I hope i'm not doing to badly. Any suggestions tho' can only make me a better writer so...

Any comments or suggestions, you can mail me at
I don't handle criticism well, so... please be gentle.

Disclaimers:-
Paramount, or someone other than myself, owns these people, their ship and, i imagine, some parts of the universe thru which they travel.
If you think i'm likely to make any money outta this, you obviously haven't read the story yet :-)
This story may contain some slightly naughty words, same-sex relationships, very minor violence and bad coffee. Sorta like a toned-down version of the real world.
I don't hold a degree in medicine, astrophysics, biology or anything else for that matter, so if i try to say something techie and it makes no sense, just make like it does :-)

..Here & Now..

by MoJoR.

Chapter Eight.

The next few days were almost a blur to Kalya as she said goodbye to her life on D'jeri and began making a place for herself on Voyager. There was so much to learn, so much information she needed to understand in order to function adequetely in her new position. She humbled herself enough to ask the computer to start her in primary childrens lessons, feeling overwhelmed when she asked for specific information. The lessons, when taylored to suit herself were actually a lot of fun.

Initially, Kayla had attempted to bridge the gap between the knowledge she had from her life on Earth, and the obviously more advanced medical knowledge of the 24th century. After a full day of going nowhere, she changed her attack, and in the mean time had found a hundred other areas of interest in the computer data banks.

As Voyagers new medical assistant, she now had a schedule of classes she had set herself for each day. Upon waking, she would engage in one hour gentle exercise. Followed by an hour of Earth/ Federation history, two hours of basic sciences, and an hour of mathemathics. After lunch, she would report to the Doctor for her lessons in basic humanoid anatomy, followed by an hour of advanced cardio-vascular exercise. After showering, she would allow an hour of personal study, initially preparing a report on this area for the Captain but hopefully soon she would move onto Starfleet protocols and Voyagers own history. Any time after dinner was her own.

And tonight, Kayla had been invited to the holodeck by the Captain. Apparently there was an informal gathering where she would have the chance to meet some of the crew. Apart from the Captain, Seven and the Doctor, Kayla had met Neelix, Tuvok and Naomi Wildeman but there was apparently another hundred and fifty odd to go! It was a little unnerving to be greeted by name by total strangers. Being the only new crew member, even people she had never met knew who she was.

Captain Janeway had mentioned that some of her bridge officers occasionally relaxed together on the holodeck and it was as good an opportunity as any to get to know them. Kayla was both dreading and looking forward to it. While keen to integrate herself into Voyagers crew, she still felt like an outsider, as though she were a tag-along. Her meetings with the Doctor had been encouraging but there was so much to learn. She had hoped to be a little more settled in her position before having to meet the senior officers.

They had left orbit of D'jeri during the last shift and were now heading towards the Renari system. It had been suprisingly hard to leave. For all that she had never been happy there, it had been her home. After speaking briefly to Merga, she had contacted Lon, the only other person who was likely to notice that she had gone, and care. The young D'jeri woman worked outside the city as a tailor and for a while, the two had been friends. Although Kayla was no longer permitted to see Lon, Merga had given her access to his communications console to say goodbye. It had been good to speak to her once more, to leave on good terms. Lon had seemed to feel the same way Kayla did about leaving, a little sad but mostly relieved. She had said she would write before leaving comm range, and Lon had said she would reply.

Since coming back on board, Kayla had set about organising herself and her quarters. Although there wasn't much furniture in her room, everything was now exactly where she wanted it. Merga had given her a small globe of D'jeri and a Tereg plant, both of which now had a place in her new home. She then set up a personal log and had spent the last hour talking to the computer while she waited for 20:00 hours.

"So I can have the environmental controls adjusted in my quarters?"

"Affirmative." the computer answered abligingly.

"Increase by one degree kelvin." Kalya decided, to be answered by a confirming chirp. "Decrease illumination by 2 candlepower." Another chirp. "Much better."

"Can you replace your morning call with music?" Kayla asked after thinking for a moment.

"Please specify musical preferences."

"Oookaaay. What have you got?"

"There are over six million different composers currently on file."

"Narrow selection to early 21st Century- late 20th Century popular music and select a song from random each morning." Another chirp signaled the action was completed and Kayla wondered exactly how far she could go with her modifications.

"When we're talking, can you replace your chirpy noise with something else?" It was worth a shot.

"Please specify."

"Something more personal, conversational. You choose."

"Okay." the computer responded in it's expressionless monotone.

Kayla sighed and leant her head back against the wall behind her bed.

"This is ridiculous. I think I need get out and talk with some people instead of trying to create a friend." she said, half to the computer and half to herself as she crawled off the bed and into the adjoining bathroom. *It may have been a while since I had a chat but the computer is the last damn thing I should be talking to.* Kayla thought as she got dressed for tonight.

Seven arrived promptly at ten to eight and Kayla was a little worried when she saw the taller woman had a different suit on. A nice blue one actually, but not the uniform Kayla had seen her wear the past few days.

"You're wearing something different." Kalya said as soon as Seven entered the room.

"You are wearing a towel." Seven replied a little confused.

"I was waiting to find out what you had on. I never thought to ask the Captain what was appropriate tonight." Kayla had hoped the dark green suit she had replicated for herself while on duty would be okay.

"As I do not wear a Starfleet uniform, this is one of the suits I regularly have replicated." Seven picked up the suit which lay drapped over the back of the couch. "I am sure this will be acceptable."

"Does everyone else wear their uniforms?" Kayla persisted.

"I rarely join the crew after hours but Captain Janeway wore her uniform the last time I participated."

"She is the Captain. What about the crew?"

"I do not recall." Seven replied impatiently.

"Okay, No big deal, I know. I'm just nervous Seven." Kayla took the suit off Seven and headed into the bedroom to get changed.

"You wish to make a good 'first impression' with your crew mates. I understand."

"Thanks. I'm counting on you to help me out tonight. Tell me who everyone is and who I should talk to." Kayla yelled from the other room.

"I will endeavour to be of assistance."

"Good enough for me. Okay then, I guess we should be going." Slipping on a pair of small boots, Kayla took a deep breath and went to stand next to her friend.

"There is no reason to worry, Four of Twelve."

Kayla grinned broadly at Seven and the use of her Borg designation.

"Then let's go get 'em Seven of Nine." Kayla took the ex-drone by the arm as they headed out the door.

Chapter Nine.

As the holodeck doors opened, Kayla was suprised to see a room that looked remarkably like one of the bars she frequented back on Earth. The walls and floors were polished timber with seating around one side of the room. A woman was serving drinks from behind the bar which ran along the opposite wall. Directly in front of her, a number of people were gathered around a pool table.

"Pool? You still play pool?" Kayla asked Seven, more than a little suprised that the game would still be popular.

"Apparently so." Seven answered, knowing almost nothing of the game herself.

Kayla scanned the room looking for familiar faces. She recognised a few as people who had visited sickbay during her lessons but no-one who she had had the opportunity to talk to.

One of the familiar faces looked up as they walked towards the table and smiled. After speaking to the woman next to him, they both left their group and moved to greet the newcomers.

"Good evening Seven." Tom Paris smiled charmingly at the two woman, "Kayla, I'm Tom and this is B'Elanna." He gestured to the half-Klingon woman at his side as he introduced them both.

B'Elanna offered her hand for Kayla to shake and smiled hello at Seven. She had heard a whole lot of conflicting rumours about Kayla and had been annoyed that she hadn't had the opportunity to meet her before now. It would be nice to have someone new to talk to on board.

"So, how's the Doc treating you?" Tom asked conversationally.

"He has been wonderful. I've got a lot to learn." Kayla replied.

"It's great that he'll have someone to help him out, Gets me off the hook at least!"

At this B'Elanna gave a short laugh, "Not that you needed it. You always managed to find a way to get out of helping the Doctor, anyway."

"Some people are meant to be nurses. Others, are meant to fly starships." He answered, pretending to be offended.

"What function do you serve on Voyager?" Kayla enquired looking to them both. While she could see that everyone here was relaxing off duty, Kayla still felt uneasy not knowing the rank of those around her. The D'jeri placed so much importance on a person's rank or position that Kayla felt a little off centre being surrounded by her superiors in such a casual atmosphere.

"Do you want to sit down?" B'Elanna asked as she stepped back towards the tables. Tom motioned to the woman behind the bar for service as the group took a seat. After settling themselves at a table, B'Elanna answered Kayla's question. "I'm Voyager's Chief of Engineering and Tom serves on the bridge as Conn Officer."

B'Elanna could see that Kayla wasn't quite comfortable and decided she couldn't blame her. It must be unsettling to be surrounded by so many unfamiliar faces. Especially if her only friend so far was the Borg. She had made a simliar comment to Chakotay yesterday and the Commander had indicated that Kayla had more in common with Seven than anyone else on board. B'Elanna had wanted to know more but he had been called back to the bridge before he could continue.

B'Elanna could see his point though. Both had to survive alone in the Delta quadrant without family or friends for support. And both had to start anew on a ship filled with strangers. B'Elanna at least had had her comrades from the Maquis.

"Do you know much about the area of space we're travelling thru at the moment, Kayla?" Tom asked, trying to keep the conversational ball rolling.

"A little. Not first hand but you hear bits and pieces working near the station." Actually, Kayla new more than a little about the surrounding systems, but Captain Janeway had suggested that while her former life as a Borg drone should not be kept a secret, it was probably something best not bought up in casual conversation. Apparently the Captain's first officer and security cheif both were aware of Kayla's past but the remainder of her senior staff were yet to be informed. The Captains opinion was that she should get to know the crew, make friends and choose for herself who she wished to share her history with in more detail. She had also stressed however, that at any time in the future, should it be necessary for the safety of her ship or any crew member, it would be made public.

During her time with the D'jeri, Kayla had realised that the Borg were feared and despised by a great many races. The circumstances of her own assimilation, had luckily shielded her from the anxiety the majority of others experienced. Kayla simply woke up, and was Borg. Already integrated into the Collective, she had no doubts as to the correctness of their actions, the purity of their ideals. It was not until she had lost the Collective that she was able to apply any perspective to what the Borg represented. The Borg had given her her life, they had given that life purpose and structure. Yet they took so much from so many others. For the time being, she would not mention her past, but she refused to be ashamed it.

"Any nice spots for a vacation?" Tom continued, eternally hopeful.

"Veragon IV possibly. The D'jeri and Veragal trade quite regularly. The people are not technologically advanced, however the planet is quite interesting." Kayla replied thoughtfully. This was something else she must remember to report to the Captain in her meeting with her tomorrow.

As the waitress made it to their table for their drink orders, Tom asked Seven and Kayla what they would like to start with.

"I do not require anything at this time." was Seven's immediate response.

Kayla looked questioningly at her and was about to suggest that she have something anyway when Seven interrupted her.

"My Borg implants are adversely affected by the consumption of alcoholic beverages. However, if you could select something appropriate, I will join you."

Kayla had not considered the effects of alcohol on her systems. It was not something that had arisen on D'jeri and despite the fact that she had been looking forward to sharing a drink with her new shipmates, she was determined not to cause a problem tonight.

"Could we both have coffees? Maybe a cuppuchino?" Kayla asked the waitress. After a nod in reply, she headed back towards the bar, stopping to seat a new group that had just entered the holodeck.

"In what way is the planet interesting?" B'Elanna asked, returning to their previous conversation.

"The majority of the planet is tropical rainforest. Rivers criss-cross the surface and there are a few inland lakes, but no ocean to speak of. The people are tree-dwellers, living in the forests."

"I normally prefer something a little more civilised for shoreleave, but at this point, I think I'd be happy sleeping in a tree just for something different." B'Elanna remarked and Tom grinned in agreement.

"I have a meeting with the Captain tomorrow to discuss my knowledge of the area in more depth, I think I'll mention it."

From there, the converstion drifted to a few incidents on previous shore-leaves, both good and bad. B'Elanna's favoutite vacation spot, Tom's favourite holodeck adventure, Neelix's parties, Seven's annoyance at the Doctor's insistance that she attend Neelix's parties! As all four began to relax and enjoy each others company, they found a great deal to talk and laugh about. By the time Janeway and Chakotay entered the holodeck, two others tables had been dragged over and about a dozen people sat in the group, all talking over each other, telling stories, making jokes and generally a great deal of noise.

As the Captains presence was made known, the noise dimmed out of respect. Harry Kim stood to find the Captain a chair when she motioned for them to carry on.

Kathryn looked towards the end of the table where both Kayla and Seven of Nine sat with Tom and B'Elanna. Her Chief of Engineering was talking animatedly, Tom seemed to be hiding his head and both Seven and Kayla were grinning as they listened to whatever tale B'Elanna was spinning.

"Well, it seems our newest crew-member is settling in." Chakatoy spoke softly as he headed over to help Harry move a table for them both.

Janeway walked towards the group as Tom was loudly denying the majority of his partner's story. Grabbing her own chair, she indicated for Harry to keep the one he was holding and join them.

"Captain, help me out here will you?" Tom pleaded.

"Oh no, Mr Paris. Whatever trouble you got yourself into, I know I can count on you to get yourself out." she replied with a grin. "I hope there's more where that came from." Janeway indicated the coffee.

"I think Sandrine has a whole pot out there just for us." Kayla returned.

Chakotay headed over to the bar to get the first of several rounds of drinks for the group as they talked into the night.

Chapter Ten.

Kayla woke promptly at six the next morning, despite only having gotten to bed four hours earlier. It had been a good night, but eventually the Captain had retired for the evening and everyone else said their good-nights shortly after.

Wanting to be alert for her morning meeting, Kayla dragged herself out of bed and got ready for her morning work-out. B'Elanna had mentioned last night that she had a number of Klingon combat and defense programs she liked to run on the holodeck and had invited Kayla to join her some time. Kayla knew she was a bit out of practice, but she had studied Zen Karate for six years on Earth and had been quite good at it. However, after Seven admitted that B'Elanna was an impressive opponent, Kayla decided she had best refresh her mind (and body) if she intended to take the Klingon woman up on her offer.

Running thru the movements in her head while she warmed up, Kayla wasn't sure how much of her training she would remember. But once she started the movements, her body seemed to take over. As if her body instinctively followed from one motion to the next. After completing the patterns and moving slowly thru a few of the basic stances and movements, she repeated them. Tomorrow she would step up the pace and add power to the movements. Today she just wanted to remind her body of what it once did.

After quick shower and breakfast, Kayla stepped into the turbo-lift, datapadd in hand and headed to the bridge for her appointment. She was nervous. While she thouroghly enjoyed her lessons with the Doctor, she wasn't sure she was moving fast enough thru his tutorials. Perhaps she should limit her other lessons and focus purely on her medical training. But then there was so much else that while not immediatley connected, seemed to relate. Kayla knew that if she didn't study a broad range of subjects initially, her lack of understanding in what was now basic science and mathematics for example would negatively effect her ability to grasp the principals of current medical science.

The knowledge she had had when with the Borg was staggering, however, when the D'jeri removed her Borg componentry, only her own memories were left. It was at times like these that she felt the loss so keenly. Knowing what she once had, and how much she could have offered Voyager and it's Captain if only the D'jeri had been as careful removing her implants as it seemed the Doctor had been with Seven.

Her memories, however, did contain information on various sectors and species in this area of space as well as extensive knowledge of Borg systems. Kayla looked forward to her studies being advanced enough for her to compare her knowledge of enginerring with Voyagers schematics and operating systems. As a drone, she was primarily responsible for maintainance and repairs, although understanding of her duties was fragmented. She could remember the procedures but the scientific reasoning behind them was lost.

Kayla had recorded as much as she could over the past few days for the Captain. Details on existing alliances, advanced races, areas where there was a Borg presence. Captain Janeway had also asked for information on interesting spatial phenomenae, and Kayla had spent quite some time trying to remember the details of something she had heard on D'jeri regarding an unstable area of space but could come up with few details. She hoped what she had managed to prepare would be satisfactory.

Kayla felt the turbo-lift begin to slow and straightened her shoulders, determined to project an air of confidance that she didn't quite feel. As the doors opened, she stepped purposely onto the bridge, hoping to see someone she knew, hoping the officers knew the Captain had asked for her to come here and not think she was barging, unasked, onto the bridge.

The calming voice of the security cheif, Commander Tuvok, belayed her fears.

"Captain Janeway is in her ready-room." he spoke almost as soon as she stepped out of the lift.

"Thank you Commander." Kayla replied, not stopping on her path across the deck until she reached her goal.

Captain Janeway sat relaxed at her desk, waiting, thinking. Last night had been a lot of fun, yet had left her with a sinking feeling in her gut. She rarely spent time relaxing with her crew and she resolved to spend more time getting to know them. They were a fine bunch of people and Janeway regretted the need to distance herself from them. While Starfeet protocols made it clear that a Captain was to maintain a certain distance from her crew, the odd dinner at Sandrines was not out of the question.

Kayla had seemed to be accepted quite freely by the senior staff and while Kathryn knew should she be glad or at least relieved, but she couldn't quite sort out her feelings on the matter. She was unsettled by the fact that Kayla and Seven had become friends. Yet she knew that if anyone on board deseved to find a friend it was Seven. The fact that B'Elanna had found someone interested in her Klingon physical training programs should have pleased her but it only reinforced the fact that she spent her holodeck time alone. Harry's doting and shy grins should have been endearing but with every one, the woman inside her retreated just a litle more.

Janeway realised she felt alone. *You are alone.* Her helpful inner voice supplied as her door chimed to inicate a visitor.

Sitting back in the chair she called for them to enter, remembering her meeting with her newest crew-member.

Kayla walked across to her desk and stood almost at attention. Janeway noticed the similarity in her stance to Seven's and wondered if all ex-drones were incapable of relaxing. She realised the supidity of the thought immediately. *If I'd been assimilated by the Borg, I don't think I'd be too relaxed either.*

"Good morning Captain."

"Good morning Kayla. I hope you manged to get some sleep last night?" she joked.

"Actually, I think everyone left straight after you did, so I wasn't far behind you." Kayla replied thinking that the Captain looked quite tired and wondering if she should mention it. Deciding it was irrelevant and certainly none of her business, she remained silent.

"Take a seat." she nodded towards the chair in front of the younger woman. "How are you settling in so far?"

"Easier than I expected, Captain. Everyone has been very welcoming. Thank you for a great night last night. I had a lot of fun getting to know you and your crew." Kayla wanted to express herself more sincerely but didn't know how to convey to this woman, her Captain, how relieved she felt to have been accepted by this community.

"I'm glad. We have a very close-knit family on Voyager." Janeway replied, and Kayla wondered why that would sadden the Captain and if she realised how clearly her eyes displayed her emotions.

Changing the subject, Janeway accessed the terminal on her desk before turning to look once more at the woman opposite her.

"How is your training with the Doctor progressing?" she asked. The Doctor had reported quite favourably on her aptitude. Apparently his new recruit was progressing quite rapidly through the inital anatomical and biological studies he had given her and he was looking forward to starting her medical training with-in the month.

"I realise there is a large gap in my knowledge but I hope that once I am settled in here a little more I will be able to focus better on the Doctor's lessons."

"Are you enjoying the training?" Kathryn asked.

"Very much so. I find the material captivating. There is such an overwhelming amount of knowledge to be gained."

"Is the Doctor moving too fast?" Janeway asked, hopeful that in the Doctor's eagerness for a new assistant he didn't expect too much, too soon.

"Not at all, he's been very patient. I just wish there was more time in the day. There is so much to catch up on!"

"There's no need to rush. It's impossible to condense the last two hundred years into an evenings reading. Nor are you expected to try." While impressed by her eagerness, Janeway worried that she was placing too much importance on her studies. "It's just as important that you make a home for yourself here, Kayla. Take the time to develop friendships, find interests outside of your studies."

Kayla smiled then, at herself for trying to condense the last two hundred years into an evenings reading and at her Captain for knowing that she need to be told not to. Kathryn recognised the grin and knew she had struck home with her last comment.

"I don't want to betray your faith in me, Captain." Kayla revealed.

"You won't." Janeway spoke in a tone that would allow no arguement and Kayla hoped that she was right.

"Now, what did you do for fun on Earth? If you speak to either Tom or Harry, I'm sure they'll help you create a holodeck program to suit."

"Rock-climbing, canyoning, rafting... that kind of thing. That's more fun in a group though." Kayla thought out loud.

"I am sure some of the crew would be interested in joining you if you asked." Janeway imagined B'Elanna might enjoy that sort of adventure. Kathryn hadn't been canyoning since her days at the academy though it was something she had enjoyed tremendously. The thrill of conquering your fears, of giving all you could to reach a single goal, the feeling of walking into a silent cavern and wondering how long it had been since someone had been there befre you and if indeed you could have been the first.

"Would you be interested?"

The question threw the Captain a little off balance. She hadn't expected that Kayla would ask her to join her and for a moment she was silent. She would probably enjoy it. She knew she would enjoy it, and wasn't she just complaining about spending her holodeck time alone. She should say yes, spend some time getting to know the newest member of her crew.

"No. Thank you for the invitation, but not this time." Captain Janeway regretted saying no almost immediately as she gazed at the young woman across from her, but she recognised the neccessity. It would be innappropriate for her to socialise with Kayla, she should be making friends amongst the crew. The Captain was not in a position to be a friend and that was what Kayla needed at the moment.

"Next time then." Kayla replied, breaking the silence between them. She was a little embarrased at having asked the Captain to join her. Obviously, she had more important things to do then fill in Kayla's spare time on the holodeck. It would have been fun though, if she had of said yes. After a breath she placed the datapadd on the table and passed it over the the Captain.

"My initial report on this area." She stated briefly. Janeway looked at the padd for a moment before reaching for it. She scrolled briefly thru the document, and after realising the extent of it decided she was best off going thru it thouroughly herself before discussing it with Kayla.

"I'll go over it immediatley. Anything I should take particular note of?"

"The Drakma nebula. I have included it's spectral composition. I believe you could harvest a significant amount of plasma of sufficient quality to refresh your neural gel packs. And Veragon IV. I think you will find it meets with your requirements for shore-leave." Kayla spoke directly and the Captain wasn't sure why the young woman's tone made her smile.

"Thank you, Kayla. Spend some time this morning just accquainting yourself with Voyager, I will contact you when I've had a chance to go over this."

Kayla stood, realising the meeting was over. She had been relieved that the Captain had not had any problems with her performance so far, but dissapointed now that the meeting had come to a close. She pushed the chair in under the desk and leaned on it a moment facing the older woman. Her expression was unreadable, the Captain's mask she assumed when nothing else was appropriate. Standing erect and clasping her hands in front of her, Kayla nodded. No one here seemed to salute although that's what officers had done in the past.

"Thank you for your time, Captain." Kayla wondered if she should just walk out the door. The Captain didn't look like she was expecting anything else, so that's what she did, determined to start her studies on Starfleet protocols as soon as possible. Right after she visited the holodeck.

Chapter Eleven.

Scrolling through the list of holodeck programs, Kayla had no idea what to select. The whole concept of a holodeck was amazing to her and Kayla thought that if there wasn't so much else going on in her life, she could quite happily spend the entire day in that one room. She intended to speak with Seven about developing a program to do a little river canyoning in the future, but right now she was hoping for something a little more sedate. She had enjoyed singing and had played the violin at home, but like canyoning, that wasn't something she would enjoy alone. The majority of her past hobbies involved a team of people. So, curious to see what Voyager had to offer she had accessed the public programs for ideas. Some programs sounded familiar, others, she couldn't even guess at. Parachuting, Parise Squares, P'Hok Ma, Pentathlon, Pottery, Prandiche Omar... PotteryI could do that! Kayla decided and initiated the program.

Stepping towads the doors to allow then to open for her Kayla peeked into the room. It was a small cubicle with a spinning wheel under a window, a shelf containing a number of pots and statues and a large table with a box of tools and a block of clay at one end and a stool at the other. Kayla walked around the room, settling at the table. Dragging the block of clay towards her she unwrapped the cloth that covered it. She poked and prodded at it, moulding it and then squashing it back into a ball. Squeezing it till it oozed out from between her fingers and then pressing it back into a lump. She had done pottery at school and again when she was too sick from treatment to continue with the sports she usually enjoyed. It was soothing, to let the mind rest or wander while the hands worked at the clay, to loose yourself in the creation.

Kayla sat for a while, moulding a small lump of clay into a shaggy dog, laying with it's tail curled aroung itself, it's head on it's paws.

Sitting quietly like this, she felt like the same person she was a lifetime ago. The person who got up every morning and drove the 30 minutes to the gym where she worked. The person who looked forward to the weekends when she went camping with her friends or headed to the city for a night out.

That person was so far removed from who she was now that sometimes Kayla wasn't sure she even existed anymore. Even during the last six months on Earth, when she was sick, she never lost her cheerfulnes or her confidance in herself and the world.

Right now though, she had to admit she didn't feel so confidant. The Borg had given her such purpose, that at times she felt lost without their voices guiding her. As Borg, she had no doubts, no fears. She was Borg. There was no other way to express the importance of what she had become.

When the D'jeri took that from her, she became insignificant. A human without status, without family, without purpose. She only reason she continued to wake each day was because to do otherwise would mean making a decision of her own and for the longest time she hadn't been capable of that.

The past few days on Voyager had been like an awakening, a fresh start with the opportunity to make something of herself once again. But with so many conflicting personalities inside her, Kayla found it difficult to find the confidance in herself she once had. She was scared to be herself in case she was no longer enough.

Kayla turned her focus to her creation once more as she used one of the finer tools to finish his coat off. It was rough and she couldn't quite get his legs right but still, it would be something to improve upon.

Deciding she had spent enough time relaxing, Kayla took one last look at the dog before gently squeezing him back into the shapeless lump he was before she started. She'd be back to try again later she promised the clay as she wrapped it back in the cloth and washed her hands. For now, she had study to do.

Captain Janeway had read thru the report twice. She was amazed at the depth and attention to detail that Kayla had shown in her report and wondered if Seven of Nine had advised her in it's layout. Each topic had been cross referenced in relation to possible threats, food sources, technologically advanced societies, trade routes and everything else Janeway could possibly want to enquire about. It was extremely efficient and Janeway wondered if it was a reflection of Kayla's own personality, a result of her time with the Borg or something else entirely.

The information contained in the report was invaluble and she intended to issue a copy to each of her senior staff at tomorrows briefing. And yes, the Drakma nebula and Veragon IV would both be on Voyager's immediate flight path. The nebula was three days away at warp three and she knew Torres would be relieved to hear the reason for the change of course.

Standing and walking onto the bridge she headed towards the conn station, smiling briefly at her first officer as he stood at her approach.

"Captain." He spoke both to acknowledge her presence and announce to the officers that their Captain was on the bridge.

"Mr Paris, please lay in a course, two six zero mark four. Warp three." She rested her hand briefly on his shoulder and gave a gentle squeeze conveying with that gesture that all was well.

Taking the seat that Chakotay vacated for her, she handed him a copy of the report. He glanced at the padd to identify it and then looked back at the Captain.

"Anything interesting?" He queried.

"A few things. I'll be going over everything in tomorrows meeting of the senior staff."

"Mind if I ask where were headed?" He asked with a grin.

"The Drakma nebula." She inclined her head towards the padd indicating hthat he should read for himself. Chakotay accessed the information and read silently for a minute before returning his attention to the Captain.

"B'Elanna will be relieved. She's been concerned over the remaining life of the gel packs." Standing once more, Janeway tapped her comm bagde.

"Janeway to Kayla."

"Yes, Captain." was the immediate response.

"Could you report to my ready-room when you have a moment, please." The Captain requested.

"I'm on my way now, Captain." Janeway closed the link and spoke again to her first officer. "Go over the report and tell me what you think. I'll speak with B'Elanna shortly. In the mean time, you have the bridge, Commander. I'll be in my ready-room."

Janeway led Kayla towards the couch at the end of her ready-room and took a seat. She held a copy of the report in her hand and gestured with it as she spoke.

"I'm impressed. I appreciate the depth of information you have included in your report." she said honestly.

"Thank you, Captain. I hope it was helpful." Kayla replied, relieved beyond words that it had been satisfactory. She had been unsure how much to include, not wanting to give the Captain a sterile list of datum but not confidant that she possessed enough varied knowledge to form a complete report.

"I have asked Ensign Paris to alter our heading for the nebula you suggested."

"I thought so, I noticed the change of course." Kayla replied suprising the Captain.

"You noticed a change of course?" she queried. It wasn't unheard of. She herself could tell if Voyager changed speed or direction. B'Elanna had mentioned she could do the same, but Kayla had only been onboard a few days.

"Borg technology. I have a pretty good sense of direction." Kayla explained, hoping she had not been out of line mentioning it.

Janeway nodded and seemed to return her attention to the padd in her hand. She would have to ask the Doctor for more details on Kayla's Borg enchancements. While she didn't wish to invade her privacy it was important that she knew of Kayla's abilities and limitations.

"I'd like to have you join the senior staff in tomorrows briefing to discuss your knowledge of the area. In the mean-time, I have a few questions of my own."

"That's fine, Captain." Kayla sat back in the couch, looking forward to both the Captain's questions and tomorrow's meeting.

The two woman discussed every aspect of the report, Kayla expanding on some areas and the Captain adding notes of her to the original report. It was well after lunch when they were satisfied enough with their discussion to call a break.

"You been extremely helpful, Kayla. The information you have provided will be invaluble. I'm glad you decided to come on board." Kathryn laughed briefly and leaned forward, placing her hand on Kayla's. "And not just for the data. I think you'll make a fine additional to this crew." She spoke warmly.

Janeway had been amazed at the change in Kayla during the morning. While she could tell the young woman was still unsure of herself in many ways, once they began discussing topics with which Kayla was familiar she seemed to become a different person.

Janeway had enjoyed the meeting more than she was comfortable admitting. The young woman's ideas and opinions were quite unique and Janeway couldn't help but wonder what kind of scientist she would make given the opportunity. She was amazingly logical but seemed to look at everything from the most unlikly angles. It seemed that as they spoke she was combining each of Janeway's comments and questions with her own knowledge and finding something new in everything. Enough was enough though, Janeway had kept Kayla from her lessons with the Doctor and it was well and truly time for lunch.

"Are you eating in the mess hall?" Kayla enquired and when she didn't receive an immediate reply she continued, "I was just going to ask if we could eat together, but... I should probably just grab something quickly and report to the Doctor, anyway."

"Actually... I was just going to replicate something in here, but..." Kathryn hesitated, feeling foolish for doing so. "I really should prepare for the briefing." she finished, closing herself off from the young woman in front of her. Angry with herself for stepping away from the friendship Kayla offered while only that morning she had complained about the fact that she was alone out here.

Looking up to meet the deep brown eyes boring into her own she fell silent. She felt as though Kayla was looking right thru her, seeing her weaknesses and her fears. Part of her wanted to turn around and run, hide behind the Captain's mask. Another part of her wanted to step forward, confront the confusing muddle of feelings she felt in this woman's company. Her stomach lurched at the thought of either and so she stood, rooted in place, unable to move or speak as Kayla wished her good day and headed out the door.

Index | Part One | Part Two | Part Three Part Four | |