Summary: At the right angle, in a line of sight, one might wonder why he never stopped staring at her for so much as a second.
Theme: 062. A Reason To Quarrel
Dedication: AnimeFallingStar, thank you!
Disclaimer: If I owned Full Metal Alchemist, that excuse for a sad movie would not have been created. Ever.
Angles
062. A Reason To Quarrel
Replay.
Each night her mind winds back, stops, and she is lost. In the darkness of his cold eyes, the curve of his broken smiles, the deep almost-cracking voice. Roy. Riza is immersed in his scent, the musk of sweat and dirt and the stuff dreams are made of. The stuff of fractured fairytales, with a kiss or a smile or them. Scar and his words click over and over, telling him that he had told the Elric boy the same thing; the truth of that man, in the end, his flames will end up consuming his soul. But she had no warning, no word, no notice. Nothing that did not lie. Then the video crashes to a halt, and she is awake. She is lost in him with her eyes open.
"Kill me." Roy said it every night, trailing her jaw with his velveteen touch and kissing her forehead with cold lips. She came to expect it, and it never stunned her – not even the first time – when he asked. The world saw a leader, his men saw a hero and she saw a monster. But she sees the most beautiful beast there ever was. Even when he bends over backwards not to please people, and snaps things with a glance. Like twigs, hope, belief. She wants to think he can change, because a million others have reformed and he should be no different. He deserved it the most, because he had her entranced. Since forever and a day.
"Never." The word curled up in her mouth, nesting and making a home. How could she ever, even in his ugliest moments? When he roared and spread his fiery talons, and the words I wonder how a world led by a beat in human skin would end up crawled sluggishly through her mind. She could see things coming apart at the seams; people running, hiding from the outside, the realisation that things were not going to change setting in. But even so, the word yes crept back, and even when it almost crossed the boundary it died on her lips.
"Why? Why will you not do it? You promised me you would keep me on track, Lieutenant!" The snarl would come each day, and she would never know how to reply. There were hundreds of useless reasons, but she could never say the right one. She could tell him how he was not always going to be a beast, that even if she killed him it would make no difference or that she wanted to protect him and that would never change. No matter what, until the end – she could repeat it over and over to herself – she loved him. But these things were never said, and when she awoke in the morning with the memory of another quarrel hanging in the air she could still not bring herself to raise her gun and finish the entire situation for good. Her heart was tearing from the heavy load placed on her, but she still could not. It was wrong, she reasoned. He had saved the world. He had saved her.
Then he would tiptoe over to her seat with a hurt expression, kiss his precious doll and stroke her hair with one gloved hand. The threat of charred flesh always hung in the air, but he never threatened her – it was clear that she could not leave him without words – and that was enough. She could never believe that he would do what she could not. Even in the most dangerous beast, beauty remained. His smile told her that every day. With that smile, nothing mattered anymore. He must have known. Then she is absorbed again, in his jaw and neck and chest with her lips because she wanted him so much.
Then the repeat continued.
I am still feeling rather aggrieved over chapter ninety-four. I think it is starting to reflect in the way I write Roy, because I cannot help but think of a wolf in the clothing of a sheep. Then I feel bad, because I still love him and Hawkeye. I cannot win. So therefore, I dislike this one.
Preview: For his Queen, a special seat.
Reviews are loved. :)