Chapter 11

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Freedom felt amazing; not having to worry about someone trying to go after him Alan relaxed more and more each day after he sent the soul away. Eric had stayed true to his promise and spent every day after work teaching Alan how to block out spirits. They went back and forth between their houses everyday to keep it even in who cooked and who slept on the couch. They now even kept a bag of clothes at each other's place so they didn't have to worry about borrowing pjs, not that Eric had actual clothes reserved for sleeping in anyway, but it really spoke to them about their friendship. Even without that though Alan enjoyed having someone to talk to and eat with. He knew he was a loser for being so happy with something as simple as that. Maybe he was just making up for when he was little or maybe he just hated feeling alone and never realized it until Eric entered his life. Well whatever the reason was he was happy with it and Eric didn't seem to mind that he was a loser so he wasn't going to worry about it too much.
Seeing Eric coming down the hall to his desk Alan went over to him before they left for the day. "Since it's my turn to cook I need to stop somewhere and pick up food. Anything you want?"
"Oh, shit, I forgot to tell you, I've got an assignment. I'm heading out now and I'm hoping to be back tonight but I'm not figuring on it."
"Well alright. Hope it goes well for you, stay safe."
"You're talking to me, I'm always safe See you tomorrow." Laughing at his own joke he playfully slapped Alan's shoulder as he walked past him to leave. Since they weren't going to be hanging together he would take some time tonight to practice what Eric had been going over with him these past weeks, before possibly curling up with a book before he turned in for the night. He hadn't done that in a while now that he thought about it. He had wanted to but didn't want to seem rude to Eric when he was over. Okaying his plan in his mind he set off for home, well first to get food then home.

"Hey Alan, since you usually finish early with your work do you mind sparing with me?"
Looking up from his desk he saw Ronald standing over him. After going out with him and Eric a few times he had to agree with what the others said, Ronald was nuts. More insane then nuts really, because he was such a party animal, he made Eric look tame in comparison. Other then knowing he couldn't keep up with him at the bar though they had become friendlier and joked around on occasion.
"Sure I don't mind but shouldn't you be asking William, or Grell, they are your mentors after all."
"Grell says he doesn't spar as to not harm his beauty; William is locked in his office. Usually I ask Eric but he is on another mission or something since I can't seem to find him and he is always telling me you'd be a better partner anyway."
"Oh he does now. Give me two minutes to finish this and I'll train with you, it's been awhile since I did some serious training anyway. I'll meet you there." Finishing up he grabbed his bag and went to meet Ronald in the training room. Since he wasn't a rookie training everyday wasn't mandatory unless you mentored someone that was. Since he hadn't had the free time with all the work his practice was strictly field based which wasn't always the best. And he was curious to know if what Eric told Ronald was meant as a compliment or not.

"You're terrible, my God. Another point for me."
"Oh come on. It's not my fault; I'm not use to using a blade. I need a weapon closer to my own." Ronald slid across the floor as Alan landed another blow on him. He felt bad for kicking his ass this badly but hopefully he was learning something.
"It's a good thing these aren't real or else you would be dead, actually you would have died a few times by now."
"I'm telling you if I could use a weapon closer to my own you'd be sorry."
"What's up with your scythe anyway? It's like nothing I've ever seen before." Going to offer Ronald a hand up he stopped, watching him jump up ready for more.
"You like, specially made just for me. It's able to reap more souls at once."
"So that's how you finish before we do."
With a wide smile he fixed the blade he was using to get it to feel more natural in his hands though he didn't see it happening. Eric warned him that Alan would be a good challenge since he had trouble keeping him at bay but he hadn't figured on it would be this bad.
"How did you get permission for that?"
"Ah Alan I have my connections."
"You took the women from General Affairs out didn't you?"
"So smart it's painful."
"The way your mind works is scary, yours and Eric's. I need to ask though, what is it exactly?" Looking over at it he waited to hear what it was, he had been curious for a while now.
"A lawnmower!" Proudly he announced what it was, let Alan admire it's beauty.
"A what?" He knew of a lot of things both in this world and the human one but he never heard of that. He would have to search around for more information when he had the time.
"A lawnmower, now prepare yourself because this time your mine!" Both took off towards each other meeting in the middle with their weapons locking. Both were focused on the other waiting for them to give out first. Ronald couldn't believe how strong Alan was, he was so tiny. Okay maybe not tiny but he didn't look bulky and he was a little shorter than most. Not to mention he didn't look scary in the slightest. Seeing that he needed to think of a new tactic he went to fight dirty.
"So, are you and Eric a thing?"
"A thing?" Surprised by the question Alan pulled back just enough for Ronald to strike, Alan, being quick on his feet easily blocked and went after Ronald. "No, we aren't a thing."
"Really?" He half expected Alan to say they were, they sure acted like it at times. And Eric seemed so protective over Alan, always took care of him. Maybe it was just an open relationship?
"We are nothing but friends."
"So you wouldn't care that he is dating someone from Affairs?"
"What?" Stopping, he slightly dropped his weapon and just moved his body to defend. Ronald really did suck. "He is dating someone?" Did that mean he had been lying about the late night missions these past few weeks, he didn't have to.
"I didn't think it was a secret; he's been with her for a couple weeks now. I just thought it was strange for him to be with two people at once. I saw him as a player but not like that." He really wanted to say "not with you," but figured now wasn't the time.
"Well we aren't together so it's not an issue!"
"Jealous?" Seeing Alan come after him he saw him become defensive, a side he never saw in him before.
"No! Now you should drop it! It's not right to talk about someone that isn't here!"
"You are jealous! You like Eric!"
"God, get over yourself! Any feelings I have for Eric are just as partners!"
"Partners?"
"Co-workers, you knew what I meant!"
"Ronald! Will needs you ASAP!" Eric yelled from the sidelines seeing Alan and Ronald focused on each other, weapons trembling in their hands as they were locked in attempt to get to the other. They were taking the training very seriously, it was a shame he had to end it.
"Eric?" "Eric!"" Both jumped back to break free from each other and see what he wanted. When did he show up, what did he hear? Ronald grabbed his things to jog out and see what Will wanted all of a sudden quickly thanking Alan as he left, also leaving him alone with Eric. Alan quickly changed knowing Eric was waiting for him, he had an odd feeling about this.

"So we're not a thing."
"So you're dating someone from General Affairs."
If Eric was going to bring up what was the truth and act casual about it then so was Alan. Only he wished he hadn't done it in the hall on the way back to their offices.
"We're not. Oh don't act so surprised, cause you know we aren't. I swear I feel like I'm back in school sometimes."
"Want to be?"
"Want to be what? Back in school? No thanks."
"No, a thing. You and me. I mean we practically are anyway, Ronald isn't the first to bring it up."
"But we aren't technically anything but friends which is the truth no matter what anyone says. Besides you are dating someone."
"So you want us to be."
"No I don't! I never said that! Stop putting words in my mouth!"
"Now you're pissed at me. Is it because I didn't tell you about her? I wanted to tell you about that," He was going to say something about why he did what he did but Alan cut him off before he had the chance.
"You didn't have to tell me anything. But, I would have appreciated not being lied to! We may not be a couple but we're friends. You should have told me the truth from the start instead of coming up missions to get out of hanging out with me. That really hurts you know that. I don't know how many times I have to tell you that I'm not some child! I am really happy for you that you're seeing someone."
"I know that."
"No, you don't! If you did you wouldn't keep doing it!" Standing in front of Eric he stopped him from going anywhere. He wanted his point to get through to him. It felt like even though they had been friends for years, gone through so much together nothing between them changed. Eric still barely talked to him unless he dragged it out of him.
"Alan."
"No, don't do that! I'm tired of this Eric, I really am. Look, I'm going to finish my work and you'll go finish yours and then go do whatever you planned to do tonight and don't worry about me. Oh and if your dating a woman from General Affairs be nice to her. Our jobs can put her through hell sometimes and you should treat her well." With that he walked off leaving Eric in the hall. Eric was confused by what just happened, he had been teasing, just messing around with Alan. He didn't mean to make him angry. He offered to get Ronald so he could ask Alan if he wanted to hang out tonight, now that plan seemed to blow up in his face. Why did Alan get so angry, so defensive? Did he really like him? Could he be jealous, hurt even? Maybe, but he didn't get that feeling from him completely so perhaps he didn't even know he was yet.

Alan sat on his bed holding his knees staring at the book by his feet but not starting at it. He couldn't help but think about what Ronald said to him. Was he really jealous about Eric being in a relationship with someone? Did he wish it was him instead of her? No, that couldn't be it. If anything it had to be that he was jealous over the fact that Eric was in a relationship and he wasn't. That was highly possible since he wanted to be in relationship, one like he read about. He wanted to have someone to talk about anything at any time of day with, someone to laugh with, to cry with, someone to hold him close when they slept, or to just to cuddle with at night. That's what he wanted above anything else. He wanted his first kiss to be with the right person, not just some stranger he knew nothing about. He wanted his first everything to be with the right person. With only one chance to do it right he had to make sure he would regret nothing. The more he thought about what he wanted, what he was looking for he realized he already had it. Well more or less anyway, Eric was that person he felt safe with. He could talk to him about anything and whenever he needed an ear. But they were friends, not lovers; he didn't really see Eric like that did he?

Moving "Daydream" closer to his hand with his foot he opened it to his favorite part. He had read this book so many times he could open it to any line he wanted basically. His eyes easily found the paragraph he wanted. The main character, Suzanne, was running through the woods as fast as she could despite the danger lurking inside of it. She was running to her closest friend's place, just finding out people were hurting her she needed to feel safe. Though the thought of involving him pained her, she cared for him too much to ever cause him pain. Hearing her banging on his door he quickly let her in and held her tight refusing to let ever let her go even before he knew of what was going on. Getting it out of her he swore to protect her, find a way to keep her safe.
"Suzanne, I want you to know something. I love you, I have always loved you. I'm sorry I never told you sooner but now you know and know I'm not going anywhere, ever, unless you tell me to." Kissing away her fears and tears he hugged her closer letting her feel his warmth and love that radiated from him.
"I have always loved you too, from the moment I met you. Only I was too naïve to see it as love. But deep down I'm certain I've always known."
"I would do anything for you." Moving her lips closer to his own he let his hidden feelings for her finally surface and flood through them. No matter what happened next they would be there for each other. At this moment they felt as if they could live forever, even if their bodies perished their souls would still find each other in the next life.
Alan snapped the book shut as he was hit with something, something he had probably always known but was too scared to acknowledge, he was in love, he was in love with Eric Slingby. He had always loved spending time with Eric, loved feeling him near, loved feeling safe and protected by him, loved how Eric wanted to care for him, be with him. But they couldn't be together now, Eric was already with someone, he had waited too long, missed his chance. Lying in bed he bunched up feeling a slight pain in his chest, tears came to his eyes. He was in love with someone he couldn't have. And he wasn't the type of person to cause them to break up. This pain must be the pain of heart break, what a terrible feeling. Probably, the worst in the world.

The next day he focused on acting like nothing was discovered last night, that he wasn't in love with Eric. He did his best to act normal and try not to avoid him yet avoid him so he wouldn't say anything stupid. It helped seeing William had given him a good amount of things to work on, help his mind not to overload with what it learned last night. Stopping for a moment he flexed his wrists, they were really bothering him today for some reason. Normally he never had problems with them but today they felt sore. Wait a minute, he sparred with Ronald yesterday and they both put a lot of effort into it. He probably just pulled a muscle or something, the way Ronald was swinging so widely he probably hit his wrists. Not to mention that he hadn't sparred in so long that his body probably wasn't used to it. With that figured out he went to grab some lunch. Heading to the cafeteria he rotated his wrists hoping they would crack because they were starting to become a bother and he still had work to do.
"Hey Alan, you alright." Running up behind him Eric walked with him to take his lunch as well. Noticing him moving his wrists he questioned him about it.
"Oh, Eric, this is from paperwork and training with Ronald I think. I'll be fine."
"Someone is getting old."
"If I'm old your ancient then." Seeing Eric start to laugh Alan had to catch himself from blushing at how beautiful; Eric's smile and laughter was. He had always seen it, always knew it was but now it felt new, different.
"You seem strange today, you sure everything is okay?"
"Yea, positive, just swamped that's all."
"Well alright. Let me know if you need anything okay."
"Sure thing."
Hitting his back he went to see what looked appealing in the cafeteria and let Alan do the same. Grabbing a simple salad he sat down to play with it before Eric rejoined him at the table and possibly Ronald. To be honest he felt strange and not all that hungry anymore. All these thoughts about Eric and acting cool was starting to get to him. This day could not end fast enough.

Changing out of his work shirt he saw something under his cuff buttons.
"What is this?" Looking closer her saw what looked like a bruise or something on his wrist. Now curious he un-did the other cuff to see almost the exact same mark on his left wrist as well. It seemed strange that he didn't remember getting hit there yesterday but he must have. Shrugging it off he finished changing and went to go make dinner for himself, he was starving from not eating lunch. He wasn't going to worry about it all night, it was pointless. He would sleep tonight and it would be gone by tomorrow when he woke up. He had been injured enough to know that much.

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The reviews are lovely and make me smile and help keep me going though know that I don't base when I update off them. With that though please review and thanks for reading. See you next chapter.
~Femalefighter~