In the recording studio, the Sontarans burst into a chorus of 'Sontar ha' as they heard Reggie Yates read out their band name. Tears of joy and happiness streamed down Sarah's face, but at the same time, she felt a tinge of guilt. She'd just released a song about hating the Doctor. Worse of all, she'd done it with his enemies. She had to make it up to him somehow. She knew it. Then she thought of poor Luke, on his own, even without Sky for company. (Sky was being used as a renewable energy source for a group of aliens known as Sqrars. Their planet had run out of energy sources, so they'd come to Earth to claim some of Earth's energy instead. However, Sky had bravely volunteered to be used as energy for their planet and saved Earth from being drained dry.). Then she remembered Clyde and Rani. At least he wasn't totally on his own.
"I know the Doctor's your enemy, but I think our next song should be about something different." said Sarah. "What difference will singing about him make anyway? He'll still defeat your people, no matter how many times you try to successfully invade."
"You will shut up, Earth scum, or your precious friend the Doctor will be the last thing you'll worry about." Draxx snarled.
"And what's that supposed to be mean? Because deep down, I think you're scared."
"Sonatarans never have such an inferior weakness. Unless you count that time we were put into an oven and left to bake for twenty minutes."
"Why don't we sing about that instead? Why can't our songs be fun and thrilling, instead of full of hatred for your enemies on the battlefield?"
"Alright, Sarah Jane Smith. You have won this battle. But fear not, for we shall win the next one for the glory of chart success."
And so the three of them entered the studio and began to sing:
SONTARANS
It's annoying, Sontarans are cooking
Mistaken identity takes its toll
But look closely, not for very much longer
I've got to keep plan B
SARAH
I remember seeing the baked potatoes
During those moments when
The madness would engross me and lunch would be calling
Let's cook the Sontarans again...
Let's cook the Sontarans again!
It's just a hit to the probic vent
And maybe a place in the oven
With your hands in your oven gloves
You bring your bravery in tight
But it's the recession that really drives you insane,
Let's defeat the Sontarans again!
SONTARANS
It's so face palm-y, oh Sontar glory me
So you can't cook me, no not at all
In another universe, with parallel intention
Well-secluded, I win all
With a bit of a shooting
You're there in the warrior race
And nothing can ever be the same
You're nearly baked out on oven tray, like you're often mistaken
Let's not be defeated again!
SARAH
Well I was walking down the street just a-having a think
When a potato of a guy gave me a free lunchtime deal
He held a weapon up, he took me by surprise
He had armour on and the devil's eyes.
He stared at me and I felt no fear
Money meant nothing, never would again
Let's cook the Sontarans again!
"I have a feeling Clyde will love this." Sarah said out loud.
Laxx snorted and said "I have a feeling if Kaagh's to be believed that that pathetic half human won't even understand the meaning of the lyrics."
"Oh, Clyde is much cleverer than you lot think. In fact, I'd go as far to say he's one of the cleverest people I know."
"We'll see about that, Sarah Jane."
Two months later…
Sarah Jane was right. Clyde did indeed love that song. Ever since it was released last week, he listened to it every day on his iPod. It was up there in his 'Top 10 cool things' list engraved in his mind. Sarah Jane must've taken tips from the comedy king, thought Clyde as he walked down the street to the train station. Ever since Sarah had left Bannerman road for stardom, Clyde had been doing various comedy gigs around the country. He felt popular. Every time he came on stage and every time he got loads of laughs. He was sure he was going to make it. He felt like a comedy genius and that was certainly how the audience saw him. Clyde was just about to enter the train station when Luke and Rani came running towards him.
"Clyde, you've got to help us work out what's going on." Pleaded Luke.
"Not another alien invasion. Not now. My career's just about to take off."
"I think it is, yes. I don't think the Sontarans want to sing with mum, Clyde. I think they're using her for some kind of grand scheme."
Clyde snorted. "If you mean waging war on the pop charts, then yes, they do have a grand scheme. Just because some Sontarans are bad doesn't mean all are, does it? Maybe they do just want to make a name for themselves?"
"Then why did Mr Smith say that was impossible?"
"I don't know. Maybe Smithy is jealous?"
"Smithy? Clyde, seriously. You're too addicted to Gavin and Stacey."
"And you're too addicted to predicting alien invasions. You've done it every day since Sarah left, Luke. Now, I've got a train to catch before my career spirals through the window."
Luke sighed. It was hopeless. How were they ever going to get Clyde's help when he was too bothered about his career rather than his mum's safety? Then Rani had a sudden idea.
"Clyde. I won't marry you if you don't help us."
"Alright, alright, I'll help. But that doesn't mean I believe you!"
Back at the attic, the trio sat together in front of Mr Smith and discussed their plan.
"Luke, do you know where Sarah Jane is?" asked Rani.
"She's at the recording studio. She told me today through Skype that she was recording some songs with the Sontarans ready for their first album." Luke said.
"Do you know where the recording studio is?" asked Clyde.
"Yeah. It's in London. She told me the exact address in case I needed to visit her. 33 Trafalgar square."
"Then what are we waiting for,Lukey boy? We need to find a way down there. I'd suggest using the train but that should've left a few minutes ago."
"If only you'd learnt to drive like I told you to." Rani sighed.
"I was going to! I just never got time. You know I'm busy with my comedy and art. I'm an upcoming artist comedian guy, remember?"
Rani rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Now's not the time for complaining about excuses."
Luke had a brainwave.
"Hang on. I can drive. I'm a genius, remember?"
Onlookers watched as a small green car diverted from left to right, wildly out of control.
Inside the car, Rani and Clyde looked at each other as they wished they were somewhere else.
"I thought you said you could drive?"
"Yeah, well, it seems even boy geniuses need to pass driving tests first."
Once they made it dangerously back to Bannerman road, nearly knocking a few people over on the way, the three of them exited the car.
"Alright, what on Earth are we going to do now?" asked Clyde. "No transport, no further to finding out if the Sontarans are up to anything and we could be done for dangerous driving. This is turning out to be a good day, isn't it?"
"Er, Clyde. Maybe we do have transport after all." said Rani, pointing towards a familiar blue box.