I'm glad people liked my story so I'm continuing it! It will probably be four to five chapters depending on if I make Cass fall or keep him an angel. I'm not sure yet so if people have any idea's about that let me know!
I was so worried about keeping Dean in character in the last chapter and I'm so glad I did! I hope he stays like that in this chapter! I'm not sure about this chapter, I had it written out a different way but Cass sounded to much like the Doctor so I changed it... anyway let me know what you all think please!
Dean's hands clutched tighter at the coat in his hands. He couldn't believe he was actually doing this to himself. He'd never gotten drunk to the point of hallucinations and yet here he was on the ground, clutching Castiel's coat having the dead angel talk to him. This was absolutely killing him., why couldn't he be hallucinating a hot chick from his past? Did it have to be the one person he wasn't sure about? Of course it did his mind was probably his worst enemy, nothing beat him up like himself.
When the angel betrayed them it hurt, if he thought back on all the people who'd left him or lied to him none hurt as bad as it did when Castiel had. It hurt more than it should have for a friend, he tried to tell himself that it was because he was like a brother but he wasn't believing that anymore. When he walked into that lake and left them it crushed Dean. If he was ever honest with himself he'd admit that it hurt worse than having to lose Lisa. And that scared the piss out of him.
"My mind is so fucked up I have to create people to keep me company!" he spat letting out a rough laugh. His voice was rough from the amount of hard liquor he'd drank and the raw emotions that he was biting back. Keeping his hands tightly on the coat he ignored the pain his grip was causing himself, "Here to mock me more? Most times I dream of this you end up mocking me! Why would this be any different." That was the first time he'd admitted out loud that he dreamed of the angel. More like had nightmares, of Castiel telling him it was his fault everyone left him, that he had to find a way to kill himself to get off the leash Dean had put him on.
He clenched his jaw closing his eyes tightly as he waited for the words he'd become so used to in his sleep. "You dream of me Dean Winchester?" The rough voice he usually had taunting him now sounded different. The tone was curious and cautious… so much like the real Castiel.
Pulling his eyebrows together he shook his head slowly, he was also called by his full name. The dream Castiel never did that. He wasn't going to fall for this, it would hurt to much, for a second the fake Cass would let him think he was back, that things might possibly be normal then he would be torn apart. It had happened to many times for him to actually fall for it. Slowly he opened his eyes setting his mouth in a hard line before he stood up slowly keeping the coat in his hands. Call the thing out and it would be over faster, he wouldn't have to sit here and torture himself. Letting out a deep breath he turned around narrowing his eyes at the form of Castiel in front of him.
Dean tried to keep his mouth in a tight line but the look on the face of the other man wouldn't allow that. The eyes he usually saw hard and cold were bright, confused and held no harshness. His eyebrows were pulled together and his head was tilted to the side in the signature Castiel look for confused. The dark hair was messy all over his head as he continued to stare at Dean. He as wearing the same damn suit and tie he always wore minus the trench coat, another difference, Dean noted as he forced his mouth back into the scowl he held earlier. The small twitch of his eyebrows didn't go unnoticed.
Letting the corners of his lips turn up in a smirk he shrugged, "What's this a new game? Make me feel good for a second before I totally rip myself apart?" he spat. He was focusing on not yelling, it would make him feel better, yelling always did, but he would take himself to a new level of crazy if he did. "Just do it and let me go on about my night!" he was already crazy. Standing here drunk off his ass, wallowing in pity for the fact that he missed a dude, a dude who he was imagining standing in front of him, and he was talking to it. Dean Winchester had finally gone off the deep end.
Fake Castiel's eyebrows pulled together his face becoming more confused, "I do not understand…" his head shook lightly as he seemingly tried to make since of Dean's words.
Dean threw the trench coat onto the ground and let out a harsh laugh. "Really?" he spoke quietly. He really should just get in the impala and drive to their motel, that wouldn't be the smart thing to do seeing as he was almost having trouble walking straight, but it was how he did things. "Just stop!" he wasn't expecting himself to yell but that didn't mean it didn't make his chest feel better. "I can't do this… I know I fucked up, I know you left to get away from me, everyone leaves me because I'm worthless!" he closed his eyes reciting the same things he'd heard in his dreams for the past year. "Can you just fucking leave me alone now?"
"I left because I would save you when I did." the voice was quiet but Dean heard it loud and clear. "I've never met a man who was as far from useless as you Dean."
"I said stop!" Dean snapped looking back at the impala, he had to get out of here he couldn't listen to this, no matter how many times he'd fallen for things like this he was falling right back into it. He was letting his heart get the better of him, he should be strong enough now not to care. Words were just that, words. After the things he'd been around his whole life he should be able to just walk away from words. But it wasn't the words he was having a hard time ignoring, it was who was saying these words.
Letting out a choked breath he shook his head walking towards the impala jerking the door open only to have it close almost instantly. "You are in no condition to drive Dean." The voice was to close to him, looking to the side he was face to face with the bright blue eyes that for the first time tonight held anger, here it came, "Are you trying to kill yourself and your precious baby?"
Growling he pushed himself away from his car and the man. This was still going on? Why couldn't he just hurry up and snap out of it. "No I'm trying to get back to my fucking room and my brother! I'm really tired of standing here talking to myself!" Before he had a chance to respond he felt two fingers on his forehead and his stomach flipped.
Letting out heavy breaths Dean looked around with wide eyes. He was back in the parking lot of the motel standing in front of his room door. Castiel was no where in sight but he was back at the room. "What the hell?" he muttered breathlessly. There was no way this was happening.
"This is safer than driving. I'll bring your baby later when I have more energy." Dean spun around quickly looking at the man in front of him. Pulling his eyebrows together he noted the tired look on his face and the worry clearly etched into his eyes.
"Son of a bitch Cass?" he swallowed hard looking over the angel who had the trench coat on his time. He turned his head as he felt the tears prickling the back of his eyes, he couldn't cry now. "This can't be…" he ran his hand through his short hair not believing this.
He heard Castiel clear his throat before speaking, "I told you I would make up for what I'd done Dean. I've never broken a promise to you."
Turning his head back towards Castiel he laughed slightly clenching his fists. "Damn it!" he swore grabbing the angel by the shoulders wrapping his arms around him as he felt the tears fall from his eyes, he'd rather hug like a chick then let Cass see him cry.