A/N: I want to thank all the readers for their support, the one that left messages, the one that favored the story, the one that simply followed the story. I could list all of you but it would take me a few pages to properly thank you all. Just know, I absolutely had a blast reading your feedbacks. It was really cool. So, I hope you will continue to follow me with part 2.

-45-

She's going home ( REMIX) Part 2

Back from the dead- SKYLAR GREY ft Big Sean, Travis Barker)

I never thought that you and I would ever meet again
I mourn the loss of you sometimes and pray for peace within
The word "distraught" cannot describe how my heart has been
But where do we begin now that you're back from the dead?
Where do we begin now that you're back from the dead?
Where do we begin now that you're back from the dead?

Just like she did in the course of their entire relationship, Meredith stumbled a few times in her attempt to get closer to him, looking distractedly at the names on the tombstones. A cool breeze played with the hair on her neck and it felt like a soft caress or a shiver, or both. The grass was all damp from the rain last night, making her stroll seriously perilous in some places. But the sun was warm against her cheek and she soon reached an area seemingly undisturbed by the weather. The pavement was dry and cracking under her boots. He was close to an oak tree; it had been Cristina's idea. They showed her a lot of different spots, each with descriptions worthy of real estate agency.

"Plot facing west, sunny, surrounded by a nice shade of greenery, ideal for memorials and crypts construction, leased for ten or 25 years. Room for extension."

She remembered that Cristina had been in that weird merry mood all afternoon because of it. They visited a few and they settled on this one because it was closer to the doors than the rest, had a nice shade and specifically had room for extension, whatever that had meant to them at the time. His mom had been a bit disappointed. She thought he would be buried with his father in Long Island. But she settled on what would be the closest for the kids and on the fact Meredith already made a deposit. Well, Meredith didn't want to have to discuss any of these at the time, so as far as she was concerned everything went well according to her plans.

Did she get herself lost? Meredith looked around. Where was it again? Oh yes, it was on the other side. A couple more steps on the side, the tree was there. Carolyn had insisted that his grave faces the sun in the morning.

"In loving Memory of Derek Shepherd,

Loving father and husband,

He believed every day was a beautiful day to save a life.

1966-2015"

It had been Alex's idea. She couldn't care less for what it said, even though, Amelia and her bitchy sisters from hell, were acting like it was a big deal. Alex came up with this and it actually felt very fitting considering the silly manner in which he lost his life. She laughed. It was a strange sound coming from her at that time. But she simply laughed at Alex's suggestion, infuriating the grieving Shepherds a little more and when she signed the form she knew it had been the perfect thing to say about her dead husband. He loved saving lives more than life itself. More than being a brother and a son, he had been her silly husband trying to make a difference, giving strangers, the time she felt she selfishly deserved.

Meredith contemplated the tombstone for a whole minute. She had no recollection of the day she stood there for the last time. She remembered people patting her shoulder left and right, like she was a sick beast waiting to be put out of her misery... and maybe she was... At the time, it certainly felt like it. Meredith took a deep breath as she crossed her arms on her chest. It had been a beautiful ceremony. She didn't remember it that way of course. She only remembers it in painful, ineligible gibberish, painful cuts of her own history, things she rather doesn't wanna know about herself, things to be forgotten. It was quite a beautiful stone, Caroline chose for her son. Yes, she did choose the stones and marbles. It seemed she knew a lot about that. Well, Derek did learn a lot from her. Meredith tilted her head again, feeling the knots in her stomach again. She needed to do this. She simply needed to believe in something. What to believe? What to say? Where was he? What happened to her? They were all questions she could not answer but she knew she needed to try. She closed her eyes and tried to imagine him and found out she couldn't. She felt a tear in the corner of her eye. This thing they had... It seemed it was yesterday, she woke up on the floor with him in her mother's house, in the old sterile house and feelings marginally grew from there, ran wild, transform her in such ways, she didn't recognize herself most days. It seemed it happened just yesterday, when she opened a door for police officers, when she saw him lying in that bed on life support, when she signed those damn papers, when she fussed over what clothes he should be buried with, when she screamed hysterically at the funeral home, when her life got simply torn apart. It was this deeply rooted misery that actually gave her strength to talk. She did a horrible thing after all...

"Alright, what am I doing here? It's so stupid. You're probably not even here, are you? Are you here, Derek? Are you listening? I don't really know what to think. But I will pretend you're listening…"

Meredith sighed. She closed her eyes again.

"I need to do this. We used to talk… and it was the deal… we can't stay mad at each other…We have to love each other even when we hate each other… It was the deal… I just… I guess… I'm ready. I'm ready to talk. I know you can't talk back but I just feel ready to open up about a few things that had been bothering me to say the least."

Meredith swallowed hard and opened her eyes, staring at the stones. It wasn't fair that she was made to feel guilty.

"I'm so ready to talk indeed and tell you how angry I am. I am furious. I'm mad at you. I've been mad at you for a long time now. I am angry, Derek! This is your fault. You made me do this. You made me do this... You were irresponsible driving that stupid car, helping those stupid people, being a stupid hero, getting hospitalized in that Emergency ward filled of even more stupid people and as a result I had to sleep with another man… I had to... I slept with someone else... and it was nice and wonderful… and I loved every minute of it… I felt free for the first time in months… And I wish he wouldn't leave… despite the fact I barely know him. Everything is better than that empty bed where you're not there... Even a complete stranger is better! And it's all your fault, Derek! You wasted time going to DC and leaving me... I didn't have enough time. There were hundreds of things I wanted to tell you. Now I'm just... Now I can't... And... I slept with someone else... I'm not sorry...You made me like this! I'm weak because of you... You made me do this! You might be angry where you are… wherever you are... and you might not like what you see, but I want you to know I don't care. You can go to Heaven or you can go to Hell, Derek Shepherd, I'm never going to apologize for what you made me do! I'm not a whore! You better not be thinking it... If you do, I swear...I'm not a whore anyway. I've loved you... I still love you... There's a part of me that I lost and I will never get it back. A part of me who is so mad at you for leaving us is also the part of me who will love you forever."

Meredith took a sharp intake of breath.

"That said, I cannot hold on to this anger forever… I cannot wait for it to dissipate forever. I cannot be angry with my dead husband forever. I don't wanna be angry. I don't wanna be sad. I don't want my children to grow up with a broken-hearted mother. I don't want them to feel my pain. I need to be better for them. Still, I don't know what to do when you're not here… I'm sad when you're not here. I can't breathe when you're not here."

Meredith paced and wiped the tears from her eyes.

"Sometimes, I just closed my eyes so I can remember the sound of your voice and the last thing you said to me… and the last time we made love… And it's becoming more and more difficult and it's more and more painful. I can't live in that moment for the rest of my life. It's too exhausting. I'm exhausted. I'm so exhausted. I wish things were different. I just keep trying to think of you as if you just went on a holiday and you're not. You're here. You're buried here. You're not gonna go anywhere. I'm on my own. When I no longer know how to be on my own..."

She crossed her arms on her chest.

"So, what am I doing here? Am I here to break up… with you… Derek Shepherd? I wish at least... I just... I'm here to reclaim my freedom. Death did do us apart. So, I'm really here to make it official... I'm here to tell you how much I love you…how thankful I am that you were ever in my life. I never love anyone or will ever love anyone as much as I love you. But I will smile again… I will live again… I won't wait for you to come home anymore. You're gone. I will accept that what we had, however magical was it, had a time limit... had an expiration date… and I have to go on… I will try to be a loving mother to our children… You know how I just suck at it sometimes. Well, I promise you I will do better. I know I've been ungrateful these days... because you didn't exactly leave me alone. I have them... and they're a nice blend of you and me... I know I should start being grateful. I'm not there yet. But I will get there because you were the best thing that ever happened to me... But I don't wanna be just the sad widow anymore. I don't want them to grew up like I did. I want more… You showed me there was more to life. So, I want to say that I'm letting you go... for real this time... When I told you before that it was fine… It was fine for you to go… Let's face it, I wasn't really ready. But now, I really think I am. We can love each other. But we will never ever be together again. I will no longer be your wife, just your wife… I will be Meredith again. I just want to be Meredith again. I just need to... be me... I wish that you'd be happy for me wherever you are... I wish Heaven existed so that I can know for certain you're in a much better place... I just wish this was all part of a great plan for greater things and at the end of all of this... I will smile with you again..."

Meredith sat down and slowly took off her ring. She pulled it into her necklace, closing her eyes as the breeze was shaking the tree above her head. She breathed in and out slowly and felt an intense sense of relief. The tear dried on her cheek before it reached down. It was followed by a wave of peace, as the trees silently joined in her prayers.

Vika and Kyle were in the middle of doing something unholy, playing Halo 3, when they finally heard from Warren in the form of a text message sent on both their smartphones. He was telling them that although he was still in meeting with members of the board, their suspensions had been lifted. They were both due back to work tomorrow. The surprise didn't have time to fully register on Kyle's face that Vika bolted from her seat. She grabbed her scattered belongings in the hallways downstairs and her keys. Kyle frowned as he followed her downstairs.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm going home."

"Why?"

"Because I have more than one set of clothes."

"No, but really why?"

"We're going to see each other again. Don't worry!" She told him.

She was half the door before he pulled her back by the sleeve of her leather jacket.

" But why are you leaving now?"

"Listen, we had tons of fun but well at some point… we all have to get back to what we know."

"It doesn't make any sense."

She frowned. He repeated again in confusion.

"It makes absolutely no sense."

"You don't make any sense!"

Vika's temper started to flare unexpectedly. What could be so hard to understand?

"Vika…"

"No, you live here all by yourself because you carefully choose to avoid this kind of complications. Hell, even your son, had never been in that house. Now you want me to stay, I should be the one asking why?"

She could see she just hit him straight where it hurts. She didn't felt any remorse though. Her cruel words did the trick. He let go of her.

"I don' t get you."

"Not a problem. Not a lot of people get me. I'm used to it in case you didn't notice."

To say she was used to the rejection was an understatement from Vika's part, she was so used she was making the moves even before the feeling of rejection could be born. She looked at him hard, resenting his clinginess already. What would he have her do?

"So, that's it! You will just take your keys and leave."

"Well, I guess I should thank you for the food now. Where are my manners?" She said again, her voice laced with bitterness and anger.

Kyle took a step back, his face showing his confusion.

"That's right. That's the real me... That's what you get for playing with fire... Because this " can't-bother-to-give- a- fuck" monster in front of you has absolutely no patience. This Kitty appreciates its freedom. She'd rather not mess with your schedule and wish humbly you would not fuck up hers. "

"Vika..."

"You should have just let go...sooner..."

"You know I wonder what it is with you that you don't let people in."

"Oh you didn't hear! I had a difficult childhood."

"I call bullshit."

"Suit yourself. Bye!"

She ran to her bike and started the engine furiously. She skidded noisily in the driveway before reaching the streets without stopping.

Kyle fumed then scratched his head in exasperation. Then, he grabbed his car keys and his jacket and got into the Lamborghini. He already reached the bridge at the end of town when he realized he did not have any shoes on. Tailing her had been easy enough especially when he broke every rules in the book. When he had her in sight, he slowed down and followed her as she took the opposite direction of the medical center. She was no longer in such a hurry he saw. She stopped midway into a Whole Food and he stayed in the parking lot as she entered the market. When she came out helping an elderly woman to her car, they chatted amiably for five minutes. Then the woman hugged Vika and climbed into her car. Vika put all her groceries into her backpack and got back on the road. She did another stop into a gas station to fill her tank. Again, she seemed to know the employee and the boss. They laughed at something she said and she drove away.

Who we are – RED

They drove for thirty-five minutes amidst the traffic, taking the US 301 and Exit toward Rowe Blvd and Stevensville. She finally entered the driveway of one the beautiful multi-stories beachfront properties that paved the area. It had a grey slated roof with stone exterior cladding, large bay windows with white curtains.

She put down her backpack and she made the combination to disconnect the alarm. Kyle swallowed hard. He looked at Warren's message again on his phone, no longer wondering what could have possibly set her off. A few seconds later, she startled him with a knock on his window.

"Satisfied, Mr Mousy?"

"You could have told me."

"Why? I'd rather not change a thing of what happened between us. But that's it." She teased.

He angrily pushed the driver's door open to get down.

"Because… Did you stop and speak to all these people because you knew I followed you?"

"Self-centered much?"

"You like to play games. But you don't need it..."

"Believe it or not, I'm the most open person in the world. It's not my fault if you can't read me."

"Nobody sane can read into your riddles and your lies... "

She rolled up her eyes in defiance and shrugged.

"Don't do that!"

He pushed her against the car as an SUV passed by rather slowly, its driver watching the two curiously.

"You wanna get rough here. I can take it, Kyle." She smirked.

Instinctively, he had wanted to put her out of harm's way since he didn't think much when he parked along the sidewalk, and they were practically in the middle of the street. He let go of her arm, knowing he was watched. It was quite a residential area and though no one was in the streets, he could feel the gazes of neighbors lurking behind their flowery curtains. He looked around before focusing on her again.

"I will even…like it." She whispered seductively.

She smelled of sweat, sweets and cigarettes. It was all sweet and sour and he realized it was kind of familiar and pleasant to him. She struggled to grab her pack of cigarettes in her back pocket.

"Stop playing!" He shouted grabbing the cigarettes before it reached her lips.

"I'm not playing. This is the most sincere picture of me. I'm just that simple. I can't be caring. I don't want to. You knew very well the first time you saw me. I never concealed my devious ways."

Kyle snorted sarcastically, running his hand through his hair in utter frustration. He took some pleasure when his reaction confused her, and the smirk faded on her lips.

"Oh! But no, the problem is you do care, Vika! You go the extra mile in everything you do. You spent your time caring for people... all the while pretending you do not."

Vika looked elsewhere, swallowing hard. She tried to smile again but he could see he finally got through to her. He could start getting even with her.

"You are so off."

"Don't want to get too attached... In case you get hurt... You just can't take the heartache... I get that... Believe me I get it."

"Shut up!"

" There's no reason you wouldn't tell the truth other than the fact that you do care about me. You care about making an impression. If anything I should be the one asking you why you would care so much! I won't. It worked anyway. You did leave an impression on me. I'm less hypocritical than you are. I can't pretend nothing happened between us and that we're back to being strangers. We are not strangers. I will never accept that. Be prepared because I'm in your world now... There's something you need to know about me... I learn to read I was 2 years old. I took apart the family tv screen I was five. Got my first scar too in doing so. What I don't understand I take apart... What I don't know I study... This is my warning to you... Because let me make it abundantly clear that I do care about you, I want to know what happened to you, I want to know what made you this way. I don't care to get burn. I don't care to get hurt. If anything I will hurt you back... I will crash your world before you know it and build something else with you... Something that will suit us both... I'm probably that much of a selfish asshole. That's my promise to you..."

He saw her eyes widened in deep fear at the prospect. It make him smile how adorably innocent she looked right now. Vika opened her mouth, struggled for a minute to find her words, than she gave up and pushed him aside. Fuck ! She didn't feel like explaining herself anyway!

She turned on her heels and ran back to the house.

"See you tomorrow, Vika! I will ask that you be on my service from now on. You need a specialty. You need a teacher. Let's start with that..."

She turned angrily as he knew very well it was an offer she couldn't and wouldn't refuse and the feeling of being suddenly trapped didn't sit well with her right now. She got back on her steps, determined to crush him, his smirk, his beautiful car, she picked up an old piece of wood on the lawn.

"Go to hell !"

"I will… with you. We're a team now." He said with a devious smirk as he drove away, leaving a breathless Vika behind. She threw the wood but it didn't land a strike. Vika just stood there trying to catch her breath.

"Dammit! Damn you Vika! Don't you dare! Don't you dare believe in a word he said... He is just an asshole... He almost let you down already. Don't you dare believe again!" She screamed in utter exasperation at herself, wiping hurriedly a tear. "Dammit!"

"I knew you wouldn't be mad at me forever."

Meredith looked around her with a shiver. The sun was searing hot on her skin. That much felt real. The light was almost blinding where he stood. His hand felt warm in hers.

"I… can't…I… I love you too much to stay mad. That's not fair. "

"I don't like it when we go to sleep angry. "

"I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too…and then I am not."

"And then I am not…"

"I love you Meredith."

Meredith woke up startled by the phone in her pocket, sunglasses on her nose. She bolted upright looking around her. She didn't remember falling asleep on a dry patch of grass. The sun was really warm on her face. She took the phone, groggily.

"Hello?"

"Bonjour, mon amour?"

"Hey, "Princess Cristina"?"

"How are you today ?"

"I should be asking you this question. Did something good happened? You seem awfully cheery."

" Well, I got laid last night. And you were absolutely wrong, it didn't help."

" So..."

"You suck at giving advice. That's for one thing."

"I do? But you sound better than yesterday...So I guess I was not too far off..."

"That's because Jo's mechanical heart prototype stopped working this morning. They have to push back patient trial for a few months. You should have seen Shane's face. That actually helped a lot... Much more than the sex... "

"Oh that's so sad!"

"That's wonderful news, you mean!"

"That's exactly what I meant."

"By the way, my head is filled with new ideas but I can't tell you till I have done more research on it... Just know that I discussed them with Erwan...and the boys..."

"Who's Erwan?"

"You know Burke's man... His resident... Bambi number 2..."

"The Canadian guy? Or the blonde Justin Bieber?"

"The Canadian guy."

" Oh Droopy!"

"The one... I get confused with all these nicknames!"

"You had sex with Droopy?!"

"No!"

"Liar!"

"Ok. I did, so what? You asked me to look into my network. He is part of my newly created data base of available lovers. I did what you asked."

"He is Droopy!"

"He is actually quite smart. It's really bizarre. Who knew there was a surgeon beneath that cap! He gave some great insights and he woke me up so I don't miss the day."

"He woke you up?"

"Yup, no walk of shame, we walk together to our respective cars... like grown-ups."

"Cristina..."

"I know, I know... I berated you for welcoming Bambi's Spawn into your life and now I..."

"You screwed Bambi."

"I did. But he..."

"He wasn't a virgin? Reassure me."

"Nope, he wasn't. Definitely wasn't..."

"So he was the one... last night."

"It means nothing. He is just... Wallpapers... Spreading the Wallpapers effect with his tender hips."

"What's the "wallpapers" effect ? "

"You know, it feels unnecessary because paint is easier on the eye... but then it really shift the mood of a room, it gives it energy and personality... and you just feel...recharged. You're still not fond of wallpapers in general though."

"Wallpapers then?"

"Yes!"

"Well, if you feel better! Great! Good luck for your research then!"

"Thanks! So what did you do? Did you get laid? I bet you chickened out, you big Chicken!"

"…Yes… I did… I chickened out." Meredith mumbled after a brief hesitation.

"I knew it! I know you so well! Where are you now?"

"Lying on Derek's grave. I came to visit him. We had a talk. Well, I did talk, hopefully he listened... or not... I don't really know how this grieving widow thing works!"

"You can say Derek and... grave in the same sentence? You went to a cemetery? The cemetery? How?!"

"Well, baby steps…"

" You did get laid, you liar?"

"What?"

"Don't worry I won't ask with who? He's probably married or something…"

"He's… not... "

"Meredith..."

"I don't...Know… I didn't ask."

"Oh I had a weird appalling thought ! Tell me it's not Alex!"

"Ew! No! He may be the last man standing in Seattle Grey, I wouldn't jump him."

"With those simple words, I just feel relieved."

"I may have sleep with a married man, Cristina."

"I am relieved indeed. It's nothing out of ordinary for you. Why didn't you tell me sooner ? You're lying to me now?"

"I don't know. You lied to me too."

"I lied about his identity not about the fact I got my jolly's off. It's not a real lie... It's a colorless lie. It's not even a lie..."

"I just didn't want to disappoint your expectation that I was a big chicken and all..."

"You thought I wouldn't be happy for you."

"No, Cristina, it's just weird. I don't even know if you should be happy for me. There is no story there."

"You're lying on Derek's grave on a Friday. That's weird. That's a story!"

"But the place is really awesome… the shade, the breeze, the landscape. It's urban but at the same time. It's really nice. Only thing missing are the ferry boats… But this well, this looks like heaven for him. "

"Thinking of extending property…"

" Why not? It could be a long term investment. A family thing. We could all gather here. You know, you, Alex, me, my children, Alex's children, and your people… "

"My people?"

"I don't know… Whoever you deemed worthy of joining our family concession... Droopy boy or Cryptic asshole, we don't discriminate."

"You do realize I'm jewish."

"What? Jewish people don't get buried?"

"Forget it! You're right! To hell with this! I say I will be buried with you guys. It's going to be more fun anyway than being in the ground with my mother. "

" I know it will be awesome. All of us together… I will ask for prices. Maybe we can negociate a deal or something. I'm rich now or I think I am... Rich people always negotiate to get the best prices."

"You sound like my mother right now. I'd say you're doing great. About estate prices? What about your house?"

"I'm not selling it."

"What will you do with it then?"

"I'm hesitating between making it a very advanced surgical lab, building a superhero lair full of useless gadgets, or I don't know creating a museum to the glory that was Derek's hair."

Cristina burst into laughter.

"I know… I like the last option too."

"You're gonna make me cry. Stop!"

"Why? It is funny right?"

"Yes… It is… I can't believe he is dead. He is really dead, isn't he?"

"Yes, he is… dead."

"Are you okay?"

"I'm oddly… Well, I'm not okay but… I will be. I know I will be."

"Mommy!"

Meredith straightened up as Zola and Bailey ran into her arms.

"Oh we have company! The children are here!"

"The children! Get me my goddaughter on the phone!"

"Who's on the phone with you?"Zola asked.

"It's Aunty Cristina, you wanna talk to her?."

"Yes!

"Me too!"

"You will talk to her too, Bailey."

Maggie gave Meredith a plaid and they put Ellis's car seat down. Then the sisters hugged.

"Hey!"

"Hey! When you said you wanted to have a picnic… I didn't realize it would be in a cemetery."

"It's so nice. There's such a nice view. I never realized last time I was here. "

"Well, I can see… Bucolic indeed."

"The weather is so perfect for the season."

" Chicken?"

"Sometimes I'm just in the mood… Not really healthy… I know… I'm not a very good mother. The kids know that."

"I bought Happy meals on my way here. I'm not a very good aunt. I can cook and at the same time I can't. I'm dead tired. I'm a useless aunt. "

"Well, we're truly sisters."

"You were not at the hospital last night."

"I was not…"

"Good for you. You stayed at a hotel like last time, right?"

"I thought you would be mad at me… "

"I thought about it but I don't know what I would do in your situation. So I try to withdraw any premature prejudices for now… I'm on a judgement diet if you prefer."

"Sounds nice I like that. You're already looking so much perkier."

" I know… Isn't that Alex?"

"Yes, I invited him too. Hey Alex! Where's jo? How's your new place?"

" Much nicer than here. She is working. What are you doing here, you crazy chicks?"

"We're having a picnic."

"In a cemetery… Can you even do that?"

Meredith shrugged.

"I don't know but the fries will get cold. We got wings too.

" I got Milkshake too. You want one, Alex? I bought plenty. I love milkshakes!"

" You're actually encouraging this thing, Pierce."

"She invited me. I like picnics. And… There are much creepier places than this one."

"I love her. She is my sister. Come on Alex! Come on people! The weather is perfect. The grass is perfect, fresh and not itchy. I was with Cristina a minute ago… and we were discussing the possibility of all of us buying plots here. Imagine that!"

Alex stared at Meredith.

"What's a plot?"

"You know where we are. We are at Derek's. But this here and here… We are free to buy. "

"I will pass."

"Why ?"

"I can't be stuck with you for eternity. Imagine there is a life after death. I can't be spending it with you guys."

"Sorry, Mer, I can't really."

"No, Maggie, you're bailing on me too."

"It's not that! It sounds really nice and all. But I'm gonna be cremated. I want a third of my ashes spread on the Kilimanjaro… Another third will go into the sea…"

Alex and Meredith turned to her with wide eyes.

"… The rest of me… will go into space. My dad too… It's all been prepared since I'm nineteen."

"Into space?!"

"Well, they used nice little capsule to send you in the atmosphere. It's awesome."

"That's sounds nice. Now I want to talk about it to Christina."

"I will try to find the brochure for you."

"Am I the only one who like his life and doesn't intend to make post-death arrangements anytime soon."

"You have to have thought about it. It's important."

"It's not… I'm still breathing."

"But you told me yourself you never know when you're no longer breathing."

"It's probably not a conversation… we want to have sitting on Derek's plot."

"Alex, you told her that? When?"

"There was a shooting yesterday in the hospital, Mer! Were you even there?"

"He was panicking…"

"I was not."

"He was a bit scared for you and Jo…"

"How cute!"

"I know! He was all about being a hero..."

"Okay! Stop! It was very reminiscent of Gary Clarke I admit. I may have had a bit of an episode but I was not panicking... I was very put together for someone who's been shot once. "

"Yeah? Gary Clarke? That's right. I didn't really think about that before. I've become so blasé. It's a problem."

"You think? I think you're good all things considered."

"Thanks Maggie!"

"It is a problem. You're crazy… and you're crazy too… That's another problem." Alex said.

Meredith and Maggie looked at each other before bursting into laughter. Alex just shook his head but he could barely suppress the smile on his lips.

XxxxxxoOoxxxxxX

EPILOGUE

XxxxxxoOoxxxxxX

The driver had just parked in the driveway in front of his house when his phone rang. The sky was a swirling grey and midnight blue at this hour, a chaotic blend of clouds of different sizes that shift with the wind. It was a day without moon and the house was only a couple yards away from the inlet. The waves noisily rolling on the shore, a constant motion in the darkness. He answered with a smile.

"You called. I thought we were not doing that."

"I… just… I'm not calling… I'm just checking on you, it's not the same."

"What's the difference? I'm just curious."

"It doesn't involve much talking. We're not having a conversation."

"You know what cannot be for sure considered a conversation? Phone sex."

"Like hormonal college students living apart? You think we're like these people we probably hated in College?"

"You're doing it. We're having a conversation."

"Right. You're so right."

"I'm mostly almost always right, Meredith."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"You're full of yourself."

"You're the one who called.

"I just wanted to know if you made it home safely."

"How nice! I did! You caught me in my driveway in fact." He said as he got down and left a tip for the driver.

"I hate myself right now."

He laughed.

"How was your day with your husband?"

"Cemetery are quite fun. We had a picnic there."

"You are an original, woman! Do you know that?"

"I am… What can I say? I'm not even trying to be. I just am. Okay, that's all!"

"You're hanging up already? It's quite brutal!"

"I'm sure you have plenty things to do. You must be exhausted."

"I am… yes…"

"Your meeting went well?"

"I managed to get some positive results out of it."

"I'm glad."

"Meredith…"

"Okay now I'm hanging up. Have a nice life."

"You are damn right cruel."

She laughed and hung up.

Meredith stood against the mantle of the chimney. Alex, Maggie, and Arizona could be heard upstairs as Alex was moving Maggie's boxes to her room. Zola was trying to teach Bailey how to play card but Bailey had a better idea, it involves throwing every card on the carpet. Ellis was playing with her mobile. Meredith couldn't help the smile.

Dead Inside- MUSE

Pushing the door behind him, Warren crossed the interior courtyard garden dimly-lit. It was a neat space, bright as sands, with minimalist high-end furniture. The alley was curved to soften the effect, with an odd numbers of black marble stepping stones, and ample greenery colonizing the fence. Nature still managed to look tame despite its wildness. It looked like something between the japanese garden and a sub-saharan oasis.

The doorway was slightly ajar and Warren was greeted by a large American Mastiff who jumped on him as soon as he pushed the door.

"Why is Winston wet?!" He yelled, half-collapsing under the weight of the dog. Winston danced around him for a few minutes and he simply patted his head to calm him down.

"Dunno, he insists on using the pool or the beach when we're not there. I guess it's his little "me" time. We should respect that."

He dropped his bag in the lobby next to her leather boots. A thick layer of mud covered them contrasting with the beige natural carpet. He was seriously tempted to toss the shoes outside, but instead he grabbed his and hers and threw them in the closet behind the mirror. He distractedly went through the mail as Winston sniffed the bag suspiciously letting a small dissatisfied grunt when it was clear there was nothing of interest for him in it. Warren opened the biscuit box on the console to give Winston. The dog happily accepted his gift, jumping mid-air to catch the sweets, before he crawled in a corner to play with a tennis ball.

"It's dangerous. You didn't lock the gates like I told you. "

"Nope, I forgot, daddy."

He undid his tie slowly.

"Don't call me that."

She liked to play. But he was not always in this kind of mood, especially after the two days he had.

"Are you going to spank me now?"

Vika turned and leaned on the counter, a wooden spoon in her hands. He was giving her the face he gave when he hesitated between running or punching someone. He looked positively aggravated. She smirked defiantly.

"Okay, I'm dropping the little girl act. I will just feed your stomach and be done with it."

"Probably the best thing you would do, believe me! I'm so hungry."

However his eyes never left the mail he was going through. Electricity came in early. Vika bit her lips. He was going to have a fit when he saw what the mechanic charged to repair her bike. He would tell her to buy a new one. He had been campaigning for three years against her Ninja. Worst, he wanted to buy her a car. Sure, he had all the arguments in front of him now. On cue, Warren's eyes widened at the cost of the repair on the Ninja. But he surprisingly said nothing. He signed a check for the electricity bill, and put it back in the lobby.

"Platinum card comes in handy sometimes." Vika said as she dropped his card on the counter.

He still didn't say anything.

"It's okay."

"You're not going to give me hell for spending money I don't have... Or being generally irresponsible... Motorcycles kill thousands of people each year... and... you need a car... blablabla..."

"If you know the speech, why would I waste my energy! It's like with the door... We've been there, done that, Vi... Hum ! Something smells good. What did you make?"

He looked up for the first time and she couldn't be more proud of herself.

"I know. I surpassed myself."

"How is that even possible?" He asked with a smirk.

She tilted her head back, and the tattoo on the side of her neck stood out, Ambesa, written in amharic alphabet.

"I can't say. It's a miracle."

He undid the first buttons of his shirt and came behind her.

" Oh you didn't? Injera… … Azifa… Gomen… and Kitfo… I like."

"All your favorites..."

"You did all this?"

"Well duh! I spent the afternoon working on this baby after you sent me that message. Wasn't too hard following the recipes… I outdid myself."

"Oh that's what I'm calling a show of gratitude!"

"I was in the best of mood. I still am. It's all thanks to you."

"Just like that, my mood has greatly improved in a matter of minutes."

"Good. I only aim to win. You didn't eat?"

"Nope, I had a coffee this morning and a couple of cold club sandwich on the plane."

"I love these little sandwiches."

"I spared you one but I forgot it… somewhere."

"That's okay. That's the thought that count." She kissed his cheek soundly.

"Just like the thought of locking the door after you leave?"

Vika snorted.

"You're never gonna let me get away with that?"

"Who would I be if I did that?"

"I had the alarm on at least."

"At least…"

"You're right, Chief, I apologize profusely."

"Apology is accepted. I'm gonna take a shower. "

"And will find your dinner served when you come back? I don't think so your highness. I'm in a good mood, don't ruin it. I'm no Martha Stewart! By the way, I need a shower too. I worked hard to please you, Master."

"Very well, let's eat. Then we will hit the shower together! Sounds fair to you?!"

"Wash your hands, darling." She snapped back.

"You're always so testy when I appeal to your domesticated side."

"I don't have one of those."

"I'm sorry you do. You really do. Didn't Kyle think so?"

She lowered her gaze to the pan. She refused to meet his eyes for sometime. Just like that, Warren knew something was up with her. He grabbed a bottle of wine and two glasses in a cabinet.

"I didn't ask him really. However I had the best birthday ever."

She hugged him tight from behind, her forehead resting on his back.

"You're welcome."

"I missed you."

"Missed you... too."

"You realize you're the only one I care about on this earth?!"

It was simply true. She didn't have room for anyone but him in her life. She didn't care in anything else nor did she believe in any one else. Of all the men she ever met, he never disappointed her or lie to her. It was just easy the way they understood each other's needs.

He nodded absentmindedly taking his shirt out of his pants with one hand to be more at ease, placing the bottle carefully over the counter. He didn't look at her when he answered.

"That makes me feel very special. But I don't mind you finding other interests, you know that. I only want you to be happy."

Vika bit her nails for a minute, then grabbed the plates and put them on the coffee table. She just didn't need anyone else in her life. He was staring at her she realized and she had been so lost in her thoughts she didn't notice. Their eyes met and he could read her like she could read him. Through the bay windows, Sidibe, Warren's boat stood tall and proud in the darkness.

" And I am...I'm fucking ecstatic." She lied, her face tense.

" Vika..."

" I'm just glad you're home. So, how is Catherine?" He shrugged as he opened the bottle.

" I told you she is married…"

" I thought it was a joke. Who would want to do that?" Vika chuckled.

" Vika…"

"She doesn't like me. I don't like her."

"You were disrespectful to her from the first time you saw her. She is an attending , she is a very old-school attending... and she is Catherine Avery. You should be..."

"She was a bitch to you and she rejected you. She forbid you to ever made contact with her or her son and basically erased you from her life on a whim…just to come back years later and be all preachy and self-righteous. She can be the hottest grandma on this planet I don't care... I'm still gonna actively hate her guts. "

She licked her fingertips after the first bite.

"It was more complicated than that."

"You always find mitigating circumstances relating to the behavior of all the crazy women in your life."

Warren nodded.

"I found you some… pretty extenuating circumstances all the time."

"I don't like when she uses you! It's sickening!"

"I don't know why you two can't possibly get along? You share very similar traits. She is one of my best friend whether you like it or not and she offered me a job. I owe it to her to consider her proposal with… an open mind. Also, I needed to be out of town so you could open your birthday gift. In a way, you rocking that OR was all thanks to her!"

Vika's face softened at last.

"I did well, didn't I?"

"You did really well and Kyle was excellent too. I saw the kid. He is getting stronger every day. It's impressive."

"He is amazing… Kyle…I will give him that. He's just brilliant... and it's like it's just effortless to him. His technique is flawlessly precise just like yours."

"Not like me… Kyle is in his own league. That's why I wanted you to work with him."

She licked her lips slowly and stared into his eyes.

"Yes, we did work… between doing other things we're also good at. I'm sure you already know that."

"I know that."

"Good."

"I'm glad everything went according to plan."

"Whose plan, Machiavel? We did have a little incident in the OR... "

"Mine... It was anticipated to say the least."

"Okay, it was a stretch like usual but it worked. We saved a kid. All in all, it was like we've been working together for years."

"I hope it'd feel that way. You're very quick to adapt but more firm and more stubborn than he could ever be. You're dominant by nature. You commend authority in an OR despite your lack of experience. I knew that if the situation turned overwhelming you would be quick to put everyone back to work. "

She nodded.

"Thank you, Sir."

"But you shouldn't get cocky, you still have a lot to learn. You're just a resident. You need a specialty."

"I knew it! You put him up to it..."

"What?"

"You told him... Now this prick thinks he knows me! How could you do this to me!" She snapped angrily.

"I didn't tell him anything I wasn't supposed to tell him. I don't even know what I was supposed to have discussed with him... Why don't you tell me what happened to you?"

"I don't want him in my life."

"Vika..."

"He is a jerk."

"Vika..."

"I'm good. You said it yourself. I work hard. So I'm good at what I do."

"You need a specialty."

"I'm general like you. Teach me."

"I don't practice anymore. There's nothing I can teach you anymore."

"I only care about you. Do you care about me?"

"If caring means letting you waste your potential... I don't. See, if caring means hurting you... I'm okay with that. As long as I know it's for your own good. We went this far Vika..."

"But he is just..."

"End of story. Like I said you're good but you're not good enough."

"Well, I will take the compliment anyway. I did work for it… After all, I had to do a few things for everybody to understand the gravity of the situation."

"Is that a problem I will have to solve tomorrow?" He asked wearily.

Vika shifted from her seat and crawled behind him.

"I didn't put my hands on anyone except on the cops… But it was all rock and roll… It was fair game… I did threaten to dismember that girl…and send parts of her to her parents each anniversary. "

"You told her afterwards you didn't mean it, right?"

"Why would I lie to her?"

"Because it's what normal people do, Vika."

"Would you help me if I did kill…her or anyone? I would help you...kill that man... When you're ready. I would..."

He remained silent for a while.

"We already had that conversation. If you want, if you feel the need to kill anybody, you call me. I will see what I can do. And you must absolutely not kill patients. That's a no-no."

" Lesson learned, Boss."

"Vika..."

"Yes..."

"I missed you."

She smiled.

"And…the graveyard of Great Spirits? I thought it couldn't possibly be true?"

"Well, I learned it's best not to judge too quickly. They have some interesting assets and some very rare stimulating cases…"

"So if Catherine is not the woman who kept you in Seattle for two days. Who is that woman?"

"I'm talking to you about the medical aspect… What makes you think there was a woman?"

"Well, before you were my teacher, before we became all that, I was your therapy. I know you. I know you pretty well..." She whispered softly.

Warren scratched his head.

" I don't even get a name?"

"Chances are… I won't ever see her again."

"...Warren."

"I practiced… It was nothing much..."

"So you can teach me!"

"I can't... It was just a consult…on a case. I was really involved in finding a resolution."

"Was it the case you wanted to solve or her? Was she the case?"

"You know the answer to that…"

"I don't... not really."

" I slept with her last night."

"Alright…"

She smiled and crawled back on the sofa with her sigh.

"I said we both made great progress. "

"We're like broken..."

"I know..."

"Catherine is convinced I'm slipping… That I need a new job. There's certainly work in Seattle Grey Sloane and they are on an ascending slope. They have a good staff, cutting-edge equipment, and some great talents, but no direction."

"And a mysterious lady?"

"Vik..."

"I love her already."

"They're missing the fame and recognition. We have all that but the boards they're getting so greedy. They're old and they have no vision for the future. I'm getting bored here. But that doesn't mean I'm going to live... I'm just..."

"You certainly look different than when you left. There is that light in your eyes. Well, I don't agree with all the usual gibberish the empress of bitchiness spout continuously but she got that right about you. It wouldn't be such a bad idea... Maybe I will find a teacher there that's not Kyle."

"I just told you... It was just hypothetic."

"We could move... Winston will love it... The countryside... Ferry boats... He's never been on one. You know how he loves ocean play."

"You want to put distance between you and Kyle so much?"

"I just... I don't like the way he looks at me."

"Why?"

"Because he looks at me the way you look at me..."

"You know how they get...then...I don't wanna believe him."

"Vika..."

"Shh... I just... want to stay with you forever."

"I'm not going anywhere."

"Good."

"Why do I surround myself with women who always want to tell me what to do?

"Because you have mother's issues…" Vika volunteered as she massaged his hair slowly.

"That must be it."

Warren closed his eyes.

"Me, I have daddy issues."

Warren scoffed at that.

"You don't have daddy issues."

Vika smirked mischievously.

"If you say so, daddy?"

She grabbed his jaw forcefully, pulling back on his hair, she kissed him deeply.

The house was quiet with Maggie and the kids being in their rooms already. Arizona had left to go at her girlfriend's house. Alex had left just a minute ago to go home to Jo. Meredith was about to go upstairs and prepare for bed, having done the last of the dishes, when she heard a distinct knock on the door. She looked absentmindedly at her watch. Who could it be at this hour? Alex... Did he left something behind? She looked around before reaching for the door. It didn't look like he forgot anything behind. But to her dismay, she find a hysterical Jackson on her doorsteps.

"Jackson..."

"She is gone. She is just...gone..."