Hey Guys! I'm sorry I have taken so long to update! I promise I'll try to update faster for future chapters, better late then never, hey? :)

Oh um, this chapter changes point of view a lot but I say so you will know :)
Once again thanks to Veronica and Caitlin for helping cure my writer's block and betaing haha that doesn't sound right.

Anyway, this chapter is super depressing in parts so enjoy!

Chapter 7: Plans

CPov

The next day I turned up to school confused. I needed to find Jace; I needed to talk to him. Last night, shortly after I returned home from the park I received a text from some unknown number.

Hi angel, its jace. tell seb I drew the pic of me. thats wat he thinks.

What? Why would Jace do this? And how the hell did he get my number? Probably Izzy. God, I'm so stupid. How could I have thought that there was something on his face at the park, that there was something more between us? At least now I know, I know his true feelings. I couldn't reply…what would I say?

Shortly after I got a phone call from none other than my very own Sebastian, but I wouldn't speak to him then…I couldn't. By helping to get Sebastian and I back together Jace just proved his feelings. Feelings of friendship. Eugh.

When I was at my locker, I saw a flash of gold. Could it be him? My face brightened at the thought before realising it wasn't his silky locks, but a golden balloon? Who the hell would have a big, golden balloon, and was that writing on it? The balloon and its owner got closer and closer and my heart stopped and I sucked in a breath. It was Sebastian.

I stared at his face as he took one step, and another, and another. Oh god. "Forgive me, Clary!" was what the balloon said in big black letters. Ah, shit. Sebastian looked worried as he came to stand in front of me. A crowd gathered around us, obviously knowing something was about to go down. "Hey." He said in a small voice. I had no idea what to say… I was just so embarrassed, so can you guess what I do to fit the situation? I turn bright red, not a surprise, while nervously tracing the fading scars on my wrist.

The tension was palpable as Sebastian reached out and grabbed my wrists. "Don't do that Clare, you're beautiful and I stuffed up and I don't deserve you and I'm sorry and I really want you to forgive me and even though it hasn't even been a day I miss you and now I'm just babbling." He gushed out quickly in one breath.

Even though Seb wasn't my Golden Boy, he made me happy. I know that that may sound stupid, but he made me feel loved and other than my mum and Simon, who don't really count, I have never felt loved…wanted. Well, at least he did.

I stood there thoughtfully, unsure of what to do when I felt two soft, yet masculine hands cup my face, pulling my gaze to his and breaking my train of thought. Those dark eyes, which easily could have been black, looked into mine questioningly. I sucked in a small breath but didn't move away. He lowered his head down to mine and gave me a soft, sweet gentle kiss. It was caring and beautiful, but I wanted a different pair of lips on mine.

He unwillingly pulled away and I looked around to watching the crowd. I saw an angry storm of amber and my eyes widened. Jace. He was staring right at me and as corny as it sounds, I guess you could say I felt everyone around us disappear, to me there was only us in this world. Unsure of how to respond to him I mouthed a thank you even though I wanted to run and kiss him instead. He sharply nodded once and walked away.

"Hey Clare?" I heard a soft voice. I took my gaze off Jace's retreating back. "Yes Seb?" I replied nicely even though I wanted to push him away and run after my Golden Boy. But before he could continue Isabelle gracefully swooped in. "Clary. We need to talk. Like now." I gave Seb a faked apologetic face and was pulled away by Isabelle.

While Izzy pulled me by my arm to God knows where, I was thinking about Sebastian. I don't understand…he had made me so happy but now I was just so frustrated with him! Then it hit me. It hit me like a ton of bricks. Jace. I wanted Jace. He was so gorgeous and talented and sweet, when he wants to be and I could go on forever talking about him like that. I couldn't be with Seb while I felt like this about Jace; I can't be with him while I feel that way about another. I'm just not like that.

But in a way I'm not surprised. How could someone like Jace, like me? He's…normal, unpolluted… yes he can be a douche – and a massive one at that, but he is popular, loved, beautiful and most importantly, he isn't broken. Broken like me.

"Clary, Clary, Clary!" Isabelle was waving her hand around my face, trying to get my attention. I was pulled out of my epiphany. "What?" I said quickly. Her dark eyes narrowed. Her face was angry, oh no, I think I've done something. "Why did you do that to Jace?" Well, I was definitely not expecting that. The question metaphorically knocked me off my feet. "What did I do to Jace? I didn't do anything…" Isabelle let out an exasperated sigh.

"Exactly." She said, drawing out the single word. "You've done nothing. Absolutely nil. But Clary, c'mon! You need to do something! God you are so thick sometimes!" Now I was really confused. "I need to do something?" I asked her.

She shook her head, her silky black hair swishing around her face. "I can't believe it. You two can't see it." Uh, see what? "Isabelle" I started to say, worry was evident in my voice. "I love you and everything but I think you are seeing something no one else can. There is nothing to see!" She let out a laugh. "Oh my God Clary, you really don't see how Jace looks at you," She paused and looked at me as if she knew something that I didn't, which is probably true.

"Or even more importantly, how you look at him!"

She knew. She knew how I felt. Wait a second. How Jace looks at me? "How does Jace look at me?" I asked her quickly, my voice sounding considerably breathy. She gave me a knowing look, raising her eyebrow. "He looks at you…" Her voice softened considerably, along with her face. "He looks at you the way you look at him." Like I look at him? Fucking hell, Jace really needs to stop sending those mixed signals. I swear I am going to have a mental breakdown at this rate.

During the argument I had going on I my head I realised something, something that literally made me grip my arms and my open my eyes wide, my mouth making the shape of an 'o'. Jace looked at me, the way I looked at him. Yes, that is exactly what Isabelle said, but then I found the meaning in it…as clichéd as that sounds.

I look at Jace like he is perfect. I look at him like he is the sun, moon and stars. He is whole, he is happy. I don't care if what I said was pure cheese, that is what I think, and if what Isabelle said is true… then that's how Jace looks at me… well something along those lines.

I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding in. What do I do? God, I don't think I can take it if he rejects me. I guess it's a chance I'll have to take, because what if Isabelle is right? "I have to find him" was all I said to her as I ran off in search of Jace. Isabelle stood there smiling like an idiot, clearly pleased with herself.

Realising it was lunchtime; I dashed off to the cafeteria. When I reached the doors, I ran straight into Simon. "Hey Clare-Bear" He said to me lazily. "Simon! Simon, Jace likes me too!" I whispered-shouted to him. His face visibly hardened and he held me back, his hands on my shoulders. "What are talking about Clary?" I sighed, "You know," I made a motion with my hands, "boy likes girl, girl likes boy." My hands mashed together… Simon got my point. His voice sped up, and he winced as he spoke "I don't want to hurt you but let me lay this out simply." I raised both my eyebrows.

"You don't like Jace, he doesn't like you." I'm pretty sure my face scrunched up in a way it never had before. "Simon, seriously let me in." I quieted a bit, thinking over what Simon was saying, I was extremely confused "Please, you don't understand." He let out a frustrated sigh. "Don't go in there, Clary." His voice was low and serious. I pushed him aside knowing what I had to do, "Don't be ridiculous Si, I need to see Jace!" He grabbed my arm, "I'm serious Clare." He was almost begging. I pushed him off me and opened the door.

Immediately my eyes went to the halo of hair across the hall and looked at his face, only to find the biggest slut in the school sucking on it. My breath was knocked out of me and my eyes widened. I thought, I thought he liked me too. I guess it's my fault; it's always my fault.

o.8.o

JPoV

Today was the day. The whole time I've been here at this school, Kaelie has been trying to cram her tongue down my throat and now it was finally coming to some use. Yesterday evening I almost chickened out, man normally I would have been all for this…easy pleasure. God, what's with me?

To be honest, for today being 'the day' it started out, and continued to be pretty shit.

The first part of my shitty day would be due to a very annoying Isabelle. My alarm stuffed up and so I woke up late only to have to wait a fucking half hour to use the bathroom. This is why I go in the bathroom before Isabelle. Why the hell would she need all the time in there anyway? Is she baking a cake or something?

Then, as I finally got into the shower, Alec was knocking on the door telling me to hurry up and get out because it was 'his turn'. It's so not fair that Maryse and Robert get a bathroom to themselves. After heaving out a sigh I got out of my shower sanctuary after being in there for only 2 minutes, at least it didn't leave me any time to think about Clary…much. I was grumpy and tired so it did not help my mood at all find out we were out of cereal and toast because Max ate it all, damn you pre-puberty. Great, something else Mum will make me do this afternoon, shopping.

When I got to school, starving might I add, I saw a group of people circle around something obviously exciting enough to capture the attention of 20 odd teenagers, which really isn't that hard when you think about it. Walking towards those familiar lockers I see, jut in time, Sebastian lean down and kiss Clary. I groaned internally at the not so pleasant thoughts running through my head, the nicer things I wanted to do with Clary and also the not so nice things I wanted to do to Sebastian.

As she breaks away from Sebastian's face, ew, she mouths "thankyou" to me. I nod and turn on my heels, "No fucking worries, Angel" I say to her in my head as I head to my own locker, wondering what would happen if I actually said that to her with as much sarcasm as humanely possible.

When lunchtime finally came around, much sooner than expected though, I felt like punching myself for what I was planning to do. I sat down at my table only to be assaulted, once again, by that nasally voice, probably a result of the incredibly plastic nose job. God, apart from that pretty decent rack she had, there was absolutely nothing positive about her, and even those were silicon infused.

"Hey Jacey-baby!" She squealed. Jeez, why the hell was she so happy that she felt the need to squeal all time; maybe it was just her voice. As I contemplated this we moved down the lunch line. I guess we were getting food, and I hadn't eaten all day so that was a bonus to this torture.

"Hi Kaelie." I muttered, nowhere near as enthusiastic as her greeting. She started to stroke my arm with her long, fake, blood red nails, after she jumped into the seat beside me. "So Jacey, I know the guy is normally meant to ask the girl but-" Her voice was seriously giving me a migraine. "I understand what you're trying to get at Kaelie." Man what was I getting myself into?

I took a deep breath and …"Will you go out with me this weekend, Kaelie?" I can honestly say I think her squeal was the loudest I have ever heard…and I have a sister… one of the girly kinds too. She basically assaulted me, her lips in a large pout.

I heard the sound of a chair being loudly across the floor, and looked up to see Clary's dorky friend Simon walking away in disgust. I almost did too, but then I realised that I was, in actual fact, a horny teenage boy who hadn't gotten any action in way too long… and hey, who knows what this could lead too?

Kaelie pressed her lips to mine.

o.8.o

CPoV

Why was I so stupid, why, why, why? I picked up the blade that I once shied from and felt it rip into my flesh.

Peace.

o.8.o

JPov

Disappointment. That is probably what I feel at the moment – I'm not really sure whom the feeling is pointed at though… myself? For doing what I did, and not getting caught by Clary as planned, Kaelie? For being a massive whore or slut or whatever she is. I just don't know, but I do know that's what I feel.

I know I'm not really a fan of PDA, but the make-out sesh with Kaelie was actually alright, she did know what she was doing. I don't think Clary saw but hey, with the way any piece of gossip around here spreads, I'm sure she would have heard by now.

I was kind of expecting her to barge in and make a scene… maybe profess her love for me? One can always hope. I walked home, enjoying the fresh air and using it to clear my head to think.

As I neared my house, I saw something strange – drops of blood trailed along the ground. Some kid probably tripped and scraped his knee, oh well. I walk straight past my house, following the blood, curiosity pushing me further. I realise where it leads and stop dead.

Clary's house.

What if she's hurt? What if her brother came back for her? Or worse, her father? I try the front door but it's locked, I knock it a few times before running around to the back, seriously panicking now. Just as I started to reach out for the handle, the door opened. A woman stepped out, looked extremely similar to Clary, except older, probably mid-forties, and her hair was a few shades darker. I guess this is her Mum.

"Yes?" she asked, clearly knowing I was about to come inside. "Um, uh" I stutter. What do I say to her mother? "Hi, um, I'm Jace. Your next door neighbour… is Clary home?" It might have just been me but as I said her daughter's name she seemed to pale a bit. "No" she said quickly. I found it odd she didn't introduce herself or anything.

Her voice darkened considerably, "You better be on your way then, Jace." I took a few steps back, feeling a bit lost. I wanted to ask her about the blood but it could have been anything. I'll just ask Clary tomorrow.

o.8.o

JocelynPoV

I soon as I saw him, I knew. I don't know how I did, but I did. He was the one who made her do it. He was the one who made her harm herself again.

"Yes?" I asked him, wanting him to leave and never come back, to leave my baby alone. "Hi, um, I'm Jace. Your next door neighbour," What an unusual name, "Is Clary home?" Yes, I thought to myself. Yes she is, and she's broken once more – like in the earlier days. And it's because of you.

"No" I told him, lying, wanting him to just leave. I didn't want to have the usual neighbourly conversation and ask all about where he came from, yada, yada, yada. "You better be on your way home then, Jace." I watched him slowly turn around and walk away. He looked confused… no, he has to know what he has done, he should know.

For some reason he reminded me of Clary's father. Yes, you could say I'm a bit prejudice but anyone who reminds me of that horrible, horrible man who stole my baby from me and did those things that he did to her is a big warning.

After getting into the care and turning on the ignition, I revved my engine, feeling a weight on my shoulders of what I had to go collect, I hated those damn pills. They took Clary away from me, but if it was what I had to do to keep her safe then I'll take it… for her.

I just don't understand! She was doing so great – laughing, smiling, she even wasn't afraid to go out and be herself. Letting her scars show, which was definitely a first. Then this afternoon she came home.

I knew something was off by her expression. It was pained, yet peaceful and almost… I can't explain it, but it's kind of dead, like there was no light on inside. Her walking seemed dragged and she made a wobbly beeline to her room, then I saw the blood.

My breathing stopped and I ran to her, pulling her into my arms, firstly needing her to know everything would be okay… then I pulled up her sleeves. The sight was painful. The wounds were deep and oozing red, the previous scars were raised and purple in colour. Why? Why did she do this? Why is this happening to her?

Together we walked into her room, me holding her upright. I tucked her into bed, only sliding off her shoes as she sat down and held her. She didn't cry, or even make a sound for that matter. She just lay there, alive but dead. I went into Clary's bathroom to find her meds; she hadn't had to take them in a long time. As I walked past her desk I knocked her sketchbook open. The pages were filled of what seemed to be the boy from next door – Jace. My breath sucked in as I realised what had really caused her to do what she did… I squeezed my eyes shut as the memories from this afternoon flooded my brain. My precious baby girl, he broke her heart.

Now you see why it's rated M...

Anyway rate and review and I'll see you soon!

xx