Penname: Alsper

Original or Derivative (fanfiction): Derivative

Rating/Warning(s)/Note(s): It's Daddysper… that's all I have to say as far as warnings and ratings go lol

Disclaimer: All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

Dialogue Flex: "Are you smoking again?" she asked.

Finally, I sighed letting out a much needed breath. I don't remember bed time being this damned difficult when Alice is around. It's not that the kids were being a handful. Oh no, Jax and Rose were being perfect little angels; didn't fight me once when I told them it was time for bed. It was the oldest that fought it.

I honestly don't know what the hell Alice had that I didn't have, but somehow by the grace of God, that woman can get our unruly tween to bed without world war three erupting. Christ, as it was all I did was tell her to get ready for bed and I swear she caused an earthquake with the force of her stomping.

Thank fuck Alice was coming home tonight, I thought as I checked on the little ones, once more before heading outside.

Once outside I reached up above the outside shelf to grab the box I had stashed there. Alice knew about the box, mainly had smoking papers for Emmett, but as of late there was a pack of smokes. Normally I didn't smoke. I quit about four years ago but it didn't mean I wasn't craving it.

You'd need a smoke too, after dealing with the eleven year old, hell on wheels that is acting more and more like her biological mother every day.

I placed the cigarette between my lips, preparing to light it when I heard the back door open.

"Are you smoking again?" she asked. I looked to see my wife standing there with her arms crossed and eyebrow raised in question.

I pulled it away and looked down, feeling every bit like the scolded child at this moment, since the disappointment was evident in her eyes. "No... It was gonna be my first in four years..."

"Was it really that bad?" she asked.

I sighed and sat on the porch swing. "She picked up on the swearing in her mother's... I mean Maria's language," I told her. Just one of many things today, I added internally.

She sighed and sat next to me. "What did you do about it?"

I started to fidget, rolling the cigarette between my fingers as I thought it over. Alice groaned, removing the smoke from me before snapping it in half and tossing it in the trash can near us. Damn it! "Well, luckily Rose was here for that. Told her to get the soap. But that seemed to have fueled the rest of her 'tude for the day." I shrugged, "I don't know how you do it baby... I wanted to smack her across her face..." I admitted softly.

"I guess it's because she's nicer to me than she is to you," she teased, nudging me with her shoulder.

"Nah... You don't say?" I laughed wrapping my arm around her. "I'm glad you're home."

"I missed you guys," she murmured, leaning into me.

I kissed the top of her head. "Uh huh, I know you loved the fact you got waited on hand a foot," I teased. "Did you get to see the pictures afterwards?" My wife is gonna be in a skin-tini... nice.

"Yep," she smirked at me. "You're gonna love them."

"Oh I know I will," I smirked back, leaning into kiss her just as the ear shattering sound of our eldest screamed.

"JACKSON CHARLES!"

I sighed and placed my forehead to Alice's. "Welcome home," I laughed.