Despite the awkwardness from their previous conversation, because, let's face it, Tanith had done a few of those in the last year, it didn't stop her from meeting up with Garrus to spar whenever she couldn't sleep anymore.

Which happened more frequently than she cared to admit.

Garrus, to his credit, didn't say anything, but after about the tenth day of running only on stims, coffee, hand-to-hand sparring, and three hours of sleep, she was beginning to degenerate. It became second nature to recheck her work three times before she sent anything through, take cold showers whenever her screen got blurry, and avoid Doctor Chakwas like the plague. Thankfully, she still manage to catch herself from her dreams before she woke the shift she bunked with, but that was bound to end sooner or later.

Two weeks into this new pattern, she stopped being so lucky.

She bolted upright to find the bunkmates on either side of her half scrambling for their side-arms, panting and startled.

"Shit, Delano!"

"Fucking hell-"

"What was that?"

Mortified, she mumbled an apology. Someone croaked a joke about 'screaming wet dreams', and she managed a convincing chuckle. Still, moments later, when everyone had settled back down and sleep claimed the room, Tanith dressed quietly and made her way out to the mess hall. There'd be no more sleep for her again tonight.

The next night, she woke to find every occupant of the room staring at her, the sound of a horrified wail still reverberating through the room. She was covered in sweat, embarassed, running a hand over her face.

"I'm sorry, guys-" she stammered, mortified that she'd failed again.

"Jesus, Delano," muttered the woman who'd been sleeping across from her, a cheerful brunette named Rachel. Her expression wasn't one of anger or irritation. In fact, everyone Tani could see was gazing at her with that same expression.

It was sympathy.

"What?" Tanith stuttered.

Another crewman on the opposite side whispered, "What the hell did you see that makes you scream like that?"

An image flashed behind her eyes; Cerberus uniforms and her slaughtered friends; red hair above a wreckage of bone and blood where Kelly's face used to be.

The silence in the room stretched out. It's in this quiet that Tanith wraps her blanket around herself and yanks out the duffel in the locker she'd been given.

She knows it's not enmity or apathy that keeps them silent. No, it's respect for her wishes and her unspoken decision, and her admittance of the situation: she can't stop the terrors, and the crew needs to be rested. She knows she's not the only one with monsters in her head.

She pauses outside the closed door of the crew quarters, ignoring the fact that she's barefoot and wearing nothing more than panties and a tank-top. Taking a deep breath, she tries to consider her options. EDI's voice jars her from her thoughts.

"Crewman Delano," comes the AI's voice, modified low and soft; she sounds almost compassionate. "If I can offer a solution to your current situation?"

Tanith blinks, and then sighs. "Yes, EDI? Anything would be helpful right now," she whispers sadly.

"The engineering deck has a lower compartment that was once occupied by Jack during the Collector mission. If I recall correctly, it still contains a cot and a crate of bedding material. It's been casually used to stow excess supplies left around when we escaped Earth, but I'm sure it will suit your needs."

"EDI, that's a fantastic idea. I'll go there now. Thank you."

"You are most welcome. Please rest well, if you are able."

o0o0o0o00oo0o0o0o0o

"You look like hell, Tanith."

She looked up from where her hands were braced on the console, knowing Lorik's tone even through the comm projection; he was worried.

She waved a hand, trying to ease his concern. "I'm not sleeping well, is all. Don't worry, I'll talk to Doctor Chakwas about it." She even managed a weak smile.

He pulled his mandibles inward, brows furrowing, his dark face looking ominous. "You have no intention of doing that. Officer Vakarian has already told me you've been living off stimulants and coffee for weeks now."

Tanith twitched. "... he contacted you over my sleep habits?"

Lorik's image straightened, his hands going behind his back as he lifted his chin. "Garrus Vakarian and I have been exchanging correspondence for over a week now. He's quite worried about you."

She rubbed her hand over her eyes. This was supposed to be the break in her stress, a chance to flirt and joke and gossip. If she wasn't so tired, she'd probably have been angry. As it was, she just felt ... more tired.

"Look, Lorik... if you want to have an affair with Vakarian in lieu of me, go right ahead," she said wearily. "Not that I don't already feel like my boyfriend is pushing me into a relationship with another man, it's starting to get a little claustrophobic between the two of you. I'm about to tell both of you to back the fuck off." It wasn't, really, and she wasn't going to do anything at all; she just ... needed to hurt something, anything, to make herself feel better. Thankfully, Lorik was tougher than that.

"He told me about the ... conversation you had." He gave a small smile. "You're certainly doing your best to make the most of your loneliness and heartache. I'm shocked at your level of masochism. You have a willing, caring person there that's offering to help shoulder the burden of your fears, and you won't take it. Even with my blessing. I'm hoping, truly, sincerely hoping, that this isn't more of your silly human notions of loyalty and monogamy."

"You always do that. Cut right to what you see, blunt and plain with zero tact." She couldn't even fake the irritation he deserved; he was making too much sense. She moaned and rubbed her temples. She was so tired. "Gods... you're both so freakin' confusing." She leaned forward until her cheek was mashed against the console.

"And you're trying to simplify this into a sexual thing, Tanith. You forget, you've tried to do that before. With me. On Omega." WIthout looking up, she could hear his smile. "See where that got you?"

She grumbled, straightening enough to glare at him. "You just had to bring that up, didn't you?"

"If it was just sex, Tani, you wouldn't feel so conflicted. And he wouldn't be so keen on simply spending time with you as much as he has, regardless of your attempts to ignore it."

More sense. Garrus had always gone out of his was to be around her, to distract her-

Of a sudden, she flinched.

"Oh God. Am I that obvious?"

"My dear child, you are walking wounded. Your eyes would make krogans weep-"

She flapped her hands at him. "Alright alright! I get it already! Jeez."

He tilted his head at her, flaring his mandibles. Smug.

"Yeah yeah," she grumbled. "Wise old man. I got it."

"Will you talk to him then?"

"Yes. Tomorrow."

"Tani-"

"Look Lorik, I'm going to do it, I know I need the help. I just ... Let me try and sleep on it first."

"That shouldn't take long."

"Har har."

He leaned closer to her, his expression serious. "Please, Tani. You need to take care of yourself. You're all I'm looking forward to these days, even without knowing when we'll ever see each other again. I can't have you falling apart on me, a walking zombie of a person without joy or hope or the optimism I've loved you for. Even if all we get are words and smiles through light years and long distance, I want to know you're okay and not rotting away from trauma and emotional scarring." The sincerity in his voice was palpable. "Please. For me."