Hello all! Just a few comments on this chapter. If you've ever been to the 'The Majestic Beast' page on my Tumblr you will recognize the Finnicorn. I've wanted to incorporate the Finnicorn into a story for a while and the opportunity finally arose to do so. Basically this chapter is all fluff with citrus-y undertones. Enjoy!
December 26th, 2014
He stood under the tree wondering how he could get to the green Sour Patch Kids on the top. They were his favorite and he wanted them now. Orange and yellow covered the lower half and the trunk of the tree was the dreaded red flavor. Finnicorn went up onto his hind legs and tried to bite at the greens but it was useless. They were too far away to be reached.
"Hahahaha! You stupid unicorn, you'll never reach my delicious green Kids," the red trunk taunted. He stuck his tongue out at Finnicorn then turned around and shook his butt at him. Enraged at his mockery, Finnicorn growled and bit the red Kid on the butt. He immediately regretted it however because the flavor was nasty.
"Eugh, red," Finnicorn grumbled. As the red Kid ran away, a few of his yellow and orange Kids falling off, Finnicorn shouted after him, "And I'm not a unicorn! I'm a Finnicorn!"
After unsuccessfully obtaining his favorite of Sour Patch Kids from the Sour Patch tree, Finnicorn decided to go for the next best thing: a dip under the Nutella waterfall. It was awesome because he could not only swim but he could eat too and there was always the off chance he'd catch a glimpse of Berrycorn on his way there. She was quite elusive, but he knew eventually she'd let him catch her. It was a constant chase between them.
He strutted to the waterfall through the maze of tall grass, all the other creatures romping around in the periphery. He could see them flitting about watching him through the blades. Finnicorn wondered if Berrycorn was watching him too. He tried to look around but his vision kept blurring. Maybe he needed glasses? Before he could make it to the Nutella waterfall he had to cross the Mountain Dew stream and as he approached, just on the other side, there she was.
Her body shimmered pink and her mane and tail were long and snow white. He'd never seen her up close but he had to now; she was just too beautiful not to. As he stepped closer, she stepped back, never letting him get close. Then he realized why she was moving away from him. He had to dance for her before he could approach her, duh!
Finnicorn started shaking his head and stomping his hooves and his rump swayed back and forth as he tried to woo the beautiful creature on the other side of the stream. He thought he was doing a pretty damn good job considering how uncoordinated he tended to be but the rest of the forest didn't seem to think so. All the other creatures came out and started laughing at him. He stopped moving and his heart started racing as the embarrassment set in. Everyone pointed at him and called him names and they just wouldn't stop laughing. The faces swirled around him as he tried to find Berrycorn. He needed to find her and tell her how he felt. Finnicorn loved her and had to show her that!
The taunting laughter grew louder and louder and the faces moved in closer until they all seemed to converge on him at once. Finnicorn closed his eyes and ducked his head yelling at them to leave him alone. The noise was becoming so loud he could barely think until suddenly, everything was silent.
He opened his eyes and found himself in a locker room, the girls' locker room at McKinley to be exact. It was silent and empty which turned out to be a good thing as Finn, now human, realized he was stark naked in the middle of the room. Bewildered, Finn covered his goods with his hands and leaned against a row of lockers. He had to find a way out of the locker room fast before any girls could see him naked.
As stealthily as a 6'3" naked man could move about in a room that had an unforgiving echo, Finn made his way through the maze of lockers. Every time he turned he thought he found the door out but he just came across another row of lockers. It was getting ridiculous that he couldn't find the damn door. The boys' locker room certainly wasn't this difficult to navigate.
When he made one more turn right, there it was, the way out. The only problem was that it was swinging inward at that exact moment. Finn could hear the voices, the female voices, coming from the other side. He had to hide and quick before they could realize he was there.
Finn dove into the opening in the wall that appeared almost as if by magic. He rolled into what seemed to be the showers, the tile cold on his overheated body. His heart pounded in his ears and his palms were all sweaty from nerves. How did he end up in this situation?
Lockers slammed as he heard the girls speaking. He couldn't make out anything they were saying but he could tell what group of girls it was, it was the Cheerios. Finn was about to get caught naked in the girls' locker room by the hottest girls in school!
He crawled into a corner of the shower bringing his limbs into his body as close as he could. Maybe if he could make his body small enough they wouldn't notice him. Fat chance. Just when he got comfortable the group of girls entered the showers, naked themselves, and found Finn curled up in a ball in the corner of the room. Instead of getting pissed like he assumed they would, they actually seemed to treat him like a lost little boy. A brunette with long hair and a rockin' body tiptoed over to him and knelt beside him.
"Are you ready?" she asked in a comforting voice, gently stroking his cheek. He looked at her, not understanding what she meant but he shook his head yes anyway. She smiled coyly at him then took his hand in hers. It felt nice holding her hand. It was warm and soft and small in his large one.
They both stood and turned around to find a lowly lit bed waiting before them. Finn felt his half smile pop on his face as he saw what was lying on the bed. There, wearing nothing but sweat were Santana, Quinn and Brittany all making out and doing…other things to each other.
Finn gulped as he felt Finn Jr. make an appearance and felt the brunette next to him pull him forward. She shoved him onto the bed with the other girls, pushing him on his back and straddling his thighs. The girls immediately stopped what they were doing and took notice of Finn. Smiling and mewling they all started to kiss him wherever they could, making their way lower and lower until they got to where the brunette was sitting on his lap.
With a pout they all stopped and backed away from him much to Finn's displeasure. He wanted a five-some damn it! Roughly he was being pulled up by the brunette on his thighs until they were face to face. Then he realized why the other girls had backed away. The brunette wasn't just a brunette, it was his brunette; it was Rachel.
She smiled at him then started licking his face. Her tongue was slobbery and warm but it felt really nice too. Rachel started licking inside his ear then which really tickled and Finn started laughing.
"Rachel, that tickles," he said with a giggle. She kept licking his face making her way back to his mouth then shoved her tongue inside it and wiggled it around.
Finn's eyes flew open as he snapped awake, now acutely alert and focused on the fact that his mother's new puppy had her tongue inside his mouth. He shoved the tiny Dachshund away from his body and spluttered, trying to get anything the dog could have left behind off his tongue.
The little brown hotdog yapped at Finn and wagged her tail happily. Finn swiped at her, annoyed at the disgusting wake-up call but she was too quick for him. She ducked and dodged left avoiding Finn's large hand. She barked at him again and shook a little in excitement. The puppy thought Finn was playing with her and she was having a grand time.
"You little…" Finn scooped her up before she could hop off his bed and brought her to his face. "No! Bad girl! No French kissing!" Clearly the puppy didn't get it as she stuck her tongue out and licked the tip of Finn's nose, her tail wagging behind her. Finn's eyes narrowed at the puppy. "You're lucky you're cute." Finn would never admit it to anyone, especially his mother, but he had to admit he kind of liked the little dog. He wouldn't become one of those dudes who goes around walking a little punter wearing a pink sweater or anything, if Finn ever got a dog he'd get a big one with a loud bark, but he thought Pixie was kind of adorable.
The dog had been Finn's idea but Burt was the one who inspired it. Carole had always wanted a dog but could never really afford one being a single mother who could barely afford her son and even after she met Burt and things got a little easier and Finn got a little older, she still didn't think she could handle a dog. There were two teenage boys in the house, one which made enough mess for her to clean up already and the other which would kill the poor animal if it ever got its paws on anything he owned. Carole's dream of a little Dachshund puppy had been put on the backburner never to be revisited until Burt asked Finn what he thought would be a great Christmas present for his mom.
Finn hadn't the slightest idea what would be good for her until he was walking to class the one day and got tangled up in a dog walker's dogs. They circled his legs as he waited for the crosswalk signal to change and when he tried to remove himself from the mess of leashes, he fell and landed face first on the sidewalk. When he opened his eyes after taking a moment to recover he came face to butt with an aging Dachshund who proceeded to pass gas into his nostrils. That was when he remembered his mom had always wanted one.
Flash forward to four weeks later and Carole was being handed a little brown Dachshund puppy with a red and green bow on its head and a pink collar that said 'Pixie' around its neck. Carole couldn't stop squealing over the tiny puppy and Finn thought she might be giving her too much love as the poor things eyes seemed to bug out of its head with the ferocity Carole was petting her skull. Now that Finn and Kurt were no longer in the house on a long term basis and it was just Carole and Burt, it seemed like a good time for Carole to finally get her dream.
Later that day, Rachel came over and just about died when she saw the dog. Rachel dropped to her knees and leaned forward making kissy faces at the puppy as she told her what a cute little baby she was in rather obnoxious baby talk. Finn hoped she would never talk like that to an actual baby, including theirs they would have someday. It wasn't all bad watching her interact with the puppy though as her skirt had ridden up revealing her red cheeky panties and her fine ass. Finn tilted his head to get a better look until Carole saw what he was doing and smacked him across the back of the head. He protested saying it was nothing he hadn't seen before which earned him another smack from his mother and a glare from Rachel who furiously pulled her skirt over her bum. Even Pixie seemed agitated with him as she turned around in a half circle facing away from him and decidedly sat her butt down sticking her nose in the air.
Back in the present, Finn laid out in his bed holding Pixie over his head and bouncing her in the air. She barked playfully at him, her tail still twitching rapidly behind her in happiness. Apparently the pooch had taken a liking to Finn. He didn't fully understand how she had gotten into his room and up onto his bed but puppies were crafty little devils. Or someone put her there.
Finn could hear snickering coming from behind his bedroom door which was slightly ajar. He thought that was weird since he knew he closed the door before going to sleep as he had a pre-bed wank. He narrowed his eyes suspiciously as he got off the bed carrying Pixie in one hand. He pulled the door open and found Rachel and Kurt outside his door, laughing so hard they were silent. They were piled on top of one another on the floor of the hall.
"What the hell…?" Finn asked eyebrow arched in wonder.
"Rachel, that tickles!" Kurt cried, pointing at Finn before coughing out in laughter again, Rachel shaking just as hard next to him. "You should have seen your face!" He held his side as a stitch hit him and wiped his eyes with his other hand when they started to tear up.
"So who's the better kisser, me or Pixie?" Rachel asked before laughter took hold of her again.
Finn rolled his eyes and shook his head before flipping them off and walking back into his room and shutting the door behind him. He could still hear Kurt and Rachel laughing in the hall but he was trying his hardest to ignore them.
He lay back down on his bed and placed Pixie on his chest. She snuggled into his body and rubbed her face with her little paws before letting out a big yawn. Being a baby still she needed a lot of rest and apparently playing around with Finn earlier had taken a lot out of her. She yawned again and laid her head down, her eyes drooping more and more until they closed. Finn could hear her heavy breathing almost immediately and he snorted at how easily she fell asleep.
There was a knock on his door then it cracked open. "Can I come in?" Rachel asked in a small voice. She wasn't sure if Finn was really mad at her or not and she didn't want to upset him further. Not wanting to wake Pixie with his booming voice he simply nodded and Rachel opened the door more then shut it behind her. She tiptoed over to Finn's bed noticing that Pixie was asleep and quietly laid down beside him.
"Sorry we had such a great laugh at your expense. We just weren't expecting it to play out that way. We assumed you'd wake up right when we dropped her on your chest but you must have been in a deeper sleep than we thought. She was so cute licking your face and your ear. Then you said 'Rachel, that tickles'. It makes me wonder what you dream about." Rachel pet Pixie's head lightly, playing with her ears.
"Oh, uh, just you know…usual dream stuff," Finn covered poorly. Rachel raised her eyebrow incredulously at him.
"Mhm, I'm sure. You were wearing that little smirk you have when you're horny plus you had a pretty strong erection going on but I know it was just usual dream stuff," Rachel said with a serious tone before laughing at Finn and giving him a kiss on the cheek. She looked back down at the sleeping puppy which Finn was petting absentmindedly. "She really seems to like you. Why is it that children and animals love you so much?"
"Maybe it's because of my animal magnetism," he replied with a cheesy grin.
Rachel snorted at him. "Well whatever it is it's adorable. Maybe we could have one someday."
Finn's eyes narrowed in confusion. "A child or a dog?"
"Both actually, but I was thinking dog. She would have to be little though. There's no way I could handle a big dog."
Finn looked at her like she was crazy. "We can't have a little dog! That's so not manly. We need like a Great Dane or a St. Bernard or something."
"Do you want the dog to be able to stare me in the face while on four legs? Finn, with my size there's no way I could own a dog that big. Plus, big dogs need big space which we will not have living in an apartment in Manhattan. We need a cute little dog like a Chihuahua or an Italian Greyhound or a Dachshund like Pixie." Rachel played with the sleeping puppy's tiny paws.
"We are not getting a frilly dog Rach. I can't walk around New York with a Chihuahua. With my size there's no way that would look normal and come on, little dogs are just so girly. Puck would definitely be all over me about how I let you keep my balls in a jar on the shelf if we got a purse dog."
Rachel sighed in indignation. "Well seeing as it's all just talk for now since we are nowhere near ready for a dog, let's just agree to disagree. We can cross that bridge if and when we come to it." She sat up and turned to face Finn head on sitting back on her calves, hands placed on her thighs. "So have you been wondering why I'm over here at nine am the day after Christmas?" She raised her eyebrow at him, a small smile playing at her lips.
Finn shook his head. "I wasn't until you said something. What are you doing here at nine am the day after Christmas?" he asked with interest.
Rachel looked shocked that she had to explain herself. "It's a very important anniversary for us," she said smiling and biting her lip.
Finn's eyes widened as he realized that he forgot their anniversary until he remembered their anniversary, the one he and Rachel officially went by, was in May. "Our anniversary is in May…" he replied slowly still not getting it.
"Wow Finn, I am truly surprised that you do not remember why this day is important for us." Rachel started humming Santa Baby and once he recognized the tune, a light bulb went on in his head.
"Oh yeah, three year anniversary of the first time we had sex. How could I forget that?" he said as a goofy grin stretched across his face at the memory. Finn had been so distracted by Pixie making out with him and Rachel and Kurt laughing at him that he forgot it was in fact December 26th. He and Rachel hadn't made any official plans to celebrate their own special little holiday but he hoped they could if at all possible. "Are you here to celebrate with me?"
"That was the plan but if you don't feel up to it…"
Forgetting that he had a puppy lying on his chest, Finn sat up abruptly and pulled Rachel against him. He kissed her passionately until he felt kneading against his stomach. When he looked down he saw the little brown hotdog squirming between him and Rachel, padding his body, trying to break free from the tiny area she was trapped in. She yapped her frustration at them a little once Finn pulled her out from between them then leaped off the bed. Pixie flew over to the door and started scratching at it, barking, demanding that they open it so she could exit the room.
Rachel got off Finn's bed and strolled over to his door to open it for the dog. Pixie bolted from the room in the direction of the stairs. She told Finn she'd be right back as she wanted to make sure Pixie didn't fall down the stairs or anything then shut the door behind her.
A few minutes later Rachel re-entered Finn's room and couldn't help but burst into laughter. Lying on his bed in what he clearly thought was a seductive manner was Finn wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Only the hat wasn't on his head.
"I don't think you're wearing that correctly," Rachel teased as she sauntered over to the bed and got back on it.
"You're definitely not wearing that right," Finn snapped back gesturing at her entire ensemble. "I think it would look better on the floor. You should take it off and let the carpet wear it." He sat up and tugged Rachel's sweater and undershirt off at the same time revealing probably the sexiest thing he'd ever seen Rachel wear.
She sat up onto her knees and unzipped her skirt at the side letting it drop onto the bed. Finn swallowed hard as he took in all of the black lingerie his sexy girlfriend was wearing which honestly wasn't much. The black satin and bejeweled lace covered her cleavage and pulled together in the center of her torso to form a y-strip down to her lower abdomen and further down to cover her mostly bare skin. Thin black straps held the flimsy fabric together and Finn's eyes trailed from where the strap sat on Rachel's shoulders down over her chest which was pushed up rather nicely, over the lacy y and down to where his eyes stopped roaming and solely focused.
Finn wanted nothing more than to stick his face between Rachel's legs and tear away at the sheer fabric taunting him. Rachel pulled her skirt pooled around her knees away from her body and threw it on the floor then slid her hands over Finn's chest, pushing his back down onto the bed. She got on top of him and ran her hands up to his face and held his head while she kissed him deeply. Only when they both needed air did Rachel pull away.
She flipped her hair back and wiped her smudged lip gloss from her skin before smiling down at Finn. Teasingly Rachel rubbed herself against Finn's large erection, which had lost the Santa hat, eliciting a moan from him.
"Oh Rachel," he moaned out as her body grazed his throbbing length. He was totally ready and didn't want to wait anymore. Unfortunately there was a knock on the door right before it swung open.
"Finn, I'm going over to- AHH!" Kurt screeched, quickly shielding his eyes from the sight of a lingerie clad Rachel straddling a completely naked Finn. That was not something he needed to see. "Jesus! Haven't you heard of a lock?"
Finn threw a pillow at him hard as Rachel pulled at the sheets to cover them. "Get out of here will ya!" Finn barked at him.
"I'm just letting you know I'm going to Mercedes' and Mom and Dad are out shopping then are going to Aunt Mildred's and I put Pixie in her crate. By the way Rachel, even though it does nothing for me, I must say that black number you're wearing is quite hot. Good job! Now have your fun perverts," Kurt said with his eyes closed but giving two thumbs up. Though she was displeased with being walked in on by Kurt again, Rachel was glad to know her choice of negligee even made gay men think she looked hot.
"You're the pervert, pervert," Finn muttered at Kurt as he turned to leave the room, slamming into the wall as his eyes were still closed. Finally, he made it out the door and closed it behind him. "Seriously, have you met a bigger cock block?"
"Just forget about him and focus on me. We're all alone now and you're naked and I'm wearing something our parents would never approve of. So shut up and fuck me." Rachel threw the sheet off them and pulled the fabric of her barely-there teddy to the side so she could push herself down onto Finn and take him into her.
For the next few hours, Finn and Rachel ravished each other's bodies paying special attention to the things the other loved most. It was a combination of tender love making and furious fucking and by one pm the lovers were lying on Finn's floor, tangled in each other and his sheet content with the world. Rachel's satin and lace was torn to bits and strewn about the room while one of Finn's pillows was ripped in half spewing feathers everywhere. Most of the surfaces in Finn's room needed a deep cleaning and both Finn and Rachel needed a shower but neither really cared yet.
Rachel lifted her head to place her chin on Finn's chest. "This has been the best sex-iversary yet," she said dreamily. Finn lifted his head to look at her.
"Sex-iversary?" He raised an eyebrow at her. She licked her lips and nodded.
"We have to be able to distinguish it from our other anniversaries," she said as if it were obvious.
Finn was puzzled. "How many anniversaries do we have exactly?" They never celebrated any of them other than the big one in May, at least as far as Finn knew.
Rachel glanced away sheepishly. "Well, we don't have that many right now but someday we will. There'll be the anniversary of when we move in together finally, when you propose to me, our wedding anniversary, the anniversary of when we started dating again and of course birthdays and other holidays. Obviously those aren't called anniversaries but they are since they only happen once a year," she babbled. "We need to be able to tell all those apart. So I have dubbed this day our sex-iversary and if you make fun of me for it you can forget about celebrating it again next year."
"I'm not making fun. Just asking," Finn said raising his hands to show he wasn't interested in challenging her word. He put his hands back down and wrapped them around Rachel, pulling her up so her face was closer to his. "I love you. Thank you for coming over to celebrate our sex-iversary." Finn pulled her in for a deep kiss. Then his stomach growled.
"Hungry?" Rachel asked leaning up to look at him directly in the face.
"Starving. I haven't eaten anything all day…besides you," he quipped with a satisfied grin on his face. Rachel giggled and rolled off him, jumping up and standing over him. She put out her hands signaling she'd help him up and started pulling when he obliged. When they were both on their feet, Rachel threw Finn's sweatpants at him and started picking up her own clothes.
"You ruined another piece of new lingerie Finn," Rachel cried out when she realized just how tore up her teddy now was. "That was my favorite one."
"Mine too, that's why it's in pieces on the floor," Finn replied kissing Rachel on the cheek as he walked over to his dresser to grab a shirt.
"Well if you keep destroying my lingerie I'm just going to have to stop buying it."
"Well maybe this is a hint that you don't need to buy it since I'll take you no matter what you wear," Finn playfully replied before placing another kiss on Rachel's neck.
"Well maybe it's not just for you." Rachel looked at the floor shyly. "I feel sexy when I wear it and I like feeling sexy. Plus I like how your brain turns to mush when you stare at me for too long in it." Rachel finished zipping her skirt back up and looked at Finn.
"Rach, I've said it before and I'll say it again, you're sexy all the time. You don't need lingerie. I mean, it's fucking hot but unnecessary." He pulled her forward and kissed her lightly on the lips. His stomach grumbled once more and they both turned their attention toward it.
Rachel sighed. "Let's go find you some food Moan Man." She took his hand and pulled him out of his bedroom leaving behind the mess that clearly indicated that someone got very lucky multiple times. They shuffled downstairs to find that the house was still very empty and eerily quiet. "Go in the kitchen and pick something out. I'm going to check on Pixie."
In their heated passion both of them had forgotten about poor puppy Pixie. The tiny thing probably had to pee really bad if she didn't already relieve herself in the crate and needed to stretch and get out of there. Rachel approached the crate and noticed that something was off about it. When she got closer, she realized that the door was open and there was a severe lack of a puppy inside.
"Oh no," Rachel breathed out in panic. Frantically, she searched the immediate area thinking maybe Pixie had just escaped right before she got there. Of course no such luck. Rachel broadened the search to the rest of the living room, looking under chairs and the couch and behind the entertainment center. It appeared that Pixie was not in the living room.
When Rachel didn't come into the kitchen to fight with Finn over his choice of chicken fingers for lunch, he went into the living room to find her. A smug beam crossed his face when he found Rachel on all fours checking under the couch for something. He had never been happier to date a woman who wore mini-skirts without panties in the winter. Jovially, Finn sauntered over to Rachel's backside and slapped it playfully. Her head shot up as she rubbed the area Finn had slapped.
"Finn, that was uncalled for," she whined. Deciding Pixie wasn't in the living room she stood up and crossed her arms over her chest. "We have a problem."
"You're wearing clothes, got it. I can help with that." Finn started trying to unzip Rachel's skirt again but she kept him at bay.
"I'm serious Finn. Pixie isn't in her crate! I have no idea where she went!" Rachel was scared now. She figured the puppy still had to be in the house as no windows or doors were open but being so little there were so many places she could have crawled into and gotten herself stuck. Pixie was a tiny puppy living in a big human world and she could get hurt.
Now Finn looked nervous. He couldn't lose his mother's new dog after only one day of having her! They had to find her and fast before his mom got home. "Where do you think she could have gone?" he asked, furrowing his eyebrows and licking his lips.
"I don't know. We'll just have to search everywhere and hope we find her. Do you have any dog treats we can try coaxing her out with?"
Finn gripped Rachel's hand and tugged her along behind him to the kitchen. From a bottom cupboard Finn pulled out a box of little Scooby Snacks that he had bought for Pixie's first Christmas present.
"Aw, Finn, you do like little dogs!" Rachel squealed before throwing her arms around her boyfriend in a big hug.
"Whoa, I do not like little dogs. I just knew Burt was getting Pixie for my mom so I thought I'd get her some treats," he said prying Rachel from around his neck. They needed to find the damn dog before he could allow himself to have anymore sex-iversary celebrations even though all he really wanted was to bend Rachel over the counter and take her from behind while he watched himself slam into her supple body again and again then come all over…
Finn shook the sexy thoughts from his head before he started to get aroused. He handed Rachel some of the Scooby Snacks and told her to check the rest of the first floor while he checked the basement. They both doubted she'd be down there but better safe than finding a dead puppy in the basement and having to explain it to his heartbroken mother.
A half an hour later after scouring every area they believed she'd be able to get into, they came up empty handed. There was zero puppy and zero trace of a puppy. Finn and Rachel reconvened in the living room and sat down defeated on the couch to regroup.
"Jesus, she's a puppy not a ghost! Why can't we find her?" Finn grumbled as he threw his head back in exasperation.
Rachel shifted on the couch to look at him. "Clearly we're just not looking in the right spot. She has to be here somewhere, no doors were open for her to go out of and Kurt said he put her in her crate even if he didn't close the door properly." When this was all over she was going to mess up his perfectly coiffed 'do for causing her and Finn so much stress and worry.
"Do you think this is what it will be like when we have kids?" Finn said, turning to stare at Rachel.
"God I hope not. It's one thing to lose a puppy but quite another to lose a child. Plus children are bigger so they can't squeeze into as many places. I think we'll be fine. Why?" Rachel said pulling her brows together in concern.
"If we can't look after a puppy, how can we look after a baby?" This whole ordeal was making him reconsider ever wanting to have to care for another baby of any kind.
Rachel smiled sympathetically. "Finn, we're a long way off from children but when we do have them they'll be ours. We'll have a much stronger attachment to them than to a puppy you claim you don't even like, which we both know is a crock. Plus we'll be older and married. And hey, you helped me babysit the King kids! After what Anthony did and how well you handled that, I'm sure we'll be fine when it comes to our kids." She gripped his hand in reassurance then stood up. "We have a puppy to find. The only place we haven't checked is the upstairs. She's got to be up there. How she could get up there I'll never know…"
Finn swiveled his head in that direction then back. "Puppies are crafty. They get places you wouldn't expect. It probably took her a while but if she was determined enough she could do it."
Finn stood and followed Rachel upstairs. They knew Pixie wasn't in Finn's room as the door had been firmly shut the entire time they were in there and Kurt always had his door closed to keep everyone out of there so his room was out as well. That left the bathroom and his parents' room. It had to be one of those.
"Pixie, Pixie baby. Want a treat? I got a treat for you!" Rachel said in that annoying baby talk voice of hers. She shook the Scooby Snacks in her hand and crept down to look under Burt and Carole's bed. There was nothing there except shoes.
Finn searched the bathroom. "Come here you stupid little hotdog! This is not funny Pixie!" He threw back the shower curtain to find an empty shower. When both rooms were searched and they found nothing, Rachel and Finn were really stumped.
Rachel sat on Finn's bed as he paced his room, frenzied. He chewed on his thumb as he thought of how to break the news to his mother that he lost her dog inside their house.
"Finn you need to calm down. She is here somewhere, I know it. There is absolutely no way she could have gotten outside."
"Where is she then? She hasn't come to any of our calls, hasn't made a peep. Pixie disappeared without a trace inside the house!" he roared at Rachel. She momentarily thought that he'd look appropriate with steam coming from his ears.
"She's just a puppy. Pixie probably doesn't understand any words yet which would explain why she isn't coming when we call her name."
Finn growled. He just wanted the stupid dog to show any sign that she was still alive. In his anger he threw the Scooby Snacks in his hand at the wall. They bounced off the wall and clattered to the ground.
"Nice Finn," Rachel said sarcastically. "Do you want to start kicking furniture out your window as well?" She got off the bed to pick up the spilled treats. "Finn, we will find her. I won't leave this house until we do."
As Rachel looked down to pick up the last treat she noticed a teeny black nose pop out from the shadow under Finn's bed. It sniffed the air a few times before ducking back under the bed into the shadow once more.
"Uh, Finn," Rachel said quietly.
"What?" he asked sharply.
Rachel pointed down and under the bed. "I found her."
Finn got on the floor on the other side of his bed and looked underneath it. Toward the center of the mattress he could make out the shape of a wagging tail and a head moving back and forth pulling on something.
"Hey! Pixie, come here girl," he said waving one of Rachel's Scooby Snacks in the light beyond the mattress. Pixie stopped tugging on whatever she was tugging on and turned her head in Finn's direction.
Almost shyly she low crawled towards him, tentatively sniffing the air again. When she got close enough so Finn could grab her without chance of missing, he scooped her up and placed her on his bed. Rachel came up on the other side holding what she had been chewing on.
"She must not have gotten enough of you this morning," Rachel said giggling as she tossed the chewed up boxers at Finn. He caught them and observed the damage.
"Aw man. Pixie, these were my favorite Christmas boxers!" Finn griped as he stuck his hand through the hole in the crotch Pixie had made. She wagged her tail and yapped at him, basically laughing at him. "You think it's funny to eat my underwear huh? Well, see if this is so funny." Finn flicked her on the nose and she jolted at the sharp tap. "Come on Rach, let's put her in the crate and get back to our sex-iversary."
"Finn!" Rachel chastised. She picked Pixie up and rocked her in her arms like a baby. "Is Finn being a big meanie to you? I know, he's a big bully." Rachel glared at him.
"Seriously! She ate my favorite boxers and got in the way of sex!" he bellowed unbelievingly. Rachel was taking Pixie's side, so not fair.
"That's no reason to flick her face! She's just a puppy, she didn't know better. Now apologize to her." Rachel held Pixie out so she was in Finn's face.
"Are you serious right now? She's a dog! She doesn't know what I'm saying!"
"But I do! You will apologize to her or you can forget about the rest of our sex-iversary."
Damn Rachel's ability to use sex to get what she wanted. Either she was really smart or Finn was just stupid, or both.
Grudgingly Finn looked at the dog and deadpanned, "I'm sorry I flicked your nose." Pixie barked at him and rapidly beat her tail against Rachel's hand. Satisfied with Finn's lackluster apology, Rachel brought her back to her body and tickled her stomach, laughing at how she waved her little paws in the air. Finn pouted at the cute scene, a stab of jealousy hitting him.
I've hit bottom. I'm jealous of a dog, he thought to himself. He wanted to be the one Rachel was tickling right now and by tickling he meant having sex with. "Stupid dog," he muttered under his breath. His stomach grumbled again. "Rach, we still haven't had lunch yet."
Distracted by Pixie, Rachel waved Finn off. "Go make it yourself. You're a big boy." She continued petting the dog. "He's a big boy, yes he is! But you're a little girl. You're so cute!" Rachel said in that baby voice.
Alone and upset, Finn ambled downstairs, head down, to make himself some chicken fingers. He'd lost Rachel to a dog. Was there anything more humiliating?
A few minutes later as his chicken cooked, Finn turned around to find Rachel standing in the doorway of the kitchen. He looked away. "Where's your new friend?" he asked curtly.
"I took her outside for a walk and she's now securely in her crate. I will be having a word with Kurt when he returns home about his inability to lock a door."
Finn snorted. "He'll probably say that we have the same problem."
"Apparently we do since people seem to walk in on us all the time." Rachel moved behind Finn and slid her arms around his waist. She pressed her face against his back. "Finn, are you really jealous of a dog?" she asked picking up on the jealous vibe he was sending out.
He turned in her arms and shrugged. "No," he replied unconvincingly. Rachel cocked her brow at him. "Okay maybe a little."
"She's just a puppy. I promise you she won't swoop in and steal me away from you," Rachel teased.
"Could have fooled me with how you were acting."
"Finn, after everything we've been through it's going to take a lot more than some floppy ears and a cute little butt for me to leave you. So stop being jealous of Pixie and take your chicken off the stove because it's burning." Finn glanced at the stove and noticed the smoke rising from the skillet.
As Finn took care of not burning the house down with his awful cooking, Rachel opened the fridge and took out the hummus. She grabbed some pita chips from the cupboard and turned to Finn. "When you're done eating, feel free to take your jealous rage out on me." Rachel winked at him then left the kitchen to go back up to his room.
Barely even chewing, Finn stuffed the hot, burned chicken into his mouth then followed Rachel upstairs. He had a sex-iversary to get back to.
Fun Fact: My aunt's dog April has woken me the way Pixie woke up Finn. It is not fun having a dog stick their tongue in your mouth first thing in the morning...or ever.