Present - In the previous chapter Siri and Rems escort the children to Kings Cross

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I stroked my hand about my chin and placed the razor beside the sink, turning to gaze from the window into the dreary, grey world beyond the walls of this house. Remus had been gone for 4 days, the children for 5, and almost every ounce of loving will and excitement had vacated itself from my body, leaving me as a disconsolate shell wandering about the house in the same day-to-day rhythms that occupied themselves in the lives of the dull. It seemed as if the world had begun sag around me, colours on the other side of the glass no longer jumped when I looked at them, no longer called to me whispering subtle words of freshness and freedom. The only thing that appeared to evoke even the most elusive of feelings was the giant bush that curved to one side of the pond in the park. It had been there since I was born, longer even, and I'd shared some of my best memories with it – my first friend, my first hide-and-seek game, my first kiss – now watching it brown and progressively begin to bear it's winding frame as the winter approached.

A faint sigh dribbled my lips, stepping into the shower cubicle and playing with the knobs. I hadn't bothered to close either of the doors – Molly was the only other person in the house bar Kreacher and she knew to use the downstairs bathroom. Besides, I'd decided that if I were to slip and fall, granted the ugly bitch and the house elf probably wouldn't help and might quite like to see me gone, I would actually desire for someone to find my corpse before I began to leak bodily fluids into the room below.

I pushed my head under the shower, feeling the droplets beat against my back and trickle through my hair in streams, scented bubbles collecting at my feet from the soap I'd rubbed into my scalp. This way of living was so tiresome. What time I didn't spend worrying, I spent repeating the same tasks over and over until any flare or impulse for exhilaration had been wrought out by the empty hands of dullery. No doubt even when Remus had returned, we would work ourselves into another tedious pattern for the rest of the year until the children returned and I got another chance to play make-believe with my mini James Potter.

My fingers pulled from my side and toyed down the dark strands, twisting at the tips and willing water to well from the depths. I needed to cut my hair. If I couldn't change anything else, this would have to be it. It had already grown too long, barely retaining any flick or curve that had previously been so distinctive, merely weighed down by the sheer mass of the lot.

I heaved and rested against the cold tiles. How long would it be before Moons came back? An hour? A day? A week? A month? Part of me wish that he'd never come back, be pronounced dead - not out of spite or malice, simply because the vagueness in my head, the unremitting fear that pulsed my body was more unsettling than the knowledge itself.

A pair of arms wrapped around my waist and the slight lips of Remus Lupin pressed to my collar bone.

"Honey I'm home," he whispered into my ear, a gliding joy in his voice that tickled my insides, the whim to which had hauled him into the shower and drenched his clothes for the perks of a hug.

"I gathered."

He pulled me closer and nuzzled his head into my ear. "I've found her."

"Found who?"

"Found her, the one."

I let a hefty breath protrude the gap between my lips and turned to face him. "You've been gone for 4 days, Rems. I have no idea what happened in them but making jokes about falling in love with someone else really isn't funny."

He shook his head and laughed, pecking the end of my nose. "Her name is Tora Stuart. She's a friend of Tonks."

"Did you not just listen to what I said? It isn't funny. If you're going to be like this I-"

"Shut up and hear me through, will you?" He grinned, placing a finger on my lips. "I found out today... and..."

I gave him a cold look. I didn't like suspense. Especially when I didn't know what the suspense was for.

"... she's agreed to be a surrogate for us!"

"You what?" I slurred, somewhat dumbstruck.

"A surrogate. You know... Have our baby for us... Get pregnant with our child..."

"I'm not stupid, I – just – wow! I hadn't really thought it'd all be coming reality so soon..."

"Well it is!" He beamed, hugging my waist and gazing down to me. "And you'd thought I'd fallen for her. You know that I've only ever loved you."

I let a little grin flicker in my eyes. "I know that. I just thought you were making an insensitive joke."

"When have I ever tried? I'm too scared you'd up and leave if I did." He sighed, lifting a hand and nervously stroking his hairline.

"Oh, Moons..."

"Yeah, I'm insecure. Don't make a big thing about it."

I couldn't help but smile, the muscles of my cheeks fervently pulling, my insides glowing more than they had for what felt like decades, rising up a little and leaving him a soft kiss.

"I love you, Remus."

"I love you more, Snuffles."

A quiet smirk slid across my lips. "Nah, you don't."

"Yeah I do."

His hands grabbed my face before I could so much as think of a witty remark and locked our mouths. I didn't object, quite the opposite actually, pulling him in closer and sliding my hands up his shirt.

"I missed you too," he whispered, taking me by the wrist and dragging me from the bathroom.