"Peet, it's been two weeks since you left the house," Dad said, frowning at me from the doorway. "Please go out and do something." The weather had made my trips to the Seam impossible. If it wasn't actually snowing, the temperature plummeted so low the ground was a solid sheet of ice.
"D-do what?" I sat up in bed, turning to lean my back against the wall. Dad sighed. I did have him there. Where would I go? How the hell would I even get there? I certainly didn't have anyone to go spend time with. Delly, maybe, but that would just be weird. There was no one else in town I'd even entertain the idea of tolerating.
"Just-" Dad shrugged, pulling one of his hands out of his pocket and running it through his hair. He took a deep breath before shaking his head. "Come downstairs, at least. Katniss is here." He slapped his hand against the edge of the door frame and moved down the hall. I heard his footsteps on the stairs a moment later.
There had been a vague sense of normal that had returned between Katniss and I, though it seemed affection wasn't as easy. She still sometimes jerked away when she caught herself touching me, and I couldn't even bring myself to initiate anything. Not that I ever had before. We could at least speak to each other, though, and that was a definite improvement. I eased myself off of the bed, toeing through the clothes on the floor to find the least wrinkled shirt I could. After I dressed I made my way downstairs, taking my seat at the table and watching Katniss as she moved around the kitchen.
"Alright shit stains," Rye announced, pulling his apron off to hang it by the door. "I'm going out."
"No you're not," Dad said, stepping into the kitchen. He pointed to a white box sitting on the counter. "Katniss, I'd like you to deliver that for me."
"Um, okay," Katniss raised an eyebrow. So far as I knew she hadn't yet been out on any deliveries.
"Peeta will help you," he said, lifting his chin slightly when he looked over at me.
"I will?" I asked, and he just gave me a look. He was dead set on getting me out of the house and fighting it was futile. "I w-will."
"Seriously? Dell's waiting for me," Rye frowned, looking over at Katniss and I before turning back to dad.
"And she can keep waiting until they get back," he said, turning back toward the storefront. He pointed toward the box again before moving out of sight. "Get moving."
"Feeling up to it?" Katniss turned toward me, pulling her apron off and balling it up before throwing it at Rye. It unfurled midair and landed across his chest. He just rolled his eyes and pulled it away.
"This trip isn't—optional," I said quietly, shaking my head and pushing to my feet to cross the kitchen toward the box, picking up the slip on top of it. It was going to the Boothes, the family who owned the hardware store on the other end of the square. They were one of the few families that didn't actually live above their business, instead renting out the space over the store. They occupied a small house behind it. Katniss brought me my coat, smiling at me when I took it before pulling on her own.
"We'll make it quick," she said, pulling her braid out of her collar.
"Please fucking do, I have better things to do than hang around this fucking kitchen all day," Rye snapped. Katniss all but rolled her eyes.
"On second thought, let's take our time." She gave me a look, lifting the box from the counter and leading the way outside. I held onto her arm as we worked our way down the back steps, around the side of the bakery, and out to the square. The sun had melted the snow just enough to give some traction as my feet sank into it, but it still took all of my concentration to keep from slipping. I quickly pointed out where we were going before turning my attention back to my footing.
We left the square and moved past the shops to the row of houses behind it, mostly occupied by teachers and a few of the District officials. The ground was uneven and only a narrow path had been cleared of snow. I set my hand on Katniss' arm, hoping it just looked as though I was guiding her to the right house, not like I was trying desperately to keep myself on my feet.
"I seriously never would have found that if you hadn't come with me," she said after we got back to the square, and I could stop spending so much of my energy focusing on my footing. I chuckled quietly, glancing across the square toward the bakery. Katniss paused, looking over her shoulder toward the sweet shop. I stopped to look back at her, and she just smiled at me. "Want to make Rye miserable?"
"Of c-course," I smirked.
"Then let's make him wait for his stupid little date," she nodded toward the shop, leading me in. Darla's family owned it, though it had been a long time since she'd made regular appearances behind the counter. One of her sisters smiled and waved at us as we walked in. I returned it, trying to remember her name and drawing a complete blank. I followed Katniss to the counter in the back where they served soda and malts in the summer and hot cider and tea in the winter. She ordered a couple of cups of cider for us as we sat down, and it took me a moment to realize it was Darla's older sister serving us. I couldn't remember her name either.
"Ethel, don't be rude!" The younger of the two girls bounded down one of the short aisles and launched herself to sit on the counter beside me. At the mention of the name the rest of the details flooded in. The one currently scooping half the whipped cream off of my mug with her finger was Virginia, went by Ginny, just finished school last spring, and was the only member of the Donner clan I actually liked aside from Darla herself. Ethel was a year older than Darla, perpetually gloomy, and had very little to say to anyone. Ever. "Just slipping that mug in front of him like he's not family. What's wrong with you?"
"Hi, Peeta," Ethel rolled her eyes, turning away from the counter when Ginny leaned back to slap her arm.
"I haven't seen you since Little Twain was born," Ginny smirked, turning her attention back to me as Ethel disappeared to the other end of the store. "Missed you, kid. Is this Katniss? I've heard a lot about you, you know."
"You have?" Katniss raised an eyebrow, scooping a bit of whipped cream from the top of her mug and sucking her finger clean. I watched her lips purse against her skin and took a slow, even breath, trying not to let my imagination run away from me. She glanced over at me, pleading for a little help.
"I'm sorry," Ginny let out a high, brief laugh before leaning over me and holding out her hand. "I'm Ginny, Darla's baby sister. She is absolutely taken with you and wouldn't stop talking about how great you are the last time she came by." Katniss hesitantly accepted Ginny's hand, shaking it lightly and looking over at me as Ginny let her go.
"Darla's... very sweet," Katniss said hesitantly.
"She's new to us, isn't she," Ginny said to me. I laughed and nodded, reaching over and touching Katniss' knee before I actually realized what I was doing and pulled my hand back. "So, um. How are things?" Ginny's voice softened, her expression adopting a level of concern I was too used to seeing. It didn't feel as patronizing from her, just as it didn't from Darla.
"They're, um—better." I smiled as best I could, and for once I wasn't lying. Things weren't exactly great, but they were getting better.
"Good," Ginny looked up as the front door opened and slid down off of the counter. "Don't be such a stranger. I know it's not easy to get out, but we miss you." She kissed my cheek before walking away, and I wondered who the hell the 'we' she was referring to was. It certainly wasn't Ethel. I could count on one hand the number of complete sentences I'd heard out of her. Maybe Darla. I really didn't see her as often as I used to. Or maybe she was just being polite.
"Are they all like that?" Katniss asked, looking over her shoulder at Ginny.
"N-no," I smirked. "Just Darla and Ginny. The rest are um-"
"Like her?" Katniss leaned close and lowered her voice, tilting her head toward Ethel. She was standing just inside the back room with her arms folded across her chest, watching over the store with a vacant, bored look on her face. I had to cover my mouth to keep from choking on my drink.
"Kind of," I said quietly. While we sat and finished our drinks I told her what I could piece together from my memory about Darla slowly becoming part of the family, and my limited experience with anyone in her own family beyond Ginny. Katniss' smile grew wider the longer we sat there, until I realized the last bit of my cider had long gone cold and I'd been the only one doing any talking.
"Come on," she nudged me with her elbow once I'd gone quiet, and I could feel the blush rising in my face. "I think we made Rye suffer enough."
"I d-don't think Rye can ever—suffer enough," I smirked, and she laughed quietly as we made our way out of the shop. We were barely halfway across the square when I caught sight of a group of kids from school. I swore under my breath as soon as I recognized them.
"What is it?" Katniss looked over at me, frowning as soon as she caught sight of them. Merx Miller, Harvey Carrow, Lee and Verne Whitaker. Of course. Lee elbowed Merx and pointed toward me, the four of them immediately changing course toward us. "Great."
"What the fuck, Mellark?" Merx threw his arms out as he approached, a cocky smirk on his face. "Thought you died or some shit."
"Almost," I frowned, not really wanting to deal with this. With any of them. Katniss kept her eyes on me, and I could feel the tension in her. It only made my own worse.
"You doing alright?" Harvey asked. I took a breath to answer, and Merx cut me off.
"Course he is, look at him," Merx gestured to me, looking toward Katniss as they came to a stop in front of us. "Got a new girlfriend, eh? Pissed your brother snatched Cartwright out from under you? Slumming it with the Seam sluts now?"
"Hey," Katniss snapped, finally looking away from me. I wanted to say something, to step up and defend her, but I couldn't find the words. I glared at him instead. He all but ignored me, turning his attention toward Katniss.
"Can't say I blame you," he cocked an eyebrow, a slow grin spreading across his face as he looked Katniss over. "Long as you don't mind a little coal dust on your dick."
"Fuck you," I spat, shifting closer to Katniss.
"Let's just go," she said quietly, putting her hand on my back.
"Come on, man," Harvey frowned, backhanding Merx's arm and turning to walk away. Lee and Verne didn't move, just traded amused smirks and waited for whatever Merx was working up to next.
"A little defensive, are we?" Merx raised an eyebrow.
"J-just don't want to—listen to your sh-shit," I tightened my jaw, hating that fucking stutter and hoping he didn't notice. That was hoping for too much, and I knew it. Merx chuckled, looking over at the twins before turning back to me.
"So she didn't kill you," he said, smirking at me. "Just beat some retard into you."
"I'm gonna beat some fucking retard into you," Katniss snapped, stepping around me toward Merx. He took a step back, only starting to laugh once he saw I had Katniss by the arm, holding her back. She looked down at my hand, relaxing a little before looking up into my face.
"Let's g-go," I said quietly, and she nodded. I blocked out whatever shit Merx still had to say as we turned and walked away, back toward the bakery.
"It's about fucking time," Rye snapped as soon as we were inside. I just headed straight for the stairs. I was in no mood for his shit. "Since when does a delivery that close take two fucking hours?"
"Can it, Mellark," Katniss snapped, and I heard her on the stairs behind me. I didn't really know if I even wanted her to follow me, but I knew there was no need to even bother arguing the point. She'd be following whether I wanted her to or not. I moved down the hall and dropped down to sit on my bed, leaning my elbows against my knees and burying my face in my hands. I felt her sit beside me, her hand hesitantly hovering by my back.
I could barely breathe. It felt like someone had a hold on my lungs and was squeezing as hard as they could. My heart raced and my head swam and I pressed my hands harder against my face in an attempt to put a stop to it. It only got worse. Katniss tried speaking, but I couldn't hear her over the ringing in my ears. After a moment I felt her hand between my shoulder blades and tried to focus on it. She rubbed a slow circle across my upper back. I swallowed hard, forcing my breathing to slow as I concentrated on the feeling.
"This d-doesn't make me feel any better—about going back to school," I muttered, dropping my hands.
"Merx is a dick," she said quietly, setting her hand on my shoulders. "And that was my fault. He went after me. You just got caught up in it. I'm sorry."
"Don't," I frowned, shaking my head. She rubbed her hand over my shoulders, calming me. It wasn't her fault, and her thinking it was just made me feel even worse about the entire situation, if possible. Merx and I had been at odds for a long time. Somewhere along the line he'd gone from just being a bit of a jerk to being a flat out bully, and I rarely had the patience for it. I had also been fortunate enough to never be a target—until this.
"I'm going to go downstairs before Rye blows a fuse," Katniss said, setting her other hand on my arm. "Will you come down in a bit?"
"Yeah," I nodded, pulling off my hat as she got up. Katniss closed the door quietly behind her, and I listened to her footsteps on the stairs before dropping back to lay down. My mind ran circles around the encounter, around how stupid I sounded, and that stupid look on Merx's face. By the time school started back he'd have spread that word—retard—about me to anyone who would listen, and I'd be treated like I was defective. Maybe I could just dig in my heels and get out of going back completely. If Rye could get away with it there had to be a way I that could, as well. He may have the legal right to drop out, but between the two of us, I certainly had a better reason.
A quiet knock at the door jerked me out of a sound sleep. The room was dark, and I glanced over toward the window, pulling the shade aside to find that the sun had almost completely set. Katniss poked her head into the room as I sat up on the edge of the bed, smirking at me.
"That trip tire you out?" she asked softly. I just nodded, mumbling an apology and running my hand through my hair. "I came up to check on you earlier, and you were out cold. I didn't mean to wake you up."
"It's—okay." I arched my back, my spine popping audibly as I stretched it. "Shouldn't have sl-slept so long."
"Don't worry about it," she smiled at me, shifting the doorknob in her grip and dropping her gaze for a moment. "I'm, um, I'm gonna get going, though. I just wanted to say goodbye before I left. I won't be back for a few days. You'll probably see my mom before me."
"Oh good," I deadpanned. Katniss laughed softly. I watched her for a moment, wondering why she was so hesitant. Why she kept worrying her lip between her teeth like that. Was she feeling bad for me? That had to be it. Unless she didn't really want to leave, but I couldn't think of any reason she'd want to actually stick around. I couldn't even stay awake for an afternoon.
"I'll see you, Peet," she smiled briefly.
"Bye, Kat," I smirked. I liked the way my nickname sounded coming from her. She ducked out of the room, closing the door gently, and I listened as she retreated down the hall, waiting for the sound of the back door closing behind her before even getting up from the bed.
I made my way into the kitchen, standing at the sink and staring out the window, my entire reason for coming in completely forgotten. The bottles of pills on the shelves next to the sink caught my eye, and that seemed as likely a reason as any. I picked out the bottles I needed for the night, shaking the pills into the palm of my hand. I stood staring at the pile of ten or so for a minute before tossing them into my mouth and leaning over the sink to gulp enough water from the faucet to choke them down. I hated every single one of them. Each was just a reminder of all of the things wrong with me. Of the fact that Merx was right. That it would never end. The most humiliating part was it had to happen in front of Katniss. I wanted to be the one protecting her, not the weakling needing her to stand up for me.
Rye was sitting on the worktable, staring out the back window and absentmindedly picking at a sandwich. He looked up as I came down, putting his foot on one of the chairs beside him and pushing it away from the table while nodding for me to sit. As I dropped into the chair he pushed a napkin with the other half of his sandwich toward me. The idea of eating made my stomach churn, but I knew at least one of those pills would make me feel even worse in a few hours if I didn't choke down something along with them.
"If that Miller kid starts any more shit I am going to fuck him up," Rye said, his mouth still half full of food. I gave him a look as I picked up the sandwich half he'd given me. Katniss must have told him. I wonder what else she had to say about it. "He's a fucking princess."
"P-please don't," I took a bite, forcing myself to chew through it and choke it back.
"I'll tell him it's for what he said about Katniss to save your pride or whatever," Rye shrugged, wiping the crumbs from his fingers off on his pants. I rolled my eyes, shaking my head and looking away. "She was pretty broken up about that, you know."
"What?" I glanced up at him before frowning down at the sandwich, opening it up and picking out the meat.
"Katniss," he clarified. "She was worried. About how you took it. She spent all fucking afternoon looking over at the staircase. Have you made another move yet or what?"
"N-no." I shredded the chicken as I ate it, trying not to wonder whether this was one of ours, and which one I was eating.
"You need to," he cocked an eyebrow at me. I just rolled my eyes. "I'm serious."
"Yeah, okay," I said as I tore apart one of the pieces of bread, shoving half into my mouth before pushing the remains of the sandwich away from me.
"You didn't actually listen to anything that cocksmooch Miller had to say, did you?" he frowned, snatching the other half of the bread from the table to eat it. I looked away from him. It was hard not to listen when all he was doing was saying everything out loud that I had running through my head for god knows how long. Rye backhanded my shoulder. "Don't do that shit to yourself. I'm serious. You're a hell of a lot better than him."
"Still have to face him in a couple of weeks," I muttered, leaning forward against the table and scratching my hand through my hair. I let my fingertips drift over the patch left by the wound. The hair hadn't grown back over most of it. Both Mrs. Everdeen and Dr. Lawrence had said it might not. Ever. And the hair that was growing back was fine, sparse, and nearly white, and would probably stay that way. I'd spend the rest of my life hiding under hats. The fact that there wasn't a person in the District who didn't know is bad enough. Carrying around visual evidence forever had about as much appeal as reliving the day it happened.
"Fuck him, your girlfriend's hotter," Rye said, pushing himself down off the table.
"She's not my g-girlfriend," I sighed, dropping my hands into my lap.
"Only because you won't make a fucking move," he leaned over the table and pulled the destroyed remnants of my half of the sandwich toward him. "You gonna finish this?" I gestured towards it, telling him to go ahead. He piled it together before scooping it off the table and turning around to finish it over the sink, turning the water on to wash the stray pieces of lettuce and chicken that fell out of it down the drain. "Help me get this shit taken care of, I still have to clean out front, too." He nodded toward the array of tools littering the counter and worktable, and the ingredients left out from the prep. I nodded, surprised he even asked, and pushed away from the table to help.
The constant cold was making my wrist ache; the pain radiating up to my elbow and down through my fingers. The more exhausted I felt the more it hurt, and the more it hurt the harder it was to sleep. The cycle spiraled to a breaking point by the weekend, and I collapsed into bed Saturday afternoon and barely moved until well into Sunday morning. Dad brought me a plate of food and a glass of water with my round of pills for the morning, promising the house would stay quiet. He had already kicked Rye out for the day, and the bakery work that needed to be taken care of with the shop closed was already done. I barely managed a few bites of the meal he left before I drifted off again.
I woke sometime in the afternoon, disoriented and groggy. My back was sore and my joints felt loose from laying in bed for so long without really moving. I gingerly swung my feet to the floor, my head immediately pounding and dizziness taking over when I sat upright. The ache settled right back in my wrist, and I wished I hadn't woken at all. Something for my head, a fresh glass of water, and maybe an extra muscle relaxer to put me back to sleep sounded perfect. I was already out in the hall before I was aware of the voices in the kitchen.
"If it weren't for my boys, I'd say she was a mistake," Dad said, his voice heavy and sad. "My mistake was not confronting her before she got out of hand."
"You couldn't have seen this coming. I hope you know that," Mrs. Everdeen answered quietly. Surprised that she was here, I stopped and leaned against the wall. I knew this wasn't something I should listen in on, but I'd never actually heard Dad talk about any of it.
"I should have," he sighed. I bit down hard on my lip. I hated that he blamed himself. He didn't do a damn thing wrong. "And I should have stepped in before she raised a hand to any of them."
"I'm sorry, Twain," she said after a few moments of silence.
"I'm glad it's you," Dad said, a bit of the weight lifting from his tone. I smirked to myself. Rye had teased the hell out of him when he'd decided to try bringing me to see Mrs. Everdeen as soon as it became clear we wouldn't be able to keep Dr. Lawrence for anything more than the occasional check ups on my progress. It was the first bit of life we'd had in the house since it had happened. And the only time I had ever seen my father blush. "Helping him, I mean. He couldn't be in better hands."
"Please," Mrs. Everdeen said, her tone all too reminiscent of Katniss. "I'm making this up as I go along, and you are well aware of that."
"You're doing wonderfully," he responded, silence falling between them again. I waited, unsure whether to attempt quietly slipping back into the bedroom or to continue on into the kitchen. The pounding got a little worse, and that made my decision for me. I rounded the corner into the kitchen, stopping short at the sight of Mrs. Everdeen sitting shoulder to shoulder with my father at the kitchen table, one of his hands pressed between both of hers. She jerked away from him, her pale skin flushing as she touched the hair at the back of her neck nervously.
"Peeta," she smiled, the expression failing as she glanced at my father. "I didn't realize you were awake."
"Everything okay, Peet?" Dad asked, his posture still angled toward Mrs. Everdeen. She sat bolt upright in her chair, hands in her lap, the color slowly receding from her face.
"Um, sorry—headache," I gestured toward the counter where my row of pill bottles sat.
"Why don't you get back in bed and I'll bring that in for you," he said. I nodded, turning away and slipping back down the hall toward the bedroom.
"I should get going," Mrs. Everdeen said, and I heard the scrape of their chairs against the kitchen floor. I hovered just inside my doorway, feeling like a complete ass for ruining whatever Dad had going in there. "Thank you for dinner, Twain. It was lovely, really."
"You're sure you wouldn't like to stay," Dad tried, and I listened to the clack of the pill bottles as he picked two of them up, the tap running as he filled a glass of water.
"I really should get back to the girls," Mrs. Everdeen said.
"Well, at least give me a moment so I can walk you out," Dad said, earning a quiet laugh that I hoped for his sake meant she would. I ducked into the room, dropping down to sit on the edge of the bed before he reached the doorway. He paused, letting out a sigh and raising his eyebrows at me. I twisted my mouth to hide a smile, looking down at the floor before I started laughing.
"Didn't mean t-to, uh—cockblock you, Dad," I said quietly.
"Don't be vile," he stepped into the room and set the glass on the dresser next to the bed. "And don't do it again," he smirked, looking down at the bottles in his hand. He handed one to me. "Two of these for your head. And if you just want to get back to sleep-" he put the other down on the dresser beside the glass of water. "One of those."
"Thanks, Dad," I smiled, and he shoved the side of my head lightly as he turned to leave the room. I listened to both sets of footsteps on the stairs before taking all three of the pills, pushing the bedroom window open a crack and laying back down. I managed to doze for at least a few minutes, jerking awake when Rye pushed the door open, all but stomping into the room and dropping down to sit on his bed. I rolled over to look at him, raising an eyebrow at the vacant smile on his face.
"What?" I demanded when he ignored the question I wasn't asking out loud.
"I just caught Dad kissing Mrs. Everdeen on the back porch," he said, a beat of silence passing before his grin broadened. I smiled back at him, and the two of us started to laugh in the same minute.
"Both of you can shut the hell up," Dad called from down the hall, and it only made us laugh harder.
Rye and I sat in the back of the bakery, playing a hand of cards between customers. Dad was upstairs, sound asleep, and Katniss had left for the night. My head was still reeling from trying to find some kind of opportunity with her, and I wouldn't be sleeping any time in the near future. The bell at the front door rang and Rye rolled his eyes, letting out an exaggerated sigh, throwing his cards on the table in front of him and slumping out to the storefront.
"Oh, it's you," he said, his posture brightening as he slipped through the doorway. "You know we're not closed. I thought you were coming by later."
"Yeah, to see you," Delly answered. I heard the doors at the end of the counter swing open and a happy little sigh out of Delly as they kissed. "And who says I'm here to see you?"
"Peet's in the back," Rye said, his tone shifting to something knowing. Approving. "I've got some shit to finish up out here." Delly appeared in the doorway a moment later, and I did my best to smile at her as she crossed the kitchen and took Rye's seat at the table.
"Hi," she said.
"Hey." I set my cards down, shifting in my stool. I'd spoken all of three sentences to Delly in the past few months, and none of them had been particularly nice.
"I've, um," Delly bit her lip, resting her hands on the table and fidgeting with the charms on her bracelet. "I've been wanting to talk to you for a while. And I didn't really know how. And that... was stupid of me." I frowned, watching her tug the chain around her wrist. I gave her a charm for it for her eighth birthday, and I was surprised I could remember it. Even more surprised when I saw the tiny little star still hanging from it as she spun it around her wrist. "I know we're not friends like we were when we were little, but I still think of you as my friend. And I've been a terrible friend."
"Its—fine," I said, dropping my eyes to the table.
"Peeta," Delly reached across the corner of the table, setting her hand on mine. I looked up at her. She looked like she was on the verge of tears. "It's not fine. I'm sorry." I offered her a weak smile, and it only served to make her lip quiver. Rye hovered in the doorway, and that just made the situation even more awkward. "You're like my brother, and I just dropped you. I shouldn't have, and I feel like a complete jerk. I want to be here for you, however I can."
"It's okay—really," I said. I turned my hand over and curled my fingers around hers. "We're f-fine."
"Friends?" she furrowed her brow, squeezing my hand.
"Yeah," I nodded, and she got up from her stool, moving around the corner of the table and throwing her arms around my neck to pull me into a hug. I shot Rye a look over her shoulder and he shrugged, turning back into the storefront and chuckling quietly.
"I'm glad you're coming back to school," Delly said as she sat back down. "And I'm sorry I ever tried to cover for those assholes."
"Don't worry about it," I smirked, shaking my head.
"Merx is a dick," she said, frowning and picking up Rye's cards. She was spending entirely too much time with him. Delly never cursed—never—and I'm pretty sure if Rye ever stopped the world would stop spinning. It was rubbing off on her. She slapped his cards down and reached across the table for mine. I let her pick up the hand without protest. She rolled her eyes, slapping them down in front of me. "Get rid of that four and call on the next draw. He's got nothing."
"Thanks," I laughed, and Rye rejoined us a few minutes later. I took her advice and ended up pulling so far ahead in points that he threw his cards down and declared the game a waste of time. He had Delly in his lap in nearly the same breath, and I excused myself to go upstairs. My jealousy of the two of them hadn't quite subsided, and as I lowered myself into bed I couldn't get Katniss out of my mind. It would be another day or two before she returned, one of which Dad wanted to attempt a trip out to the Seam; trying to get me out of the house again, but there hadn't been any change in the weather, and I really didn't see it happening. I wasn't all that heartbroken over the idea, even though I would have enjoyed seeing Katniss sooner.
The weather only worsened the following days; the wind was too harsh to make the walk. It began snowing off and on, the wind whipping the powder away from the ground as fast as it fell. Seeing Katniss had become one of the only things I looked forward to when I got up in the morning. I didn't mind skipping the appointments with her mother, but when the weather didn't break it seemed to be unlikely she would make it to the bakery. When she did show up for work she found herself on the receiving end of a half hearted lecture out of my father about walking so far with the threat of an incoming blizzard.
"Shit," Katniss stopped, turning off the faucet and staring out the window over the sink. "When the hell did this happen?" She pointed outside; snow was being driven sideways across the yard, whipping around in a hard wind. As if on cue, a gust rattled the window.
"I thought you were keeping an eye on the weather," Rye raised an eyebrow, looking up from the pie crust he was weaving together.
"I was," she snapped before turning around to me. Her arms were covered in soap suds up to the elbow, a stray strand of hair that had come loose from her braid hanging in her face. She blew it out of her eyes before shaking her head at me in disbelief.
"W-wait it out?" I shrugged.
"I'm gonna have to," she said, shaking her head again as she stared back out the window.
"Katniss?" Dad called from the top of the stairs.
"Yes?" She angled her head toward the stairs, not quite tearing her eyes away from the driving snow outside.
"Just making sure you're still here," Dad moved halfway down, into view. "Don't you dare leave until this is over. You might be here for the night."
"Oh, good," Rye spat sarcastically, sneering at Katniss. "She can sleep in the basement."
"She'll sleep in my bed," Dad said, moving the rest of the way down the stairs. "I'll take the couch. " He folded his arms over his chest and walked out into the storefront. I walked behind him, stopping and leaning against the door frame. The opposite side of the square was barely visible through the snow. He sighed, turning back and clapping his hand against my back as he passed by me. "Might as well shut it down, guys. Relax a bit. I think we're done for the day."
"Excellent," Rye grinned, dropping the half finished crust on top of the pie and lifting it from the table to put into the refrigerator in the storage room.
"And no, you're not going anywhere," Dad said before going back upstairs.
"Dammit," Rye's tone barely changed from his last statement. I helped the two of them clean up the kitchen, and we spent the rest of the afternoon sitting around the living room, talking and cycling through any card games we could come up with. Dad sat with us for a while and showed us a couple of card tricks before settling in to alternately frown at his book and frown at the snow outside.
"I just hope your mother doesn't worry," he muttered to Katniss more than once. Rye and I smirked at each other. I wondered if Katniss had any idea about the two of them, and what she made of it if she did. If she didn't, I certainly didn't want to be the one to break that news to her. We were glad to see Dad getting a chance with someone who could make him happy after years of he and Mom making each other miserable. Things were definitely different for Katniss though, in that respect.
She followed me into the kitchen and sat on the counter as I took my pills for the night. She accepted the glass of water I offered her, sipping from it without taking her eyes off of me. She watched me shift the bottles I needed into a lineup on the counter, raising her eyebrows as I popped one after the other into my mouth.
"All of those," she said. "Every night?" I nodded, washing them down.
"More in the morning," I said. "A c-couple in the afternoon."
"What are these?" She reached for one of the bottles I hadn't touched, and I really hoped she left most of those alone.
"Morphling," I chewed the inside of my lip, willing her to give up and let it rest. "For when the headaches or my arm or...whatever get really b-bad." She opened the bottle, glancing inside before covering it and putting it back. Her hands fell on the one bottle I'd hoped she would just leave sitting there.
"What about these?"
"They're, uh," I cleared my throat. "To help me with the b-bathroom." I threw back the rest of the glass of water.
"You have trouble peeing, too?" She raised an eyebrow, twisting off the top and glancing inside. I shook my head. "Holy shit, these are huge. You have to swallow these?"
"No..." I said slowly, looking away, waiting for that to sink in. I heard her twist the cap back on and slam the bottle back onto the shelf.
"I'm going to leave those alone now," she said, setting her empty glass down on the counter and sliding off of it onto her feet.
"Thank you," I said, finishing off the water and setting the glass down in the sink. Anything to change the subject. "Do you, um—do you need something to sleep in?"
"Actually, yeah," she brightened, apparently as glad as I was for the change in subject. "If you don't mind. I can just sleep in this, though." She looked down at herself, plucking at the hem of her shirt.
"C-come on," I nodded toward the hall and led her toward my bedroom, rapping my knuckle against the door once before opening it. Rye looked up from where he lay in bed, one arm behind his head, a book in his hand.
"I didn't know you could read," Katniss folded her arms and leaned against the doorframe. I crouched in front of the dresser, yanking open the bottom drawer and rifling through it for something to give her.
"I just like the pictures," Rye said without missing a beat. I smirked, draping a shirt—an older one, soft and worn but smaller than most of what I had—over my shoulder and realizing I had absolutely no pants to give her that would fit. "If you're trying to find jammies for your girlfriend there's a pair of Delly's sweatpants in my drawer."
"Why do you ha-" I cut myself off and shook my head. "Never mind." I straightened up and pulled open his drawer. The bright pink pants stood out like a sore thumb.
"No, don't never mind," Katniss leaned back out the door and glanced down the hall, raising her voice so Dad would hear. "Why do you have Delly's clothes in your room, Rye?"
"Don't be an ass," Rye snapped, dropping his book on his chest. "She was in a rush to leave and forgot them."
"Her pants," Katniss deadpanned. I snorted, turning to pass the clothes to her.
"We fell asleep and didn't even wake up until the next morning, she scrambled out of here," he shrugged. Katniss raised an eyebrow at him before shaking the pants out, stretching the waistband and holding them up against her waist. They weren't going to fit her either. "She had them on under her skirt. It gets cold down in that basement."
"I like how you th-think either of us b-believes she—keeps her clothes on down there," I said. Katniss laughed, draping the clothes over her arm.
"That's enough about how thoroughly you've debased my best friend's daughter," Dad called from down the hall. "Bed."
"Goodnight," Katniss smiled at me. "And thanks." She held up the clothes before turning to go into dad's room across the hall. I hovered in the doorway, watching her as she closed the door.
"Goodnight, Catpiss," Rye hollered, loud enough to startle me. Katniss' hand shot out from behind the door to flip him off. I chuckled and closed the bedroom door. "I noticed neither of you denied the girlfriend statement."
"D-don't be an ass," I gave him a look, purposefully mimicking what he'd said to Katniss. I slipped off my pants and sat on the edge of the bed.
"Be nice to me or I'll rat you out when you sneak across the hall later," he closed his book and dropped it onto the dresser.
"I'm not sneaking anywhere," I yanked my shirt off, whipping it across the room at him. He laughed and swatted it to the floor before it hit him.
"Your loss," Rye turned away from me, tugging the blankets up to his shoulders. I glared at his back for a moment before leaning over and cracking open the bedroom window. He turned to say something and I just turned out the lights before he got the chance, turning over to face the wall.
I wanted to sneak across the hall. What I really wanted was for her to actually want me to, but I couldn't imagine that even being a possibility. I couldn't sleep, thinking about her over there. I wondered if she could sleep. Listened Rye's snoring on the other side of the room. Dad's snoring in the living room. The wind howling outside. Every once in a while it would shift, whipping a faint dust of snow into the room. It felt good. After a while Rye got up, grumbling, and reached for the window.
"Don't," I snapped. He startled, bumping against the dresser and hissed a string of obscenities under his breath before dropping back into bed. He was snoring again in a matter of minutes. I sighed, turning over and staring at him as if that would make him stop. It didn't work. I got up out of bed, yanked on the first pair of pants I could find, and quietly opened my door to go into the kitchen. I hadn't really been able to stomach eating much at dinner, and dad had brought up some of what we were left with after closing the bakery so early. There was a plate of croissants on the counter. I tore one in half and leaned against the edge of the counter to eat it.
"I can't sleep either," Katniss said quietly, her voice just above a whisper. She stood in the doorway, hugging her arms around herself. Her braid was loose, wispy strands of hair falling around her face. She had the drawstring on Delly's pants cinched tight and they still barely hung onto her hips. I tore my eyes away from the strip of bare skin above them. "I think this is the first time I've seen you eat just to eat and not to be polite."
"N-not usually hungry," I said quietly as she crossed the kitchen to me. "Want something?" She shrugged, picking up the croissant half I'd left on the plate and tearing off a piece. Rye's snoring got a little louder, and she rolled her eyes.
"How the hell do you sleep through that?" she gave me a look, and I had to hold back a laugh.
"I used to be able to t-tune it out," I smirked.
"How?" She made a face.
"I w-wish I could—remember," I said, and she laughed softly. Dad shuffled in his sleep in the next room and she pressed her lips closed, her eyes going wide for a moment. She nodded for me to follow her and led the way into my father's room. I hovered by the door after she closed it, all too aware that the only piece of furniture in the room aside from the two dressers was the bed. She crossed the room to sit down, pulling the sweatpants up as she went.
"I probably would have been better off in yours," she said, still keeping her voice low.
"Wh-what?"
"A pair of your pants," she said, tugging at the leg of her sweats. "These keep falling off."
"The c-color suits you," I smirked. She rolled her eyes, smiling faintly as she looked away.
"Are you going to sit down or what?" she said, nodding toward the bed beside her when I raised my eyebrows in question. I nodded, smiling a little and dropping my eyes to the floor as I sat down beside her. "Rye told me Delly came over to apologize to you."
"Yeah," I scratched my forehead, glancing over at her.
"That must have been awkward," she said. I chuckled quietly and nodded, pushing my hand back through my hair. The only thing that could have made that entire encounter more awkward was if she had actually cried. Katniss chewed her lip, looking past me thoughtfully. "Okay. I need you to explain something to me."
"What?" I watched as she tugged the elastic off the end of her hair, stretching it between her fingers and taking a breath before speaking.
"Your brother... and Delly Cartwright," she said, laughing softly at herself when I started to laugh. "Seriously. How does that work? Rye is an loudmouthed asshole, and Delly is..."
"Q-quiet and sweet?" I supplied.
"I was going to say spineless and boring, but that works," Katniss laughed. I rubbed my hand over my eyes, laughing at her description in spite of myself and feeling like a jerk for doing it.
"They c-compliment each other well. It might make more—s-sense if you knew her," I said, turning the idea over in my head. "Then again—I know her and I d-d-don't get it sometimes." I watched as Katniss started pulling the braid out of her hair, combing her fingers through it as she worked it loose. "He c-cares about her though. J-just don't tell him I s-said so." She laughed quietly, scratching her fingers through her hair and shaking it out. I tried to remember if I'd ever seen her with her hair down, and if I ever had, she hadn't looked quite as beautiful as she did right now. Just go for it. Rye kept saying to, kept telling me she wanted me to, even if I couldn't fathom the idea. I shifted closer, ignoring the hammering in my chest and leaning in to kiss her.
I set my hand on her knee, gently pressing my lips to hers. Her fingertips brushed over the back of my hand, and I swear she leaned into me before I pulled back. Her eyes were wide, her posture rigid, her eyes unfocused. I couldn't gauge her response, couldn't figure out if I'd fucked up. She took a breath and I pulled my hand back, closing my eyes for a moment and gearing up to apologize as much as possible. Katniss took my face in her hands before I could get the words out, pulling me back to her and leaning in to kiss me. I melted into it, leaning as close as I dared, tentatively slipping my hand around her waist. She shifted closer, aligning her body against mine and draping one arm around my neck, her other hand drifting down to rest against my bare chest. Her lips parted, her tongue brushing against my lower lip lightly. I met it with my own, opening my mouth against hers. Katniss let out a soft murmur before she pulled back and rested her forehead against mine. I kissed the corner of her mouth, suddenly aware that my hand was resting on the bare skin of her lower back. I didn't want to pull away, didn't want anything about that moment to end, and I'd never been happier about Rye being right about something. I brushed my hand through her hair, letting it slide between my fingers, and she ducked her chin, pulling back a little. Even in the dark I could see her face was flushed. She pulled her hands back, letting them slide down my arms and dropping them in her lap. I shifted away from her, adjusting myself as I turned to look down at the floor and pressed my tongue between my lips. Neither of us spoke.
"Um," I finally broke the silence, glancing at her before dropping my eyes to the floor again. "I sh-should um-" I gestured toward the door.
"Um. Okay," Katniss chewed her lip, her expression hesitant and unsure as she watched me get up. I smiled at her briefly, not sure of what the hell to do with myself, and ducked out of the room as quickly as possible. I stepped back into my bedroom and closed the door behind me, standing by it for a moment and trying to stop my heart from racing.
"I'm not sneaking anywhere," Rye said, his voice lowered in a goofy imitation of what I'd said earlier. He jerked me out of my stupor and I swore at him before flopping down onto my bed. I sat back up and shoved the window open again, then turned over to face the wall, finally realizing I was rock hard. I yanked the blankets up to my shoulders and adjusted myself through my pants, hoping Rye would fall back to sleep as quickly as he had earlier. It would take a little bit of relief if I wanted to get any sleep before what was looking to be the most awkward morning this house had ever seen.
Thank you guys for all the amazing reviews, the incredible support, and for just being all around awesome. The number of people following and favoriting this story is just incredible. As always, you can find my husband and I on tumblr (yourpeetaisshowing and alonglineofbread, respectively). Stop by, say hello, ask questions. We love talking to you guys. For real. Hi.