I'm dead!
J: Well that was a hard chapter.
Of course! I have to go on the internet looking for suitable idioms, etc...
J: Well. Roze Hime-sama does not own IE or any of its characters. They all belong to Level-5.
Here's the final chapter! Thanks for all your support until now~ Enjoy!
Literally Ch.6
"Wait, Sain!" Endou said. "What happened to the literal side of that idiom?"
Sain scratched his head. "Something about donkeys? Maybe the sphere is weakening."
"Well, someone please stop him!" wailed Minamisawa, who was still a cucumber.
"Senpai…" Kurama smirked. "You're looking green."
"Ah!" Minamisawa made a grab for Kurama's neck.
"Hey! Stop it!" Kurama said.
"Keep your hair on!" Midorikawa said to Kurama.
"Help me!" Kurama's, um, hair started floating off his head. He was losing hair rapidly, and was nearly bald in no time. His hair regrouped itself and floated away in a group, all the way keeping Kurama's hairstyle.
"Mommy, there's flying hair in the sky!" They heard a little boy say.
"Don't be silly." The boy's mother tugged the boy away.
"Midorikawa-san!" Kurama patted his head. "I'm completely bald now!"
"Yeah!" Midorikawa sang. "You're as bald as a baby's backside!"
"Get it off me!" Kurama scrabbled at his head. A baby's, ahem, backside was seemingly stuck on the top of Kurama's head.
"You know, you seem like a pervert now, with a baby's butt on your head." Minamisawa was laughing hard.
"Shut up!" Kurama yelled.
"Mmphhh!" Minamisawa's mouth was instantly sealed.
"Ha, gotcha there!" Midorikawa was about to say more, but something popped up in front of his mouth. "What on earth…?!"
"Hee-haw, hee-haw!" A donkey said. "Hee-haw, hee-haw!" With a boom, its hind legs popped off, startling Tenma, who leapt away from it.
"Okay…" Deasta said. "Now that was unexpected."
"The donkey's late. It means that the sphere is losing power," explained Sain. He looked at Deasta. "Did you bring the net?"
"I think that I have it somewhere…" Deasta fished around in his pocket. "Here!" he handed out a mass of gold to Sain.
"Stop speaking nonsense, Midorikawa!" Endou pleaded.
"Nope! I enjoy hanging noodles on your ears." Midorikawa replied.
"Eww!" Endou tried to flick the sticky noodles that had appeared on his ears. "They're sticky and slimy!"
"Come on, we have to capture this sphere." Deasta waved the net at Sain's face.
"To do that…" Midorikawa murmured. "…is to seize the moon by the teeth."
Deasta's eyes widened in horror. "Um… Did he just say…"
Sain thought carefully. "It means that capturing the sphere is impossible."
"How about the moon and teeth part?" Tenma wanted to know.
"Ow!" Deasta felt around his teeth with his tongue. "What's stuck in my teeth?"
"Open wide." Sain ordered.
Not being able to protest, Deasta opened his mouth. "Hurry!"
"That's a…" Sain took out a toothpick. "Moon cake." He picked out the pieces with his toothpick.
"Moon cake?" asked Tenma.
"It's a kind of traditional Chinese food," explained Sain. "I guess that the sphere doesn't have enough power to stick Deasta to the moon with his teeth in it." He turned his head away. "What a pity."
"What did you say?" Deasta's eyes had narrowed to slits.
"Nothing." Sain waved Deasta's question away.
"Oi, green tea head!" Deasta shouted to Midorikawa.
Pop! Midorikawa's hair disappeared, only to be replaced by lumps of green tea ice-cream.
"Ha, gotcha!" Deasta jeered. "Hey, Sain. How are we gonna capture the sphere?"
"Yeah, how?" echoed Midorikawa, with lumps of melted ice-cream sliding down his face. "Let the cat out of the bag."
There was an angry screech. Sain suddenly had a sack in his hands, which was twitching violently. "Huh?" He looked bewildered.
"Where's Tsurugi?" Tenma looked around for his furry friend.
Kirino-the-cat pointed a paw at the sack, and then backed away very slowly, dragging Kariya-the-cat with him.
"Uh oh." Tenma got the clue and followed the pink cat.
"Sain-san, drop the bag and move away quickly." Tenma instructed.
Sain still looked confused. "Just like…that?" Sain dropped the bag, hard, onto the ground.
"Run!" Tenma shouted.
Sain was still frozen to the ground. With a loud screech, Tsurugi-the-cat sprang out of the bag and started shredding whatever was in close vicinity to him, which unfortunately and to the great amusement of the demon, included Sain's pants.
"Eee!" Sain leapt high in the air. "My pants!"
"That is hilarious, Sain!" Deasta was howling with laughter.
Tsurugi-the-cat continued his scratching rampage, until Tenma walked to him. "Tsurugi, calm down." Tenma peered down at the navy-blue cat.
The cat-boy froze for a moment, and then slinked away to a corner where Kirino and Kariya were.
"Wow, Tenma." Endou patted Tenma on the head. "Tsurugi really listens to you."
Tenma blushed, stuttering. "I-I, erm, ano…"
Meanwhile, Sain's pants were falling apart. Being almost shredded to ribbons, his pants all but ceased the function of serving as clothing.
"Sain! You-pftt…" Deasta was still laughing.
"You sure smile like a Cheshire cat, my friend." Midorikawa remarked.
At this moment, Deasta's mouth became impossibly wide. "What's going on?" he asked, his mouth stretching dramatically.
"Well, well." Sain recovered his composure. "Who's the funny one now?"
"You—" Deasta couldn't continue his sentence.
"Ahem, excuse me." Aphrodi said. "Aren't we supposed to be concentrating on capturing the sphere, instead of bickering?"
"Yes," chimed in Midorikawa. "You guys should put a sock in it."
"Uh." Sain choked.
"Ew." Deasta clutched at his throat.
They both fished a sock out of their mouths, and glared at Aphrodi. "Thanks for that idea you gave him, Blondie," they both said.
"No prob." Aphrodi winked. "Be grateful that he didn't give you a dirty gym sock!"
Sain and Deasta looked ready to fly at Aphrodi's throat, but they restrained themselves.
"Right," Sain mumbled. "Back to business."
"Yeah." Deasta agreed.
"Ano, Endou-kantoku." Tenma said, tapping the coach's arm. "The sphere's getting bigger."
"Help!" Hayami was running around. "It's the end of the world, the sky's falling down, and the ground's crumbling!"
"Stop it, Hayami!" Hamano looked alarmed. "Don't be so pessimistic!"
Hayami stopped. The purple glow descended over him for a brief second.
"Was it really that easy?" Hamano shrugged his shoulders.
"I think I know how to bring the sphere down!" announced Sain.
"You do?" Deasta eyed Sain suspiciously.
"Yeah. Well, here goes nothing." Sain looked around. "Anyone's got a speaker?"
"I do!" Tenma raised his hand.
"What have you got a speaker for?" Hamano asked curiously.
"Aoi was practicing to be a cheerleader… I offered to carry the speaker for her, since if I disturbed her during her cheers she would smack me on the head with it." Tenma rubbed a sore spot on his head.
"Oh." Sain blinked. "Okay."
Standing up, he raised the speaker up to the air. "Oi, Midorikawa! Come over here."
Midorikawa obeyed. Before he could say a word to cause any literal trouble, Sain opened his mouth. "Shut your mouth."
Midorikawa tried to open his mouth again, but he couldn't.
The sphere came closer to inspect what had happened to its closest ally.
"Now!" Sain turned to face the sphere. "Hey, sphere." Sain tried his best to sound casual, as if he weren't talking to a floating, purple sphere.
Deasta snorted.
"You're looking like a small fry."
Boom. The sphere shrunk and shrunk.
"Where's the sphere?" Deasta asked.
"There." Sain pointed to the ground.
On the ground lay a small, purple, glowing fish.
"Oh." Endou sighed. "That's what you meant by a small fry."
"Anybody knows how to fish?" Sain questioned.
No one answered. Deasta smirked. "That's all you've got?!" he demanded. Snatching the net from Sain, Deasta scooped up the fish and put it into the golden net.
Slowly, the golden net vanished, going back to Heaven or Hell or where it was supposed to be.
"Gah! Shindou Takuto!" spluttered a very angry, furious and deranged but human Tsurugi Kyousuke.
Shindou gulped. "Um, Tsurugi…"
"Shindou…" Kirino looked murderous.
"Kirino, Tsurugi, I'm sorry! I didn't mean it!" Shindou bowed down.
But Tsurugi wasn't having any of it. "You're dead meat!"
Kirino wasn't accepting his apologies either. "Sorry, Shindou. I know you're my best friend, but I still have to punish you."
"Help me!" Shindou ran away, with Tsurugi and Kirino hot on his trail.
"What happened just now?" Kariya enquired.
"Heh…" Hikaru sweat-dropped. "It was a very long story."
"So now everything's settled down, I'll be going!" Aphrodi stood up awkwardly.
"Want us to drop you back on the way?" asked Sain.
"We'll handle this dude as well," added Deasta, pointing to Midorikawa.
"Why, thank you." Aphrodi smiled. "You won't try to murder me on the way back, will you?"
A dark aura rose out of the duo. "Of course not!" They answered sweetly, eyes flashing dangerously.
Aphrodi gulped. "Then maybe I should… run away like Shindou?"
Meanwhile, Minamisawa and Kurama were back to normal. And Hayami was complaining again about the supposed state of the ground and the sky.
"Ah, all's well that ends well, isn't it?" Midorikawa said.
"No!" Everyone turned back to glare at him.
"A-ha-ha…" Midorikawa sweat-dropped. "It wasn't my fault in any way, was it?"
The end! Ta-da!
J: I'm glad that's over.
Midorikawa: Me too.
Reviews, please! XDXDXD