20 weeks

All Sherlock wanted to do was talk, he didn't know what about, but all he knew was he was feeling lonely. He didn't usually struggle like this on his own, he liked the quiet, it gave him time to think. He was sick of all these changes, they were very unwelcome. he couldn't work, he couldn't get through a day without some ailment popping up. He was sick of all of it, he had this money saved up, he didn't know what for, but now that was all going to go on the baby. It just all felt very inconvenient.

He heard Johns phone buz from the kitchen counter, which John immediately tended to, opening the text.

Is Sherlock ok? , Greg

John stared at the text for a moment, confused, before replying.

He's fine, is he not answering his phone again?, John

He hasn't been answering my calls, Greg

John rolled his eyes before replying

Oh, alright yeah he's fine, ill tell him to call you back

Thanks John. Greg replied

John shook his head, not thinking anything of it and looked towards Sherlock's room. Deciding to go check on him, as well as tell him off for not answering his phone yet again.

John watched Sherlock for a few more moments before approaching him. He squeezed the dark haired mans shoulder.

"Sherlock" john whispered

A long groan came from within the pillows as Sherlock stirred.

"Sherlock what's wrong?" John was growing concerned

"Nothing I'm tired' there was a pause before Sherlock continued "I can't do this."

"What?" John asked

"This!" Sherlock bellowed "this fucking mess I'm in now, i don't want a bloody baby I've got no use for one. Its ridiculous! I'm fucking Sherlock Holmes!"

"Yes, I'm aware of that"

"No John, i don't want to be a father, i don't want the baby, i want to get rid of it. I don't know why i haven't before now. Stupid stupid hormones trying to convince me this was the right thing to do..."

"Sherlock come on" John trying to sound comforting

"I don't care, i don't want it in my life it will just be a burden. I have never wanted a child its just a bloody set back, even if its adopted it will come looking for me one day."

John felt himself start to tense up "Well its not the baby's fault if its dad has unprotected sex and wont face the consequences."

Sherlock sighed he nodded briefly before hauling himself out of bed

"I'm hungry, want Chinese?" Sherlock asked the stunned doctor on the swift change of mood

John stirred his spoon in the remains of tea left in his cup. He sat across from Mycroft, who had asked to meet the doctor at a small coffee shop.

"Mycroft there isn't anything else left to say, he's 27 weeks nearly and he's feeling alright, just tired"

Mycroft started at the doctor as he got up to leave "I'll be seeing you again at some point, maybe when it's born? Or maybe i dunno you might come see him before?" Mycroft carried on looking at the doctor "thanks for the tea, I'll let you know if anything changes"

Mycroft sat there to think for a short while after John had left, before deciding. He needed to see his brother.

..

Sherlock sunk back into the sofa. He had become increasingly tired and grouchy over the past few weeks He slouched heavily, one hand on his bump. His phone beeped, signifying a text. He heaved himself up from where he was sitting, one hand holding under his bump. he grabbed his phone from the table and squinted to read the text.

Can we talk? I am outside. MH

What? Sherlock though to himself

Come up. SH

Since when did Mycroft ask to be invited in? Sherlock didn't have much time to ponder over it before there was a knock at the door.

Sherlock made his way over to the door, pulling it open and inviting his brother in.

"I would offer you a drink but i cant stand the smell of tea..." Sherlock explained

"no no, that's perfectly fine, I've only came for a quick chat." Mycroft flickered between a smile and a frown, he couldn't seem to make up his mind which was more appropriate.

"what about exactly?" Sherlock asked, breaking the silence.

Mycroft seemed uncomfortable, he shifted where he stood, not being able to look Sherlock properly in the eye.

Sherlock received a hard kick from the baby causing him to wince.

"What?" Mycroft asked sharply, looking concerned

"Nothing I'm fine..er.." Sherlock gestured for Mycroft to follow him into the sitting area.

Sherlock settled himself back down into the arm chair opposite Mycroft."What was it you had to talk to me about?

"I just wanted you to know, face to face, that i am here for you if you need me' He paused "If you ever need anything... Help, support, money..."

Sherlock nodded taking in the silence.

The brothers stayed sitting for another minute, taking in each others company

Just then there were keys in the door, this signified Mycrofts cue to leave, he stood up, squeezing his brothers shoulder softly and briefly. "You know where I am"

John finally gained access to the flat, when he saw the two men together "Er, sorry, ill just" John went to leave the flat again, but Mycroft stopped him.

"No need John, I was just leaving" Mycroft explained

"See you soon little brother" He walked towards the door, acknowledging John on his way out, before closing the door.

later that evening

All Sherlock wanted to do was talk to John. He felt so lonely since he wasn't able to work at the moment due to his condition, well he worked occasionally. He knew that there were emotions going on with him that he hadn't ever felt before. He knew he felt pretty much devastated all the time. He knew he didn't care about whether it affected the baby or not, in fact he hoped it did, deep down. He didn't want the baby. He just wished non of it had ever happened, This type of involvement with Lestrade was never the plan, but things got out of hand, and here he was..

He remember how it all happened, he himself was drunk of course, so was Lestrade, but he had his self control and awareness, why hadn't he done anything to stop it. He had never experienced true sexual pleasure before. As Lestrade began, wrapping his mouth and tongue around his genitalia, he couldn't do anything but freeze, every muscle in his body frozen solid, unable to move, His head was saying punch the guy, this is wrong its sick... but inside he wanted him to carry on, it felt too good, part of it felt right. All he could do was sit there groaning helplessly in the cab, fingers entangled in Lestrade's hair. What happened after that was all a blur, but he knew that he had sex, he remembered the pain at first, and the pure pleasure afterwards. He couldn't remember seeing Lestrade on top of him, but he knew he was there, he heard his voice in his ear, moaning.

"Bit of a surprise visit?" John called from the kitchen

"Oh er, yeah" Sherlock mumbled

John put down the plate he was holding before coming over, "Are you ok? You seem a but distant.

"Yes, I'm fine" Sherlock replied bluntly

John nodded, and wandered off again to finish the washing up.

Sherlock closed his eyes, a thousand thoughts whipping through his head, before whipping out his phone. Hovering over Lestrade's number.