Chapter Three

"So do you have a… girlfriend?" The teasing girl was starting to get on Dave's nerves. The spray tanned jock was just as bad as Sommers' sister. And that's saying something. Her long, pink manicured fingernails traced down Dave's arm. She was probably hoping to get a reaction from… downstairs out of him.

Dave shrugged the girl off of him. "Yes," he lied. "Now piss off."

The blonde pouted. "Aw, come on~ sweetie! You know you can't resist me~."

Dave chuckled. "Oh look, this is me. Raising my hand, waving you off. Oh, and lookie here! I am resisting you. Sorry, doll, I don't fuck whores."

The blond scoffed and stood up, staggering a little, from all the alcohol she consumed. "Fine then. I'll just go fuck someone else!"

Dave nodded and raised his beer bottle. "Good for you. Now piss off."

Furious, the girl stomped away, her stilettos clacking against the hardwood floor.

Dave sighed and looked around the room, bored to death. He really had nothing to do at this suckish party. Sommer was probably banging some fuckass whore. Vantas was probably too drunk to know whatever was happening, but if Dave could guess, him and Terezi were in a closet, getting their happy on. So he basically had no one to commune with.

Wow I need some friends, Dave thought to himself. I only have two. Well, if you count Vantas a 'friend'.

Shrugging, the albino took another gulp of his beer. Nicki Minaj was playing over the speakers, and Dave felt like if the music was any louder, his ears would fall off. At least that would give him a reason to leave.

"Christ, Strider. What the fuck are you doing here all alone?" Vantas mumbled, plopping himself next to the cool kid. "You look like one of them fucking emo kids, all depressed and such."

"Well you're obviously not drunk," Dave mumbled. "Aye, where's your sexy girlfriend? Fucking some other hoe?"

Karkat scowled and flipped Dave off. "For your information, penis breath, she's getting us more drinks."

"Making your girlfriend do all the dirty work? Why Vantas, you are turning into a real man."

The boy rolled his eyes and looked around. "Look man, you have no friends except Sommers. And that's pretty low for a guy like you."

Dave raised his eyebrow. "A guy like me? And I thought you were my friend, Vantas."

Vantas shook his head. "Fuckass," he mumbled under his breath.

"Hey, at least I don't have a stoner for a best friend," Dave said, raising his hands in defense.

"At least Gamzee's not a whore like Sommers," Karkat growled. "Besides, when I know Gamzee, I know Tavros. With Tavros I know Vriska. With Vriska, well, should I go on?"

Dave sighed in defeat. "Whatever. At least I don't know that lisping freak."

Karkat glared at Dave. "Sollux is cool, man. You don't know anybody well enough to judge them. So shut your trap."

Dave shrugged. "Whatever."

Karkat smirked. "What if I told you that I could introduce you to someone just as cool as the next person?"

"So that would mean that person would be a total derp."

Karkat shrugged. "Bluh. He tries. Come on, dude. I'm trying to help you here. John's not that bad. Just… weird."

Dave shook his head. "I'm good, Vantas. I'd rather not have you hook me up. All the times you try to, it always ends up terrible."

"Come on, I'm great at matchmaking."

"Yeah right. Where do you get your fucking study from? Those shitty romcoms you love?"

"Only you would know that, Strider," Karkat sighed.

"Well that's because I ended up spraying my manly fluids all over your pile of romance movies, and you yelled at me until I silence you with a sloppy makeout."

"I hate you."

"Love you too, fuck face."

"Come on. Just this once. I won't be wrong this time! Trust me!" Karkat asked. Wow, the kid was practically begging.

Dave groaned. "Fine. If it'll satisfy you, then bring along the derp."

Karkat rolled his eyes. "Fuckass," he mumbled. "Fine. I'll be back."

Dave sighed and took another swig of his drink. Oh, why does Karkat try to meddle? Last time, Dave ended up getting his eye blackened from the last guy Vantas hooked him up with. Bikers and Dave don't go good together. Both he and Karkat learned that.

A few minutes later, Karkat came back, dragging along a boy, who looked like he was too socially awkward to say anything.

Vantas pushed the boy forward and said, "Dave, this is John. John, Dave. Proceed sloppy makeouts." Then he walked away.

Dave glared at the back of his head. Bastard.

Strider looked up at John. He was a bit taller than Vantas, which was better than nothing. He had dark brown/black hair waved down, and curled at the bottom, flipping upward. He was wearing a Ghostbusters shirt, and baggy blue jeans, along with worn out, black All Stars. He had a small, bucktoothed smile, which was the most derpiest thing Dave had ever seen. Behind thick, black glasses were the most bluest irises that were hidden behind thick lashses.

Dave gaped at the boy.

John was the most beautiful human being that Dave had ever seen in his entire life.

Eh… crappy chapter. Headaches aren't good for the soul. Especially when one wants to write about Homestuck.