Where is she?
I haven't seen Ayano for a few days now. Strange, i thought she said that she needed tutoring?
I don't know, but she just wasn't the same, ever since i found her crying in the classroom. Recently, her smile seems a little bit out of place.
And that makes me a little uncomfortable, if not... Worried.
it's been some time now, after that particular event happened. the students are all wearing summer uniforms.
Then i remember that time in winter, when she shed tears in this very classroom, yet she still smiled when i talked to her.
And i remembered how i wasn't able to talk to her, she just shoved me away like that, and i did what i was told. She has done a lot for me, i admit that. and i want to pay her back somehow.
'Now where is she?'
As i thought about that, i noticed a few girls... I don't even remember their names. They came in, bringing a vase and some flowers. They were crying their eyes out, too.
What happened?
At first i didn't care, but then a bad feeling washed over me.
What if she... No, this is Ayano i'm talking about.
She looks like she's happy enough with her life, as evidenced by that omnipresent smile plastered on her face.
I looked at them anxiously. Those girls... They were heading toward the left side of my seat- no, her seat.
I just stared at her empty seat, dumbfounded. Did she really... No. No, it can't be. My disbelief was shared with the boys in the class, apparently.
"What's going on?"
"Ayano?"
"That girl?"
"No way." Those kinds of comments flew around the class.
They seemed curious, some of them not believing it. The same goes for me.
"Wait, what happened to Ayano?" Curious, i asked one of the girls.
"Ayano, she... She committed suicide."
...
For me, time stopped at that moment. Well, not in the truest sense, it's the feeling you get when you're at utter disbelief or in denial.
Did she really die? The same Ayano that i know?
There was so many questions i don't know where to start. Eventually, i found myself asking for details here and there, with the little acquaintances i know.
...
But the more questions answered, the more confused my mind became.
Ayano is dead. She died from jumping off the roof of the roof. She committed suicide.
All of them are facts, yet a part of me didn't want to accept it. Where is her body now, and who witnessed it?
The important question remains: why she did it.
(Scene change)
About two weeks later, school is still going on as usual. Life goes back to its previous state, bleak. Normal.
But what made me disgusted was how quickly they forgot her.
And how they pretended they knew her, especially the girls. They said things like how kind she was, to even befriend me, or how they guess incorrectly what she used to wear, like her hairpins.
Heh, thinking about it just wants to make me laugh.
Occasionally, i look over her empty seat. The flower vase is still there, but now the only one who changes its water is me.
After she left... i felt that a hole was made. No, it was already there all along. It's just that i haven't noticed it, until she came and left.
And now, i still haven't found the answer. Ironic, for a 'genius' like me.
Was that because she hid it so carefully that no one noticed, or it was just me... not wanting to know the answer.
Even though i tried, i really tried to know who her. I thought that maybe i was able to change with her around.
But she's gone now. And she won't come back.
End of chapter 4.