Back to the past... Well... I always thought that Sirius looked like he should play piano... I think it sorta suits him... so I put it in... I know it doesn't say he does, so all you Harry Potter Nazis don't criticise, but it also doesn't say he doesn't... So I can put it in all I want... Mwa ha ha ha ha! I win ;)
I'd been seeing Severus 'secretly' for about a month now. To say I hadn't developed any feelings for him, well, that would be a lie. But most, if not all of these, were extensions of the pity and disgust I felt for him before. And even if there was a small amount of love lingering defiantly in the mess that I called my heart, it was nothing compared to the longing and hunger I felt for what I wish was still my Remus Lupin.
I spread the sheet music I'd bought on many of my rendezvous around Muggle London with Rems, out on the piano. I'd never had the time to learn them before, running wildly after him, and he'd never heard me play. So, I considered this as an occasion to finally finish what I'd started. I unfolded my hands out on the cold white keys and let them dance across in a mix of black, white and skin, along with the arching and waving of the music, sound playing off the walls of the music room on the 5th floor, inviting passing students to watch and listen, with warm hands.
Snape slinked in and sat next to me on the stool, leaning his head against my arm as if he was cute, as if this was for him.
"That's beautiful." He sighed, pushing away students with disgust at the growing appearance of our relationship, as I brought the song to a cadence. "How did you learn to play like that? Music is a Muggle sort of thing – I doubt your parents would let you be taught."
"Whoever said they let me? I taught myself of course. Look, it's easy."
I flicked a grin in his direction, lifted him up onto my lap and rested my head on his shoulder, sliding my hands on top of his so he could shadow my movements, just in case Remus happened to be passing.
"I'm sure you know all about the crap with middle C on the actual key board... and I find it's best to learn where they are on the manuscript and work from there." My hand jabbed at the paper, to the gap below the bottom line and the 3rd gap up, then to the start of the stave. "You need to find the key – in this case, it's D flat major. Now follow my hands, it goes: F, D flat, G flat in the right hand with the left going: D flat, G flat, then a chord of D flat and E flat, holding and returning to play 3 more G flats." I demonstrated, letting him follow, professing the rest of the song to him as he copied my every move and every word.
The sparks of sunlight began to burn out, casting vibrant pinks and oranges across the stunning ceiling of the summer's day, pushing shadows and radiance into the room to bounce and sparkle off the shiny ebony of grand piano. I withdrew my hands from the keys and slipped my arms around his waist into a comfortable hug, titling my head to look into the abyss of black that was contained in his eyes.
"I think we should stop there. See it's not that hard, consider these lessons a gift."
From the doorway, a little female voice sprouted, muttering to a friend.
"Who do you think the girl is? I wouldn't mind a gift like that."
Severus, looking quite agitated by this, spun around and sat facing me on my lap, sloping his pale, slender arms around my neck and attacking my lips. In times like these, I really realised how similar him and Remus' tolerance to jealousy was.
"How about I give you a gift back in my dorm in, like," He glanced at an imaginary watch "Now?"
I stood, letting him slip down my legs and leaning to kiss his forehead.
"If that gift involves your arse, I'm all up for it."
When I'd finally managed to get back to dorm, Remus had been waiting for me, ready to pounce into an argument about Snape and then trying to convince me that he was dating Lily Evans, of all people. Which failed, might I add, because 1) James considered Lily his and was prepared to eat the hands of any man that tried to get near to her, 2) along with the first theory, Remus still had hands and 3) it, just, no, they were too good friends. I sat under my bed covers, biting my thumb, as I had been doing for the past 2 hours. But, if they actually were dating, what would happen then? I groaned and slipped out into the humid air, filled with the breath of sticky 16 and 17 year olds, to sit on Remus' trunk and watch him slumber. I sighed.
"Oh, Rems... Can you believe what I've done to? I mean you still sleep so peacefully, but... I don't get it – I don't get why you can resist the urge to jump at me; to stop this... unless, I... was just a huge cover up for your feelings for Lily... I still don't believe that it's true... but..." My heart wrenched. "But... well... maybe I'm just being naive..." Tenderly, through his warm strings of sunshine, fingers played and twisted. "It hurts, Rems, not to know... What are you thinking... dreaming? They must be beautiful... just wonderful... like they should be... with kings and queens and dragons and fairies... How does the prince say he loves you?" I heaved. "I bet it's not by running off with another man..." He rolled, still very much asleep, but flashing his chest... his wonderful, bare chest. My hands burned, itched to touch the pale skin that covered his stunning frame, to kiss it with hot lips. "Please, oh Merlin, it's been a month! A week, fine-ish, but a month is just taking the piss! Why can't you just let me say I'm sorry? Can't we be friends, at least?" I leant my head next to his on the bed and listened to his serene breath and his quietly pumping heart. "Why can't I stop when you ask me to leave you alone?"