Disclaimer: I do not own twilight or any of its characters.

(A/N: I'm very sorry it's taken two weeks to update, I just wanted to get this chapter right… I did a bit of research to make sure my ideas would still be in canon. I don't want to rush anything, but at the same time I don't want to write just for the sake of it… so hope I got the right balance! Much love xx)

Misconceived Hope

I could not believe it. After all the worrying, all the despair, all the visions of death and destruction. I stood there completely silent, completely motionless, but it felt wrong doing so… It felt as though there was a bright light in the centre of my body which I just couldn't contain anymore. It was either going to make my body collapse from underneath me, or it would set alight an uncontrollable amount of energy within me meaning I just wouldn't be able to stop myself from running home at a million miles an hour and screaming from the top of my lungs, "We can get out of this alive!" This light was growing in accordance with my increasing hope and joy and all I wanted now was to get going!

I looked over to Jasper, expecting to see the same expression on his face, so it hit me like a brick wall when it wasn't. In fact, it was quite the opposite.

"Jasper…" I whispered, my voice sounding exasperated. "…This is good news!"

He barely managed to look at me in the eye before he turned his head away again, back to Kachiri. "We can't get a head of ourselves." He repeated, though it looked as though he was saying it to himself.

I didn't understand. What was he feeling from Kachiri that gave him so much doubt?

Her face was still, but her eyes were flickering around, as if she were seeing something that we couldn't.

"Kachiri," I asked, almost begging now. "What do you know? What do you know that could help us?"

"It was long ago…" She began, slowly. "I haven't even thought of him in centuries."

"Who?" I pressed, stepping close to her. My voice was pitched much too high, but I didn't care… all I wanted to know was whether she was talking about a hybrid.

"His name was Joham." Her eyes were still hundreds of miles away. "I came across him only a few years before I changed Zafrina… in fact, he was the reason I did…" She half smiled. "He was the first immortal I had met in this life. After almost six hundred years of being alone, I finally had someone. So when he left… well, I just didn't want to be by myself again." Her smile disappeared. "He was hansom, of course; though I later realised that that feature was the same for all our kind."

I felt my face begin to scowl. She was talking about a vampire.

"I idolised his wisdom, knowledge and experience. He knew things about our world that I didn't. He told me about the Volturi and their rules. I can remember how he always used to laugh when he spoke about how they punished members of our kind. How he always said that he wasn't scared of them.

"He stayed with me for a while, a few years perhaps – no more than that. We travelled across the whole of the Amazon, making both of us very familiar with it. We got on very well, but he never used to let me hunt with him. That was the only thing we ever did apart. I never understood why, so one night – our last night together - I plucked up the courage and I followed him… I stayed well back, making sure that he was completely unaware of my presence. He was making his way deep into the jungle. I knew that there were many tribes that lived around the area so I wondered why he didn't hunt in their small villages like I did – stealing people from their homes. Why did he come to a remote area so far away from them? Did he hope he would find a huntsman alone out there, at such a strange time of night for a human being to be awake?" She took a deep breath and her tone of voice changed to one of questioning, to one of fact. "I could smell her then… nothing special… but she was alone, vulnerable, an easy target. I didn't understand why she was out this far away from her tribe, but my question was answered shortly after I thought it.

"Joham leaped down from the tree he was travelling on, landing only a step away from the human girl. But she didn't scream, nor did she try to run away. She was expecting him. They whispered things into each others ears, and shared kisses. I didn't feel betrayed – he wasn't anything other than a companion to me – I just felt confused, I knew that what he was doing was wrong… and peculiar. I couldn't even imagine being that close to a human without feeding. So I came to the conclusion that he must have loved her – an emotion I didn't understand or even remember feeling. But then they both began… undressing… things were becoming… intimate. I knew immediately that I shouldn't have followed him, that I shouldn't have been there. So I turned to leave… I had taken six steps before the scent of blood overwhelmed my senses. I instinctually turned towards it, wanting it. I could already feel the heat of it on the back of my throat… it was close… but it was accompanied by the sound of slurping, flowing, gushing blood. Someone was already drinking it. I growled as I turned towards it, ready to fight off anyone who was stealing my feed.

"The immortal dropped the nearly drained corpse and hissed at me, the instinct to protect his own back overrode his want to continue feeding. But as he looked up, the red haze clouding my vision cleared and I finally saw that it was Joham and his love. Of course it was, there was no one else near by, I was just unable to rationalise. He called my name, and I ran. I was scared of what he might do now that I had found out his secret. He caught up to me after a few seconds, begging me to stop and listen to him.

"'You don't understand', he screamed. 'Please, listen.' So I let him explain what had happened. Apparently he had trained his body to be around humans, but not for the reason that I had first thought. It had nothing to do with love…"

Her eyes finally focussed on my face.

"… He told me that he wanted to mate with a human, that he wanted to impregnate one, believing that it would create a new breed of creature who would have the best qualities from both species. Apparently this was not his first attempt, and so far all of his interests had met the same end as this one. He said that he was in complete control while he was in their presence, but as soon as things progressed… well… you understand.

"I told him that I didn't understand his motivation, nor could I condone it. I asked him to leave, and told him that I never wanted to see him again. And I never did. I didn't know where he went, and to be honest, I did not even want to. But about one and a half, maybe two hundred years ago – after I had found Zafrina and Senna - we all went hunting, we were near Chile at the time. We came across the strong scent of human blood and so we followed it only to find a corpse of a human girl, long gone. But the sight was horrific. Her body was contorted, bent and broken… and she was almost ripped in half at her midsection, but as if it had happened from the inside-out… but even more disturbingly… her face was restful, at peace.

"There were two other scents that hung around the area close to the body. One was definitely a vampire – one of us, though I did not recognise it – but the other was odd, some abnormal type of blood for sure. Abnormal because it was not appetizing – it was just nice.

"So I stepped closer to investigate the unusual scent and then it hit me, something I knew too well, but had not been in it's presence for centuries. It was imbedded in the corpse, and some of the air around her. It was Joham's scent. I didn't mention it to my sisters; I just told them that it was a sign of danger and that we should leave the area immediately. They didn't ask any questions. They both believed that it was the cause of one of the other types of predators that lived in this area and that there had been another vampire who had come to investigate the grotesque scene. But I couldn't escape the thought that my old companion had finally succeeded in his mission." Her voice drifted into nothing.

"You think the girl you found gave birth to a hybrid?" Jasper asked.

Kachiri said nothing, she just nodded once.

"From the research we have done, and from what we have seen, it would make sense…" Jasper continued.

"Are you kidding?" I almost screamed. "It's obvious! Of course she gave birth to a hybrid! It matches up perfectly with everything we know about the birth... everything that we witnessed ourselves!"

"Yes, Alice, but this could have been up to two hundred years ago! It's true, the evidence suggests that another hybrid was born… but none of us can be sure that it exists now." He replied in a hushed tone.

"But… but…" I stuttered. "What about what I've seen? They do exist! All we need to do now is find it!" I spun around to Kachiri. "Could you take us there Kachiri? Back to where you found the body? The general area perhaps?"

"Oh, er, yes, I suppose I could. It won't be exact… but it will only take a day to get there…" She spoke quickly, apparently trying to get to another point. "Alice, you said that you and Jasper has witnessed something that 'matches up' to my story? Edward's mate carried a hybrid child…" Her eyes were sad, worried for what might have been. "…Did she meet the same end as the girl in the forest?"

"No," I smiled. "Things were bound to turn out different when living with a fully trained doctor, a house full of clean, state of the art medical equipment and eight other people who will do just about anything you desire. Things got dangerous though, and we nearly lost her, but Edward acted quickly and changed her just in time. She woke up two days later and her new life with her new family began."

"Do you think that is what Joham has? A family for himself?" She asked.

I didn't know, and if I was perfectly honest, I didn't really care about this Joham… it was his offspring I wanted.

"I don't think so Kachiri…" Jasper suggested. "From what you have been saying, it sounds like he has no emotional connection with the ones he impregnates… you said it yourself, he wasn't in it for love. All he wanted was to create this sub-species. He was playing God, not Daddy."

Kachiri scoffed loudly. "You're probably right. I'm sorry, it's just bringing up a lot of memories." She stepped forward sensitively and sincerely. "You, and your whole family, deserve to be saved Alice. Everything you stand for, everything you've fought for. And if there is anything I can do, then I will do it. And I know my sisters will as well… But I don't want this to end in a fight, in a battle, for it would mean their lives would end while I was safe thousands of miles away."

"If we manage to find this hybrid and get back home with in the month then it will not… I have seen it." I interrupted.

"I know, but that's not why I said it…" She paused and took a deep breath. "It is going to be extremely hard to find them in such a small amount of time. Even with your ability, especially if you cannot see them. It could take years. "

"But it's possible…" I breathed.

"And so are their deaths?" She assumed… and assumed correctly. Even with all these miraculous revelations, the future that had once seemed so inevitable was still to be expected. I was sure it would be until we found the hybrid. "I'm sorry Alice. I just don't want you to think that I am the saviour to all your problems. But I will do all I can… Starting with taking you to Chile."

"Thank you Kachiri." Jasper said honestly. "We appreciate how hard it is to be away from your sisters."

"I'm doing this for them as well for you now. I can help save a lot of people… that's all the convincing that I need." She replied with a hard smile.

"A day, you say?" Jasper said, as we all sprinted south-westerly direction simultaneously.

Kachiri shrugged. "Maybe less."

"Alice, what do you see?" Jasper called over his shoulder.

It would take just over twelve hours, but I didn't know if we would find anything when we got there. There was no blind spot irritating my vision. And it would be this that would end up being my biggest challenge. It was all well and good evaluating every step that I take to see if it will lead to a black hole, when in fact it could be the steps that I wasn't taking and the paths that we were not on that could lead to our answers… and I would have no idea until I changed my course.

For the first time in my existence I couldn't rely on my ability to get us out a problem. I would have to be just as aware of the present as I was of the future in order to find this hybrid.

"I don't know." I replied harshly. "I don't know anything anymore." I whispered to myself as we continued on our unknown journey.

A week had passed quickly. We had found nothing in Chile but we had decided to search that area before moving on. It had started raining that night, and it had not stopped since then. It had created a thick blanket of clouds above our heads as well as making tracking even more difficult. We couldn't find a single scent to follow, everything had been washed away. We had found nothing and my visions weren't helping at all. It looked like none of the paths I had planned for us would take us to the hybrid.

Our week had consisted of nothing other than searching - searching for nothing apparently. While back home, everything was going on. Zafrina and Senna had arrived swiftly. Kachiri was pleased. Two surprising people had turned up from Romania… they did not care to defend us, they just wanted to see the Volturi die and believed our small army would be their only opportunity to witness it… or to even be a part of it.

I watched as much as I could. I followed Bella training her body and her shield to fight against our enemy, cheering her on from the sidelines. I watched Emmett tease her relentlessly, though really he was just trying to ease her anxiety and worry. I watched our house, full of family and friends all banding together, all helping each other, all supporting each other. I smiled at my parents and at my siblings as they prepared for the coming weeks, but it ripped my stone heart away when they disappeared into a blackening mist, the one member of my family that I couldn't see…

The sound of thunder and a flash of lightening brought me out of my daydream. Jasper and Kachiri were standing alert, both about twenty yards away either side of me. Their dark eyes were flickering around, but their bodies were both facing me.

The rain had drenched all of us. Jasper's gentle curls had fallen out under the weight of the water. Heavy drops of water fell from his golden locks onto his face. They ran down his cheeks and nose, falling off at his eyebrows and jaw.

It was only then when I realised his lips were moving. I shook my head, and it was as though the action unblocked my ears. I heard everything then. The incredible volume of the rain, the readiness of Kachiri's and Jasper's bodies and the words he was speaking.

"Alice?" He questioned. "Why have you stopped? What have you seen?"

They were waiting for me, apparently believing something was about to happen… maybe even that I had found what we were looking for…

"No, nothing… sorry." I said, as they both relaxed their bodies.

"Ok, where to next, Alice?" Jasper asked me, though his voice sounded a million miles away.

I didn't want to answer. I didn't want to look. It hurt my head to look. A million images flashed before me… none of them staying there for long enough for me to make any sense of them. Some were memories, some were visions of the rainforest, some were of my family, some were of our friends, some were of the Volturi, and some were of the battle… I was thinking about too much, worrying about too much… It was confusing me… It was infuriating me!

"I don't know!" I screamed, tearing out a small tree from beside me and launching it towards another. The sound of the splintering and shattering wood was the only thing I could hear now. There were no footsteps, no one was breathing, there was no thunder, not even any raindrops now. Everything had stopped. Kachiri and Jasper stood there shocked by my outburst.

I didn't mean to take my anguish out on them both. They were just being realistic, trying to take our journey one step at a time. But I was frustrated that they couldn't embrace one ounce of hope. Why couldn't they just pretend to have faith in what I had seen? Didn't they realise that I was practically drowning in their pessimism? I couldn't function like this!

It was the same reason why I couldn't be around Bella while she was carrying Ness. No matter how much I told Edward that it would be alright, he didn't believe me. It got so severe that eventually I didn't even believe myself. I was depressed and I just did not feel like me anymore. I didn't want to get back to that state… It felt like I've only just recovered from it.

I remembered something from many years ago, shortly after Jasper and I had first joined our family. I had caught a vision of Edward writing in one of his journals. It meant the world to me at the time, but now it felt as though it was taunting me.

Alice is the very essence of hope itself, as if it runs through every inch of her body. With Alice around we have nothing to fear, because with Alice around there is always hope, he wrote.

That's how everyone see's me – as 'Little Bubbly Alice'. But they don't understand what happens when my optimism is ripped away from me. It takes away my very essence. I need hope to function, to survive even.

"Perhaps we should take a break for a while?" Kachiri spoke softly, while Jasper just looked at me, concern taking over his darkening features. "It will give us all time to hunt…" Kachiri continued. "That should refresh us all. We can start again later."

"That sounds like a good idea." Jasper replied, though his eyes did not move from mine. "Meet us back in this spot once you have finished, and we'll do the same."

Kachiri nodded and smiled at me before she sped away to find her meal.

Neither Jasper nor I moved. Nor did we talk. I stood there looking at him, and he stood there looking at me. His expression was one of distress, he was worried for me. I didn't know what I looked like or what he was seeing. I just felt… tired. I felt like giving up. For the first time in my existence I actually felt my age…

"Alice," He breathed. "Are you alright?"

I shook my head slightly. "I can't do this Jasper… I'm not strong enough."

He moved to my side, placing one of his hands on the top of my arm.

"It's just too hard." I said, though my lips barely moved.

He sighed, trying to find anyway to comfort me. "Remember when Bella was still pregnant and we thought the wolves might plan an attack on us while we hunted?"

I nodded.

"Carlisle asked you to find the safest route because it would be the one where I future didn't… disappear. Well, can't you do that, but instead of avoiding that future – run towards it?"

But he didn't understand. "Jasper, in that occasion there were hundreds of routes that lead to safety, but only a couple that led to danger. Therefore, easy work for me. But in this situation there are thousands – if not more – roads that will lead no where, and only one that will take us to the hybrid. Therefore… not an easy job for me!" I practically spat back at him.

Did he deserve it? No, not at all.

Did I feel like rightly apologising? No. I didn't feel like doing anything anymore. All I wanted to do was to go home and accept the coming defeat with my family. And yet, the vision of our miraculous recovery still hovered behind the one of us dying… still possible… just not probable.

I growled harshly and ran away from Jasper. He didn't try to come after me, but he would shortly.

I wasn't really running away from Jasper, I was trying to run away from the version of me that I hated: The downbeat, downhearted, negative, unenthusiastic Alice. I had spent a week in her presence… and I didn't want to be with her anymore!

I was running fast, battering the various trees, twigs and shrubs out of my way instead of letting them brush against my hard skin. I finally emerged from the jungle's edge, skidding to a stop by the side of the majestic river. I looked up towards the clear night's sky and gasped. The clouds were gone and the moon was full, lighting up the rainforest so much that it made it look like day. I could see millions of twinkling stars – each of them powerful and great, no matter how small they looked.

I felt my body falling to the ground before I told it to, but I managed to dignify my landing – making it look as though I was just sitting down with crossed legs. I tilted my head back, just keeping my eyes on the sky above.

I could hear his gentle footsteps then. He was not running, he was just walking. I watched him in my peripheral vision as he sat down beside me.

"Alice… I'm…" He began.

"You know, I almost forgot that there's still beauty in the world… it took me by surprise really. I don't think I've actually seen anything for the last week."

"Talk to me Alice." He begged.

"Everything is just wrong, Jasper! Nothing feels right anymore! And you know what the worst bit is? Sometimes I pretend that I'm there, back home." I laughed to myself ironically. "But it doesn't matter… I can read with Carlisle, and I can worry with Esme; I can syke myself up with Emmett and I can seethe with Rosalie; I can share Edward's anxiety and deep love at the same time and I can duck and dive with Bella as she learns how to fight. I can do all of those things as much as I like, but it doesn't count towards anything because it all ends there! But our family doesn't!" My breath stuttered as I inhaled. "I can't see her Jasper. Our beautiful niece. The most fragile and vulnerable member of our family… and I can't see her." My eyes went dry and I knew I couldn't keep it in anymore. It felt good to finally admit it – aloud and to myself. I leant into Jasper's shoulder and sobbed tearless cries. "I miss her so much, and I don't even know if I will ever see her again. I'm not used to it Jasper! I always find a way to make myself feel better. But I can't now. It's impossible. And I hate myself for not being able to do anything! And that's not like me! But I'm not me anymore, am I? I'm a nomad. I'm not me anymore!"

"Alice, don't say th-"

"I wish it didn't affect me this way…" I sighed, hiding my face. "I wish I could be as strong as you, Jasper."

He scoffed harshly once. "Alice… you are the strongest of us all. I can't even conceive the idea of how difficult it was to see the things you have seen over the last two weeks and still have the vigour to fight them, or to still see the good in our future even when it looks so bleak." He sighed. "I wish I could, I've been trying so hard to feed off your hope, but it has been dwindling the last few days. And I feel like our energy is disappearing along with it. You say you can't live without your hope… well, neither can I."

I looked up from his shoulder. "I haven't felt like my self, Jasper. I'm not used to being in this kind of situation where I can't find a way out. I feel like I've lost my self and I don't know if I can ever find my way back to how I used to be."

"Alice… I know how you are feeling… literally." He laughed. "But it appears as though you do not know how you are truly feeling." He stroked the side of my face, tucking a bit of hair behind my ear. "There is still hope inside you Alice Cullen, it has emanated from you ever since the first time we met. And there is not a single part of my mind that doubts that it will always will."

And then everything stopped, my breathing, my worries, my fears. I felt like slapping myself around the face for feeling how I've been feeling the last seven days. Those words were exactly what I needed to hear, and as usual it was Jasper who delivered them.

With Alice around we have nothing to fear, because with Alice around there is always hope, I reminded was no need to worry now, because despite my belief, the real Alice had never really left.

"Thank you, Jasper." I whispered, feeling a smile finally appear on my face.

I even managed a giggle as Jasper wrapped his arms around my waist. I turned to face him, moulding my body against his. He was the only being on this planet that had the ability to make me forget about everything… and it felt good to let him. But one thing I would never forget would be who I am…

I am Alice Cullen: Daughter, sister, aunt and wife.