I cradled in sheets of soft linen like a new born baby, waiting for the one I love to skip past. This place, the place in the house I loved the most when I was a child, you could see all, hear all – not that there was ever anything to see or hear. It had barely changed in the past 30 years, still so warm, soft, still somewhere my mother couldn't find me, somewhere the world wouldn't try to impose on me, somewhere the things I was most afraid of would just disappear. I'd always been a big boy, never afraid of the dark, the moon-like shine that glowed upon the sheets, blue, silver, seeping forth through the cracks, my best friends, the lost shards of the noon day sun. I wanted to crawl between the layers and snuggle in their warmth for a moment, 8 again, adrenaline kicking, closing my eyes and waiting for the excited cry of "Ready or not, here comes spot!" from my brother's mouth, followed by my mother's "Not in the linen cupboard! That's where the house elves and scum go!"

And then I open them once more. 35. He's dead. Naive friend, turned stuck-up adolescent, turned villain, turned unfortunate hero.

I sank further into the cloth to think, fingering the lace that dangled from a table cloth next to my head and keeping an ear out for Remus.

Hours past in the black, or at least what felt like hours, before the quiet, clumsy footsteps of my fiancée came pattering up the stairs, paired with the low muttering that accompanied him when he was divulged in thought.

I slid from the cupboard, ensnaring him in my arms and growling in his ear as I pulled him back in with me. "I've been waiting, Rems..."

My arms released and he spun to face me, a quaint little smirk playing on his lips. "We're you waiting for me this whole time?"

I momentarily switched back to my child self, nodding frantically, as if showing off to a parent.

"But what if you'd got it wrong and grabbed someone else? What if you'd grabbed Molly? She'd have your guts for garters..."

I laughed and held him around the waist, warming myself to his touch. "I'd rather I didn't have that image in my head, Rems. And besides, we've been together for an age, do you think there would be any chance I wouldn't know it was you? There was effectively a sign floating above you head."

He moved into me, returning the embrace, receiving a kiss, unchanging, a taste savoured by time, preserved by the undying love that pulsed through our every vein, like a form of wonderful formaldehyde. I let my hands run free, absorb every part of him I could, slyly making their fine way up his shirt. His lips pulled from mine, leaving my entirety longing for more.

"Sirius, where's this going?"

"Everywhere..." I hissed, crawling to continue where we'd just left off, watching him force the gap between us bigger and bigger.

"But what if everyone below hears us?"

"It's my house. If they don't like it, so be it, they can leave."

Remus staggered from the cupboard, thoroughly disorientated and looking like he'd been struck by lightning which sequentially had rolled him inside out to return him back to normal before having his shirt take off and done back up by chimpanzees. Merlin, my fiancée had such grace and charm. I unlike him, waited for a bit so, one, people didn't get suspicious and, two, I could come down looking almost like a respectable citizen.

I steadily made my way down to the first floor, progressively growing more aware of the people below me, conversing in hushed voices as if someone had said something of the utmost interest. Surely, Snivellus' report couldn't have been that interesting. I mean... he was a boring troll.

Mad-eye limped from the lounge, Remus pacing inside, as I came to the hallway, receiving a half hearted nod behind him. I pranced over to him, snatching his waist and dragging him into an overly fiery kiss, considering we'd had sex less than 10 minutes earlier. His arms flung up to my face, prying by lips from his, and giving me a deathly look, as if the world as we knew it had just ended.

"Sirius, they know. Everyone, they know about us. Not much, but enough to make a difference. I think we're just gonna need to come clean and tell them everything."

I stopped for a moment, placing my hand on his chest where the piece of gold resided beneath his shirt. "We're going to be wanting this then, aren't we?"

I removed the ring from the chord and placed it in his palm, watching that beautiful smile of his play itself in the depths of blue, making its way across his face. He grabbed me by the arm and dragged me into the dining room, into the prying eyes of the world, wriggling their way beneath my skin. We stood there for what seemed like an age, locked together, being looked a like some kind of dish served at a wedding, before they cracked me. It was better to get it over and done with than having it hanging in the wakes for the rest of eternity.

I took a deep breath and stared into the crowd of painfully familiar faces. "Ok... so we... don't swing the same way as you guys... erm... we're engaged... so sort of going to get married... sometime... and..." Shit. I didn't have another 'and'. Think, Sirius, use that wonderful little mind of yours. "And we're thinking of adopting... a child..."

Remus flashed me the most disturbed look in the history of man and yanked me as quickly as possible back into the hall.

"What the hell are you playing at?" He hissed through gritted teeth. "We're on the brink of a war, in the worst possible situation, and you want to bring a child into it?"

I grinned. Fuck, I messed up again. Act casual... make it up as you go along and maybe he won't slap you. "What I think... is that there's maybe a child out there... magical or not... who'd want to have us as parents... We could protect them, I'm pretty sure this place is shielded against everything – there isn't a nuclear blast out that could knock down my dad's defences."

He rolled his eyes, bubbling over. "And what would happen if one of us dies? What would happen if you get whisked back to Azkaban, hmm? I'm a fucking werewolf – can't look after a kid all by myself. Or are you a fuck whit?"

I turned from him trying to work my next strategy... though, it sort of hurt, hearing those words, know he didn't want a child with me, a child with the person he was said to love most in the world. "So... you don't want... Merlin, I'm a dumb ass!"

He sighed, wrapping the caring arms of an angel around my form and placing a sweet kiss on my forehead. "Oh, Siri, I do, I do... I'm just trying to be realistic... The thing I want the most in the world is a family with you... just not now... I'm sorry..."