It was seven o'clock by the time both of them had showered, dressed, and finished getting ready, and as Todd pointed out, that was way past dinner time. Blair had been so busy arguing with him that she had forgotten about that simple necessity of nature, and that wound up being the first thing she agreed with him on the entire trip.

"Where would you like to go? We can catch a cab, or I can see what other kinds of arrangements can be made," Todd offered as he tried not to stare at his ex. He couldn't help it; even having two kids her lithe figure remained as it was, as he was so familiar with, and Blair showed it off by wearing a flowing, white, off-the shoulder sundress. It was simple yet elegant. He knew he would be shown the door if he commented, so he wisely kept his comments to himself.

"Who says I want to eat my dinner with you? You're acting like this is our vacation, when really this is my vacation and you just happen to be here," she scoffed as she added a light scarf around her neck.

"Hey..it was just a suggestion. I can go pick up my own dinner. By myself. In a place I've never been to. " He looked down at the floor, and Blair laughed.

"Oh, stop it. Fine. We can have dinner but that's it. Just dinner. How about we stay at the hotel tonight? I'm too tired from…" she stopped when she saw him smirking at her, and she smacked him on the arm.

"From the flight. Now come on. I want to enjoy this evening. Do you think I'll be able to do that?"

"Of course. It will be an evening you won't forget," Todd reassured her.

"With you..why is that I am afraid that I believe that?"

00000

The location was perfect. The hotel was at a lakeside resort, so they sat out on the balcony enjoying the view. Blair was impressed; she loved traveling and hadn't done much of it since she'd had Starr, but there was something about the view and the breeze and remnants of the sun's tango glow that just put her right at ease. Almost immediately she forgot, at least temporarily, the bickering that had been going on between the two of them and was actually glad that Todd was there- at least for the moment.

After taking a long sip of her drink, she looked at Todd. "You know, this is really nice."

"What is?"

"Sitting out here tonight. It's beautiful."

"It's not too bad. You know, I could sit out here for a minute or two." He took a long sip of his drink. "It is kind of nice, just the two of us. We should have done this earlier."

"Todd…"

"No, I mean it. There were a lot of places that I wanted to take you when… . when we were together. There wasn't anything on earth I wouldn't have given you."

Blair smiled. "You already gave me the two biggest miracles of my life. I don't think I've ever really thanked you for that."

"For what, being in the right place at the right time?"

"Don't be crude. You know as well as I do that those children were conceived out of something very, very special. We did have something very special, didn't we?"

He hated when she was like that. He could tolerate the yelling and the hostile remarks but he never knew how to take her when she spoke like that to him. Maybe it came from years of never trusting anyone, but whenever someone complimented him he always wondered what they wanted.

"Todd?"

He shook his head, bringing himself back to reality. "Yeah. We did. You've given me the best years of my life, Blair. I know I never told you that but you know me…"

She smiled as she took his hand. "Yeah. Yeah, I do know you. And there are so many memories I have of us that I wouldn't trade for anything. If I could go back and do some of them over again though…"she looked away as her voice trailed off.

"You?" He laughed. "Look who you're talking to."

"Let's not go there tonight, Todd. Let's just think of the good times. The bad ones will be there tomorrow. But you're the father of my children- and as much as it kills me to admit it, you've been a wonderful father. When you've tried to be."

"I love my kids, Blair." They both sipped some more from their glasses. "I'd do anything for them. I'd throw myself in front of a bus for them."

"I think we're out of the way of the Llanview bus line," she laughed. "I think you're pretty safe."

"You know what I mean. I would do anything- anything- for them."

"Why.." Blair started to speak before the server stopped to bring them refills of their drinks.

"Keep them coming," Todd ordered. "What were you going to say, just a minute ago?"

"Nothing. It doesn't matter now."

"Yes it does. We've been getting along very well and I would really like to know what's on your mind. I can take it."

Blair studied him for a minute. "I was going to ask you, if you're so loving with your kids, why couldn't you be that way with me? I mean, I loved you, I really did."

"I know I'm an idiot. You don't have to keep reminding me of that."

"That's not what I'm saying. You're not an idiot Todd. You're a jerk, yes, and you do stupid things but you're not an idiot. That's your problem. You know what you're doing and you do them anyways. You don't have a pause button. And that's what gets you into trouble."

"I know. I'd like to say that I can change. You have to admit I'm not as bad as I used to be."

"A few months aren't enough time to change. People take years to change. And I love you, God help me, but I still love you, but I don't have years to wait around praying for a man to change whom we both know never will. I can't do that to myself Todd. I'm getting too old for all of that."

Todd looked away, then it was his turn to take her by the hand. "Did you mean what you just said? That you love me?"

"I knew I should never have said that."

"No. I'm glad you did. I needed to hear that. I don't know if I can make you any promises, not the kind you're looking for, but I can guarantee you that I don't want to hurt you anymore."

Blair nodded. "If I didn't know you I might almost believe that. Now drink up. It's a beautiful night and I don't plan to waste it by being sober," she laughed.

Todd laughed too. Who knew Blair could be such a fun drunk?

0000

Todd was almost asleep on the couch when he heard her call his name.

"Yes? You okay?"

"I'm fine. I was just wondering…well, I didn't know if you would like to join me, just for tonight?"

She didn't have to ask him twice. But before he climbed in Blair put her hand in the air. "I want you to know- I don't want sex. There can't be any more of that between us. But I thought it would be …well I'm here in a foreign country and the moon's on the wrong side of the world and I just can't sleep. I thought it would be nice if you were here, with me."

"Can I hold you for a few minutes?"

Blair smiled at him. "I'd like that."

A few minutes turned into a few hours, as they both drifted off into a deep, alcohol-induced state of sleep.