A/N: Thank you all so much for sticking with me and thank you all for the kind reviews, I'm sorry for taking so long to upload. I'd like you all to know that this is the beta stage of the fic, soon I'll be going back and edit a lot of parts of a lot of the chapters, expanding and such, I'll let you know when its all done, nothing to make you re-read it twice but if you want the full experience, I'd recommend waiting until its complete. Otherwise, please enjoy!

-Sixteen months later-

"Oh shut it, Merlin!" Arthur yelled. Morgana was not responsible for what Merlin was saying.

"No!" Merlin retorted defiantly. He placed his hands on his hips and gave Arthur a stern glare.

"What do you mean no? I am your Prince! You will do as I say!" Arthur bellowed, his face bright red in anger and fear. There was no truth to these accusations. Right?

Merlin briskly walked up to Arthur and wrapped his arms around him, catching him by surprise.

"M-Merlin?" Arthur questioned, his hands raised slightly, not reacting to Merlin's touch.

"You're so much more than that," Merlin whispered in Arthur's ear, nuzzling his neck. "I need you to trust me."

Arthur let his hand fall instinctively to Merlin's back while the other fell to his hair, curling a small section on the back of his neck with his index finger.

"I-I... I will take it into consideration. But we must not let a word of this reach my father," the Prince warned. He was doing his best to meet Merlin half way.

Merlin pulled back slowly, with wide eyes and a grin on his face. "Thank you, sire." He leaned in and kissed Arthur on the cheek before scampering away to the door.

Arthur sat down at his desk and Merlin left. W-What was that? Arthur wondered, his fingers lingering over the wet spot Merlin had left on his cheek.

-o-

The Knights paid well. Arthur was able to afford a mortgage on a new house with the bonus he had gotten last Christmas. He and Mithian were moving in a few days, and life was going to be grand. Right? Because to Arthur, a happy life meant being in love; it meant being able to share yourself with who you really want to be with, and he did love Mithian, but there was something there, something holding him back, something still lingering in the back of his head no matter how hard he tried to forget.

It was just a few months together. He doesn't mean anything anymore. I've moved on. It was a fling. He probably didn't even love me back. Just a fuck toy. Just for fun. He's dead, and there's nothing that can change that.

"Arthur?" Mithian asked as they unpacked their things. "There's something I need to show you." She took his hand and pulled him into the kitchen, where there were boxes scattered along the counter and drawers and cupboards wide open.

Arthur gave her a questioning look and she brought her hands out from behind her.

There, in the palms of her hands, was a small kitten.

"It's a kitty! I found it outside and I wanna keep it," she said as Arthur extended his hand and scratched the top of the kitten's head, ruffling its fur ruffled a little. It lifted its head to sniff his fingers.

"What do you wanna name him?" Mithian asked.

Arthur didn't have to think—not for long, anyway.

"Merlin."

-o-

Merlin woke up in a strangely familiar cave, where the water seemed to glow and reflected bright white lines along the crystals on the walls. Merlin slowly stood up, his muscles sore and his eyes tired. His breathing echoed in the chamber as he made his way towards the dim light that reflected down the tunnel.

The outside was bright, but different than the last time. The trees were purple with black leaves, the ground was black, and the sky looked scorched and dark.

"I see you're awake, Emrys."

Merlin spun around, almost losing his balance. When he regained himself, he saw a beautiful woman standing at the entrance of the cave. She seemed young, maybe only a few years older than him, and she had a knife and was using it to cut into an apple that was blue and pink. She gave him a sly look and Merlin finally realized he was naked and in his full morning glory, all a little stiff. He quickly covered himself and she chuckled. With the snap of her fingers he was dressed in a red, short sleeved shirt and some shorts.

"Perfect," the woman said and she wiggled her finger for Merlin to follow her. "I'm sure you have many questions, and I'm sure I have all the answers. So. Go. Ask your little heart away."

Merlin caught up to her and walked a little behind her as they moved along the plane, never really leaving the forest but never walking into the flat land.

Merlin asked the first thing that came to mind, though to be fair, his mind was still very foggy and he was very confused. "Where am I?"

"Really?" the woman retorted; she almost looked disgusted. "You're not going to ask who I am or why you're alive or 'Where is Arthur?'"

Merlin shook his head. "I was going to ask those! You didn't say I only had one question!"

"Hmm. That's fair I guess, but I'll just talk, how about that?" she said, chuckling. "My name is Nimueh. I'm a friend of Gaius, and I was once a friend to your father." Merlin's eyes widened but he kept his mouth shut—it was best to wait till she was done before asking more questions. "You are in Avalon, but you may also know this as The Fade, the In-Between, or Limbo. Arthur is still alive, and happy, for the most part."

Merlin nodded, doing his best to keep up with her. Nimueh noticed the weakness in his stride.

"You're weak because you died, Merlin." Merlin let out a shocked gasp and she looked down in guilt, biting her lip. "I tried to get out of the fire before it destroyed you, but I was too slow. It takes... time, to set up a portal from the mortal world to here and I'm not the all powerful witch I used to be. I was able to create a new body for you, and thank me," she giggled at her own joke, "that I was quick and wrapped your soul in this crystal." She held out a blue crystal that appeared to be faded and cracked. "I was able to save it for when your body fully regenerated. Your muscles, your eyes, this is the first time you've used them, so it's expected that you're a little weak and groggy. It'll wear off soon, I promise."

Merlin pinched his skin. It was a perfect replica; he didn't even notice it was different until she said something, but he could definitely feel it. I wonder if Arthur will notice it as well, Merlin thought.

"Arthur has... moved on, honey," Nimueh said, and rather bluntly at that.

Merlin stopped walking. Of course, he has.

But… Merlin knew that Arthur thought he was dead, and surely he couldn't hold on to Merlin's memory for forever.

"He's married now," Merlin winced at the word as Nimueh carried on, "and he even has his own home." She turned around and placed a hand on his shoulder. Merlin walked up close to her and rested his head on her own. "He still thinks about you, every day, but his life has changed for now, for the better, yeah? And you know that. He's away from the dangerous task that you are meant to do, alone."

Merlin couldn't look at her. He felt his magic boiling inside him. The thought of Arthur was the only thing that kept him going, but he knew this was for the best. Merlin was dangerous and he would only get Arthur killed... right? He also knew that once he eliminated the Purge, Arthur wouldn't have to be in the Knights anymore, and he could really live his life with his new... wife.

"Come love, look on the bright side, he's happy, yeah?" Nimueh comforted, pulling back and taking Merlin's hand and dragging him along. "Let me show you to your new home. There is a lot of work to be done."

-Twenty months later-

Mordred loved his toys. He loved the children his master gave to him, loved cutting them apart and putting them back together and then making them fight one another for food. If you had to ask Mordred for the best part of his day, he would answer that it was seeing how many organs he could remove before a child would die. The best he got was everything but the heart and skin before his little body finally gave out.

Mordred's magic was special and it was why Richard loved him. Mordred would make machines use magic, which was something no other sorcerer on the planet could do. He could make robots with souls, people with robotic limbs, enchant buildings to think and feel, even some non-machine things like rocks or fragments of metal, he could make them live.

But Mordred couldn't do those things with real people, and he hated that. He found out that by eating the flesh of others he could gain their knowledge of magic, but no matter how many people he ate, he still couldn't bend life to his will. So, for now, he'd have to make do with putting laser cannons on dogs and filling his stomach with human brain.

Oh how he loved the taste of raw flesh, as good as the screams before it.

-o-

"Where are we?" Arthur asked. His eyes were covered with a blindfold. He and Mithian had been walking from the car (she had blindfolded him the second they got in the car, and Arthur was quite annoyed that he had to wear a blindfold for over two hours) for at least a half an hour. They had just stopped but Mithian said nothing, and Arthur was left with just the sounds of rustling and clinking glass.

"Don't you open your eyes yet, Arthur," Mithian warned. There was a few more seconds of odd noises before Arthur felt Mithian behind him, undoing the knot in the scarf around his eyes.

Arthur's eyes had to adjust to the daylight. As everything came into focus he realized they were in a secluded place along the bank of a river. There was a small blanket with a basket and a wine bottle with accompanying glasses.

Merlin.

"Do you like it?" Mithian asked, her voice tender and loving. "I figured we should do something nice, and, well, this seemed perfect."

Arthur couldn't help but see Merlin and him rolling around on the grass, making fun of people walking by, stealing kisses, touching, cuddling, loving… No, stop it! He is DEAD, don't you understand? He's DEA—

"Arthur?" Mithian asked again. She was in front of him now, a concerned look on her face. Arthur thought she was uncomfortably close, but then again she was his wife. Arthur hated that word, with a passion, he did... love... Mithian, but it was more complex than that. She was great and everything he would ever want in a woman, but she wasn't Merlin.

"It's great, babe," Arthur replied. He gave her a forced grin and she gave him a never more concerned look. She knew something was up. "Really," Arthur continued, "it's just been a long week, and I'm just stressed, I'm sorry."

"No no!" Mithian defended. "Really, I understand." She took a few steps closer, until her breasts were against his chest. Arthur twitched in his pants. Her lips were so close to his. "We'll just relax here, okay?" she asked, biting her lip.

Arthur leaned in and kissed her. The entire time, he couldn't help but think how she didn't use her teeth enough; how her tongue was a little too short and how her mouth wasn't sweet enough. When she undressed him, he thought about how she didn't suck on him quite as tightly as she should, how her teeth would sometimes drag, how she completely neglected his balls and his arse. When they fucked, he couldn't help but realize that she didn't look at him the same way, she wasn't as tight around him, her hips were too wide and boney, her moans too forced and weak, she didn't move enough, she didn't bite, she didn't lick, she didn't do what he wanted her to instinctively do. And when he finished, he pulled out slowly, understanding that his orgasm was only mild, that his passion right then and there was chemical, not spiritual, she wasn't right... she wasn't Merlin.

She wasn't Merlin.

-o-

"Merlin."

"Will."

Merlin looked up from the table he was sitting at. It had been months since he first arrived at The Fade, and Will had been the only friend he had made. Like himself, Will was a strong warlock who had been saved by Nimueh from death, but unlike him, however, Will was forever bound to The Fade, due to some technicality that Merlin didn't understand too well.

"How are ya'?" Will asked. He picked up a stick of cheese from Merlin's plate and began to nibble on it. Merlin didn't look up. Will had been harassing him for months. He was cute and he liked Merlin but Merlin really wasn't interested. It was still too soon. But not soon enough for Arthur, it would seem.

"Merlin?" Will asked him again.

"I'm fine, William," Merlin replied, probably a little too cold, but he was trying to do his work. It was a lot like being in a university; there were classes taught by God-knows- what creatures, and courses and credits and degrees. It was like another world in there, even though the entire land was no bigger than London. It was strange, this world. They didn't have a lot of technology, but they did have simple things like electricity, toilets, etc, and the only thing that bothered Merlin was the lack of internet and computers. Porn was impossible to come by and since he was still broken over Arthur, he didn't get around to getting laid, even when he wanted to masturbate, all he could think about was Arthur's cock, hard, thick, not too long, maybe about five or six inches, but he knew how to use it, and, oh God, when Arthur would come in his mouth, the feeling of each pulse, the jets of come, his moans as he—

Merlin's train of thought was broken when he realized Will was awkwardly staring at Merlin, an eyebrow raised as if he knew exactly what he was thinking about. Merlin blushed, feeling naked, and then Will broke the ice. "Wanna go to a party tonight?"

"No." The response was quick and simple. Will has asked Merlin a million times if he wanted to do something that could possibly lead to sex and/or potential drug use. Merlin always took the high road.

"Please?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because."

"Because why?"

"Because I said so."

"Why do you say so?"

"Just because!"

"... Because why?"

Merlin slammed his hands down on the table and glared at Will, who had a smug grin on his face as if he had won a contest. Merlin almost thought that look was cute. Almost.

"If I go with you, will you shut up and let me work?" Merlin asked, irritated.

"Yes, sir!" Will responded, doing his best not to laugh through the words. but his eyes betrayed him. Merlin couldn't resist, something about Will was—Arthur.

"Fine, what time?" Merlin asked, defeated and slightly irritated, his good mood deflated by that one singular thought. Merlin realized he was almost scowling and he threw a half smile up, hoping Will didn't notice.

"Eight. I'll pick you up." Will gave Merlin a crooked smile, got up, and walked away.

-o-

Richard laughed as Hunith bit herself over and over again with her snake fangs. She screamed with each bite but she had to do it, she had to free herself from this life.

"You stupid bitch." Richard laughed. "If you knew anything about snakes, you'd know that you're immune to your own venom."

Hunith stopped biting herself. She leaped at the cage bars, causing Richard to flinch. A scowl broke out on his face. He pulled a picture of Arthur out of his pocket and then held up his gauntlet.

"You will find him, do you understand me?" Richard commanded. His eyes were black and cold. Hunith felt his thoughts seeping into her mind like the venom she so desperately tried to force into herself. "You will find him and you will kill him. I know he didn't die in the fire, and I know he knows about me. We can't have that, can we?" Richard smiled at Hunith and then closed his eyes. Hunith fell to the ground, screaming through every larynx she had. Mordred clapped excitedly as he watched her flail and as she tried so hard to refuse the orders he was giving her.

Richard opened his eyes and smiled, unlocking the gate. He watched Hunith step out and bow her head.

"Good Frankenstein," Richard joked. "Now go!"

Hunith's body began to phase and in an instant she was gone, the magic of the cell no longer restricting her movement. Richard clapped and looked to Mordred.

"You gave her that power, did ya'?" Richard asked.

Mordred nodded and clapped again.

"You're... you're really something, you know that?" Richard smiled at Mordred and walked over to a large metal door. He opened it, and inside was the sleeping body of a teenager, no older than fourteen. Mordred walked on all fours over to the door and laughed. His disgusting shrill voice echoed through the small metal room the boy was locked in, startling him and causing him to wake from his own nightmare into the nightmare that Richard had created for him.

"I know you like them young, but this is all I have."

Richard left the metal door opened and walked out of the laboratory. As he reached the top of the steps of the basement, two floors up, he could hear the faintest of screams. He smiled.

-o-

The party was louder and more obnoxious than Merlin had expected. An entire night of studying, of being one step closer to saving the world (Arthur), wasted because Will couldn't stop harassing him. Merlin and Will walked up to the large house that was one of the frats that Merlin didn't associate with. He could tell by the screaming and the scent of vomit and alcohol in the air that this was going to be a long night.

"Merlin, can you at least try to look cheerful?" Will asked. Merlin shot him a dirty look.

"I told you I didn't want to come." Merlin replied coldly. He crossed his arms over his chest and walked ahead of Will into the house. He needed alcohol. Now.

-o-

"I like you."

Merlin turned to find Will standing behind him with a half empty bottle of rum in his hand. He had a stupid grin on his face and his cheeks were bright red. He swayed as he tried to keep balance. Merlin gave him a questioning gaze while Will stood there, giving him eyes that could only be read as I want to try to make babies with you.

"I like you a lot," Will continued, and a broken smile crossed his face. There was a twinkle in his eye. Merlin had to stop this before his drinking got out of hand and he tried to sleep with someone, or worse, tried to sleep with him.

"Right then," Merlin responded, rolling his eyes. "Look, you're pissed. Let's get you home, yeah?"

Merlin took Will's arm and placed it over his shoulder, and together they stumbled out of the house and down the street to where Will lived. Merlin could feel Will's eyes on him the entire time.

-o-

Merlin laid Will down onto his bed. He pulled his quilt up to cover him. Will took an opening and quickly leaned up to kiss Merlin on the lips, using his right arm to pull him towards him. Merlin grunted and pulled back, pushing Will away and stumbling backwards towards the door.

"What do you think you're doing?" Merlin yelled.

Will flinched at his anger, but he didn't draw away completely. "I see you look at me!" he screamed back. "I see you, I see you look at me and then you like," he swallowed hard, "like—you look at me like you want something, like you want me, okay? But then, like, right after wards I see your eyes drift to the floor and I can see you, Merlin, I can see you thinking about him yeah? And then that look goes away and you just look at me like I'm..." Will took another hard swallow and looked deep into Merlin's eyes. "Like I'm disgusting."

Merlin took a few steps towards Will who was obviously very broken in his drunken state. Merlin sat next to him and wrapped an arm around him, pulling Will's head into his chest.

"I just... I just want a chance," Will begged. "I know I'm not as smart or as pretty as-"

"Will, come on," Merlin interrupted, scratching the hair on Will's head. "You know it's not like that. You're wonderful and amaz—"

"Then why!" Will yelled. He sat up and almost fell over and Merlin had to lean in close to catch him. Their faces were only inches apart. "Then why won't you just give me one night... to show you that I can be, maybe someone you want..."

Will was less than an inch from Merlin's mouth. His lips gently brushed against Merlin's and Merlin pushed his head forward, wrapping his arm around Will and pulling him in.

Maybe it was time to stop living in the dream world that Arthur was going to take him back.

William pulled Merlin on top of him. Merlin's mouth was hot and wet again his own. He ran his fingers up Merlin's shirt and caressed his back, trailing down lightly until he slid his hands under Merlin's pants and gripped his arse.

Maybe it was time to stop thinking about all the reasons Will wasn't right, why he wasn't Arthur, and time to start thinking about why he was right, why it's good that he's not Arthur.

Merlin kissed Will's neck and took his shirt off, then removed his own. He licked and bit at one of Will's nipples until it was slick and hard. He unbuttoned Will's pants and slid his hand down, stroking and twisting his hand around Will, making him groan and hiss. Will did the same thing back, latching his teeth onto Merlin's chest as Merlin stroked him, then reaching up and pulling Merlin's head down into a deep, wet, and sloppy kiss.

Maybe it was time to stop reliving the past and start living for the future.

Will removed his pants and then Merlin's. They lay on top of each other, grinding, kissing, biting, touching. Merlin couldn't hold out for much longer, all this time with no one to touch like this, and he felt himself let go. Will bucked his hips and Merlin bit down on his neck, coaxing Will into his own orgasm.

Merlin fell asleep there that night, cuddled into Will's arms.

Maybe it was time to move on.

-Twenty-four months later-

Merlin interlocked his fingers with Arthur's hand. They were lying on the grass somewhere in the middle of nowhere; a place that Arthur said was his haven as a boy, a meadow with a large tree in the middle. Arthur turned on his side, laying his head on Merlin's chest.

"You're never going to leave me, right?" Arthur asked. He buried his face deeper into the tattered cloth of Merlin's servant clothes, inhaling deep, taking in his scent, his odor, his essence. It was intoxicating, it made him hard and hot and sad and happy and in love.

"That's a stupid question, surely sire." Merlin chuckled. Arthur looked up at him. He wasn't laughing. Merlin sat up and cradled Arthur's head in his lap.

"Of course not you silly plonker," Merlin joked, his voice morphed then, into a more tender and loving tone. "I would never leave you, ever. Not in this life, or the next, or the one after that. I promise, we'll always find each other."

"Good," Arthur mumbled into Merlin's leg. His words were still ringing in Arthur's ears, causing his heart to race. He believed every word. Merlin was a powerful wizard; surely he could make something like that happen. His mind drifted to what it would have been like if he had been forced to marry that Mithian princess from across the way and shuddered at the thought. Only one person was good enough for Arthur, good enough to be his prince, his lover, his best friend, his soul-mate, and that was Merlin. Only ever Merlin.

"I can't imagine life without you, Merlin," Arthur confessed after an eternity of thoughts and fears. "I just... can't."

-o-

"Are you ready, Merlin?" Nimueh asked.

Merlin nodded. The green portal in front of him showed the way to the gates of a party.

"Now do not forget. The disguising spell will break if someone finds out who you really are, so be sure not to drop any hints. You'll seem odd just because of the way the magic works, so don't do anything suspicious. And remember, the target is Mordred. He must be killed, whatever the cost."

"Wait!"

Merlin turned around to see Will running up to him. He pulled Merlin close and kissed him deeply. Merlin brought his hands around him and held him close.

"For good luck, yeah?" Will whispered into Merlin's ear while twirling his finger in hair.

"Yeah, thanks," Merlin replied, smiling. "I'm going to need it."

-o-

"Right, sir," Arthur replied. He saluted his higher up.

"Do the Knights proud boy, slay that sick son of a bitch," the commander said.

Arthur compressed his sword into a small disc and slipped it into his pocket. He tugged the tie on his suit and pulled out his invitation. It was time to bring Mordred to justice, for his wife, for his mother and father, but most of all, for the memory of Merlin, so he didn't die in vain.

Arthur left the building and entered into a limo waiting outside for him. Gwen was the driver, and Morgana was already waiting.

Together, the three of them were going to bring Mordred to his knees, and slice his fucking head off, and Arthur was going to love every second of it.

Merlin stepped through the portal. His faux-face was that of a beautiful brunette woman. He could lure Mordred away with that. He had a fetish for carving beautiful people. Merlin walked up to the front door and handed the guard his invitation.

"Right this way, Freya," the man said, handing back Merlin's invitation. He stood aside. Merlin thanked him and entered the huge ball room that had hundreds of investors, friends, and family of Richard, but most importantly, somewhere in this crowd, there was also Mordred.

It's time.