Past - In the previous chapter Sirius gets all better-ish and back together with Remus

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I hobbled into the library, the resounding click of crutches against stone following me wherever I went, dragging children from nonchalant conversations to stare at me as I passed and mutter half-arsed rumours between themselves. No part of me cared what they had to say anymore – I'd heard it all already, the current most popular being that I was attacking Kaadweeb and he threw me off in self defence.

Remus was slumped over the desk, hair spayed romantically about him, glittering, motionless, surrounded by stacks of books and loose sheets of paper like the delicate body of Ophelia floating in the reeds. I approached him, pulling out the chair to his side and lowering myself down to breathe in his ear.

"Remmie, honey, you still alive?" My nose nuzzled through layers of gold, pressing against the skin and giving it a slight peck. "I know this amount of time in the library can be near deadly but you seem to have built up a resistance. So please Rems, wake up before I'm forced to rape you."

He shivered a little as I added my teeth into the equation, a quiet groan slipping between his lips.

"I knew no library could kill you," I grinned, flinging an arm over his back and pulling him close.

His head rose, slow and tired looking, hair dangling over his face in a frightening demeanour, resembling some creature from the black lagoon. I would have been scared that he might eat my head, judging by the dark looks he was casting from behind the honey coloured veil, until he swept the loose strands to the side, revealing lines of his Ancient Runes essay printed about his face in an all too adorable fashion. I bit down on my lip, attempting to suppress the laughter that was now bubbling in the back of my throat.

"Moony, baby, you look like a kitten... You've got ink all over - on your nose and cheeks. Oh, c'mere," I smiled, licking my thumb and carefully rubbing at the script that scrawled about his face, loving on the delicate softness of his skin, the tender beauty of his every perfect, little scar.

His head pushed into my hand, caressing; each second of contact pulsing a warm splendour through my veins; each touch calling for more to make up for time lost. I leant toward him, bending and placing a soft kiss on his lips, savouring the taste and loosing myself in the moment.

It was only after a violent tongue forced into my mouth that I pulled back and gave him an acute smirk.

"Rems, we're in the library. If you want to start getting into that, dorm's just around the corner."

He cocked his head to the side and dreamily fingered at my face to which a dark smudge had transferred in the midst of our kiss. I couldn't help but watch him as he did so, learn his looks, his marks, keep track of every new anomaly that passed over his features. I knew he hated me staring, but I couldn't not look, I felt that if I didn't observe what was different every day there may have come a morning that I would wake up next to a man I could no longer recognise, that there would come a day I could no longer see the Remus Lupin I fell in love with on the surface of his skin. I lifted a hand and brushed along the most prominent scar on his face, sighing to myself. I was tired of these feelings, these worries and I knew that I should have simply been grateful that he was mine, but there was always a little niggling in the back of my mind convinced that if I didn't look now I might never have been able to look again. My fingertips slid down his arms and played over the surface of his hands, absorbing the freshest and recalling oldest.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Don't… Please…"

I released from him upon the worn quiver in his voice. As much as I felt obliged to track his scars, in order for me remember part of him had to remember too, and that was possibly more painful for him than any premonition I had crawling about my head.

I rose to my feet with the support of a crutch, gathering his supplies one-handed into a neat stack and passing them to him.

"Let's go. My book allergies are starting to play up."

Grabbing the second of the pair, I limped from the room, trying my best to keep up with Remus but ultimately failing. On more than one occasion I opened my mouth to tell him that he didn't have to be kept back by me, but he quickly dismissed it with a turn of his head and the stern, raised eyebrows that could only mean 'Don't even think about it.' Although that didn't stop him from every so often skipping ahead and turning, to walk backwards and beam at me.

Then, the ever so smug face of Caleb Brown approached from the distance and collided with Remus, sending his books, his parchment, his quills toppling onto floor and dousing them in thick black ink as the glass bottle smashed into shards.

"Oh, sorry. Didn't see you there. I was too distracted staring at the cripple," the Ravenclaw leered, moving his foot into Moony, in what looked surprisingly like a kick, and passing as if nothing had happened.

That man made my blood boil, after everything he'd done to Remus, hadn't it been enough?

I leant down and muttered, "I'm cold. Could you just rush and get my scarf from dorm?" waiting until my boyfriend had rounded the corner before I advanced on little shit.

He flicked me a patronising look, wiping imaginary tears from beneath his eyes as he writhed with laughter.

"Is this supposed to be threatening? What are you going to do? You're pathetic, Black!" He spat, a wildness residing in the depths of his eyes, a glitter that spoke words only of the pleasure he got from this twisted hate. "You can't even look after him! You're a fucking cripple for God's sake, do you think you can overpower me?"

I moved awkwardly backward, his face so close to mine I could almost taste the repugnance in his words.

"Well? Did they amputate your tongue as well, cripple?"

Without even thinking about it, I threw my fist at his face with a loud crack. At first I wasn't sure if I had broken my hand or his nose until a scarlet liquid dribbled over his upper lip and he smeared it across his face in a brassy streak.

"That's for everything you've done to me!" I sneered and punched his stomach, hissing into his ear as his body concertinaed, "that's for screwing my little brother!"

My mind crawled for another way to torture the arsehole, something painful, something that could possibly scar him for life, something that meant he'd never come near me or Remus for as long as he lived.

I thrust a crutch into his balls with as much force as I could muster, pushing him further into an awkward lurch. Though he didn't keel over, teeth gritted and eyes piercing.

"And that is for everything you've ever done to hurt Remus!"

A sick laugh sliced from between his lips. "I hope you and that man whore are happy together! He's truly amazing – you could beat him to a pulp and he'd still come dragging his sorry arse through the mud to crawl back into bed with you by the time the day's up. And I guess that's exactly what he did, isn't it?"

I could feel the rage penetrating my skin, burning my every limb, curling my fists into twitching red balls. I was sure I would have killed him had not Remus appeared and given him a painful thump, sending his tumbling backwards.

"If you ever come near either of us again, I will not only punch, but bite you the next time the full moon comes round!"

I shot him a weary glance, unsure that revealing his secret would prevent more trouble than it would cause.

His hand raised in line with the Ravenclaw's face, fiercely wielding his wand. "Obliviate!"

X

I let a quiet breath slip into the air above me, lying on my bed as Remus curled up beside me, placed his head on my chest and my fingers wove within the silk strands of his hair.

"If I hadn't fallen off the tower, do you think we'd be together now?" I hummed upwards in tranquil contemplation.

His lashes brush against my shirt in a slow, pensive blink.

"Most definitely. There are some things that I deem unforgiveable and he committed nearly all of them."

"And they are?"

He rolled on top of me, resting his head on crossed arms to gaze into my eyes as he spoke. "The way he treated you mostly, like that time we were all here – as in us and the Browns – he was absolutely terrible to you and it made me realise how wrong he felt and how right you did. It was just finding the right time to say it. You know how much I detest confrontation."

A slight smirk played on my lips. "You didn't seem too detesting today when you broke his face."

He shrugged. "I did it for the man I loved. Sometimes you have to do things you don't want to when you love someone. It'd do you some good to think about this next time you consider going off with someone else."

Something accusatory in his voice made me tilt my head up a little more and pass him a questioning look. "What exactly is that supposed to mean?"

"It's supposed to mean that if you cheat on me – his second fault- I won't refrain from leaving you. As much as I can't stand being without you, it might end up being for our own." He pulled his arms apart a little, turning his head to the side and snuggling into my chest. "You know... I never knew what I did wrong to him... how I pushed him away, what did it... he was a throbbing cock of a man but I would like answers..."

I soothingly rubbed his hair and kissed the top of his head, leaning back to close my eyes and listen to each tender breath that pushed from his lungs.