A Great Escape

Chapter 9: What lies within

Shen felt as dazed as if he had just surfaced from a dream. Was he losing his peripheral vision, or had he simply been that distracted? He could have sworn that the cemetery had been empty just a moment ago! And yet there was Lanying, standing a few yards behind him among a cluster of other grave markers, her wings dangling limply by her sides.

A torrent of conflicting emotions made his head spin – embarrassment, confusion, and even anger all threatening to gang up on his unprepared mind. What was she doing here? Her parents had said that they kept her a shut-in, so how had she gotten out into the city? She probably thought that he was even more of a nut now that she had heard him speaking at great lengths to no one…but still, how dare she trespass on a private, personal moment between him and his dead parents?

And, of course, exactly how much had she heard?

Lanying's face did not provide an answer to any of these questions. Her expression was blank, and her wings were hanging limply by her sides; and unlike the other time that Shen had met with her, she looked rather unkempt, as if she had entirely done away with maintaining per personal appearance. She was no longer wearing the elaborate dress robe that she had donned during their initial meeting, and her brown-gray smock and dark green cloak were just as shapeless and unflattering as that fancier garment, if quite a bit more dusty and threadbare. There were smears of what looked suspiciously like paint on her fingers and sleeves. She met his probably-stupidly-shocked face with an uninflected, unreadable expression.

Finally, Shen managed to make his vocal chords work. "What are you doing here?" he asked flatly.

"What are you doing here?" she shot back in an irritatingly tippy tone of voice.

He bristled – not in a fiery-burst-of-temper way, but in an upset, that-was-an-inconsiderate-question way. "I happen to be visiting my parents' graves," he snapped. "I should think that I have all the reason in the world to be here."

"And I was in the city and happened to see you," she retorted plainly. "Forgive me for being curious as to where my future husband goes in his spare time."

The emphasis she placed on "future husband" suggested that she had either misheard or misinterpreted the part of his monologue concerning his true plans for her. He exhaled roughly. "Just how much did you hear?"

She crossed her arms defensively. "All I heard was you speculating that, given my current situation, I could turn into a monster like you were. And then you were addressing your…dead parents, but that was of no interest to me."

Shen shut his eyes and shook his head, breathing out slowly. She must think I'm a nutcase. Still, she was being rather rude. Maybe she hadn't caught what he'd said about not really intending to marry her, but could she really not see that he was only trying to help her?

All he could think of to say was, "What were you even doing in the city? Your parents mentioned that you don't go out much…"

Lanying flared briefly; her violet eyes flashed in anger, although her voice remained cool and bitter. "I see. And did they happen to mention that the reason I don't go out much is because they force me to stay locked away?"

"Not in such terms, no. But I figured – "

"I don't have any reason to leave my room, no friends to speak of, no errands to run, and I know exactly what everyone thinks of me. But I do go a bit stir-crazy sometimes, and, well, I'm sorry for following you, but I didn't know what else I should do! I needed some air, I was curious and a bit frightened about where you might be going…and forgive me for not being thrilled about our upcoming marriage, but think about what this is like for me!"

"I am thinking about what this is like for you," insisted Shen, exasperated. "Will you allow me a moment to explain myself?"

"I don't need you to explain yourself! I'm very used to being taken advantage of because of my condition, I assure you. You wanted a wife, so you figured that you'd take the easy catch, the one who suffers from panic attacks and can't afford to protest – that's it, isn't it?"

"That's not it at all." Shen was surprised by how calm and patient he managed to sound. "Miss Xifeng, listen to me for once. I know that all you know about me you've heard from rumors. Didn't you ever think that there might be more to me than what the public saw? I know what it's like to have your parents be ashamed of you for something you can't control and try to hide you from everyone. And I'm not prejudiced against you because of your panic attacks…I have them, too."

For the first time, Lanying seemed to grasp something of the world beyond her own plight. Her tense shoulders dropped, and her eyes grew stunned and blinked, reflecting something besides bitterness. "You do?" she said.

"Yes, I do." Shen moved closer to her, determined to get her to hear him out now that he actually had her attention. "Not as frequently as you seem to have them, but I had a few when I was a chick, and two others just a couple of weeks ago. I know how it feels, Lanying. I'm not trying to antagonize you; I only want to help."

She shook her head, bewildered. "But…why didn't you mention any of this when we meant yesterday?"

He dredged up a wry smile. "Because your parents were there. Do you really think they'd consent to the marriage of two people with the same issues? I'm meant to be supporting you, remember?"

She averted her eyes, her partial crest drooping slightly. Shen couldn't help but feel a tad triumphant. At last, she's showing that she has a conscience.

"I suppose you're right," Lanying admitted. "Forgive me. I…please understand, this has come as a shock to me. I was only very recently told by my parents that I had to marry, or they would send me to an asylum. And you didn't come to mind when I was wondering who in China would actually want to marry me. I wasn't intending to…"

"It's fine," Shen assured her. "I knew that you wouldn't exactly be thrilled about the arrangement…which is why that it is imperative that you must know that – "

"Lanying!" a shrill voice called, and both peafowl started in surprise. Their heads snapped towards the cemetery entrance, where the instantly recognizable form of Yue Xifeng was striding towards them indignantly. The elder peahen began to wave her fan at her daughter disapproving, clicking her tongue several times as she trilled, "There you are! What in the world are you doing in the Cemetery of Nobles? I cannot believe that you snuck out again – is that anyway for a lady to behave? For heaven's sake, you are about to be married!"

It was then that Yue caught sight of Shen, and she cleared her throat, smiling awkwardly and suddenly paying considerable attention to fanning herself. "Oh, Master Shen…please pardon my daughter's behavior. She really should know better, but I'm sure you understand that she does such silly things sometimes…I'm sure that her manners will improve after the wedding…"

"Oh, don't worry about it, Lady Yue." Shen bowed, trying to think of a sufficient story to assure Yue that this accidental meeting was caused by him somehow. "Your daughter and I were anxious to meet again, that's all – "

"No, Mother, it was an accident," Lanying interrupted. "Shen came here to see his parents, and I followed him."

"See his parents…? And you followed him? Of all the disrespectful things to do to your future husband!" Yue glared at Lanying so venomously that Shen was very much taken aback. So far, he had only seen Yue as the chatty, slightly ditzy wife of a political advisor. He never would have suspected that she had the capacity to look so fierce.

"We're going home this instant," she continued, "and you will not be allowed out on your own until I say so, do you understand me? Honestly, Lanying, you could not be any more immature if you tried! This childish conduct has got to stop?"

Shooting another nervous smile at Shen, she gripped her daughter's wing in a way that looked like it was probably painful and escorted the younger peahen home.

…

Lanying was dragged back to her parents' house, given a halfhearted scolding by her father, and unceremoniously confined to her room. She hardly noticed any of it. Her parents had lacked either the intelligence or the gall to take away her painting and writing supplies, and as she dove into her previous piece of the city and the Tower of the Sacred Flame (which she now began to effortlessly portray as a comforting guardian), her mind kept poring over what she had learned about Shen from their conversation. She had never suspected that the former warlord had a soft spot of any kind. Who would have thought that he routinely poured his heart out to his dead parents, or still carried memories of a bad childhood, or – the real shocker for her – suffered from panic attacks?

Suddenly, all of the fantasies that she had abandoned so long ago were becoming reality again. She might really be able to have a husband who understood her and who would guide her through her awful attacks. She doubted that Shen was insincere; it was extremely implausible that he would go through the trouble of leading her to his parents' graves and lying about everything there, just to deceive her. He hadn't known that she was in the cemetery too, she was certain of it. There was really more of him than the rumors she'd heard let on.

She couldn't remember the last time that her paintbrush had moved so energetically. All right, so one sincere meeting didn't give her a full understanding of the infamous Lord Shen's character, but that didn't mean that she couldn't try to make the best of this arrangement from now on. She could ask him questions…learn the full story of his history…find out who he really was. Perhaps he'd be the one that she'd been waiting on for so long, the person who would support her, both emotionally and in the more practical sense of the word. He'd listen to her when she wanted to trot out an idea for him, comfort her when she needed it…in those bright, optimistic moments, she could have cared less about how much she disliked her parents. The arrangements they had made with Lord Shen might just work out for the best, in a way that they had never even anticipated.

Lanying continued to paint later into the night than she usually would have, her creativity oddly stimulated, her mind swirling with daydreams about what benefits this marriage might bring.

…

When Shen returned to the dormitory, his companions saw that he seemed unusually thoughtful and introverted. Figuring that he was still emotionally compromised from the confrontation with his past, they allowed him some alone time. Actually, he was mostly contemplating Lanying, if in a distinctly less sentimental way than she was currently thinking of him.

Her actions were coming across as rather confusing to him. Perhaps there was some deeply buried driving force behind her motivations that he hadn't uncovered yet, or perhaps it was just the trouble that always arises when members of the opposite sex attempt to deal with each other. He remembered that he and Xun, while in their teens, had often complained about the indecipherability of "girls," as if being a different gender meant that they were automatically unfathomable beyond reason. Truthfully, though, neither of them had really attempted to get involved with women. Even if Shen's engagement was only false, that didn't change the fact that he had absolutely no experience dealing with matters like this.

He regretted that Yue had interrupted them before he'd been able to tell Lanying about his real intentions. Despite the brief understanding that they had come to, he knew that she was almost certainly still not thrilled by the situation that she had been cast into. She would be very relieved when he finally managed to tell her that she wouldn't be forced to marry him.

After all, there was no way that a perplexing lady like Lanying would want to get involved with a renown criminal like him.

That was just preposterous…wasn't it?

A/N - Holy gosh you guys, I was very surprised by the amount of reviews last chapter! Thanks so much! I really do appreciate it, so please keep it up!