Hello...present again... bla bla bla bla... Enjoy, review if you wanna ;) P.s. please don't die from lack of dialogue :)

I awoke curled, a dog, on the doorstep of a house, trying to soak up some of the warmth that was inside, protecting me from the Antarctic winter outside. I should have moved south when I still could. But in these freezing temperatures, I would die along the way, if not before I'd even set out. Stretching and stabling myself on my wiry legs, I moved into the thick ice and attempted to stay upright as I paced the streets in the pastel glow of the early morning sun. Life was harder that I'd thought it'd be without Remus' help and what was ever more concerning was that I'd recently received word from Harry about some disturbing occurrences and had to give the child advice, alone. I'd been pondering over what to do in accordance with this for a couple of days now, wondering whether to go back, support him, in an attempt to work on what Remus had said, reinstate myself as a good person. I'd already started – stopping drinking and smoking, partially as an apology for what I'd done, partially because a dog can't really walk around with a cigarette in its mouth and a bottle of gin in its paws without raising some concern. But, if Remus had really meant what he'd said, none of this would work because, even before I'd stared drinking, I was the biggest dickhead this world had ever seen and I had a strange feeling that I wasn't going to change anytime soon.

As the sun slowly rose higher, more people came from their houses for school, work; dressed in layers and layers of coats, scarves, gloves, woolly hats with bobbles on the top as they made their way out. They avoided the shabby stray dog. I didn't mind, it was better than them inspecting me, than them calling the pound. Sneaking into a small alleyway, I rummaged through the rubbish for what I could call a breakfast. It was neither clean nor particularly appetising, but it was far more and better than I'd received in Azkaban, so I had nothing to complain about. As I gnawed on a rubbery piece of half eaten chicken, I played with my thoughts, skimming through all of the possibilities of what I could do next. I knew I wanted to get out of this country, for a start, back to England, even if it did mean risking getting sent back to Azkaban. Maybe I could worm my way into Remus' heart once more... Or maybe, considering Remus might never forgive me, I could in fact try to steal James back, or Harry – the closest thing I had to James – since he didn't seem to have a Lily. Well, in a couple of years, when it became more legal. Make him trust me; see me as a best friend, and then, I could pounce.

I sighed to myself and nuzzled my head between my paws. My sober conscience was truly sickening. He was just a kid. We had at smallest a 20 year age difference and if I even did think about touching him like that, I'm sure that, when I died, Lily would rip my testicles off and staple them to my forehead. Besides, I wouldn't really want the eyes that she had once possessed staring at me naked, looking at me when I woke up, smiling at me. Maybe if I gorged them out... no... That would... just no. I was not going to elope with Harry Potter, full stop, no matter how desperate I got. I was going to try my best to win back Remus and if that failed... well... I could just be friends with Ja-... Harry... yes... "Friends" is good... moral support. James would like that; I would be looking after his son, like I was supposed to have done 12 years ago. But who was I fooling? I was going to get Remus back, whether he liked it or not. That was just the sort of person I was. But I would still be nice to Harry anyway – it's better to have the closest thing to your best friend, even if part of that thing was once part of Lily, than have nothing at all.

I stood once more and began onto the streets. The ice had started to melt a little in the delicate glare of gold, pale yellow, sparkling modest stars into my eyes, soaking itself up the long matted hair that flowed over my feet. I followed the winding streets, the towering blocks of grey, of sullen shades of beige and burgundy, brought to life by the soft touch of the light. I knew that if I walked for long enough in a straight line, I'd be able to get out of this place – it couldn't go on forever and if it did, I was a fool (but we'd already established that).

Surely enough, the concrete forest thinned into smaller houses and then dispersed completely into wilderness. Fields and fields spread for miles, small tufts of woodland swaying in the breeze. When I found the Hippogriff, I was going to go back. I'd be there for Harry as his only left "relative", but more importantly, be there for Remus, be someone he could truly love. I owed him every ounce of my body, my adoration, my existence and if I got bitterness in return I'd happily take it, take it until the day he loved me once more, take it until the day I died, if needs be. As cliché as I'd made this sound: I wasn't going to let myself lose him again.