A/N: New Chappie! I know that you're anxious to find out what happens. Let's just say, this chapter will shatter your heart.
Char Bios:
Riku's Mother: Age-27. A kind and sensitive soul, she had Riku when she was 17. Working during the day, and going to college at night, she rarely sees her child, or husband. Doesn't know much about Riku. Is away on business trips a lot. As a young girl, Riku's mom always dreamed of being a mother, but couldnt really take care of her child when her career took off.
I decided to skip the rest of the school day. It's not like I could care less. My mom was gonna know all about my abusive step-dad and then I'll be able to live without fearing for my life every time I heard the door close. My house wasn't too far away from school, thankfully. It made for a quick escape when I needed Zexion's care or if I was running late.
Going around through the back, I had to hop the fence and jimmy open the screen door, which by the way, hurt like hell. The inside and front of the house always looked picture perfect. Happy pictures of a smiling family, clean everything. The scene reminded me of a staged house. You know when the owners are inticing you to buy their home, and they set it up all nice and pretty to try and show you what you want. I remember when my mom had came into this house when we first moved to the dark and rainy part of Twilight Town.
She had been giddy, just looking at the clean cooble stone walkway. The siding had been painted a baby blue, alike to the rest of the houses in the town. My step-dad was talking to the realtor, while I followed Mom in. She was pointing out things that made for a good home.
"Remember, Riku. A good house gives you that home feeling. Ohh! I love that bay window!" Mom pulled me along and sat down on the window, patting the seat next to her. "This house is giving me good vibes." She said, smiling. It was obvious she was in love with the house.
The first night of living in the house, Mom had set a fire, made popcorn, and had curled up next to her husband watching the new flat screen tv. I was peering out of the kitchen, knowing that I was supposed to be in bed. After a few silent minutes, Mom had gotten up and started for the kitchen, seeing me.
"Hey baby. Would you like Mama to read you a story before bed?" She asked. I wanted to do the whole 'Mom! I'm 12. I dont need any bed time stories.' type of thing. Since I barely get to spend time with her, I just nodded and went over to the window, curling up with a fleece blanket around me. My step-father glared at me, giving me silent messages of 'you're bedtime was two hours ago.' I stuck my tongue out at him, and snuggled up next to my mom, and fell asleep with her reading to me.
The happy memory of that night brought a small smile to my lips. It's been a while since I smiled. Practically since my mom got married to the devil spawn and we moved here. I didnt have a whole lot to be happy about. Except for the few times that Xion or her brothers wheezled one out of me, I kept a poker face the entire time.
Before doing anything, I walked into the living room and picked up a photo of my mom, beautiful with her long silver hair, and bright aquamarine eyes. Made even more beautiful with the silken white wedding dress, and boquet of flowers. I held it close to my chest, holding back the strange twinge in my chest. Whenever I thought of my mom, I always felt like I would never see her again. It was strange really. Putting the photo back, and walking into the kitchen, I clutched my stomach. I hadn't had food in the last few days. My head got light, and my vision blurred. If I didnt eat now, then I would collapse in hunger. The fridge was quite empty. The cupboards held little, but I managed to find a few packages of chicken Top Ramen.
As the water and noodles were boiling, I pulled out my phone and reread the message from my mom. She was coming home. I felt my heartbeat pulsing through my back, feeling it beat a little faster than it normally did. Thinking about my mother did that. With her always working and gone from the house, I starved for her attention. I turned to cutting and abusing of my body. Lack of food and sleep, over working of my muscles... I had to shake my head to avoid indulging on the dark memories.
After about an hour, I had eaten, showered and rebandaged my back. There still was a dull ache, so I took some more pain killers. I walked into my room, and immediately saw the dried pool of blood. 'Right...' I thought, forgetting about the mess in my room. I felt a little conflicted. Should I clean up the mess, or leave it, so my mom can see? Either way, the smell was staring to give me a headache. With a few clicks of my camera, and an half an hour later, I had the mess as cleaned up as I could. I was lucky that the carpet was black.
'Riku, it's Xion. Are you okay? I didnt see you in class, and I wanted to make sure you're okay. Zexion said, you went home. I just wanna make sure you're okay.' The vibration of my phone brought me back from the time block I was in. The clock had said about 3pm. It was after school already.
'Yeah, I'm fine. I found out my mom was coming home from a business trip, and wanted to have the house cleaned up before she got here.' I typed back, having to retype it a few times. The stupid touch screen phone I had hated me, I swear. I would try and say one thing, but it would say something different. I dont blame it though. My step-dad had thrown it against my head a few dozen times in anger, saying I 'went over my text limit.' Clearly he was making excuses to hit me. I had unlimited texting, calling and data. To be honest, I rarely used my phone. I used my laptop more, skyping Xion and Zexion, and occasion Mom when she was free.
'That's great! :) I hope everything goes well! Oh, by the way... Riku I would like to speak to you in private tomorrow. It's about that shirt that Zexion was hiding in the usual place this morning.' I froze reading the text. She was on to me, and could probably know my secret. Today was just getting worse. Walking downstairs, I sensed something was off. Mom had said she was going to be home when I got home from school. If I didnt hang out at the place with Zexion and Xion, I would get home about 2:45pm. Since school got out at 2:30pm, I would usually trudge home, or hang out with my friends. I decided to call Mom, just in case something had gone bad.
"Hey, baby. How are you?" My mom answered on the first ring, all joy in her voice.
"I'm okay. Happy that you're coming home." I sat down on my bed, smiling a little.
"That's great! Im actually on my way now. The plane had a little delay and got us out late. I wanted to be there before you walked in the door-"
"That's okay mom, really. I cant wait to see you again." To be honest I'm a little scared too. I couldnt help thinking, while I played with the upper ear piercing that I got a while ago. No one really knows about it, except Xion and Zexion. I got it when Zexion had gotten his snake bites in.
"I cant wait either, Riku! I miss you so much."
"I miss you too."
"Alright baby. I've got to g-AAAHHHH!" My eyes widened. Her blood-currdling scream hurt my ears, but I couldn't take the phone away from my ear, instead pressing it closer.
"Mom?! MOM?!" I felt my breath coming in faster and faster. There was a huge crashing and screeching sound on her end of the line, and for some reason, after a few minutes of chaos, there was a panting.
"Mom?" I asked, feeling my heart shrink. What was going on? Car crash? Was my mom injured? I closed my eyes, trying to see her face.
"Riku... Listen. I love you..." Mom's voice was hushed and painful. My senses went on high alert.
"I love you too Mom..."
"Riku... I'm not gonna make it... But baby... know that I'll always be with you." My heart seemed like it jumped into my throat. Everything came into focus. There was a car crash, and my mom was dying. Something inside me was slowly dying with her.
"Mom... Don't die, please..." Tears somehow squeezed themselves out of my closed eyes. Oh how I wished I was there with her. I wouldn't care if I was dying alongside her, as long as I got to see her one last time. Now she was dying a sudden death, and I was miles away, clutching to the phone like it was a lifeline.
"I'm sorry... I... Love... You... Riku..." Mom whispered, as the last breath exited her. I started to shake, and before I knew it, I was in a fetal position, crying on my bed. My mom had just died, while on the way to see me. I felt like everything inside of me had died. There was nothing for me now. Nothing to live for. Sure, I would miss Zexion and Xion. The only two people who mattered, who cared. Life itself was starting to become clear. I knew that there was nothing for me, and that there was only one thing left to do.
Suicide.
I had to do it. I wanted, no I NEEDED to see my mom. I needed to kill myself. Wiping the tears away, I got up and went to my backpack, rummaging through it. I pulled out a piece of paper and a pencil, and began to write.
Zexion and Xion.
I wish there was a way to tell you guys how much you mean to me, but I can't figure them out. Just know that I wish the best for each of you. There is a few things I need to get off my chest though.
Zexion. You are the bestest friend I've ever had. If it weren't for you, I would have never gotten through the tough times. I really apprieciate everything that you've done for me, and Xion. If it wasn't for you, I would have killed myself years ago. Thanks for everything...
Xion. This is going to be tough for the both of us. For me, because I didnt intend on telling you this, this way. I love you. I have since I met you. You're smart, pretty and the only one (besides Zexion) that ever has cared about what I thought or felt. I wish I at least could have told you, or done something about it before, but I didnt. If I didn't go through what I did in the past, then maybe I would have opened up and told you. Me and Zexion have kept a few things from you, and I'm sorry about that. Xion, my stepfather abuses me. I didnt want to tell you, because I thought I was able to handle the pain and I didnt want you to feel pity or anything for me. I could never bring myself to see your beautiful light be extingished by my darkness.
You may be wondering why you're finding all this out about me... If you already know, then I'm still sorry. I've decided that I can't handle this pain and suffering any longer. My mother had died, in a car crash. I dont know the specifics of the crash, but I do know that she died while on the phone talking to me. My heart shattered when I heard her draw her last breath. I cant deal with this anymore. That's why I've decided to commit suicide. You know where Lovers Leap is? That's where I'll be spending my last few moments. It's special to me because my mom had taken me there on my first day here. We had a picnic, and watched the waved crash violently against the rocky shore. She had told me the story of why it was called Lovers Leap. It slightly pains me that I wont be leaping with my lover, but because of my mother. I love her and you guys. I wish for the best, and I'm sorry that this ever had to happen.
Riku.
I noticed I was crying while writing this, seeing the small wet rings on the paper. Reading over my note, I sniffed, and wiped away the tears with the ridge of my black long sleeved shirt. From a distance, the Station Plaza's bells rang. It was 4pm. Time was staring to mean nothing to me. Why should it? I've already decided that I was gonna kill myself. Things around me started to pick up. The sky turned from a mind rain, to a full out storm. Everything had an eeiry shadow to it. I didnt want to do anything, until midnight, when I decided to jump.
xXx
My stepdad hadnt come home. I'm sure that he had learned about the death of his wife and had gotten drunk. That was fine by me. I rather not see his puffy red face, black beady eyes burning holes in my soul everytime he looked at me. I watched as the clock on my wall chime 11pm. The music of one of my favorite bands, Fall Out Boy, drowned out the rain, thunder and lightning. Knowing that my time was wasting, I got up. Methodically I changed into my favorite clothing.
A whiteish gray hoodie with some strange black markings, over a Falling in Reverse band tee. Light gray-blue jeans with a spiked belt, and the white with black and red marking sneakers, Zexion had gotten me for my birthday last year. Adding my big noise-cancelling headphones, phone, mp3, and the note. I was ready.
xXx
The trek from my home to Lovers Leap across the darker region of Twilight Town took most of my hour. I was tempted to stop by the usual place to drop the note off, but then I wouldn't make my midnight mark. I glanced around before I got to the graveyard, making sure no one was watching, and made my way past the rows of dead people. It was strange to walk through the graveyard, knowing that I would be dead in about ten minutes.
I cranked up the volume, sending The Phoenix by Fall Out Boy through my head. When I first heard the song, I was addicted to it, listening to it on repeat. By the tenth time, I knew the lyrics and the meaning behind it. To be honest, it's not really a suicide song, but the music video is addicting, and I just love this song.
Put on your war paint.
You are the brick tied to me that's dragging me down.
Strike a match and I'll burn you to the ground.
We are the Jack-o-lanterns in July.
Setting fire to the sky.
Here, here comes this rising tide, so come on.
The edge of the graveyard was almost upon me, and I could see the edge of the cliff. A old tree stood slightly to the side, over watching the dark ocean. The story my mom had told me when we had picniced here, came to mind.
"Riku, theres an old story to this cliff. It's called Lovers Leap."
"Why's it called that?" I asked, taking a bite out of my sandwhich. It was grilled cheese, with turkey bacon. Mom had an identical sandwhich on her plate. She looked out to the horizon and let the cool watery breeze flow through her hair.
"A long time ago, there was a young and beautiful lady named Nikkio. She had many admirers but never sought out their love."
"Mom! Please tell me this isnt some romance story." I gagged, coughing out the sandwhich. Mom laughed.
"It is partially. Anyway, a man had been passing by when he saw Nikkio and her beauty. Immediantly he fell in love, but couldnt figure out how to express his love. Nikkio worked as a serving girl in a tavern. One night, the man -his name was Amu- had stopped by the tavern and had Nikkio has his waitress. He flirted with her, and surprising to him, she flirted back. Over the course of a night, Amu and Nikkio had planned to wed, and run away together."
"A night?! That's not possible, is it? For someone to fall in love?"
"It is, but it's a story sweetie... Anyways, when Nikkio's father found out, he cancled the wedding, and had forbidden his daughter to see Amu. Later on that week, Amu and Nikkio had met at this cliff, and vowed that if they couldnt be seen together, that they wouldnt live. Then they jumped."
"Wow... A little dramatic, much?" I asked, finishing off my sandwhich.
"It is, but," Mom reached over and poked my belly. "When you find the one you cant live without, you would do anything to protect them."
Put on you war paint.
Cross walks and crossed hearts and hope-to-dies.
Silver clouds with grey linings.
So we can take the world back from heart attack.
One maniac at a time, we will take it back.
You know time crawls on when you're waiting for the song to start.
So dance alone to the beat of your heart.
The wind had picked up as I stepped up to the ledge. My heart was beating fast, having at least two beats per one hit of the drums. I couldn't help but think that my mom was watching me. Surely she would go to heaven. Me, I dont know if I'm heaven material.
(Chorus) Hey young blood.
Doesnt it feel like our time is running out?
I'm gonna change you like a remix.
Then I'll raise you like a phoenix.
Wearing our vintage misery.
No, I think it looked a little better on me.
I'm gonna change you like a remix.
Then I'll raise you like a phoenix.
Time slowed as the song continued. I took deep and slow breathes, calming myself. The worst thing to do in this situation is panic. The cliff underneath me rolled down, in a steep incline. So if I jumped, I would fall, only to be caught by the natural hill and stumble, hitting the rocks and finally landing at the rocky edge.
Bring home the boys and scrap scrap metal the tanks.
Get hitched, make a career out of robbing banks.
Because the world is just a teller and we are wearing black masks.
"You broke our spirit," says the note we pass.
So we can take the world back from heart attack.
One maniac at a time, we will take it back.
You know time crawls on when you're waiting for the song to start.
So dance to the beat of your heart.
I closed my eyes, imagining my mother's face, along with Zexion and Xion's. The only people who cared about me. My mother, beautiful in her silk wedding dress. Zexion, smart and wise beyond all his years. Finally, Xion. The girl who I've loved. The beautiful girl who was outcasted from her popular brothers. The girl who starved herself, knowing that it beat the loneliness. Xion, Zexion, Mom. My real family, my beloved friends and mother.
Hey young blood.
Doesnt it feel like our time is running out?
I'm gonna change you like a remix.
Then I'll raise you like a phoenix.
Wearing our vintage misery.
No, I think it looked a little better on me.
I'm gonna change you like a remix.
Then I'll raise you like a phoenix.
Put on your war paint.
I checked the time. A few minutes from midnight. A few minutes before the song ended. Everything was falling into place.
The war is won,
Before it's begun.
Release the doves,
Surrender love. (x4)
(Wave the white flag!)
Hey young blood.
Doesnt it feel like our time is running out?
I'm gonna change you like a remix.
Then I'll raise you like a phoenix.
Wearing our vintage misery.
No, I think it looked a little better on me.
I'm gonna change you like a remix.
Then I'll raise you like a phoenix.
The time and song was coming to it's end. I at least wanted to say goodbye to everyone before I died.
Goodbye Mom, Zexion and Xion. I will miss you.
Hey young blood.
Doesnt it feel like our time is running out?
I'm gonna change you like a remix.
Then I'll raise you like a phoenix.
Put on your war paint.
At the end of the song, Patrick Stump snapped his fingers, and that was my que to jump.
"Goodbye..."
Lines from the next chapter: The Phoenix.
"RIKU!"
"Namine?... Why am I alive?"
"If you expect me to believe that bold faced lie, then you don't know me."
A/N: T.T. Sad, I know, but it had to be done. If you guys haven't heard the song The Phoenix by Fall Out Boy, then youtube it RIGHT NOW! Or even better, play the sing, and reread from the last xXx. It makes sense if you listen and read. I love that song, it's my fave.
Anyways, I think you guys noticed, I never gave Riku's mom a name. I did that because I never thought of a good one, and Riku always refers to her as mom.
How about a little game? If anyone who reads this story, can figure out WHY I chose the song The Phoenix by Fall Out Boy (besides the fact that it's my favorite song and band, and I love Patrick Stump and Pete Wentz), will get a story written by me, featuring their favorite ship/pairing. Oh, and just fyi: I don't judge on ships. If I were, I'd judge myself for accidently shipping AxelxRiku (LONG story to that one, but it's a good ship). So if you can figure that out, I'll write that story. (And it wont matter to me if you want them to do the dance with no pants, I'll do it.)
Special Thanks to:
.com: for reading and helping me through this. I REALLY apprieciate the help and thoughtful advice. Especially since this fanfic seems so sad.
Animegurl0130: Thank you sis. It makes my heart swell that you still are willing to tell me your real pov.
Any of my readers. I may not be very popular, or the best writer, but I love the fact that people read my stuff and fave it, because I put a lot of thought and effort into my stories and/or characters (even IF they aren't my own characters)
Well, I'm Sazha, signing off. Remember, be watching for Chapter 3: The Phoenix, and please listen to The Phoenix by Fall Out Boy. It's a great song, written by a great band. -VFD