Present... enjoy :P

I'd never felt so welcome in years, living in such closely knit surroundings, the warmth, the happiness that encircled me. It felt like I was finally in a proper family and, as much as I detested this house and its past, I could almost see a happy future in it, once it was clear of everything to do with the Blacks.

I smiled, watching Remus and Molly cook, the pot boiling, swirling wisps of steam into the air, filling the room with the wonderful scent of a group meal, and left the room, satisfied that he was enjoying himself, fitting in delightfully as he should have done. A small fraction of my essence glowed, truthfully happy about the commitment I'd tied myself to, despite what little I knew of how these things worked. But, as quickly as the sensation had come, it dispersed, like a pleasant dream on a summer's night, with the circular lump of cold metal that now pressed uncomfortable against the inside of my palm, paired with a crisp piece of parchment.

'Want it back?'

What the hell was that supposed to mean? Was the man that persuaded me into this really going to return it just like that? After all we'd been through I'd be disgusted if this was just some kind of sick joke and if it wasn't... well... I wasn't quite sure what I'd do with myself... to myself... but death seemed to sound like quite a comfortable antidote at that current point in time...

I leant back against the wall, mind writhing with rough thoughts as I read and reread the little slip over, trying to understand what it meant, hoping that more would come to explain. But it never did, hanging me in awestricken silence. Remus slid from the doorway, handing me a sideways grin, making me sneer.

"You don't want it? Are my eyes lying to me or something? Is that really Remus Lupin in there or is he locked in cupboard somewhere?" I growled, thrusting the gold into the depths of my pocket and making my way apart from him, up the dirty wooden staircase.

"Sirius, don't walk away from me! So, you would have rather I'd told her?"

I didn't look back, the tears welling in the pits of my eyes, unable to shake the feeling. "Yes," My body heaved "Rather than be alone."

His warm, caring hand stole my wrist, looking up to me, face playing innocently in his favour, the depths of blue wishing and wooing, moving the tides. "I didn't tell her because I didn't want to make you angry – Giving you the ring was only temporary."

"I guess it's like our engagement then..." I fumed, snatching my arm back and letting the door of my old bedroom slam shut behind me.

I was odd being in there again, the foolish posters I'd stuck all over the walls of girls in bikinis, the bright colours of the Gryffindor flags, back in the time I'd sunk into the snug haze of denial, so warm and soothing, nicer than the reality that awaited me. I could have found a girl, settled down, had kids all by now, if I just hadn't listened to what my brain felt was 'right' and 'wrong', and, you know, maybe if I'd trusted myself a little more not to destroy Lily because of the superficial feelings I'd had for James in the past, they could still be together, together and alive and this would have ended much sooner than now. I sighed and squeezed the arc of my nose, letting fingers slip into my eye sockets and cast an array of multicolour stars across the darkness, odd patterns swishing and swirling within my head.

"Oh, for fuck's sake, Sirius! Open this door and help me!" Remus screamed through the closed door.

I groaned "If you're doing this to try and make me talk to you, it isn't going to work."

"SIRIUS, HELP ME! IT'S SILVER, THE DOORKNOB, I CAN'T LET GO!"

I yanked the door open, forcing him to tumble into the room, his hand still sorely stuck to the handle as I pulled my wand out and chanted 'Finite' at the spot. It released and left him to clutch onto the tender blistering hand, tears dribbling down his face, lacing his cheeks in a crystal flood. My arms reached out to the wreck in front of me, caring not for my momentary lapse in judgement, and called him affectionately into my room. He sobbed into my chest.

"Wh-wh-why do you have a silver doorknob?"

"I honestly have no clue... My parents must have put them in to prevent you from sneaking in..." I breathed down the back of his neck.

His head rose to look at the room around us, all the posters, everything. I felt my cheeks heat, extraordinarily embarrassed by the younger self the man I loved knew nothing of.

"Errrr... I was a kid and I... sort of put... permanent sticking charms on them – ouch, don't hit me – I can think of someone much more tasty who's standing right in front of me." I grinned, placing a kiss on his parting lips and kicking the door shut, ready to make a start on his shirt buttons.

He stopped me with his unscathed hand, but continued to kiss me franticly as I had wanted all week, having to hide it from the Weasleys in cupboards or sneaking around at night. His hands lifted and matted my hair, tensing with the movement below the blister. I parted from him, taking the sore hand and giving him a look – when he hurt I hurt too.

"Sorry, Rems." I whispered into the Black Family crest imprinted into his hand, dark, scarred, like he'd been branded with the mark of evil, weaving and twirling in elaborate stokes.

My family really did repulse me, why, how they thought that brandishing someone was acceptable, I do not know. But the fact that they did it to prevent me from seeing the one person that made me truly happy, would go as far as to hurt him and leave a scar, to remind me of my place in the world. It was despicable.

Before I even noticed myself, something had erupted within me, drawing salt water to run free from my eyes and patter unto the swollen island of red on his palm. Angel tears worked, but I was no angel, just a foolish man who'd fallen in love with the god of divine beauty, the god of the night.

"Episkey" I gurgled, through quiet sobs.

A kind thumb wiped the tears from my face, pulling me inwards to a passionate kiss, his wonderful lips sharing a frantic moment with mine, a long tale of lovers, lost in a sensational fairytale with the love of my life, my best friend, the single entity that mattered most to me in the world. I opened my eyes to see two ginger heads dangling from above, a little blob of pink flesh on a string being quickly drawn upwards as they looked nervously at one another. My body froze. It had to be them to find out, didn't it – The boys often compared to a couple of young, ginger versions of me and James... and... Well... I knew what The Marauders would do if they were presented with such a ripe and exciting fact: humiliate the poor bastards.

Remus flicked round to see what I was staring at, instantly releasing me as the pair's heads slid back up out of view, and drew away, beginning to pace, like a man on death row. I wasn't sure what we'd do. I mean, it was easy enough staying like that so everybody knew, but there would be so many questions, people eager to destroy any moral fibre I had left in me. And Harry... I was certain it would completely obliterate however much respect he would have for me in the future.

I slid my hand into my pocket and thought for a moment, twirling a piece of chain between my fingers until an idea struck me, pulling him towards me.

"I have a solution..." My hands slipped the metal around his neck, dropping the ring to dangle at the end. "If anyone notices, tuck it in your shirt."