, not pretty enough, couldn't carry a show on her tiny shoulders, her boobs were too small, she was too Jewish – which Rachel thought ironic considering much of Broadway was run by Jews – or if the casting guy were a real pig told her she could get a part if she played with his 'part'. Rachel nearly smacked that man across the face but thought better of it. If word got out that she hit a casting director, even a jerk of one, chances of getting any work would spiral downward significantly, so instead she politely declined and made sure to never go for a production he was casting again.
All of the negative feedback was really taking a toll on Rachel's self-esteem and her conviction. The only thing that kept her from even thinking about giving up was Finn's unwavering support and remembering what Patti LuPone had said to her at Sardi's. She could never give up. Eventually someone would see Rachel for her talent and cast her based on that and not just what she looked like. And then came Wicked.
She had heard through Equity that Wicked was in need of some new chorus members as many of them were moving on to other things when their contracts were up. It wasn't ideal but it was one of her favorite shows and she had a good shot considering her size. Rachel could easily see herself back on the stage at the Gershwin as a Munchkin. So Rachel auditioned and the director, Jimmy Hanz, was completely enamored of her voice. He told her if he could, he'd hire her as his Elphaba but the current actress had just renewed her contract for another six months as did her standby. He was able to offer her a part in the chorus and as the understudy to Elphaba. As Rachel had zero other offers, she took the job immediately and had been a part of the cast for about four months.
Though she knew the musical backwards and forwards and could recite the part of Elphaba, and sing all the songs, in her sleep, she never got to see the spotlight. Madeline Richter, the latest Elphaba was a notorious workaholic and never missed a show. There were only two shows a week out of eight she didn't perform in and for those shows, Kaitlin Green her standby, would perform. In the four months she had been in the show, Rachel only ever got to sing with the chorus, until that fateful Tuesday when everything changed.
Once Rachel was awake, showered and dressed, she said goodbye to Finn who was lounging in his underwear on the couch watching some movie and headed in to work. She had expected the day to go very similarly to every other she worked and it had until about two hours before show time.
A blood curdling scream could be heard coming from Madeline's dressing room and everyone in the vicinity rushed to her door. One of the costumers opened the door and nearly fainted at the sight. Inside the dressing room Madeline was lying on the floor crying with what appeared to be a severely broken leg. No one was entirely sure how she managed to break her leg in her dressing room but she had and was immediately escorted to the hospital. This meant that Kaitlin would have to go on for her, except Kaitlin had called in sick from food poisoning.
Rachel sat at her make-up station getting her hair done when Jimmy came over to her. "Rachel, how are you today?" he asked nonchalantly.
"I'm good. Ready to put on another show," she said in a chipper voice. Though it was a small part, she still loved the feel of being on stage and performing.
"Great, that's good to hear because you, my love, are going to be playing Elphaba tonight," he said, not beating around the bush.
Rachel laughed as if he had just told her a funny joke. Her tone became more serious. "Jimmy, stop pulling my leg. I need it to stand on."
Jimmy looked at her severely. "Rachel, I'm one hundred percent serious. Madeline just somehow broke her leg and Kaitlin is out with food poisoning. You're the understudy for the part. It's your time now. You will be performing the part of Elphaba tonight."
She stared at him, mouth agape and completely wordless. Rachel couldn't think straight; the director of Wicked was telling her that she would be performing the part of Elphaba for the first time ever. Her brain had stopped functioning until Jimmy snapped his fingers in her face. Her mind lurched back to reality and she leaped off her chair and tackled Jimmy in a giant hug.
"Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you," Rachel wailed over and over. She released her stunned director and jumped up and down pumping her fists in the air.
Jimmy sighed exasperatedly but at the same time felt just as happy for her. He had always thought Rachel would make a spectacular Elphaba and now she was getting a chance to prove it. "I hate to cut your celebratory dance party short but you really need to undo this," he waved his hands around her nearly finished usual hairdo, "and get into Elphaba hair and make-up. I'll send Rodrigo over immediately." Jimmy congratulated Rachel one last time then went off to find the lead make-up artist who always turned Madeline into Elphaba.
Collecting herself, Rachel sat back down in her chair and starting helping Elise undo her 'do. "Congratulations Rachel! It only took a broken leg and food poisoning but you're finally getting the lead you've been craving!" Elise said as she pulled bobby pins out of Rachel's hair.
"I know, I feel kind of bad but it's not like either of those things are my fault. I'm just going to enjoy this while I can. This could lead to bigger and better things for me if I do well tonight! Maybe I can finally get out of the chorus." Rachel beamed into her mirror. She really did feel bad for Madeline and Kaitlin. They were both terrific actresses even if Madeline was a bit of a diva, and that was Rachel Berry saying that, and neither deserved to be in pain, but at the same time she was happy that their misfortune had led to something great for her. "Oh my gosh! I need to call Finn! He has to be here!" Rachel pulled her cell phone out of her bag and hit two on her speed dial. The phone rang and Finn picked up on the fourth ring.
"Hey Rach, what's going on? Why are you calling me less than two hours before show time? Is something wrong? Did you really break a leg?" he asked, panic growing in his voice with each question. Rachel never called Finn before a show as she was usually too busy getting ready and it disrupted her pre-show thoughts so she wasn't surprised Finn was a bit curious.
"Everything is fine Finn. I'm just calling because I need you to come to the show tonight. You have to be here. There'll be a ticket waiting for you at will call," Rachel said calmly into the phone using all her acting skills to keep from exploding and telling Finn about her stroke of luck. She wanted him to be surprised when she walked out on stage in all her green glory.
Finn breathed out in relief but then sounded less than enthused. "Don't get me wrong Rach, I love your show and you're always great in it, but do I really have to go tonight?"
Rachel's face fell. "Why don't you want to come tonight?"
"It's just, I've seen your show like twelve times already and I just set up the new air conditioner I bought today and it's so hot out and I'm not showered and…" Finn kept listing off excuses not to show up to Rachel's show. She understood where he was coming from, he really had seen the show more times than truly necessary but she never asked him to come and the one time she did, he was now turning her down. This made her sort of angry and before Finn could list off any more reasons and deny her the one thing she was asking of him, she cut him off.
"Finn Hudson, you will be in the audience at seven pm when the curtain goes up or else you will be sleeping with your feet hanging over the edge of the couch for the next month! All I'm asking is for you to show up just one more time for me then if you never want to see Wicked again, you don't have to. Just get your ass to the Gershwin by show time!" Rachel growled lowly into the phone through gritted teeth before hanging up on her boyfriend.
Rachel sat back in her chair as Rodrigo showed up. She really wished Kurt could come but as he was in Los Angeles working currently, it would be impossible. She would have to fill him in later. Rachel then made two more quick phone calls to make sure Anjali could attend the show that night and then called the box office to get two tickets for Anjali and Finn. A little less than two hours later Rachel stood in front of a full length mirror taking in her green appearance before heading into the wings of the stage. She looked positively wicked.
Finn found Anjali sitting in the seat next to his in the front mezzanine just moments before the show was due to start. He had missed the train that would have gotten him to the theatre with enough time to use the bathroom and grab a snack before curtain up so he decided to take a cab instead but there was a huge accident along Fifth which stopped traffic dead. Finn ended up having to run about a mile in the wet heat to make it to the theatre on time.
"Could you have cut it any closer Finn?" Anjali hissed at him as the orchestra began playing. Finn plopped in his seat breathless.
"Missed train…traffic…run…" he panted out quietly. He had been in such a rush he hadn't even had time to grab a Playbill, which contained announcements about any changes in casting, and Anjali didn't have one either. Not that he really needed it as he basically knew everyone in the cast and knew the show just as well as Rachel did.
They both went silent as Juliette came out on stage strapped to her bubble. Finn couldn't stand Juliette. She constantly flirted with him and couldn't get it through her big blonde head that he was taken and wasn't interested.
Having seen the show so many times, Finn kind of drifted in and out until Anjali leaned over and whispered into his ear, "Where's Rachel? I don't see her."
For the first time Finn noticed his girlfriend wasn't on stage. She was always in the opening scene. "I don't know." He shrugged, really having no idea where she was. Finn watched more intently now trying to figure out why Rachel wasn't there with the rest of the Munchkins.
No One Mourns the Wicked ended and Glinda went into her explanation of how she knew Elphaba before she became the Wicked Witch of the West. Then Finn and Anjali's eyes nearly popped out of their heads when Elphaba ran out on stage. At first he couldn't believe what he was seeing, there was no way that the tiny green girl on stage was his girlfriend. It had to be the green make-up playing tricks on his eyes. Yeah, that had to be it…but then she started singing. It was Rachel.
Anjali and Finn looked at each other in amazement. Neither could comprehend that Rachel was finally performing in a musical as a leading lady and not just any musical but one of the most well known and best musicals ever. She was embodying one of the greatest characters of all time. They both turned their attention back to the show and watched, enraptured by Rachel.
When she ran out on stage to the thundering applause, Rachel stood in the spotlight savoring the moment for as long as she could before launching into Elphaba. Though she hadn't performed the part in front of an audience before, she felt completely at ease as she fell into the role and let it take over. It felt like it had when she sang on that stage for the first time with Kurt only a thousand times better because people were watching her play this character that millions loved.
As the show progressed, Finn found he was drawn in more than he ever had been before. Watching Rachel perform all the songs he always heard her singing throughout their apartment in the actual show was mesmerizing. She nailed every single note and when it got to Defying Gravity, a lump formed in his throat.
The lights came on for intermission and he looked over at Anjali. She wiped her eye. "Are you crying?" he asked her quaintly. Sure, Rachel's performance thus far had been amazing and hit him like it never had before, but he was very far from crying.
"Shut up," Anjali said pulling a tissue from her purse. "I just love that scene and watching Rachel perform it was amazing. There's no way they can send her back to the chorus after this. I've seen Madeline and Kaitlin play Elphaba multiple times and neither of them brought out a reaction in the audience the way Rachel did. She got a standing ovation in the middle of the show!" Anjali looked at Finn in awe.
Finn nodded in agreement. "She's probably backstage going nuts right now."
Backstage, Rachel was going nuts. It was almost euphoric belting out that last note of Defying Gravity then being told she had received a standing ovation for it once she got offstage. Needless to say, Rachel was on cloud nine. Not wanting to get a big head, she continued to calm herself down and act as if she still had something to prove, which she did as there was still a second act to perform.
Rachel was pacing back and forth taking deep breaths when Jimmy came over to her. "Rachel! Amazing job! I always knew you'd be perfect for this part. Tomorrow we need to talk. It'll be a while before Madeline gets back so she's going to need a replacement; seems like we might have found one in you." He shucked her arm and continued walking toward some chorus members who were having some mic problems. She didn't breath for nearly a full minute.
The rest of the show went by in a blur. Rachel fell right back into character and wowed yet again with As Long As You're Mine and For Good. When it came time for the curtain call, as she walked out hand in hand with Juliette, she couldn't believe the response. She had never seen the crowd so excited. Usually there was a standing ovation for Madeline and Kaitlin but it never seemed as loud as it did that night. Maybe Rachel was making it up in her head but she could swear it was because of her.
Up in the front mezzanine, Finn and Anjali were cheering and clapping as loudly as they could. "That's my girlfriend!" Finn yelled out over and over proudly. He looked around at the people near him. "Elphaba is my girlfriend," he told them all, pointing at her. The dude next to him gave him a doubtful nod and continued to clap while the older woman behind him told him he was lucky man. She had no idea.
Finn and Anjali waited for the crowd to clear out a little before heading down to the pit as they knew it would be a while before Rachel was ready to go home. She had a lot of make-up to remove and there would most likely be throngs of people waiting for her outside. Rachel had performed beautifully; there was no way there wouldn't be a crowd.
Once it was cleared Finn walked down to the orchestra and called out to Nick. He had managed to snag a spot in the pit orchestra as a trumpeter a few months before Rachel started in the show and Finn always said hello whenever he saw it.
"Hey Hudson, Jeeri, I didn't know you'd be here tonight," Nick said looking up at Finn and Anjali. "I wasn't expecting Rachel to be starring tonight either though."
"You realize I'm married, right Nick?" Anjali said for the thousandth time. It didn't matter that Nick had been at her wedding, he still always called her Jeeri whenever he saw her.
"I know Jeeri. Hey, you two wanna go out for drinks? I figured we should celebrate Rachel's pleasure at Madeline and Kaitlin's pain," Nick said with a roguish smirk. He didn't really care for Madeline or Kaitlin and thought it was awesome they were both gone for now.
Finn looked thoughtful. "Maybe, if Rachel wants to. She might be tired."
"I doubt it. When I saw her backstage during intermission she was practically bouncing off the walls." Nick finished packing up his area and looked back up at Finn. "Hop up on stage, I'll meet you up there and we'll go find her."
Ten minutes later the four of them were in Rachel's dressing room as she recounted practically every moment of the show like none of them had actually been there. "It was the best moment of my life! Finally all my hard work and effort has paid off and I'm getting some recognition. Jimmy even said I might be able to replace Madeline! This could really get me noticed in this town so I can finally go on to win my Tony!"
Finn was so ecstatic for his girlfriend. The only other time he had seen her even remotely this excited was after her very first show. This moment definitely beat that one though. Everything she wanted seemed to be within her grasp now. He had always believed in her, even when she didn't believe in herself, but now she could see that believing in herself the way she did was helping her reap all the rewards. It didn't matter what anyone else said, as long as Rachel had faith in herself, she could go the distance and achieve her dreams.
Once Rachel calmed down a bit and started taking her green off, Nick mentioned drinks to celebrate and Rachel agreed wholeheartedly. She wanted to commemorate the night as it would always be one of her most cherished memories. Anjali and Nick stepped out of her dressing room to call Puck, Taylor, and anyone else they could think of who would want to celebrate with them.
Rachel smiled at Finn in the mirror as he came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her shoulders and kissed her cheek. "You were amazing Rachel, more than amazing. I can't even think of a big enough word to describe the level of awesome you were at tonight."
"Thank you Finn," Rachel turned her head to kiss him on the mouth. "So are you glad I threatened you to leave our air conditioned room to come see my show?"
"Very." Finn kissed her again then let her finish cleaning off her make-up. He looked in the mirror and noticed he had green on his lips. Before Nick could give him crap about it, Finn swiped a make-up remover wipe and cleaned them off.
After what seemed like an eternity later, Rachel was finally clean and ready to leave. Like Finn thought there would be, there was a crowd still waiting outside for Rachel. They had to practically beat some of the people off with a stick but Rachel loved every second of it. It wasn't just the attention and admiration that was making Rachel giddy; it was the knowledge that she had brought these people joy. They had actually appreciated her performance. Multiple fans – she actually had fans now! – had told her she was one of the best Elphaba's they had ever seen and that she even rivaled Idina Menzel. Rachel wasn't quite sure about that yet, but she appreciated the compliment all the same. Idina was pretty hard to beat in any role she performed.
Rachel signed dozens of autographs and took so many pictures with various people that her hand was beginning to cramp and she was seeing flashbulbs when there were none. About a half hour after exiting the theatre, Finn finally pried Rachel from the crowd. If this kept up every night, there was no way she'd get home at a decent hour anymore which would mean no pre-bed sex as Finn would be back to waking up at six am to teach at eight in September. Elphaba was both a blessing and a curse.
Finn, Rachel, Anjali and Nick made their way to a bar that wasn't too far away that the cast often visited after shows. As they walked, Rachel was still having a difficult time fathoming the night she had. When they finally made it to the establishment a few members of the chorus greeted them and congratulated Rachel. Nick offered to get the first round while the rest found a table.
Rachel noticed another group staring at them before two women stood up and walked over to where she, Finn and Anjali were sitting. "Sorry to bother you but we saw Wicked tonight and we were just wondering, were you Elphaba?" the shorter of the two women asked sheepishly.
"I was, how did you know?" Rachel replied surprised. She wondered how anyone would be able to recognize her already without being in make-up or near the theatre post-show.
"We sat behind him," the other woman said pointing to Finn. "At the end of the show he kept telling everyone that Elphaba was his girlfriend. I thought we'd take a shot and see if you really were."
Rachel smiled at Finn. "You told everyone I was your girlfriend?"
"Yeah," he said offended, like he wouldn't tell everyone Rachel Berry, star of the show, was his girlfriend. Rachel laughed at him.
The shorter woman spoke again. "You were truly amazing Miss Berry. That was the best show I've ever seen."
"Thank you so much. It was actually my first time playing Elphaba. I was so nervous I was going to screw up," Rachel confessed. The two women looked shocked.
"I never would have guessed. You seemed so sure of yourself." The shorter woman looked at the taller woman. "Well, we'll leave you alone now. Thanks for talking to us."
"Of course!" Rachel said lively. "It means so much that you enjoyed yourselves. Have a great night!" The women waved goodbye and went back to their table.
Nick walked to the table with three beers and an apple martini in his hands. "Well, look at you Miss Shining Star. You already got fans recognizing you in public. That's a sign that you've made it."
"I definitely haven't made it yet. I still have a long way to go," Rachel replied taking a swig of her beer. "But I can't wait to see where the way leads me."
Nick lifted his martini in a toast. "To Wicked, for providing our Rachel with the yellow brick road to her Tony!"
"Here, here!" Finn chimed in, clinking his beer against Nick's glass. The girls added theirs then they took a drink.
"I cannot believe you're a straight man," Anjali commented lifting Nick's martini off the table with a judging glance his way.
"What? I like apples!" The table laughed at Nick's offense. The conversation dissolved into random topics that they all laughed hysterically at. More friends started showing up shortly after that and congratulated Rachel on her first time as a leading lady on Broadway.
As she sat there with her friends and boyfriend, she thought about her life and how it was going. A year ago at that time Rachel was fighting to even get her foot in the door. There were so many struggling actors and actresses in New York, she was lucky to even get the chance. Now here she was on the brink of stardom, starting to get recognized for her talent and appreciated for it. It was something Rachel could definitely get used to.
Fun Fact: When I saw Wicked the second time I for reals teared up at Defying Gravity. I was very moved by the performance.