Chapter 14: Let it out

Author's Note: This chapter contains some hurt. Nothing too much I didn't want to sit here and cry while I wrote it so its not that bad. If it was trust me I would have been crying. This chapter is inspired by Let it out by Miho Fukuhara. It would be nice to listen to the song so you can get the feel of it but it's totally up to you

Here it is btw I do not own MGLN

It's hard to act brave all the time, to deny yourself that moment of weakness. So let me, be that person you can turn to.

Let me be that shoulder you lean your head on. When you feel like crying just Let it all out and I will be there waiting you don't need to be brave all the time.

I finished talking to Hayate a few minutes ago. I needed to sort out my feeling and how to handle this situation.

I admit I fell in love with Nanoha. There is no denying that. However I know Nanoha doesn't love me or rather she is incapable of loving back. From the moment I saw her smile despite how bitter it was I wanted to be the one who stood beside her. I wanted to be the one she can count on. And that is exactly what I plan on doing.

'But how'

How do I break through to her. Do I continue with my teasing. Or My stupid antics that seem to set her off. I'm just not sure. Do I act like a simple friend. If I come off the wrong way she might just close me off for good this time.

'Ughh so damn confusing'

I think I spent enough time out here. Hayate was on her way to explain things to Nanoha's mother. The topic was Nanoha of course but especially the plan on me to help her. Hayate told me that Nanoha's mother was the first to suspect that she might have been raped. But every time she tried to help, Nanoha would take two steps back to the point Nanoha shut herself off from her mom

Her mom was suffering with the guilt of not being able to help. To know that your daughter is suffering and you can do absolutely nothing to help. I can't even try to understand what her mom is going through. But right now I'm all they have

'These people are all counting on me and I couldn't even protect one person before'

My mind was going to the gutter and quick. To avoid further memories, I wheeled myself to the door and knocked.

[Knock Knock]

No reply

I figured she was asleep so I opened the door.

That's when I heard it she was crying and crying hard

'Nanoha'

"Nanoha-chan"

'That voice is so familiar'

She immediately stopped crying. I turned around to see blond hair move behind the wall. Seeing as Nanoha stopped crying I knew whoever it was she was scared of it. Her face look terrified

I wheeled myself inside the door and locked it immediately.

I didn't say anything but she began to cry again

'This can't continue come on Testarossa get a grip'

'It's do or die'

"I'm here" I said but the crying only got harder

'Dammit maybe I shouldn't have said that'

I gathered all my strength and lifted myself off the wheel chair.

'This is going to hurt like shit later on'

I climbed onto the bed. She was laying down her back facing me. She was clutching onto a pillow.

'Here we go'

"Nanoha" I leaned over her shoulder trying to get a look at her face

"Go away" her voice was hoarse and weak. I wanted to hug her and that's exactly what I did.

"You're not alone" she tensed up and squirmed in my embrace

"Get off me" she ripped out of my hug.

'To direct maybe?

The bed was in the corner of the room against one of the walls. So when she broke my hug she leaned against the wall hugging onto the pillow for dear life.

"I won't hurt you"

I moved closer to her very slowly

"N-no don't come near me"

'What changed before I stepped outside? She almost let me kiss her then but now I can't even touch her''

She looked petrified of me. Almost as if I was the rapist.

"Let me help you"

"I d-don't need it"

"Clearly you don't"

'Maybe being sarcastic will help you never know till you try'

"Get out"

'Well I was wrong Strike 1 but at least she is back to the devil she is"

"Look I don't have time for your games"

I decided best way to get through to her was to push back.

"Well I'm sorry for ruining your oh so great life"

'Now you want to be sarcastic huh'

"You don't even know my life" I yelled

"And you don't know mine either!"

'She was yelling now. The crying had stopped. 'Maybe one more push and I can get through to her'

"So how bout you fill me in Princess" I said with a teasing tone.

'Got her.' Her face was filled with rage. 'I can ask for forgiveness later'

"What kind of princess you know gets Raped!"

"The princess right in front of me"

It was like it hit her like a ton of bricks. She cried because of the words that just came out of her mouth. It was if she had just been rape and came to terms with it now. And that's exactly what happened. After years of trying to ignore it, all the bottle up pain flooded down on her now. Her eyes could no longer hold back the tears.

"Your a beautiful young girl Nanoha. What happened in you past is horrible but that doesn't make you any less of a person than you are now."

"B-b-but"

"No buts, the person who did this to you is a horrible human being who doesn't deserve the right to live. But you have down nothing wrong."

"I-if I was-"

"No don't blame yourself Nanoha "I moved to caress her cheek" You wouldn't have known that was going to happen."

I looked her in the eyes. Her eyes said it all. They were filled with grief, hate and regret. She was feeling all these emotions. She hated herself for what happened for so long. It was hurting me to see that in her eyes.

"After all these years you tried to play it off. Like some sort of dream and nightmare. Believing if no one knew she could just ignore it. It wasn't a hard thing to understand I knew the feeling very well. But as a result her behavior changed due to her trauma. You were breaking down and for some reason I was the one to break you.

I moved to hug her stroking her hair. Surprisingly she hugged me back twice as hard. She hugged me almost as if she was afraid that I would disappear if she let go.

"Just let it out I'm here and I'm not going anywhere"

"T-thank y-you. It means a lot to me"

"Of course" '

'I just wish you loved me back that's all'

A/N: Well there you have it. Like it? Well I thought I could do better I just didn't know how to you know. The next chapter will reveal why Fate has such a control on her. I bet none of you have seen this coming. Trust me I didn't even see it. Well that's a lie.

Hope you like the next chapter