Author's Notes: Here we are with chapter thirteen! Dirty times ahead! I won't say when, or where, or any of the juicy details, but just know that this chapter will definitely be rated M. Haha! So please enjoy. ;)

Gatorsnacks: No ruining the fun...don't worry, it all works out in the end! Nathaniel's wonderful! :D

"You still remember the way, right, Commander?"

Nathaniel gave Thayer and Alistair a grin, taking a few quick steps ahead up and over the hill leading to Vigil's Keep. The trip from Kirkwall had been long and arduous, as was always the case when traveling by boat. Thayer wondered why he kept doing it when he'd sworn himself he wouldn't. Maybe he just liked to torture himself.

With spring in full bloom now, the path to the keep was paved in lush greenery and blossoming trees. A sweet smell swept through with the cool afternoon breeze. They'd timed their walk perfectly: spring afternoons in Ferelden were the best time to experience the nation at its most beautiful.

Vigil's Keep looked vaguely different than Thayer remembered leaving it—the stone walls were smoother, more polished. The grounds carried more individuals and more carts than it had before. How could so much have happened in just a few months?

"Ah, Warden-Commander!"

Seneschal Varel stepped down the stairs leading to the throne room, offering a brief wave in greeting. For the first time ever, Thayer saw the man in just a simple set of finery.

"Seneschal Varel! Look at you. No armor on? Never thought I'd see the day."

Varel laughed. "Repairs, ser. My armor is being remodeled and upgraded by Wade. He found some new materials and decided he wanted to have us all in new spring sets." The older man folded his arms over his chest, taking in the sight of Thayer's companions. His eyes widened. "Alistair! You've returned!"

Alistair smiled. "Yep, back from the great abyss, I am."

"You know, while the Warden-Commander was out, I was tempted to go search for you in Redcliffe, but I decided against it. How's Arl Eamon doing?"

Thayer and Alistair shared a look of relief. The blonde said, "He's doing well now. Tip top shape. Couldn't be better, really."

"Ah, yes, well, fantastic. That should allow you both to take the reins back. Things have been relatively easy-going here, but you know, the day to day can only be dealt with so much. There is plenty that only the Wardens can assist with. And above all, the arl, himself."

Thayer nodded in agreement. "Yes, please, fill us in on the status of the keep since my departure. Shall we head to the throne room?"

"You've only just arrived, Commander," Nathaniel said in concern. "You don't want to take a break? That was a long trip."

"No, I'm perfectly fine. No need to worry."

Thayer waved his hand in dismissal, starting for the steps to the throne room. It was better to learn what they were coming into as early as possible. In his experience, learning upfront gave him more time to plan ahead. Spontaneity was better saved for Alistair, who seemed to handle things on the fly and somehow survive. Thayer, on the other hand, calculated wherever possible.

"Well, Commander, here is the present state of things…"

Seneschal Varel proceeded to explain how things in the keep had been since his sojourn. The Wardens who had survived the Joining prior to Thayer's departure had worked with the new recruits, all of whom were prepared to undergo the ceremony. Varel had held off performing it only because the decision lay with Thayer. Now that he had returned, they could become full-fledged Wardens and their numbers would once again increase.

The mage recruits had become restless due to having nobody to watch over them and their growth, and as such had begun to slowly seclude themselves from the others. It had proved to be of little consequence until recently, as it had been rumored that Thayer would not be returning.

"Well, they don't have to worry about that," he said firmly.

Varel discussed the growth of the keep and the city. Their recovery following the destruction of the Architect and the darkspawn had staggered at first, however recently it had become steady. The main concern was how revenue seemed to decrease in spite of this. That was something Thayer would have to investigate by visiting the city itself—the main port of business.

Thayer couldn't believe the news that followed.

"Leliana…seems to have disappeared."

Nathaniel confirmed this. "We weren't entirely sure what happened. She was here the day before I left for Kirkwall. She was supposed to go with me. I went to check on her in the morning and all of her things were packed up. She left a note, but it only said 'Good-bye'."

Thayer's natural reaction was disbelief. How could she simply disappear?

"She didn't say anything about it to anyone?" he inquired.

"Nothing," Varel confirmed.

"That's not like her," Alistair said, shaking his head. "She isn't the type to just up and leave."

Feelings of betrayal bubbled up inside of Thayer until reality slapped him across the face.

He'd done the same thing not but a few months prior.

Thayer wanted to say something right then and there, but in truth, it was something only he and Alistair would understand. Varel and Nathaniel, while wonderful men in their own right, had not been through hell and back like he and his partner had been with Leliana. He wondered what had caused her to leave, wondered where she had gone...and mostly importantly, if she was coming back.

"With any luck, she'll come back," Thayer said. He tried not to show too much concern. He didn't want Varel thinking he would up and leave to go find her after only having just returned. "I may send someone to search for her, but knowing Leliana, she had some reason. She always does."

He looked to Nathaniel. "I suppose that means the duty of looking over our rogues falls solely to you, now."

Nathaniel nodded. "First Zevran, now Leliana. Don't worry, Commander. I'm not going anywhere any time soon. You can count on me. The new Wardens can assist me in training recruits as they've been doing."

Thayer swelled with pride at the loyalty that rang in Nathaniel's words. Even after disappearing as he had for months on end, Howe's son had stayed at the ready. It meant a lot to him.

But Leliana...

He hoped she was all right.

"That's it, for the most part, Commander. There's more we can discuss tomorrow, after you've had a chance to recuperate from your travels." Seneschal Varel straightened out his shirt and cleared his throat. He moved to stand. "While you and Alistair retire to your quarters, I'm going to see about having a welcome dinner put together." He smiled genuinely. "Welcome back, Commander. Alistair."

"Thank you," the two said in unison.

Nathaniel stood as well. He took a brief bow. "If you need me, Commander, I'll be in the combat room."

Thayer waited until both Varel and Nathaniel were out of the throne room to let out a deep sigh. He rubbed his forehead, creating lines on top of the creases already present.

"I can't believe she's gone."

"Me, either. Who'd've thought she'd just up and disappear?"

"Not me, for one." The mage worried his lip. "We just barely missed her…what would have been so important that she wouldn't leave us a note?"

Alistair snapped his fingers. "She very well could have. They didn't check our room, did they?"

A glimmer of hope. Thayer blinked, but nodded in agreement. He was up before he realized it. "Come on, let's check."

Though they had been away for quite some time, it took little effort to find their way through the maze of the keep toward the living quarters. When they stepped into their room, both began combing over each and every available surface to try and find a letter. Thayer's search turned up nothing. Alistair's, however, resulted in a triumphant shout.

"Found it!"

The two of them met at their sitting table near the cobblestone fireplace. In Alistair's hands was a simple piece of parchment paper rolled up with a ribbon Thayer recognized as one of Leliana's hair ties. Written in Leliana's elegant script across the small tag she'd attached was Thayer's name.

"Well, open it, come on, then!" Thayer urged.

Alistair fumbled with undoing the tie. As the parchment unfolded before them, he turned it to his partner in a clear gesture of go on, read it.

And so, Thayer read aloud:

"Thayer,

When you read this, I will be gone. I must trust that whatever reason you left for was a private matter for you and you alone. I hope you've returned safely and find this note in good health.

I wish we'd had a chance to say good-bye. You have been a most outstanding friend and leader. I will remember you always. You inspired me in more ways than I can explain. Perhaps someday you'll hear the story I've written about you sung by bards everywhere. It is my dream to share your journey—our journey—through Ferelden and beyond.

You may be asking where I've disappeared to. I've gone to seek a greater truth. I must do what's best for me. I feel as if there is no better time but now.

May we meet again, my friend. Bonne chance!

Always,

Leliana"

Thayer quickly wiped a tear from his eye. It had come out of nowhere, stealth-like. He didn't realize that Leliana's absence would affect him so powerfully. Then again, as she'd alluded to, they'd never had a chance to say good-bye.

"Sure knows how to write a letter, doesn't she?"

When the mage looked at his companion, he realized Alistair had a few tears in his eyes as well. Despite himself, he chuckled, moving closer to wipe one away with his thumb.

"You big softie. This is why I love you."

"Yes, well, I'm quite the sap, didn't you know?"

Thayer looked over Leliana's letter again before slowly rolling it up and tying it with her hair tie. He set it atop their sitting table and stared at it for a moment.

He had always known that someday, both Zevran and Leliana would leave his side, just as Wynne, Sten, Morrigan, Anders, Velanna and Sigrun had. There was something inexplicably tough, however, about losing Leliana. It felt like a light had been snuffed, and would never be rekindled again.

"I hope wherever she is, she's okay," Alistair said.

"A greater truth…"

Thayer had a feeling she'd returned to the Chantry. In that case, he wished her the best. Part of her would always ache for the thrill of battle, he knew, but she found much more solace in the arms of the Maker. Strange, he thought, that she would choose now, of all times, to leave. He would miss her dearly.

He closed his eyes.

Yet another good-bye.

. . . . .

Thayer stirred underneath the soft down cover of his bed, bleary eyes opening and taking in the glowing morning light. As he stretched his arms above his head he took a moment to revel in the warmth of the sun's rays. He rubbed his face with his hands, then rolled to the side. He began to say something and then stopped.

Alistair wasn't there.

Bemused, the mage blinked. Where could he have gotten off to?

"Alistair?" he called.

When no reply came, Thayer climbed out of bed and stretched once more. He was likely in the bathroom. While he waited for the other, he dressed himself, slipping in to some common robes he could wear around their living quarters until he was ready to start the day.

After a few minutes passed and Alistair still did not turn up, Thayer decided he was going to double check his previous suspicion. He wandered down the hall and into the bathroom. To his surprise, the entire room was pristine, as if it hadn't been used in days.

Strange…

Maybe he's in the eatery, Thayer thought.

He returned to their bedroom, prepared to change into something more presentable, when he noticed a single roll of parchment sitting atop their bed. At first he brushed it off as Leliana's letter, until something drew his eyes in: Alistair's familiar scrawl.

He approached the bed and opened the letter, unease building within him.

Thayer found it hard to focus on what was written on the parchment, and yet somehow, his brain was able to piece together the only important information: Alistair had left.

The thought didn't compute. Where did he go? How had he left without Thayer waking up? What was this?

Anxiety overtook him then; Thayer found it difficult to concentrate. Everything he had worked so hard for, had fought for—gone. It couldn't be, he thought. This simply could not be.

"Alistair?" he called, rushing out of their quarters and down the hall.

He hurried through the keep and toward the eatery, hoping beyond all hope that he'd find his lover there, chowing down on a ham and cheese croissant. Strangely enough, not a single soul was present.

Adrenaline pumped through his veins, sending his feet on a direct course for the throne room. Again, no one. The combat room—nobody. The prison—not a soul.

"Alistair!" Thayer yelled out on the grounds, overwhelmed with a growing sense of hysteria.

He couldn't have left. They had fixed their problems, hadn't they? By Andraste, he'd gone all the way to Kirkwall! This was preposterous!

"Alistair! Alistair!"

Thayer couldn't contain himself any longer. He cried out, exasperation and fear swallowing him whole. His surroundings obscured, blacking out at the corners until they faded away completely.

"Alistair!"

"Thayer. Thayer, wake up!"

Thayer awoke with a start. He shot straight up, clutching at his chest. His heart raced. He took in several sharp breaths, exhaling with visible vapor. His nightmare had broken his focus on his magic, causing him to drastically reduce the surrounding temperature.

He looked beside him, finally realizing the warmth on his bare shoulder. It came from Alistair's hand, who was holding on firmly, worry etched into his features.

"Thayer. Maker, are you all right?"

Relief washed over him in waves. Driven completely on instinct and adrenaline, Thayer moved in and kissed Alistair passionately. He caught the other off guard, but within moments he was responding. The mage urged his partner back down against the bed, continuing to kiss him with every fiber of his being. There was no describing how he felt—something had taken him over, and he needed to express it.

The two men continued to explore one another's bodies: kissing, caressing, and grinding until Thayer pulled back, burying his face into the other's neck.

"I'm so glad you're here," he whispered breathlessly against the hot, flushed skin.

"I'm not going anywhere," Alistair said, a hint of confusion in his voice.

He groaned as Thayer suddenly took hold of his manhood. The mage began to stroke it, lightly at first, quickly building a rhythm that made Alistair moan in encouragement. He continued to lavish the warrior with his mouth, unable to get enough of the physical contact between the two of them. He moved his lips from the muscled neck up his jaw line and finally to his ear. Alistair's stubble scratched and itched, but he ignored it.

"Alistair, I need you inside me," Thayer groaned, nuzzling his lover's ear.

The blond nodded, grunting as the two of them shifted. Alistair took charge at that moment by guiding Thayer onto his back against the bed, climbing in between his legs. He spit into his palm and gripped hold of his erection, shuddering.

They shared only a look before he gently pushed in. Though it hurt, Thayer did his best to overlook it. He'd learned to work his way through the first few minutes of pain. Alistair pushed deeper inside, waiting momentarily before beginning to build a rhythm of his own. As time went on, his thrusts became deeper, faster—soon he was leaning over, his muscles glistening with a light sheen of sweat.

As their bodies rocked together, Thayer stroked his own length, unable to tear his gaze away from the focus and intensity within Alistair's eyes.

"Nngh, Thayer, I'm—oh...!"

Alistair slipped out with just enough time to experience his climax. He rode through it with his eyes clenched shut, spilling himself onto Thayer's lower half. As he began to come down from the high, his flushed chest heaved with deep breaths.

Thayer fell into ecstasy as his own climax took him over shortly after. He spilled onto his stomach, every inch of his body coiling and springing outward. A shiver traveled up his spine and caused him to tremble. He hadn't felt an orgasm that intense in quite some time—not since the first time they had had sex following their reunion.

The warrior, still hovering over the mage, slowly lowered himself until he was lying atop him. Thayer wrapped his arms around him tightly, eagerly. He stroked his fingers through the blond strands of hair and closed his eyes. He was spent.

"Don't go anywhere," Thayer murmured softly.

Alistair sighed in contentment. Thayer could tell he was enjoying the gentle touches on his scalp, down his back and over his freckled shoulders.

Whatever had taken him over had apparently been sated. With their proximity, Thayer was already beginning to feel like himself again. The haze that came post coitus had finally faded, allowing him to recall his nightmare with more clarity. He had been so heartbroken and terrified at the idea of Alistair leaving.

Eventually he let the other slip away beside him. After cleaning himself off with a handkerchief nearby Thayer rolled over and faced him.

Alistair murmured, "Are you okay, love? Where did that come from? Not that I'm complaining…"

"Nightmare. You just…left. I broke down."

Alistair spoke more seriously than before. "I'm never going anywhere. You know that, right?"

"I know. I think it was Leliana's letter."

"Mm…"

The blond reached out and brought Thayer close, sharing an intimate kiss with him. He urged him around, scooting himself close. The mage felt Alistair's heart beating against his back. It had fallen into its normal pace, calming and soothing.

"I love you," Alistair murmured against Thayer's ear. "Always."

"I love you, too," Thayer replied, curling his fingers around his lover's hand.