Chapter 4 - Forbidden Temptations

DISCLAIMER: ANYTHING YOU RECOGNISE, I DO NOT OWN :)

Days, weeks, and months passed, while autumn slowly turned to winter. The golden leaves that flooded the protruding roots of the trees turned into spindly skeletons, and the winds grew colder and harsher (It was already pretty cold – this is Scotland!) I think Remus finally got the message that I didn't want to talk to him. Every time i'd see him around the castle he'd lower his head and scurry off. When i'd enter the common room and he was in there, he'd just get up and leave for his dormitory.

I mean, as much as I take pleasure in not having to look into those gorgeous chocolate brown eyes that I could just melt into... Wait, what was that? Did I just... swoon over Remus Lupin? No, surely not... anyway, where was I? Oh yes. As much as take pleasure in not having to feel guilty every time I see him, I do feel slightly bad. After all, it's not his fault that my dad ruined his life and I didn't do anything to stop him. You're right. It's my fault. No, how can it be my fault? How could a 7 year old girl have taken on a fully grown professional werewolf?! Hmph. I have to stop beating myself up about this. Remus is a perfectly good guy and I'm horrible to him all the time!

These were the thoughts running through my head as I walked down to the Quidditch Pitch with Lily. She had managed to drag me outside in the dark, cold and damp one evening in November. And when I asked why,

"Well, the team is getting ready for the big match against Hufflepuff, right? And, well, I think it would be quite educational to watch how they practice because, err I see myself being some kind of leader someday, you see? So I wanted to pick up a few leadership skills while watching. Plus, why not take a nice stroll when the weather's this nice?'

And with almost comical timing, the heavens opened and it started pouring down with rain. I put up the hood on my jumper while Lily ran ahead with her hands over her head. "Come on!" She shouted. I rolled my eyes and followed, being cautious not to slip on the freshly churned mud that Lily left in her wake.

We finally made it to the pitch and took our seats on the sobbing wet stone stands. I looked at Lily, only to see her staring at something intensely. I followed her gaze and gasped. She was looking dreamily towards someone. Someone who was riding around the pitch in a victory lap after scoring a brilliant goal. Someone who looked an awful lot like...

"James! You fancy James!" I practically screamed in her face. Her cheeks burned to almost the same colour as her hair as she furiously denied it. "What? No I don't! That would be... ridiculous! He's just so... annoying!" Annoying my arse. She's madly in love with him. I can just tell. She started blathering on about how she could "never fancy him because she swore she wouldn't in third year" and then blatantly changed the subject by saying "Oh look! There's Remus! Hi Remus!" She's got it bad! She must really love hi...Did she say Remus? Oh God...

Before I could say "Stop", she was running over to him on the other side of the pitch. She took a seat next to him, and from what I saw, struck up a conversation. Then they both stood up, and started walking towards me. Oh Merlin. Drat. Blast. Bugger. Arghhhhhhhhh!

"Hi Harriet" Remus said. His sandy blonde hair was swept to one side and he really did look pretty hot... No! I just did it again! Why am I finding him so god damn attractive all of a sudden?

"Hullo Remus" I muttered, keeping my head down. Getting dragged into those pretty little eyes was the last thing I wanted to do.

The two of them sat down. Lily on my left, Remus on the left of her. We sat in an awkward silence for a while, before Quidditch practice finished and the team went to get changed. Lily immediately stood, said something about "congratulating the team on a great practice" (obviously just an excuse to see James half naked) and scurried off, leaving Remus and I. I heard him about to say something so I got up and started heading back to the castle. He ran to join me, just walking by my side. We had just got to the Stone Circle, when he opened his mouth.

"Why do you hate me so much?"

I visibly cringed. I couldn't tell him. That would mean disaster. So I decided, as much as it pained me, to play along. "I don't hate you."

"Then why are you always having a go at me? What did I ever do to you?"

We had stopped walking at this point. I stared at my feet, but I could feel his eyes on me. I decided to keep my mouth shut. "You became a werewolf." What? I thought I was keeping my mouth shut?!

"Wh...what?" His face had a look of pure shock plastered on to it. "How do you know that?" He spluttered.

"Because..." I couldn't tell him. At least not now. He would hate me for sure. "It's fairly obvious! You're always..." Think of excuses, think of excuses... "Out at full moon! And really tired afterwards! And you're never there for the Defence Against the Dark Arts lessons about werewolves! And... and those bloody great big scars on your face!" I could tell I was hurting him. I could see it in his eyes. I'm a terrible person.

I paused. " Listen Remus, you're a really really great guy, but I can't go out with you."

"Woah!" Remus interjected, "Who said anything about going out?"

Damn. He's right. Which means I was thinking about it. Which means... Oh My God! I fancy Remus! Oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no! This can't happen! It's forbidden! It's taboo! It's... so bloody tempting. It finally clicked. He fancies me! That's why he was always so desperate to talk to me, and help me, and why he always looked so upset when I knocked him down. He must have realised what I was thinking because he smiled and said "Do you want to go to James's Christmas Party with me?"

James Potter's Annual Christmas Party. The most important event on the social calendar. So important, that each word in its title had its own capital letter. And Remus, the guy who was made a werewolf by my own dad, was asking me to go with him. I couldn't. I wouldn't.

"Okay." I did. My mouth is seriously out of synch with my mind. So before he had chance to confirm, I hurried off back towards the castle, leaving a stunned, confused, overjoyed Remus behind me.